Fortuna
by FireKali Chaos
Summary: Complete! 01:02. Taito, DaiKen, Takari, others. A trip to the amusement park and a little excursion to the fortuneteller are just the push Yamato needs to realize something he's felt for a very long time.
1. Chapter 1

**Kali Notes:** This fic will come from Yamato's POV. Why? Because it just turned out that way…and he's one of my favourite characters. _shrugs_ Well, this came about because I've been back into a Digimon 01/02 mood lately, as well as the fact that I hate to see a good fandom die. Not that I can resurrect a fandom all on my own…but I'll contribute!

**Warnings: **Let me see…yaoi, adult language, adult situations, and probably a certain fluffy quality that may have to do with the amount of cotton candy the characters may be consuming in this fic.

**Disclaimer:** _checks_ Nope. Still don't own it! Go jump in a swamp, lawyers.

**Pairings:** Taito! _squeals_ And DaiKen, Takari, and mentioning of Joe/Mimi, Izzy/Miyako.

**Summary:** A trip to the amusement park and a little excursion to the fortune-teller are just the push Yamato needs to realize something he's felt for a very long time.

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**FORTUNA **

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_**Prelude**_

It started with a trip to the amusement park.

Well, that's not entirely accurate, I suppose. It probably all began a very long time ago, back when we original seven (and later Kari, too) Chosen Children were whisked away to the Digital World for the first time.

What 'it' am I talking about? Oh, just the little fact that I'm in love with my best friend – which means I'm at the very least bi-sexual. That part doesn't bother me one bit. It's just the part about Taichi that had been keeping me awake at nights, making me blush and stumble over my words whenever I was around him. Me! Ishida Yamato. How utterly pathetic and embarrassing it turned out to be.

Anyway, while I know now that I loved Tai even back in the wild days of our digital youth, I only gained realization and acceptance of that deep, abiding emotion a little over a month ago. It was spring break and all of us Digidestined were out of school. With our busy lives, we hardly got to spend as much time together as any of us would have liked. But this week off presented an opportunity, and we weren't going to waste it.

* * *

_**Chapter 01**_

We gathered at Koushiro's place (otherwise known as 'Izzy' to us) after much negotiation before hand over D3s and email and a few phone conversations. There were twelve of us, after all, and coordinating twelve people's schedules is a delicate task. There, after being served snacks and drinks by Izzy's mom, we tossed around ideas for things we could do over the break together.

"Soccer!" Chirped the two goggle-headed leaders of our little circle immediately. Ken just smiled and stuffed a cookie in Daisuke's mouth, while everyone else groaned and protested.

"Not likely." I said to Taichi, throwing a pillow from Izzy's bed (where I sat) at his head. "Think up something else."

"What's wrong with soccer?" Daisuke complained after swallowing his cookie. He gave Ken a deep pout. "Come one! Back me up here!"

"Not everyone likes playing soccer as much as we do, Dai." The young, quiet genius responded, patting his cinnamon-haired boyfriend on the shoulder in consolation.

The pillow got thrown back at me and Taichi scowled at me playfully. "Aww…the great Ishida Yamato doesn't want to get his hair messy or his clothes dirty playing a friendly game of soccer?" He teased me in a mocking voice. I frowned at him and stuffed the pillow behind me as a back cushion.

"Yes and no." I retorted. "Yes, I would rather not get dirty over a soccer game – which, by the way, wouldn't stay 'friendly' very long with the twin terrors there…" I pointed at Ken and Daisuke then at Taichi. "…and you all playing." Tai just rolled his eyes at me and the others when they started laughing in agreement. "And no, because I wouldn't have a problem playing soccer with you – but not when I know I'll have to play referee instead."

"Alright fine." Izzy interrupted, turning the conversation back on track. "So what else can we do?"

"Well,…" Iori spoke up quietly. "Remember how we once had Tai, Matt, and Izzy pretend to go camping with us younger kids that one time, so that we could go to the Digital World for several days without our parents wondering where we were?" At our nods – minus Ken, since he was still the Digimon Kaiser at that point – he continued, "Why don't we all go camping for real? I've never actually done it before."

"Yeah! Iori's right!" Miyako clapped her hands in a decisive manner. "Staying over in the Digital World doesn't count. That was, like, work or something."

"Where would we go, though?" Joe wanted to know, pushing up his glasses on his nose. "And how would we get there? How do we pay for stuff, too?"

"Maybe we should save camping for summer or something instead." Sora suggested. "I know us older kids at least don't really have a lot of money at the moment. And I know my mom wouldn't like us going off by ourselves without supervision – not away from home, anyway."

Mimi flicked her pink-streaked hair out of her face. "We aren't children anymore, Sora. They can't keep us locked away forever."

"I know. But as long as we live under their roofs we have to live by their rules."

"What about the amusement park?" Takeru asked, cutting off Mimi's reply. "That's a safe, relatively inexpensive way to have some fun, right? Then maybe we could all just have a picnic at the beach some other day?"

"Oh!" Hikari smiled from her seat beside my baby brother on the floor in front of the bed. "I think that sounds like a wonderful idea, Takeru!"

Daisuke rolled his eyes. "Of course it does. You think all of Takeru's ideas are genius." He said it with sarcasm, but the wink he sent them with it dispelled the negativity of his tone. They just rolled their eyes back at him.

"Quit being a jerk, Dai." Ken admonished. Daisuke pouted.

"Actually, the amusement park sounds like fun." Taichi leaned back against the wall and crossed his arms over his chest. "The picnic idea sounds good, too."

"And that's your stomach talking, big brother." Hikari laughed at his sheepish expression.

"Okay, so it's agreed?" Izzy looked around at each of us, waiting for protests or concerns. "Great! Now…when do we want to go and where should we meet up before hand?"

"I think as soon as possible would be perfect." Joe sighed. "At least then I'd have all my procrastination out of the way and I can get back to being stressed out and overworked with my homework and studying."

Collective groaning came from the rest of us, then laughing and giggles. It was such a Joe comment, after all.

"Joe has a point, though." I spoke up. Everyone looked at me. "We have a few days left for spring break, but we should make the most of them."

"Well…" Sora glanced around at each of us. "Why don't we all go tomorrow then?"

"Tai? Will Mom let us go?" Hikari asked. Her older brother snorted indignantly.

"We don't ask, Kari. We just tell her, 'Mom, we're going to the amusement park with the gang. We'll see you when we get back.' And then we go."

"I don't know…" Hikari shook her head, looking vaguely concerned. I frowned at the expression and made a mental note to get the story out of Tai later.

"Uh…everyone else think tomorrow is good?" Miyako inquired. At all our nods, she cheered and whipped out her D-terminal to make a note on the calendar. "Alright then! How does tomorrow at 10 am sound? We can all meet at the gates, and spend the day having the time of our lives!"

We all cheered at that. Miyako's enthusiasm was a great motivator, I'd come to learn.

After a few more hours of general chatting and catching up wit hone another, we finally trooped out of Izzy's room and went home.

Takeru and Hikari walked ahead of Taichi and I on our way home. Daisuke was spending the night at Ken's, otherwise he'd have been right there with us for the walk, as would Sora have been if she hadn't been staying over at Mimi's that night.

"So when are you planning on telling me what's wrong, Taichi?" I asked, nudging my best friend in the side. "You're quieter than usual, and if you think I didn't notice the looks you and Hikari were sharing, then you must think I'm blind."

"Lay off, Ishida. It's nothing." Taichi gave me a mild glare and kept walking, though he did shove his hands in his pockets and frown. That, of course, made me frown, too, and I laid a hand on his arm to get him to stop walking. He looked at me questioningly. "Matt?"

"Let's go to the park, Tai." I didn't let him protest. Instead, I called to our siblings. "Hey, Takeru! Hikari! You guys head home! Tai and I are going to make a stop at the park for a while!"

Takeru smiled and waved, ushering Hikari away. I grabbed Taichi's hand and pulled him along in the direction of the park.

"Matt! Hey! You can let go, you know!"

"I'm not letting you run away until you spill it and tell me what's wrong. A serious, depressed Taichi isn't natural and I am the one who has to fix it."

"You can't fix everything, Yama." He said softly, and there was so much regret in his voice that I did release him. We'd made it to what had become a regular hang-out of ours, ever since the early days of high school – the playground. At this time in the evening, there weren't any kids around, which made it the perfect locale for Digi-meetings or just plain getting together to talk. He was really worrying me now, though Tai almost never calls me 'Yama' – unless we're alone or he really needs to talk to me about something. He's also the only one who can call me that and get away with it, as I tended to death-glare anyone else who tried it.

I've been told my glare is indeed quite lethal.

"Okay, now I'm worried. Please talk to me, Tai. Even if I can't help the problem, at least by listening I can help you feel better, right?" I sat on one of the lowest rungs of the jungle-gym and patted the metal bar next to me. "Sit. Talk."

Taichi heaved a rather large, heavy sigh, and flopped down on the sand at my feet. "You can't change my mother, Yama, no matter how much I'd like you to."

Finding the bar I sat on uncomfortable, I slid off and sat next to him in the sand. "Your mom? What's going on, Tai?"

"I don't know. It wasn't like this after things settled down with the Digital World. She didn't seem to care if Kari and I went off and did our own things outside of home and school. She didn't try to keep tabs on us, you know?" I nodded. My parents hadn't let Takeru and I run wild, but they didn't try interfering in our lives either. Mother had been a little clingy to Takeru at first, but she got over it not long after she realized he wasn't going to disappear for days on end again. As for me, well, she hardly knew what to expect of me, after all, and Dad just asked that if I wasn't going to be around, then please leave a note.

It didn't sound like Taichi's mom was being that reasonable, though.

"It started off small. Mom would ask where we were going and when we'd be back. That was fine. I mean, it's normal parent stuff. But when she started wanting to know exact details – stuff like who we were going to be with, where all we would be, when we'd get there and when we'd leave, etc., etc., I thought at first 'okay, she's trying to keep track of two teenagers; this isn't so strange.' But then she started demanding we keep our cell phones on us at all times, and that if we were going anywhere other than school or wherever else we'd already told her we were going, then we were to phone her and ask permission!" I blinked in shock and watched worriedly as he got to his feet and began to pace, track pants making swishing noises as the material moved against his skin. "I'm 18 years old! Kari's 16! I don't think I need to ask permission to go to the theatre with you or the others, or to go play soccer with Daisuke and Ken! Kari doesn't need to ask permission to go shopping with Miyako or to go the library on her own, or whatever! Sure there are things I'd still ask if I could do it, but that'd be more habit and respect for my elders not that I require parental permission!"

I got up and grabbed onto his shoulders as he came past me in his stalking pace, and held him still. "Easy, Tai. You're making me dizzy pacing like that." I could feel him shaking with suppressed emotion, and it hurt to know I couldn't fix the problem. But I wasn't the Child of Friendship for nothing, and I'd do what I could no matter what. "Take a couple deep breaths, man, and calm down."

Surprisingly, he actually listened to me for once, and after some deep breathing he finally slumped forward right against me. If I hadn't had my hands on his shoulders he'd have fallen right over face-first to the ground. "Tai? You alright?"

"No. I'm so frustrated, Yama." He muttered into my shoulder where his head rested. I made soothing noises and simply held him, not at all weirded out by his proximity or the intimacy of it. Tai and I…had been through too much and been friends for too long for this to seem weird to either of us anymore. We'd seen each other at our absolute lowest and worst times. Besides the fact that my best friend needed comforting, I would do anything for him, if only he asked – and even if he didn't.

"Don't bottle it up, Tai. It's obviously been eating at you for a long time so get it out." I encouraged, unconsciously rubbing his back in soothing circles like I used to do for Takeru when he was little and upset.

"It just gets worse. Every day she gets more and more neurotic and paranoid. Kari and I have stopped mentioning anything to do with the Digital World around her, including the Digimon, and lately she hasn't even wanted to let us leave the house! For _school_, even, Yama! It's like she can't let us out of eyesight for a moment!"

"Yikes." I frowned and let my arms rest loosely around him while I thought about it. Tai shifted in my arms and curled his own around my waist snugly.

"You're thinking. Share, Yama." He said, glancing upward at me expectantly.

"Hmm…well, it sounds like she is extremely afraid you and Hikari will get messed up in another emergency and have to go off to save the world again." I answered quietly. "I mean, we were all pretty young when all that happened, and it's not hard to understand why she'd be worried about it happening again."

"I know. I do!" Tai groaned and moved away to go kick at a twig that lay on the ground nearby. "I just…I wish she'd just…"

"Get over it and lay off?"

"Yeah. Not even for my sake so much as Kari's." His face reflected an annoyed hopelessness.

Ah. Now I understood completely.

Hikari, out of all of us, _was_ rather special. As a teenager (well, a younger one until she got to high school), she did have a _few_ personality…issues that had a lot of people – even from our little group – tending to stay away from her and even being to hate her a little. She got over it, eventually, when she realized how close she was to coming to losing her connection to some of the people who were closest to her – all thanks to Taichi and my little brother.

But that's another story. When she was young, Hikari's health was rather fragile. She was always getting sick – like she couldn't fight off any virus that would come around at school. Her parents were always worrying about her – and Taichi, too. They were the closest pair of siblings I'd ever met. Even Takeru and I had nothing on Taichi and Hikari. And to make them even more paranoid about her health, she was one of _us_ – the Digidestined, the Chosen Children, whatever people wanted to call us. As one of us, she was caught up in the greatest battles of good and evil we _had_ to fight, like it or not. Hikari is the Child of Light (her name means 'light', too), and we found out that because of the Light she represented and embodied, she was therefore the most vulnerable to the opposite trait: Darkness, and that was why her health was always so fragile.

Taichi, who had long ago assigned himself as her protector, became even ore protective of her. However, Tai (and the rest of us) refused to treat her as if she was made of glass because she's _not_. She is strong – very strong – in both body, mind, and spirit. I took my cue from Taichi in how I treated her. I could understand how he felt. He confided to me once that he wanted to be the one person in her life that treated her as a normal kid and not something that might break in a strong wind. I hadn't known how sick she could get when I first met her, and when Taichi told me later, I found I couldn't treat her differently now that I did know. I had seen her be just as strong as her older brother, in the initial fights with Myotismon when we'd found out Hikari _was_ the eighth Child.

Yagami Hikari was definitely her brother's sister.

So this whole new wave of overprotective paranoia that Taichi was telling me about now made perfect sense to me, as did his reaction to it. Hikari had outgrown her vulnerability, had become strong against the Dark, and it was hurting them both to have their once supportive (though worried and protective) parents suddenly acting as if she was deathly ill and Taichi was off fighting in the Digital World again.

"Have you tried talking to your mom? Like, told her how this is making you two feel and stuff?" I asked. Taichi sighed and flopped down to the sand again, and I went and sat with him, hip to hip.

"I've been keeping just how bad it's gotten from Kari. She doesn't realize it yet. And I had a fight with her a couple weeks ago. It was ridiculous, and I'm glad Kari was gone with Miyako shopping at the time so she doesn't know about it." He leaned against me wearily and I nodded.

"What was it about?" Sometimes getting information out of Taichi was like pulling teeth. He tended to fall into thoughtful silences and forget he was talking to someone.

"I wanted to go to this soccer camp this summer that I'd heard about. It's only for a week, and it's being offered by one of the universities for potential high school grads that are thinking of trying out for the team." He began, brightening at the thought. I smiled at him.

"Sounds great – and like an opportunity for you." I commented.

"Yeah! My coach was really excited about it when he got the invitation to extend to his players." His face fell. "But when I told Mom about it…she heard the word 'camp' and immediately said no way."

I flinched. Yep. That was one definite way to get Taichi's temper flaming without much effort – getting between Taichi and soccer is guaranteed to piss him off.

"Damn." Was all I had to say so that Taichi knew I understood. That fight couldn't have been pretty.

"Yeah." He scowled darkly and flopped backwards onto his back with a huff.

"What did you do?"

"I blew up. I told her she had to let go and quit being so overprotective, that I was an adult a long time ago, and capable of taking care of myself – and Kari. And I told her to butt out of Kari's life, too, because she didn't need Mom's smothering." He gave a humorless smirk. "She kind of gaped at me all speechless then tried grounding me. I just walked out of the house without another word."

"Yikes. And your Dad?"

"He just…got mad at me and told me to be more respectful of my mother, and that she only wants what's best for her children so we should do as we're told." Taichi didn't sound very impressed. I wasn't particularly impressed, either.

"I wish I had something helpful to say." I said quietly after a few minutes of silence. Taichi shook his head and rolled onto his side to look at me. His eyes were a warm, sad brown that pierced right through me.

"I know. I'm grateful for the effort, Yama." He responded just as softly. "Maybe you can't solve my problems for me, but just listening made me fell better." Taichi smiled a little and I smiled back, relieved.

"Good." I replied. He rolled over onto his back again, and I joined him lying there on our backs and staring up at the night sky in silence for a while longer.

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**Kali Notes:** I'm going to do something new and different (yay, joy)! At the end of each chapter of this fic, I will give the episodes that are relevant to the chapter and/or inspired something I wrote. They aren't like footnotes, but just a little extra info – not to mention easy reference for readers to go watch and refresh their memories as to what the heck the characters are talking about. Anyway, I hope you all are intrigued and interested enough to review/comment and continue reading! Thanks for your time! **Please R/R!**

**Relevant Episodes: **Season 01, episodes 37 – 39, and 48. Season 02, episodes 19 and 20.


	2. Chapter 2

**Kali Notes:** I now present…chapter 02! LOL Thanks everyone for your amazing reviews for the previous chapter. I was floored, quite literally. Great motivation to actually continue with this project, of which I am rather fond. Enjoy!

**Warnings: **Yaoi, adult language, adult situations, and probably WAFF enough to give one cavities.

**Disclaimer:** _checks_ Nope. Still don't own it! Go jump in a swamp, lawyers.

**Pairings:** Taito! _squeals_ And DaiKen, Takari, and mentioning of Joe/Mimi, Izzy/Miyako.

**XXXXXX**

_**Chapter 02**_

I'm not sure how long we lay there for, but neither of us felt any rush to get up and go our separate ways. It had been, after all, a long time since we'd had the opportunity to just hang around together. We were best friends and as close as we could get, as such, but these days we hardly had any spare time for each other. It occurred to me then, that I missed him – missed his noisy, endearingly clueless, never-say-die attitude in my everyday life. Then again, he's matured a great deal in his teenage years and has become a lot quieter and more circumspect than he was in his rash youth. But this hasn't altered my view of Taichi. If anything, it's just made us closer because _I _have changed, too.

Eventually he let out a huge sigh and sat up with a stretch that briefly raised his shirt up to show off his flat but toned stomach. I felt a curious warmth and tingling sensation but ignored it and just watched him with sleepy apprehension. Taichi was always worth watching, and no one would ever claim that I didn't have an appreciation for beautiful things – and Taichi is beautiful in that athletic, golden, spends-a-lot-of-time-in-the-sun kind of way. Though, admittedly, he doesn't think of himself that way and doesn't pay much attention to his appearance.

But that's alright because I more than make up for that. I digress… Can you blame me?

Anyway, he sat up and stretched while I practically drooled over him. He turned and looked down at me with a questioning expression.

"Yama?"

"Hmm?" I looked up at him and met his gaze lazily.

"You were looking at me strangely."

"Was I? Sorry." I pretended not to know what he was talking about and he let it go.

"I feel a craving for ice cream!" Taichi commented, rolling to his feet and dusting off his pants. "I think I'll get some for Kari, too. Want to come to the store with me?"

I got up, too, and shrugged. "Sure I could use a snack." I followed him out of the playground, then out of the park, toward the market that was near both our apartment complexes. We walked in and went to the frozen food section, and spent a few minutes staring at the endless variety.

"I don't know what to get Kari." Taichi grumbled and pulled out his cell phone to call her. "Hey, it's me. I…what? I'm at the store with Matt. We're getting ice cream, that's why I called. Huh? Oh." He scowled and I would have hugged him had we not been in the middle of a somewhat busy grocery store. "Tell Mom I'm fine, I'm with Matt, and I'll be home in half an hour or so, then go hang out in my room, Kari, if she's bugging you. I'll talk to her when I get back. Uh huh. Let me deal with her, okay?" There was a long pause where he listened to his sister then smiled a little – that small, soft one that only Hikari could seem to get out of him, and I knew he'd be fine.

"Tai, get her the Rocky Road." I pointed at the container behind the frosty glass doors. He rolled his eyes at me.

"No, Matt wants to get you Rocky Road." I guess Hikari heard me over the line. "Something chocolate? How about Fudge? Cookie Dough?"

I swear his eyes lit up at that suggestion. I grabbed two small tubs of the Cookie Dough flavoured ice cream for them, and a small tub of lime sherbet for myself. At Taichi's raised eyebrow, I shrugged and said, "What? I want to try something different."

"I didn't say anything." He grinned at me, teasing, and I just tossed one tub of ice cream at him. He barely caught it one-handed. "Okay, sis. I'll be home soon, we're just going to pay for this. Get some spoons ready!" He hung up and put the cell in his jacket pocket as we went to stand in line at the cashier.

When we finally got to our neighbourhood, and were preparing to go our separate ways, I stopped walking and reached out to lay a hand on his shoulder and squeeze. "Hey, pal. It'll work out in the end. And if you need me…"

Taichi raised a hand and laid it over mine, letting it rest there, fingers curling around mine.

"I know. But thanks for reminding me." He turned his head and let his cheek brush my hand before releasing it and I pulled it back from him, blushing a little. That had been a tad affectionate in a new way – but then again this was Taichi and he didn't hide his emotions well. Not from me, anyway. Not that I understood that gesture…ah, hell.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Taichi." I gave him an easy smile and watched him walk off, heading for his building, ice cream in hand. I was worried about him, but I knew if he needed to escape, he'd either call or show up on my doorstep.

I made my own way home slowly, enjoying the peace and quiet. It felt good not to be in a rush for once. Life was a little too hectic these last few months, with school and practicing with my band and playing gigs…I barely had time to breathe sometimes.

I took off my shoes at the door and made my way inside, calling out, "Dad! I'm back!" There was no answer – though I hadn't really been expecting one. Dad's not around much anymore since he got a promotion at the TV station.

I put my ice cream in the freezer for a little while, since it was melting, and checked the phone for messages. Sure enough, there was Dad, telling me that he wouldn't be home for a couple of days. I sighed and glanced at the counter, where he'd left me some money for groceries. At least I wouldn't starve.

So I settled in for a relaxing, quiet night at home with my sherbet.

**XXXXXX**

Ugh. Too much ice cream last night.

I rolled out of bed feeling rather gross the next morning, and decided a shower would help. I love my showers – and have been teased plenty for them by my dearest little brother, Takeru, and by Taichi.

Speaking of, I wondered how things went last night. He hadn't called or shown up out of nowhere, so I assume it had been calm enough.

After my shower, I was eating my breakfast (hoping that I'd feel better after I ate real food) when the doorbell rang. I shoved my bowl of cereal away and went to answer it.

"Taichi! Hey, Hikari. And Takeru, too." I greeted the group at my door. "What are you all doing here?"

"Well, we're on our way to the amusement park, and we figured you'd come with us if we stopped by." Takeru grinned at me. "Otherwise you'd be still in the shower, no doubt." He dropped his hands down on Hikari's shoulders and squeezed. I saw how she leaned into him just a little more than she usually did.

I rolled my eyes at my brother and Taichi laughed. I noticed the strain behind the sound and made a mental note to ask him about it later.

"Har, har, Takeru. Come in for a few minutes, guys. I just have to clean up breakfast and find my keys and wallet." I led them in and went back to the kitchen.

"How's Dad, Matt?" my little brother inquired, filling the silence. Ever since Mimi gave me that American-ized name it had stuck, and they've all called me 'Matt' since – or Yamato, but that's usually when they're mad at me. Come to think of it, it's like my friends are my parents, calling me by my whole name when I've done something.

"He's fine, I guess. I haven't seen him for a couple of days. He left a message last night saying he wouldn't be back for a few more days." I shrugged and Takeru sighed.

"Too bad. I was hoping I could come over and stay a day or two to spend some time with him while I'm on break."

"Don't put the idea aside yet. It may work out." I dropped my dishes in the sink to deal with later and wandered over to the living room to find my keys and wallet. "I know Dad would love to have you here, 'Keru."

"You could still come over and stay with Matt, couldn't you, Takeru?" Hikari asked. He nodded.

"Yeah, I could." He shrugged. "We'll talk about it later, huh, Matt?"

"Yep. Got my stuff! Let's get going!" I led them back to the door and stepped into my shoes. Taichi tossed me a light suede jacket from the hall closet and I raised and eyebrow. It's still chilly out there. You get cold easily so take a jacket." He responded blithely.

"Uh…thanks." I slid it on and ignored the snickers from my little brother and the smothered giggle from Taichi's little sister. They obviously found something amusing, but I was sure I didn't want to know.

"Shut up, 'Kari!"

"I didn't say anything!"

"You're laughing!"

"Because you're funny!"

Well, at least the sibling arguments hadn't changed. And obviously Taichi knew what they found so amusing.

"If you're both quite done, can we go?" I interrupted, ushering them out the door.

"Yeah, yeah…quit shoving, Matt!" Taichi complained. I just laughed, closing and locking my door before joining my friends for the walk to the amusement park.

**XXXXXX**

Takeru and Hikari were walking ahead of Taichi and I at a fair distance – just far enough that we could see them but not hear them. Not that our beloved younger siblings couldn't take care of themselves…well, being a protective big brother never dies.

Since they _were_ out of ear-shot, I glanced at Taichi sideways and decided to get him to vent before we met up with the others. When he was in a dark mood (rare as that is) it tends to make the rest of us gloomy too. It was weird, but then again, we were Digidestined and we were connected in a way no one else on the planet was. We'd learned that through that the fight with Apocalymon.

"How did it go last night, pal?"

Taichi frowned. "Not well. Listen…I need to ask a huge favour…"

"Anything, Tai. You know that." I slowed my pace and he matched it, not looking at me. "Tai?"

"You're too good to me sometimes, Yama." He sighed and finally met my gaze. "Would it be alright if I moved in with you for a while? I'll pay for food and stuff, and even rent! I was going to get a job anyway, to save up for my own place for me and Hikari if she wanted, and…"

"Whoa! Tai, stop!" I grabbed him by the shoulders to give him a firm shake. "Cut it out, please, and listen to me, okay?" He snapped his mouth shut and stared at me expectantly. "Thank you. Now, you keep quiet and listen to me."

Taichi gulped in a huge breath of air and let it out in a deep sigh, then nodded. For once he listened to me and didn't say a word.

"You don't have to pay me or Dad back for anything. He thinks of you as one of his own sons you know. Here's what you can do: you'll come stay with me for a few days, and when Dad gets back we'll sit down with him and tell him what's going on with your parents. I'm sure he'll understand completely. Okay? One step at a time, Taichi."

"Yeah. Yeah, you're right. Thanks, Yama." He gave me this crooked smile that told me he really wanted to cry but was fighting not to. "You always know how to set me straight and make me use my head. I'm sorry I got all weird on you."

"Nah." I waved it off, grinning. "That was just normal Yagami Taichi to me. So!" I thumped him on the back and started walking again. "Let's enjoy our day out with our friends, pal!"

Taichi caught up to me and tossed an arm around my shoulders in a short glomp – nearly knocking me off my feet. "You bet! I've been looking forward to it!"

"Ack! Taichi!" I laughingly complained and finally earned that true grin of his from him. I relaxed now, because I knew he'd be okay if he could still smile like that.

**XXXXXX**

"Ugh…that's it! No more roller-coasters!" I came out of the washroom complaining to Izzy, Joe, and Iori, who'd all come along with me to make sure I survived.

"You going to live?" Joe studied me critically. "You're awfully pale, Matt."

"I'm okay. I just need to stay off roller-coasters or things that go upside down." I rubbed my stomach in an attempt to soothe. "I swear Taichi is trying to kill me."

Izzy patted me on the shoulder sympathetically. "I know how you feel, Matt. After last time I was here I swore I'd never do that again."

"There's a reason you're the Child of Knowledge, Izzy." Joe quipped, earning a mild scowl from the red headed computer expert, and a laugh from me. IT even got a smile out of Iori – good. He's too serious sometimes.

We walked back over to the roller-coaster to meet up with the others.

"By the way, Matt," Izzy said after a few minutes of silence. "I've been meaning to ask if you knew what was wrong with Taichi lately. I'd noticed he's been in a sort of…mood and that's been very unlike him."

Oh boy. I'd wondered if any of the others had noticed yet, and apparently they had. And of course they'd come asking _me_ about it.

Joe nodded and Iori looked serious – more than he usually does. "I'd noticed, too. He's been quiet – for Taichi – and the other day I saw him in the park all by himself, just sitting on a bench in the rain without an umbrella or anything."

I frowned. That I hadn't known. Was he running off to be alone a lot more than he'd let on? I came to a determined decision right then; Taichi was moving in with Dad and I that very night.

"Yeah. We've talked." I said quietly. I wasn't sure how much to say. "There's…some tension at home. He's going to come stay with me for a while."

The three boys stared at me, a little shocked.

"What's going on, Matt? Is there something we can do?" Izzy stopped walking and the rest of us stopped, too.

I knew why he was asking. Taichi…has done so much for all of us. So whenever we get the opportunity, we all try to do something for him, as if we could ever make up for all the selfless, sacrificing things Taichi has done – for us Chosen, the world, and the Digital World. Being the leader is a tough job on anyone, but in Taichi's case it was even more so. And next to me, Izzy is closest to Taichi.

"You'll have to ask him about it, Izzy." I replied. I met his eyes and tried to convey that I understood his concern and that I was on top of the problem. "For now, I think all we can do is make sure that he has fun and is kept distracted for the day. He really needs this." I glanced at Iori, catching his gaze. "Hikari, too."

I saw his eyes widen a little, but he simply nodded.

"Miyako mentioned Hikari was staying with her for the rest of the spring break."

"Really?" I smiled, somewhat relieved. "That's good. Taichi won't worry about her so much while he's at my place if Hikari's not at home either."

Joe set a hand on Izzy and Iori's shoulders. "Well, it sounds to me like Matt's got things under control, so let's just do like he said and make sure Taichi – and Hikari – have fun today. They know where to find us if they need help."

"Thanks Joe." I smiled at him and he just shrugged, returning the smile.

"Hey, if anyone at all can help Taichi, it's you."

We started walking again, and just as we got to the roller-coaster the others were getting off.

"Hey!" Miyako and Mimi bounced over to us first, completely unfazed by the roller coaster. "Are you feeling any better, Matt?" Mimi asked, studying me just as critically as Joe had.

"I'm okay, Meems." I gave her a smile meant to reassure. Apparently I wasn't convincing enough though, because she gave me this look and laid a palm to my forehead.

"Are you sure? You looked awfully green when you left. Maybe you should eat something."

I must have turned green again at the mention of food (and my guts flipped over unhappily in a clear warning) because Joe hastily rescued me.

"He'll be fine, Mimi. He just needs to stay off roller-coasters and wild rides for a while." I gave the doctor-to-be a grateful glance.

"Well, if you say so." Mimi gave in reluctantly, but she didn't mention it anymore. We all tended to listen to Joe on matters of health.

"I had eaten too much ice cream last night and I was feeling it this morning, too, Mimi." I added. "I wasn't feeling one hundred percent this morning when I got up anyway."

"Ah." Now she was all understanding and sympathy. Miyako, too.

"I've done _that_ before, so I totally get it, Matt! Don't worry!" Miyako struck a pose and declared, "We'll keep you away from the stomach grinding rides like the Zipper and the Graviton!"

I felt my stomach lurch at the thought and replied a little weakly, "Thanks, Miya."

Taichi and the others jogged up to us and he nearly knocked me over with his sudden glomp. "Ack! Taichi!"

"Matt! You okay?" He asked. "You should have said you weren't feeling well earlier. I wouldn't have made you go on the roller-coaster again."

I sighed and leaned into him just a little in acceptance of the apology I heard in his voice. "I'm fine. Don't worry about it, Tai. Or me."

He let go of me and walked beside me as we all started moving on in search of a different ride to go on. "Okay, but you're feeling better, right?"

I nodded, reaching out to give his hand a quick squeeze. "You can buy me a Sno-cone, though." I gave him a side glance and saw him brighten up.

"Hey yeah! Good idea. I'll be right back." Taichi dashed over to the nearest concession booth to get us Sno-cones. Sora, Izzy, Takeru, and Daisuke followed him to get snacks of their own and/or for one of the others. I figured ice and flavouring wouldn't bother my upset tummy, out of all the foods one can find at an amusement park.

"So what are we doing next?" Ken asked while we waited. I didn't really care so I said nothing.

"How about playing some games?" Hikari suggested, pointing in the direction of all the game booths. "We should each try to win a plushie or something as a souvenir."

"Aren't those games rigged?" Iori asked, skeptical.

"I haven't got any place to put a plushie in my room." Joe complained. He actually looked a little sad about it. "I've got all my shelves filled with books."

Mimi and Miyako, on the other hand, were sparkling madly. "Plushies!" They chorused, squealing in girly delight.

Ken rolled his eyes and Hikari giggled.

I leaned against a metal railing, smiling to myself slightly over it all. It was nice to know that even though our lives had…diversified and we'd all gone our own way to some extent, some things never changed. We were a closely knit group of friends, maybe more since we were connected in ways most other people could not fathom.

Taichi and the others returned, distributing Sno-cones, ice cream (ugh!), and other treats amongst the rest of us. The Child of Courage stayed next to me as we all began walking again, this time slowly while we enjoyed our snacks.

"How's the cone?" He asked, watching me eat some of it. "I wasn't sure what flavour to get you, so I picked something blue."

I shrugged, touched that he remembered my favourite colour. "I'm not that picky, Taichi. But this is good." And so far my stomach wasn't complaining. Joy!

"Good. If you didn't like it, I was going to go get you a different one."

I rolled my eyes. "Well, thanks. I appreciate the thought." He smiled at me and ate some of his own, something that was a mix of orange and red. "What flavour is yours?" I asked curiously.

"The orange is tangerine and the red is called 'dragon's blood' so I really don't know. But it's good!" Taichi held out his cone to me. "Wanna try some?" He offered. Not even thinking about what I was doing or how it may have looked I set my hand over his holding the cone and guided it to my mouth to take a small bite from the red side and let go. I made a humming noise as the ice melted in my mouth and I swallowed.

"Not bad." I commented, licking my lips of the little dribble that escaped. I noticed he was watching me intently, a small gleam in his eyes I couldn't identify. But I didn't really think about it or pay much attention to it. "Want to try mine?" I offered him my cone and he did as I had, guiding my hand up closer to his mouth and taking a bite. Some of the blue flavouring dripped down his chin before he could catch it with his tongue and again, without thinking, I wiped it away with my finger and licked the stuff off. "Like it?" I asked with complete oblivious innocence.

He looked a little startled, but it passed so quickly I wondered if I'd seen it. Taichi nodded and smiled. "Not bad." He echoed my response.

"So what was the blue stuff called?"

A grin. "'Wolf's bane.' The other reason I picked it."

I laughed. "Ah. You know me too well, Yagami."

"That so, Ishida?" He winked at me the little mischievous brat! I gave him a mock glare and nodded.

"Nobody but you, Taichi."

His grin faded into a softer, considering gaze and he looked forward again, saying quietly, "Same, Yama. Same."

For a couple of hours after that the group and I made our way through the games booths, steadily acquiring a small army of plushies – most of which we donated to the girls of our group, particularly Miyako and Mimi. Hikari excepted the ones Takeru and Taichi won, and Sora only took one other from me that she hadn't won herself.

Taichi, of course, had the need to tease me about it.

"Are you _sure_ you two aren't dating again? 'Cause it's so sweet I think I'm getting a cavity!"

I wrestled him into a headlock and messed up his wild mane of hair for that, laughing as he squirmed and viciously tried to tickle me to let him go. Sora just rolled her eyes at us, this small, fond smile on her face.

Sure, Sora and I were close. We'd dated early on in high school. But shortly after the whole thing with Mr. _I'm-never-going-away-no-matter-how-many-times-you-blasted-Children-defeat-me_ (aka Malomyotismon), she had come to me and explained that she'd come to the conclusion that she and I were not meant to be. We had a long talk, and by mutual agreement, we broke up.

But we're still close and we're still good friends. And Taichi, who was closer to Sora than any of us, had seemed…relieved when he found out. At the time, I hadn't paid attention.

Now, however, looking back on it all, I really did miss a hell of a lot of signs.

"Hey, Matt!" Takeru's voice broke into my reflective reverie and I blinked at him.

"What?"

"There's a fortune teller's booth over there! Hikari and I want to try it, but we're almost out of tokens, so…"

Taichi snickered and handed over some of his own for his little sister. I sighed and dug out some of my own for Takeru. "You know those are totally fake, right? It's a waste of tokens."

"Oh come on, Matt!" Takeru rolled his eyes at me. "It's just for fun! You and Taichi should try it, too!" He dashed back over to Hikari before I could say anything else.

I scowled after them, then glanced at Taichi and groaned at the bright eyed sparkle he had for an expression. "Not you, too, Tai!"

"What?" He asked innocently. "It does sound kind of fun, Matt."

"Didn't you have enough of prophecies and stuff in the Digital World?" I complained as he grabbed my hand and dragged me in the direction our siblings had gone.

"This isn't like _that_, Yama, and quit being such a wet blanket!" Tai complained.

We had to wait while our siblings went inside the shed-like booth to have their fortunes told. When they came out they were practically beaming sunshine, smiling from ear to ear.

"Must have been good news!" Taichi laughed as they blushed but nodded. "So what'd the fortune teller have to say?"

"Can't tell you, Tai!" Hikari batted her eyes at him cheekily and laughed at his pout. "We can't! Everyone knows that to reveal fortunes like that can jinx them or make good fortunes not happen!"

"That's right." Takeru added, nodding sagely.

I huffed. "They're going to get married, have a few kids, be successful in their careers, and live happily ever after."

"Matt!" All three howled at me in admonishment.

"What? We all knew that much already anyway." I smirked as Takeru and Hikari blushed and turned to walk away.

"We're going over this way. Catch up when you're done here, okay?" Takeru waved over his shoulder at us.

"So do you want to go first or shall I?" Taichi asked me.

"I don't care. What do you want to know, anyway?" I inquired, curious despite my skepticism.

He thought about it. "A couple of things, actually. Wait here, Yama. I'll go first, then."

I shrugged and leaned against a light-post as he went inside.

**XXXXXX**

**Kali Notes:** And now…things really get interesting! Thanks again for the reviews everyone! It warms me to see that this fandom is still alive out there! **Please R/R!**

**Relevant Episodes: **Season 01, episodes 48-50; Season 02, episode 37, and the 4th Digimon movie (never shown in North America). And…FYI, I recently noticed that someone uploaded Digimon episodes on youtube…the Singapore release, but in ENGLISH. O.O I'm not kidding you. It's the original Japanese, but dubbed over in English – not the North American actors we know, but other people – with accents. XD It's rather cool. I suggest checking it out (LiLAsN, is the person who put them up).


	3. Chapter 3

**Kali Notes:** Eep! Sorry about the wait on this, everyone! O.o My bad. I promise to not let it go THAT long without an update again.

**Warnings: **Yaoi, adult language, adult situations, and probably WAFF enough to give one cavities.

**Disclaimer:** _checks_ Nope. Still don't own it! Go jump in a swamp, lawyers.

**Pairings:** Taito! _squeals_ And DaiKen, Takari, and mentioning of Joe/Mimi, Izzy/Miyako.

* * *

_**Chapter 03**_

It only took ten minutes for him to go in, get his fortune, and come out again. But when he did, he had this strange, contemplative expression on his face and when he looked at _me_ it was…considering.

"What?" I asked defensively. Some insecurities don't go away, and one of mine was being looked at as if the person was judging something about me. "Is there something in my hair or what?" I patted my head lightly, checking for anything out of place.

"It's nothing." Taichi shook himself out of whatever had come over him, gently but firmly pushing me to the door. "Your turn! Go on, Yama! It's not that bad!"

I had to fight off my inclinations to dig my heels in and refuse to budge, but…for Taichi I'd do anything, particularly now when we were supposed to be having fun and making him forget about home. So I let him push me inside.

I looked around, somewhat curious and somewhat bored already. And at the same time, I was kind of apprehensive.

It was basically a shed that had been converted and decorated up to appear mysterious and eerie for the benefit of the…customers. It was dark inside, the only light coming from the back of the room. I could smell incense burning, and I could hear the sound of instrumental music playing quietly mixed with the sound of running water – like a waterfall, but a very small one. I pushed my way through the gauzy, transparent coloured drapes that hung from the ceiling until I found a woman sitting at a table shuffling a deck of cards – playing cards, not tarot, as one would have expected. There was no crystal ball or tea cups in sight, either – none of the trappings you'd expect of a carnival fortune teller.

"Well, well. Another one. It seems I am quite busy today." The woman set aside her cards and gestured to the chair opposite her. "Have a seat, Ishida Yamato. I can tell you have a few questions that I can clear up for you."

I just stared at her. "How do you know my name?"

The woman – not very old, either – rolled her eyes and wiggled her fingers at me mockingly. "Ma-gic. Oooh…" My frown made her point at the chair again commandingly. "Sit! Now."

I sat.

"Good. To answer your question, _sans_ sarcasm, I'm psychic. Other than that…my sister is a huge fan. And before you ask, no this isn't my chosen career. I'm in university and this is my summer job, but I'm filling in for our regular fortune teller for a while, who's off having a baby." The young woman tilted her head, studying me. "Interesting that you're much less angst-y and unapproachable in person. I'm Lily, by the way."

At the risk of giving off the impression I was highly unintelligent, I blinked stupidly at her and managed to say, "Hi." in return.

"Okay, let's do this since you're obviously a skeptic who somehow got talked into doing this." Lily pulled out a fancy jar from under the table and set it down off to the side. "Here's how it works: one question, one answer, one token in the jar. Capiçe?"

"Uh…yeah." I knocked myself around a little mentally to come to my senses and figured, _Alright. I'll play along. Maybe I can prove you're a hoax_. I dug out my tokens and dropped one on the jar. "How can you tell fortunes? You can't just see the future can you?"

"I'll answer that for free, since everyone asks that." Lily sighed. "I'm psychic. I can see glimpses of the future, in a mind-boggling number of possibilities. To tell someone's fortune, I can give a general sort of summary of what I see for individuals – or couples. Sometimes I see things that are very clear and those are the ones that seem to be set in stone – more or less. The fuzzier the less certain, you see." She smirked and pulled out a deck of Tarot cards. "Of course, if you prefer the trappings of a prognosticator, I _can_ use these."

"Whatever. Either way, I'm not likely to believe you." I shrugged carelessly.

"Then I'll just ditch these and use my own talents. Besides…" Lily made a face. "These aren't my cards and the energies are way off-balance. They'd be inaccurate anyway." She folded her hands expectantly. "Now. What's your first question, Yamato?"

"Matt, please. Just Matt."

"Fine."

I frowned thoughtfully. _Start of benign_, I decided. _Then move to things she couldn't possibly know_.

Ho boy was I _off_. She blew me away before I could even get started.

"Will I graduate high school with decent grades?"

Lily got this faraway look in her eyes, like she was listening to something only she could hear. It was…kind of spooky.

"Yes. In fact, you'll be one of the top five in your class because you'll finally get that extra help with your math and improve your grades to match the rest of your classes." She blinked and looked at me clearly again, snickering. "Not just another pretty face who can sing and play a guitar, are you?"

I admit I flushed a little. My music has always been more important to me than my grades, but I've always done well in my classes out side the music room, too.

"Can I ask about other people?" I wondered.

"It's your token. Ask away."

"Will Taichi continue playing soccer and be successful at it?" I really was curious about that.

"For the time he plays, yes. He won't be a soccer freak forever, though." She actually smiled softly at me. "He's going to have someone more important to him than soccer, and he has another calling someday – but not for another decade at least."

I raised an eyebrow. "Okay." I dropped two more tokens into the jar.

"Come on, Matt. Ask me something a little more challenging and about yourself. Whether or not you believe me doesn't matter. It's all in fun." Lily leaned forward. "No matter what I tell you your future holds, it isn't set in stone. You can change the future with every decision you make, every choice."

"I don't understand."

"Let's see…" Lily tapped her fingers on the tabletop thoughtfully, eyes going distant. "Ah. Here's a blast from the past for you. Interesting! So you're a Chosen Child. Like the last three that came through."

My jaw dropped. No way she could have known that – could she? Well, I suppose it was possible she'd been around for the events that happened when Myotismon was in the real world looking for Kari, or seen our battles on the Internet and here in the real world with Diaboromon.

"Okay, here's an example. Despite the fact that you were 'Chosen' to be Digidestined, you still had to make the choice to accept that destiny. If you had decided to have no part of it, I can see two possibilities that may have occurred. One, Myotismon would have destroyed both worlds with his evil, or two, another set of kids would have been called to take the burden of being Digidestined and fight instead of you." She gave me a sympathetic gaze. "No offence, but had it been me, I wouldn't have been strong enough to take on the responsibility you all did."

"I…you can see that?" I stared in disbelief. There were very, very few people who understood what it truly meant to be Digidestined – and even the others all over the world didn't understand what it was to be a Chosen Child – a Bearer or Guardian of one of the Crests. This was something that there was _no way_ Lily could have known. Not unless she was Chosen as well – and she wasn't.

Not that I was sold on her apparent psychic ability yet, mind you.

"I see all, I know all." She drawled. "Didn't you see the sign outside the door? Ask on, Matt. _Tempus fugit_."

I dropped a token in the jar. "Will I make it as a big rock star?"

This time she laughed. "You're on your way to that already. But like Taichi, it will only be for so long before you decide to settle down and follow a different calling."

I raised an eyebrow again. "So I won't be a has-been because of losing the fans interest but because I…retire?"

"Yep. Next?"

Another token, another question. "Is the Digital World going to remain safe and at peace?"

Her expression turned serious and distant. "Not forever, no. But you knew that already. However, it won't be for a few more generations that the darkness will threaten both worlds once again, so you needn't worry. There will be future Digidestined who will be called and will fight as you have."

Oddly enough, I felt a small weight lifted at that. She was right. We knew the darkness would return someday. And I think we all have a secret fear that it would come back in our lifetimes and we'd have to fight again. I wasn't sure I believed Lily, but I could accept her answers without believing them or her ability.

Only time would reveal the truth of the matter, after all.

I asked a couple more questions, about my family and friends' lives. According to Lily, my parents would live long and happy lives (Dad would have to quit smoking though). Takeru and Hikari were going to do fine together (like I said before…we knew _that_). Ken and Daisuke would have a rough patch of separation – and stardom – but it would make their relationship stronger and more solid when they got back together.

Mimi would get frustrated with the fashion industry and find her true fortune in…food. I shook my head at that, but shrugged. And Lily said she and Joe would be just fine with their two kids.

That I believed.

Koushiro and Miyako would have a boat-load of children and would create some insanely high-tech super computer to study the Digital World (though Miyako would be more occupied with the kids than with the computer).

Iori was going to be one hell of a lawyer someday, which didn't surprise me knowing his strong sense of right, wrong, and justice.

Sora, unlike Mimi would take the fashion industry by storm with her designs and would make her label well known all over the world.

I didn't ask about Sora's romantic life. I already knew about that, and so did she. It was part of the reason we broke up.

"Huh. Well, I guess that's it." I stretched and smiled. "It was all very interesting, Lily. No offence if I still don't entirely believe, though."

"Whatever. Being able to question is healthy. Believing everything you're told is a good way to get into trouble." Lily tilted her head at me. "And you're not done yet. You haven't asked about your love-life."

I blinked at her. "I don't have time for one right now, and there's no one I'm particularly interested in anyway. Why waste a token asking?"

"_Everyone_ wants to know about that part of their life." Lily scoffed, dismissing my explanation. "You know what? I like you, Matt. You're a good guy with an honest heart and soul. So I'll do a special fortune for you for free – just don't tell anyone or they'll take it out of my earnings." She held out her hand. "Take my hand, Matt. Sometimes if I'm touching the person I can get a clearer idea of things and focus better on what I'm looking for."

Slightly amused – and resigned, since she obviously wasn't going to let me leave until I let her do it – I placed my hand in hers, and she gripped it loosely for a moment.

"Hmm…well, Matt. I see a tall, dark brunette in your future. Marriage is not something either of you believe in – not for yourselves, at any rate. But you'll be together until death do you part, even if there is no 'official' ceremony to bind you together in the eyes of society."

"Oh really?" Can I get any more skeptical? Probably not. "What's she like?"

Note to self – never _assume_.

"_He_ is someone you already know." Lily stressed the pronoun firmly, cracking open an eye to look at me. "I can see quite clearly that you appreciate beauty in all things, and that's regardless of gender, race, ethnicity, etc.. That's good, because that open mind will give you both strength and bind you closer than white on rice." Lily closed her eye and continued, while I wrestled with the information that apparently I was bi-sexual and that I'd choose my own gender in the end over the opposite one.

"You're already close to the guy. In fact, you probably know him best – better than anyone else, including – if not especially – his own family. You can understand each other like no one else can, and though your interests are often radically different, you're still the best of friends and always manage to find something to do together that you both enjoy." Lily paused, then grinned. "Ah ha! Didn't see that with him when he was here…"

"Huh?" I froze, beginning to piece this all together in a strange and kind of weird conclusion. "When he was here?"

"Oh. Yeah. Sorry about that. I was off in 'vision mode.' Anyway, I see kids. Someday…way into the future…through an old, trusted friend as a surrogate mama for each of you. It'll all work out just fine." Lily opened her eyes and smiled at me, letting go of my hand. "There you have it!"

"Wait! Who?" I demanded, a tingling sensation running up and down my spine and a lump forming in my gut.

"Sorry, Matt, but it's my own personal policy not to give exact details like names unless the person I'm reading gives the name first. I hate being accused of matchmaking and of using 'suggestion' to push people together. I give clues – which are barely more than hints – and it's up to you to figure it out for yourself. I can't tell you who to love. Only that metaphysical muscle beating in your chest can do that." Lily stood up and glanced at her watch. "It's supper time! And you've got friends waiting for you. Better hurry."

Stunned and feeling a little shaky at the idea – no, it wasn't an idea, I realized. It was a truth that I hadn't thought about yet or had _wanted_ to think about. I had put two and two together to get five. I knew who she was hinting at.

And as I stepped back outside, he was leaning on the lamppost waiting patiently for me, brown eyes widening at the expression I must have had on my face.

"Yama? Hey, man, you okay? You look shell-shocked!" Taichi came up and studied me in concern, a hand coming up to grasp my arm to steady me as I stumbled a little. My knees felt like jelly and my heart was suddenly in my throat. I couldn't breathe, couldn't speak. I think I managed a strangled noise before everything went white, then black.

I passed out. How girly and pathetic of me.

* * *

"Whoa! Yama!" Taichi caught the blonde as he slumped suddenly. He'd been paler than usual coming out of the booth, and Taichi had been instantly concerned. "Geez…for someone so skinny, you weigh a ton! Come on. Let's find a bench for you."

He looked around and spotted an empty bench not far away. He grunted, shifting Matt's weight, and dragged the blonde over, sitting him on the seat and propping him against the bench back. "There we go. Matt? Hey, Yama! Wake up, Ishida." Taichi tapped Matt on the cheeks lightly, shaking his shoulders a little.

"Tai! There you are!" Izzy and Joe appeared, stopping in concern when they saw Matt. "Uh oh…"

"What happened, Tai?" Joe gently – but firmly – swatted Taichi's hands aside, picking up Matt's wrist and proceeding to check his pulse.

"I don't know. He was fine when he went into the fortune teller's booth, but when he came out he was really pale and he just…keeled over."

"Uh huh." Joe put Matt's wrist down and pried open his eyelids to take a look at his pupils. "Well, I'd say it's a combination of too much sun, not enough fluids, and I don't remember him eating since he was sick after the rollercoaster."

"Well, he had a sno-cone because he wasn't sure his stomach could handle anything greasy or heavy." Taichi replied. He reached up and brushed blonde hair out of Matt's face. "I figured when he was done his turn in the fortune teller's booth we'd go find the rest of you and go out for real food, but I guess it was a little late."

"I don't know." Joe sat back on his heels and blew out a breath. "I have a few questions to ask him, but I have to wait until he wakes up. However," he adjusted his glasses. "Food is definitely a priority."

Izzy nodded. "When you and Matt didn't join us after such a long time, Joe and I volunteered to come look for you. We had some similar ideas about eating, too."

"Well, I say as soon as we get Matt back on his feet, we blow this place and get some food." Taichi turned back to his best friend, taking his hand and clasping it between his own.

"I'm going to go get a bottle of water for him. I'll be right back." Joe stood up. "If he wakes up, make him relax and get his bearings back before he tries standing or anything."

"Sure." Taichi agreed. Joe walked off and Izzy observed two of the people that mattered most to him. He was sure that Taichi didn't realize it, but the goggle-head was still holding Matt's hand and was gently stroking his hair with the other hand. These were not the gestures of friends, not even close friends as Taichi and Yamato were. Well, the gestures were within that realm, but the way Taichi performed them _was not_ giving off 'friend' and _was_ more like 'lover.'

At the same time, it wasn't surprising to Izzy. His ever inquisitive self had long since suspected that the two boys had true feelings for each other – though they probably hadn't acknowledged it to themselves, let alone each other, just yet.

"Matt? Hey, Izzy, I think he's coming around." Taichi squeezed Matt's hand encouragingly. "Come on, Matt. Come back to the living!"

* * *

"Ugh."

Okay. That sucked. And my head hurts.

"Matt? You okay?" I heard Izzy's voice, then Taichi's, both full of concern.

"You really know how to scare me, Ishida. Open your eyes and talk to us, buddy."

"Uh…Tai?" I felt my hand be squeezed and I sighed, squeezing back as I blinked open my eyes. "Ah…what happened?"

"That's my question." Taichi smiled in relief. "But it can wait. Joe went to get you a bottle of water. How are you feeling?"

"Weak and shaky, and my head hurts." I complained, leaning back against the bench seat I sat on. "I passed out didn't I?"

"Went down like a brick." Taichi agreed. "Joe says you probably had too much sun and not enough food and liquids."

"That's part of it, yeah." I sighed again. "Sorry, guys. Didn't mean to worry you."

"It's alright, Matt." Izzy glanced over to the side. "Here comes Joe with your water."

"Oh good. You're awake." Joe smiled at me in relief as he approached. "If you weren't awake when I got back, I was going to call for an ambulance." He handed me the bottle of ice-cold spring water in his hand. "Sip this slowly. Don't chug it."

I took it gratefully and obediently took a small sip. _Ooooh_ _yeah._ _That's much better_. I felt Taichi's hand on my back, hidden from the others' view, rubbing in soothing circles. I leaned into the touch unconsciously. "Thanks, Joe."

"Sure. I'll be keeping my eye on you for the rest of the day, though."

I laughed a little. Good old reliable Joe.

"You feel up to walking around?" Taichi asked me, hand stopping at the small of my back but not leaving. "We should go find everyone else, and then go find a good restaurant."

"Yeah. I think so." I slowly got up, feeling a brief moment of wooziness but it passed quickly. Taichi was on one side of me, standing close, and holding me steady with a hand under my elbow.

"Okay?" He asked again.

"Yeah. I'm good. Let's go…just walk slowly, alright?" I followed Izzy and Joe as they began to walk. Taichi released me, letting me move on my own power, but staying close, hovering like a mother hen.

We moved along in companionable silence, for which I was grateful. I had remembered what Lily had told me in that booth, and I wasn't sure if I was embarrassed, annoyed, excited, or interested. It was all so very confusing.

I began running through all the things about Taichi that I liked, asking myself the questions I thought one should ask about potential crushes or love interests. I like him as a person – his personality, his physical and emotional strengths, his quirky attitude. I admire and respect him for having goals and somehow achieving them no matter what roadblocks life put in his way, his leadership skills, his diplomatic sense of right and wrong and his ability to use it for the benefit of all. I appreciate his sunny, courageous spirit, and strong, caring heart. He cares about Hikari as I do Takeru – though that's where I cease any comparison of our relationships with our siblings. I learned _that_ lesson long, long ago.

He was the best, greatest friend I could ever have hoped to have. He was always honest with me, even when he knew it wasn't what I wanted to hear. He didn't hesitate with me or my emotions, didn't pull his punches and hold back.

I spotted the rest of our friends in the distance, gathered in a group near the amusement park's exit gates, although it didn't really register with me. I was lost in thought. The vague – and yet not-so-vague at the same time – hints Lily had given me had very much made my mind go off on a quest of self-discovery and introspection, even if I didn't really believe in psychics or fortunes.

Or did I? I had believed the different prophesies Gennai had told us back in the Digital days of our younger youth. Okay, I was young and impressionable then, but still. Agh! I didn't know what to believe anymore!

* * *

The rest of that day and evening I found myself watching Taichi whenever I thought no one was looking. The more I observed, the more I thought about the possibilities, the more I discovered things I had never really paid attention to before, things I began to see in a whole new light. Interestingly, and most definitely embarrassingly, many of those things were physical and attractions, and as such it was getting difficult to separate hormones from real emotion.

He'd accidentally brush against me while we walked, or when he reached for something on the table, or _whatever_, and leave that piece of me tingling and craving more solid sensations. His voice would send sparks shimmering down my spine.

At one point we ended up squashed together in a cab with our siblings and Sora, and Taichi was pressed right up against my side, an arm thrown around my shoulders casually so that he could be as close to me as possible to make room for Sora on his other side (with Hikari and Takeru up front with the driver). Being snuggled up close to him, bodies sharing heat and the realization that I quite _liked_ having his arm around me was enough to finally combine with the rest of my 'revelations' of the day to come to the conclusion that yep. I was _at least_ lusting after my best friend, if not outright becoming highly infatuated with him.

We got out of the cap at my mom's place. Why the cab when we'd walked earlier? It was dark, for one thing, and for another, Taichi didn't want me to walk so far when I'd obviously been of ill health all day (even if I protested loudly that I was perfectly fine now, thank you!) and he was in his 'leader' mode. I'd also had to promise Joe that I would come by and see him for a check-up next week.

"I just want to make sure that it's not something more serious than a little sunstroke, Matt." Joe had said in a low voice as we had stepped outside the restaurant so that the others couldn't hear. Well, we _thought_. Taichi has annoyingly good hearing.

"I'll make sure of it, Joe!" The bushy-haired brunette had exclaimed. I had scowled as he dragged me into the cab after him.

"Must you?" I complained.

Now we were trying to figure out what we were going to do next. I pulled Taichi aside for a moment.

"Listen, Tai, I was thinking you should grab your stuff tonight and come home with me." I told him in a low voice. "You need to get out of there and spend some time away from your mom."

He gave me a half-grateful, half-surprised expression. "Are you sure, Yama? I'd really appreciate it."

"Of course, man." I slung an arm around his shoulders and gave him a hug. "You know I wouldn't offer otherwise."

Taichi smiled. "Yeah." He glanced at his sister worriedly. "Though…I don't know if I like leaving Hikari there by herself to deal with Mom on her own. She was going to Miyako's tomorrow, but tonight…"

I nodded. "Good point. Does she have someone she can go stay with? At least until school starts again?"

"I'd normally say Miayko. Or even Mimi. But Miya has no room for a semi-permanent guest at her place with that huge family of hers, not longer than the rest of spring break, and Mimi…"

I laughed. "Yeah, I know. We lover her but she'd drive Hikari crazy after a day, no doubt."

"Bingo."

I watched Hikari and Takeru pull Sora down the sidewalk and Takeru waved to us to hurry up and follow. "As one, Taichi and I obliged, but at a much slower pace. I had an idea, but I wasn't sure he'd go for it.

"You may not like this," I began. It wouldn't hurt to try. "But what if we talked to Sora? She and her mom have that huge apartment, and they both care about Hikari as much as we do."

Taichi stuffed his hands in his jacket pockets and frowned. "I really don't want everyone to know what's going on, Matt. The others…they'll all want to help and get involved, and I just…I don't want that."

"I know, Tai. I do!" I insisted at his skeptical look. "Honestly, I do get it. But Sora isn't like the others. She knows you and Hikari, and your parents, better than the rest of us. And you know she can keep secrets – or at least be trusted to stay out of things you don't want her to be involved in. Besides, Hikari needs someone to talk to and confide in. I know she's probably told Takeru – those two don't have a single thing they _haven't_ told each other – but I think she could use a female confident." I couldn't help the mystified expression on my face. If there's one thing I don't get on this planet, it's _girls_. "You know…that thing girls do that we always get death glares for intruding on."

Taichi snickered, nodding in agreement. "Girl-talk. Is that what you're getting at?" He sobered and seemed to think about it. "Alright. But only Sora, and if she can't take Hikari, then we'll just have to…find someone else."

"Agreed." I grabbed his hand and urged him to run alongside me to catch up to the others, squeezing reassuringly. "It'll be okay, Tai. Let's hurry and catch up."

* * *

**Kali Notes:** Sorry for the long wait once again. Thank you everyone who has commented/reviewed so far! I'm so happy to see that the fandom is still alive and active. **Please R/R!!!!**

**Relevant Episodes: **Perhaps just the final episode of season 02, with Takeru's spiel about what goes on in the future. I borrowed a few things from that for the others' fortunes.


	4. Chapter 4

**Kali Notes:** I apologize again for the wait. Some things came up in life and I wasn't writing or updating much of anything. So sorry! Anyway, I have been writing much more lately and now I'm ready to do some posting!

**Warnings: **Yaoi, adult language, adult situations, and probably WAFF enough to give one cavities.

**Disclaimer:** _checks_ Nope. Still don't own it! Go jump in a swamp, lawyers.

**Pairings:** Taito! _squeals_ And DaiKen, Takari, and mentioning of Joe/Mimi, Izzy/Miyako.

* * *

_**Chapter 04**_

"Go get your stuff, Takeru." I said as we entered Mom's apartment. "An don't forget your toothbrush this time. I'm not lending you mine again if you do forget it." I'd invited him to come stay at Dad's in the elevator.

He rolled his eyes at me. "Yeah, yeah. Come on, Kari. Keep me company while I pack.

"Sure!" She followed him with a smile.

Takeru had mentioned that Mom had gone off on an assignment for the newspaper for a couple of days though she'd be back tomorrow, and so we were in an empty apartment. It was my third home, after all. If I wasn't bunking at Dad's, I was either at Taichi's or here, ever since Mom and I had begun to make tentative steps toward getting to know each other and forgiving each other for past issues.

It had always been my little brother's fondest, most fervent wish that we could all be a family again. Happy. And in a way we'd done that – even if we didn't live together. It worked for us.

I led Taichi and Sora into the living room to wait, and gave Taichi an encouraging nudge.

"Hey…Sora?" He fidgeted and sat heavily on the sofa. I curled up beside him, tucking my feet under myself and leaning on the arm. Sora took the armchair and gave us curious looks.

"What's up, Taichi? Yamato? You both look like you've got bad news for me."

"No. It's not like that." Taichi glanced at me then sighed and stared at the coffee table while he spoke. "See…it's about Mom and Dad…"

He gave her an abbreviated version, leaving out most of it but enough to make his point. Sora was frowning deeply in concern, and I could see she could tell just how bad it really was for him and Hikari at home – reading between the lines, as it were.

"Taichi's coming to stay with me for a while, starting tonight, Sora." I added after a moment of silence when my best friend stopped talking. "But…we don't know if leaving Hikari behind with their Mom and Dad is a good idea."

"Hikari had suggested asking you if she could come stay with you after spring break, at least until we've worked all this out with our parents." Taichi slouched in his seat dejectedly. "I didn't want to impose on you or your mom like that, though, so I said to hold off asking, but now…"

"Imposition? Yagami Taichi don't you pull that bullshit on _me_." Sora got up and crossed over to him, kneeling on the floor in front of him and taking both his hands in hers. "You _know_ anything you need I would be happy to help you with. And I love Hikari, too. If I had a little sister, I'd want one like her." Sora gave him a fierce stare that dared him to say another word about it. "Of course she can come stay with us. My mom will be thrilled."

Taichi smiled slightly, looking vastly relieved. "Thanks, Sora."

"What can I tell my mom as to why she's coming to stay?" Sora asked, seriously. I know you don't want the whole world knowing or interfering so I'll ask what you want me to tell her so that I don't accidentally say more than I should."

He nodded and pulled his hands away to push himself more upright in his seat again. I relaxed a little, having unconsciously tensed up when she'd taken his hands in the first place. I had a fleeting moment to realize I didn't like her touching him – which was odd since I didn't care before. Or did I? I didn't have time to mull that over before Taichi was speaking again.

"Just…tell her that we're having problems with my parents, but don't get into details, and that I had to leave for a while but didn't want to leave Hikari there alone. And stress that I don't want anyone to get involved yet, that I'm trying to work it out."

Sora nodded. "Sure, Taichi. I won't say anymore than that. Mom won't do or say anything, either, unless you ask her to. I can promise that."

"I know. Thank you, Sora."

She waved away his thanks. "Anything to help, remember?"

Takeru and Hikari returned shortly after, my little brother holding a back-pack in one hand and Hikari's hand in the other.

"I got my stuff!" He declared cheerfully. "Shall we go?"

"Yeah." Taichi, Sora, and I rose and we all headed for the door.

"Hikari…" Taichi said quietly as we stepped onto the elevator.

"Yeah, Taichi?" She looked up at him, her smile fading away into seriousness at his expression. "What's wrong?"

"When we get home, you and I are going to pack up some stuff – enough for a week or so, at least."

"I'm already mostly packed to go to Miya's tomorrow. Why?"

I watched Taichi reach out and brush the hair out of her eyes gently and willed my strength to him.

"I'm going to move to Matt's tonight, Kari, and Sora said you can come stay with her tonight – and after you're done at Miyako's, too."

She looked around him at Sora, who nodded in affirmation, then back to her big brother. "Okay. Um…thanks Sora, but…why?"

"I don't like leaving you alone to deal with Mom, Kari. She's…not going to be happy when I tell her I'm leaving tonight, and you don't know just how difficult she's really been lately."

Hikari frowned as we left the elevator and began walking toward their apartment complex. "I know she's been a little overprotective lately and that she's been hounding you for a lot of things, but..."

"That's because I've been deflecting her away from you." Taichi looked away, shoving his hands in his pockets and kicking at a stone on the sidewalk. "She didn't want you to go to Miyako's at all but I threatened to let Meko use both our cell phones as cat toys if she didn't let you go."

Hikari was torn between a giggle and a scowl. Meko, their pet cat, loved shiny things and tended to swipe them and use them for toys – and usually the feline would abscond with the items outside and lose them someplace.

"Is it really that bad, Taichi?" Takeru asked, looking very unhappy at the idea.

"Well, you may just see for yourself when we get there." Taichi's expression darkened, and I moved up to walk a little closer to him in silent support. "She won't be happy, and I can't deflect this time. I don't have it in me anymore."

"It'll be alright, Taichi." Sora tried reassuring him. "With all the rest of us there, she probably won't do much."

"We can hope." He mumbled, but not loud enough for the others to hear. Standing as close as I was, _I_ heard, and I gave his shoulder a brief squeeze.

"No matter what, Tai, I'm here with you. Takeru and Sora, too." I whispered. We were approaching his building, and under my hand, I could feel the tension in him increase.

"Why didn't you say anything earlier, Taichi?" Hikari wanted to know. She didn't sound angry with him about it, but her tone was on the annoyed side. "Maybe I could have helped somehow."

"I didn't because…because I hoped it was just a phase that would pass. Because when I realized it _wasn't_ a phase, I didn't want her ruining your hard-won happiness." Taichi paused outside the building and faced her, hands in his pockets. "And because I'm your older brother and I was trying to protect you, whether or not you really needed it. I'm sorry, Kari…it's just what I do."

"Oh, Tai…" she sniffed and slipped into his arms, hugging him tightly for a long moment. When she let him go, she clasped his hand and squeezed as she spoke – and for one brief second, I had an image of them as their younger, pre-teen selves when I'd first gotten to know them flash across my memory's sight.

"We'll go up there, and we'll get our things as quickly as we can, and then we'll leave." Hikari declared decisively. "But most importantly we'll be together."

Taichi smiled softly and very gently tucked her hair behind her ear. "You've grown up on me, Kari. Sometimes I have to remind myself of that. You know I'm proud of you, right?"

"I know." She replied with a brilliant smile.

He looked up at each of us, ending with me, and I gave him a solemn but from nod. I could see the grim determination in his molten brown eyes, and I hoped he could see in mine that I would stand up for him if he needed it.

Taichi turned and led us indoors, moving to the elevators purposefully. It was silent on the way up. I don't think Sora knew what more she could say, and I don't think Takeru knew _what_ he could say at all. But he'd be there for Hikari, guarding her as he always has, no matter what.

We filed into the apartment quietly. As we removed our shoes, Taichi glanced at his sister and gave her a nod. She nodded back, and after breathing deeply in preparation, she raised her voice to call out, "We're home, Mom! Dad!" in a cheerful voice that was obviously false but a damned good attempt to pretend.

I heard footsteps hurrying from the living room and their mother appeared in the doorway to the kitchen from the entrance of the apartment. "Hikari! Taichi! You…oh." Mrs. Yagami stopped immediately upon seeing Sora, Takeru, and I. I watched as she visibly swallowed back whatever she was going to say to her children and put on an even more false cheeriness than Hikari's tone had been. "Hello, kids. I didn't know you were coming over tonight."

"Don't worry." Taichi grunted, bracing himself by crossing his arms and planting his feet. "They aren't staying long. Go on, Kari. Takeru and Sora can help you while I talk to Mom."

"Okay." Hikari, in a uncharacteristically meek way, obeyed without another word, taking my brother and Sora with her. Sora hesitated at the hall entrance way, glancing over her shoulder.

"You sure, Taichi?" She asked.

"Positive." Taichi said in steely determination. Her eyes flicked to me, and I waved her away. She gave me a nod and disappeared, trusting me to take care of him – as if I _wouldn't_.

"_What_ is going on, Taichi?" Mrs. Yagami asked, and I could practically hear her teeth grinding with the effort to remain collected and calm in front of me.

"I'm leaving, Mom. Tonight, I'm moving in with Matt for a while until I get a job and can afford my own place. And Hikari is going to stay at Sora's." he bravely stared right at her as he dropped the news on her, and I shifted anxiously, anticipating her reaction to be unpleasant.

"You're what?! No you are _not!_" Mrs. Yagami ground out, stepping up close to him until she was nose to nose with her son. "I forbid it! You have been insolent, inconsiderate, disrespectful, and disobedient for weeks now Yagami Taichi, and I will not stand for it! You will kindly ask your friends to leave, and you will go to your room! You are _grounded_, young man, until…"

He cut her off. "**_No_**. I am not, and I will not. You listen to me, mother, because I'm not repeating myself again – we are leaving until you realize we are not little children that require your extreme over-protectiveness and the way you've been smothering us. We are leaving until you begin to treat us like the young adults we are, with the respect that we deserve in return for the respect we've always had for _you_." Taichi's hands dropped to his sides and fisted, showing just how tight his control on his temper was – yet leaking out in his voice despite that. I moved to lean against the wall next to him, not touching him but close enough that he knew I was there. Mrs. Yagami's eyes flicked to me and I watched her unflinchingly when she glared.

"What have you said to my son that has drove him to this?" She demanded in a clearly angry and blameful tone. "He's always around you so you must have done or said something!"

There was a very distinct, very threatening warning growl that came from my best friend, and I winced for _her_ sake. No one – **_no one_** – threatens any one of his friends, not even his own mother. Taichi would and has gone from relative calm and control to rage and vengeance in the blink of an eye when that happens.

"Don't you dare blame Matt or any of my friends for this." He snapped, warm brown eyes flashing and running solid, stone-cold granite in fury. "Don't you dare."

Okay…time to leave.

"Taichi." I stepped between them and faced him, grabbing him by the shoulders and forcing him to look me dead in the eye. "Let's get your stuff and get going, alright? We still have to walk the girls back to Sora's and it's getting late. You hear?"

I watched him gain control and reign in his emotions before I let him go, then followed him to his bedroom, pushing past his mother to do so.

In the bedroom – where Sora and Takeru were watching Hikari pack up what she felt she would need for a while (she and Taichi still shared a room, even though there was one spare room in the apartment one of them could have claimed)- I saw that Taichi really did have most of his things packed. And for a teenager, he really didn't have all that much stuff.

"You nearly ready, Kari?" He asked her in a gentle voice, though somewhat strained. He went to his desk and began clearing off his school stuff and what not into his school bag.

"Yes. I didn't have much else to pack that I hadn't already for Miyako's." Hikari replied, pretending she didn't hear the tone at all. She zipped up her lone suitcase, picked up her school bag, and allowed Takeru to take her one other piece of luggage – a small canvas carry-on suitcase. "I'm ready!"

At that point their mother pretty much barged in, blocking the door. "I forbid you to leave this apartment! The both of you! Hikari, put those bags down this minute!"

Now I'd had enough. Even Hikari was beginning to look like she wanted to slap her mother. I laid a hand on Taichi's arm before he could say a word, taking charge myself.

"Keep packing, Tai." I said firmly. "Sora, you and Takeru take Hikari downstairs. We'll be right there and we'll meet you outside."

Sora nodded, and when Mrs. Yagami refused to move out of the way, we were all reminded of just how tough the Child of Love could really be when provoked. Quite firmly and insistently, Sora pushed the woman aside so Takeru could escape with Hikari, and before she released Mrs. Yagami she spoke in a low, warning tone I'd rarely heard her use.

"Mrs. Yagami, if you ever want to repair the damage that's obviously been done to your relationship with Taichi and Hikari, you will take my advice: you will let them go, and give them the space they need – that you need, too – to calm and figure the situation out. You know where they will be, and that they'll be safe, healthy, and out of trouble, and for now that will have to do because this time you really have no choice."

Then Sora was out the door and gone.

Taichi's mother stared after her in shock. I don't think she's ever had anyone talk to her like that before.

Taichi and I took advantage and grabbed his two bags, one suitcase, and one box of belongings, somewhat roughly pushing our way past Mrs. Yagami who just stood there stunned.

We stopped in the porch area to slip into our shoes and when we looked up she was there, tears in her eyes but an expression that was hard and almost hateful on her face.

"If you leave, Taichi, don't come back. You obviously have no respect for your own mother, to allow someone you call a friend to speak that way to me, and to ignore me when I have expressly forbidden you to do something – and dragged your sister into it!"

I could not believe she just said that. I felt Taichi stiffen beside me, and I turned to him in dire concern – just in time to see all hope of fixing things and the knowledge that he was completely on his own hit him. Hard.

"Come on, Tai. Hikari is waiting for you." I directed him out the door with a gentle shove and turned to glare with all the iciness of my patented, full-blown Ishida Yamato death-glare.

"I never in a million years would have believed you could be so blind, callous, and cold, Mrs. Yagami. I think you had better re-think the entire situation and look at how you've been handling your children the last little while, because you just lost them." I paused, letting that sink in. "They loved you. But you have smothered them with your fears and paranoia. You have no one to blame but yourself."

I left her standing there, slamming the door behind me.

Taichi was standing at the elevators, leaning forward with his head buried in his arms which rested against the wall. I hurried over to him and dropped the bags I carried.

"Hey." I murmured, slowly curling an arm around his shoulders from the side. "You going to be alright, Tai?"

"I…I don't know." I could feel his whole body shudder under the weight of his emotions. "I…Yama, what just happened?" He raised his head and looked at me, pleading with his eyes to tell him it wasn't true.

I did the only thing I could. I pulled him roughly into my arms and hugged him hard. I closed my eyes against the harsh sob that was muffled by my shoulder where Taichi buried his face and wrapped his arms around me so tightly I almost could breathe. But air was unimportant to me just then. I'd stop breathing if it meant eliminating even an ounce of Taichi's pain.

I held him for a good while, letting him vent that pain through tears. But I knew the others were waiting for us, so I left one arm around his waist and tenderly threaded my fingers through his wild mane of hair.

"We have to go, Tai. You need to pull it together for a little while longer, okay? For Hikari." I murmured into his ear. "You can do it, Tai. I'll be there to help you, every step."

He nodded against my shoulder jerkily and after a minute inhaled a deep, shuddering sigh before releasing me from his vice-like grip.

Taichi shook himself and nodded again. "I'm okay. I can do this. Let's go, Yama."

I was so proud of him for that.

I reached out and gently wiped away his tears from his cheeks then pushed the elevator button. "You can." I agreed. "It'll all be fine, Tai. In the end, everything will all work out somehow."

He leaned against the elevator wall as we descended and chuckled a little. "I think you're channeling Takeru, Yama."

I smiled and shrugged. "Maybe. It's been known to happen." I sobered and asked quietly. "What will you tell her, Tai?"

He closed his eyes and sighed tiredly. "The truth…eventually. Maybe not tonight, but soon. I just don't feel up to dealing with it right now."

"I don't blame you. And I'm sure your sister will understand, Tai. She loves you."

He smiled, a genuine Taichi smile. "Yeah."

And I knew he'd be alright.

The others were waiting for us just inside the doors of the lobby area. I met Sora's inquiring, concerned eyes and gave her a near imperceptible shake of my head. She must have understood because her face fell and she draped a protective, caring arm around Hikari's shoulders as she tried to pretend things weren't as bad as they were for the sake of the Child of Light – and the Child of Courage.

"Well, I think it's high time we al got going!" Sora steered Hikari toward the exit, leading the way. Takeru picked up the stuff he was carrying for Hikari and hurried after them with an easy smile. I knew he would take care of Hikari so I devoted myself to keeping an eye on her older brother.

"Come on, Tai." I tilted my head at him and gave him my best reassuring smile. "We'll drop off the girls and head home. I don't know about you, but I'm exhausted."

"Yeah." Taichi agreed and we followed after our siblings and Sora at an easy pace. He glanced at me as we walked. "How are you feeling, Yama? Still okay?"

I blinked. "Hey, man, I'm fine. Like I said, Too much ice cream last night and roller coasters don't mix." I looked over at him, wishing my hands weren't full. "For once, Taichi, don't worry about the rest of us, alright? It's okay to worry about yourself sometimes, too."

He sighed. "I know. I can't help it. It's what I do."

I chuckled a little. "We know, fearless leader. And we wouldn't have you any other way."

* * *

We dropped Sora and Hikari off at Sora's place. Hikari knew something was up because she hugged Taichi so hard I thought I could hear his ribs cracking.

"Phone me whenever you want to, Hikari." He said, rubbing her back soothingly. "Anytime. And try not to give Sora and her mom a hard time."

"Taichi!" She scolded him, choking back a laugh that was full of tears. "I wouldn't! And _you_ phone _me_ anytime alright? For anything. I'll see you soon, too."

"Of course." He kissed her on the cheek and gently pushed her toward Sora. "Go on, now, Kari."

"Good night, guys." Sora gave us a short wave. "Don't worry, Taichi. I'll talk to mom about it and everything will be fine. I'll talk to you soon, alright?"

"Yeah. And thanks again, Sora." Taichi waved back. "I owe you big for this."

"No, Taichi. You don't. Good night!" She went inside before he could complain or disagree further.

Takeru stretched and yawned, glancing at me. "You sure you don't mind me coming over tonight, Matt? I could come some other time…" his eyes flicked to Taichi then back to me.

I thought about it briefly and sighed. "It's your home, too, Takeru. I can't kick you out if you want to stay, but…"

"Hey. I totally understand! I don't mind, Matt." He grinned at me. "I wouldn't mind having the house to myself for a night or two anyway." Takeru leaned closer to me as we walked behind Taichi – lost in thought – to keep him from hearing. "Besides, I think Taichi needs some time to unwind and stuff after tonight. I'd just be in the way, and he wouldn't let himself show how much this is affecting him around me."

Sometimes I forget how observant and intelligent my baby brother really is. He can often see and recognize things in people they can't in themselves, and in this case he was bang on in his assessment of our goggle-headed leader (even if he doesn't wear the goggles anymore).

I nodded and murmured back, "Thanks, Keru. I'll make it up to you, I promise."

He waved that away. "Forget it. What he needs right now not one of us can give him – except you. So do what you're best at, Matt, and take care of Taichi where he can't – or won't – do so for himself."

Before I could ask exactly what he meant by that first part, he hiked his bag over his shoulder and jogged up to Taichi to glomp him – just a little, since he was still carrying that box.

"I changed my mind, Taichi. I think I'll come stay at Dad's some other night, so I'll say good night here and head home to Mom's, okay?" Takeru hugged Taichi awkwardly, avoiding the box. "Things will work out, so don't give up."

"You don't have to…thanks, Takeru." Taichi cut himself off at the determined look on my brother's face, thanking him instead. "Just…thanks."

"No problem. 'Night, guys!" He waved and left us at the corner, heading for his building that was just down the street.

"Well, a couple more blocks and we'll be home." I announced cheerfully, crossing the street and forcing Taichi to hurry after me.

"Hey, Yama…he didn't have to go back to your Mom's, you know. I wouldn't have minded him being around." Taichi frowned. "Was it something I said?"

I rolled my eyes. _Sometimes you're completely clueless, Yagami_. I shook my head at him. "No, Tai. He just felt you might need some time so he'll come later this week or some other time instead."

"But…I…" he snapped his mouth shut, avoiding looking at me directly.

"What? Spit it out, Tai."

"I…don't want to be an imposition." He mumbled, looking down hard at t he top of the box, appearing to be somewhat ashamed. I scowled at him, a little annoyed even though I knew he would feel that way.

"Yagami Taichi, do not _ever_ say that again." I ordered. Startled, he stared at me.

"But…"

"_No_. You are never ever an imposition on any of us. Not ever. And _especially_ not on _me_. So kindly refrain from insulting me, if you please." We were approaching my building, and I marched toward the lobby doors, shoes sounding loud against the pavement of the sidewalk as each step accentuated my words.

Taichi trailed after me, chastened. The elevator ride upstairs was quiet, in a companionable way. Besides, I was sure the Child of Courage was mulling over things in his head. He had a lot to think about. Truth be told, so did I. My brain was still trying to wrap around the things that the fortune teller alluded to that afternoon – and the things I was coming up with on my own.

I loved him. Of course I did. My best friend, my leader – of course I loved him. But now I wondered if that love had grown to be something else, something more.

We got off the elevator and I led the way to my apartment door, unlocking it and letting us in. "Home sweet home." I commented lightly, flicking on the light switch. "Let's see…how about we put your stuff in my room for now, and I'll find the spare futon and bedding for you." I glanced over my shoulder at him as he followed me down the short hallway to my room. We put his stuff down in one corner of the room, next to the closet, and I tried to remember where Dad and I had stashed the spare futon and everything the last time we'd cleaned. "I'd put you in Takeru's room, but it's a mess yet from the last time he stayed over, and I think Dad's still got his office temporarily set up in there." I apologized.

"Don't worry, Yama. I don't mind being on a futon on your floor, or the couch or wherever. I…just really appreciate that you're letting me crash here." Taichi fiddled with the tie on his track-pants, staring at the floor.

I huffed and dropped my hands onto his shoulders to give him a slight shake. "Hey! What did I tell you before? Don't even, Tai."

He looked up at me and nodded in apology. "Yeah. Sorry, Yama. I'm trying."

I nodded and looked around, studying my room and contemplating what could be moved, cleaned up or thrown out to make room for him. I began cleaning my room, making space on the floor to put the futon.

"Who knew Meticulous Matt would have such a messy bedroom." Tai commented, watching me in amusement.

"Ha. Ha." I dusted off my hands. "There. Now, let me go search for that futon and bedding." I moved out of the room, thinking aloud. "I think it's still in Takeru's room…"

I found it rolled up in the closet in that room. Taichi helped me set it up and I dropped pillows and blankets on it for him.

"Well, all set until Dad gets back and cleans all that junk of his out of there." I yawned and stretched lazily. "I don't suppose you're hungry after that huge meal we had at the restaurant, but do you want anything?"

"No. Thanks anyway, Yama. But, could I use your shower?" He asked.

"Of course. Towels…" I slipped out and fetched a couple from the hall linen closet. "Here you go. While you're doing that, I'm going to clean up my mess in the kitchen." I handed him the towels, our hands briefly brushing and setting off little warm thrills over my skin. I fought not to turn pink and hastily retreated. "Yell if you need anything else, Tai!" I called over my shoulder.

I went through the motions of tidying and filling the kitchen sink with hot soapy water to do my dishes, all the while muttering to myself about my stupid, hormonal reactions to Taichi. He didn't need me to drool all over him, especially right now.

I scowled at the dishwater and scrubbed vigorously with unnecessary force. Why oh why did I have to figure this out about how I felt _now?_ When I can't do a damn thing about it without feeling like a heel and that I'm taking advantage somehow?

I heard the water turn off in the bathroom just as I unplugged the sink in the kitchen. I would just let the clean dishes air dry tonight. My brain – and my body – just needed to shut off for a while.

Walking back into my room, I stifled a yawn and dug out something to wear to bed. I usually just slept in my underwear, but _that_ wasn't a good idea anymore. I was in the middle of changing, my shirt on the floor and my pants undone and hanging off my hips, when Taichi walked into the room.

Holy Angemon…in a towel and nothing else.

Dripping little droplets of water everywhere like crystal shards.

I made myself dizzy turning around so fast, trying to hide the blush and the non-friend-like expression I'm sure was on my face. "H-have a good shower?" I inquired lamely. I failed miserably at sounding nonchalant about it all.

There was a pause, then his reply came in a slightly puzzled tone of voice. "Yeah, thanks. I forgot my clothes when I went in there. Uh…" I could hear him shuffling through his suitcase, and grabbed the tank top from my bed, slipping it on hastily over my head.

"Something wrong?" I asked, giving him a glance over my shoulder. He was staring at me, and for once I couldn't read his expression.

"I was going to ask you that, Yama. You've been acting strange since this afternoon – since about the time you came out of the fortune teller's booth." Taichi tilted his head at me, studying me closely.

Uh oh. Now what was I going to do?

* * *

**Kali Notes:** Thanks everyone for reading! And for your patience with my lack of posting… I hope you all enjoyed this chapter! **Please R/R!!!!**

**Relevant Episodes: **Season 01, episodes 31-33 (Meko steals Hikari's digivice during the hunt for the eighth Child).


	5. Chapter 5

**Kali Notes:** Hey all! I'm still alive! I just took a month off to get my papers and various class-related projects out of the way. But now that I only have one paper and a presentation left, then finals, I'm feeling a little more relaxed and ready to write! So, here's the next installment.

**Warnings:**Yaoi, adult language, adult situations, and probably WAFF enough to give one cavities.

**Disclaimer:** _checks_ Nope. Still don't own it! Go jump in a swamp, lawyers.

**Pairings:** Taito! _squeals_ And DaiKen, Takari, and mentioning of Joe/Mimi, Izzy/Miyako.

* * *

_**Chapter 05**_

As Daisuke once wisely claimed: when in doubt, deny, deny, deny.

"I think its just been such a weird day, that's all." I replied to his subtle question of 'what the hell is up with you lately?' His eyebrow went up. "Everything's off, you know?"

There was a pregnant pause of silence behind me, and I winced, hastily whirling around with a rather panicky, apologetic expression on my face. "Oh! Tai, man that was stupid of me! I'm sorry, I…"

He actually laughed at me. Well, okay, it was more of a humorous chuckle, but still. He leaned against the wall by the door, his arms full of his pajamas. "It's okay, Yama. Honest. I do know what you meant and not…well, not me. I was just trying to decide if I buy that lame excuse or not. You're not easily flustered, and lately that's exactly what you have been."

I sighed, dropping down to my bed in relief. Partly. At least I hadn't inadvertently stuck both feet in my mouth. Unfortunately, I wasn't as convincing as I wanted to be. That's the last time I take Daisuke's advice. "Really, Tai. There's nothing weird going on. I wasn't feeling so well today, and I've been worrying about you and Hikari, and…the usual teenaged angst crap, I guess." There. Maybe that would put him off my trail.

Taichi, gave me a curious look, then shrugged. "I'll be right back. We'll talk more when I'm not leaving a wet spot on your floor." He disappeared out the door and I blinked, rubbing at my face to try and get rid of the heat turning my face red yet again. While Taichi was gone I hurried to get into the pajama bottoms I would wear to bed.

I cursed when I had them on, though. They were way too small for me, since the last time I'd worn them had probably been at least a couple of years ago. Shit! What was I going to do now? I decided to go immediately the next day to find some pajamas.

"Uh…Yama? I think you need new pajamas." Taichi's amused voice made me scowl.

"Yeah, thanks. Hadn't noticed." I growled flatly and peeled them off. "Crap."

He snickered again and shook his head. "Want to borrow a pair of my jogging pants? They might be a little big on you, but at least they won't cut off your circulation." He tossed a pair of black sweat pants at me and I obediently put them on.

"Thanks. I'll have to go buy something else tomorrow." I stood and ran my fingers through my air, pulling the covers on my bed back and slipping between the sheets. Taichi flopped down on the futon the floor.

"Yeah. So this 'teenage angst crap' you mentioned...what's that about? Something I could help with?" Taichi asked, tilting his head inquiringly.

"Nah. It'll go away eventually." Probably not, but he didn't need to know I was lying through my teeth. "Mostly I'm worried about you and your sister."

Taichi laid on his back, tucking his arms under his head on the pillow. "Hikari will be fine. I'll do everything I can to make sure of it."

"Yeah, but what about you?" I asked softly, tucking my pillow under my head so I could lie on my side and see him. "Tai…what _she_ said…she was angry and irrational. I don't think she really meant it. When she cools off and realizes what she's done, I'm sure…"

"No, Yama." Taichi halted my attempts to make things seem fixable. "I know her. She meant it. I…can't say I want to go back anyway. I haven't felt at home there since…the last time we were in the Digital World finishing what we started against Myotismon."

"How do you mean?"

"It didn't feel like I belonged there anymore. I'm still trying to figure that out."

"Well, I think we all went through that somewhat after we got back." I reasoned, thinking about it. "I felt...disjointed, like I didn't quite fit in with everyone else around me." I admitted slowly. Taichi turned his head to look at me with interest and recognition.

"Did it ever go away?"

"Not really. It's still there, but it has…lessened a lot over time." I shrugged. "I asked Izzy once about it. He said it isn't a strange occurrence. I guess it happens to soldiers frequently after long and violent conflicts. Izzy gave me the example of WWI when he told me about it."

"Really? That sounds right, if you think about it." Taichi nodded, looking around somewhat relieved that he hadn't been slowly losing his mind without a reason. "Especially us older kids, and our siblings. We were just kids, and we were frequently fighting life and death battles for years."

"Yeah. Exactly. Izzy said when those surviving soldiers in WWI went home, they had a lot of trouble adjusting to regular, peaceful lives. Many didn't adjust and went crazy."

Taichi shivered. "That's freaky. How is it that we're not insane?"

"Probably because we were all so young. Kids adjust easier to changes in lifestyles than adults do. Partly because our lives are already always shifting with just growing up, but also partly because sometimes we don't know we're supposed to be upset or depressed or whatever. Kids tend to look at the world in a much simpler light than adults."

"That's true. At least we all have each other." Taichi sighed deeply. "The world may forget about the Digital World and the things that happened, but we never will."

"No. As long as we still are allowed, as long as we have our Digivices, we'll keep going back." I agreed. "There's still things we can do to fix the damages done, after all."

"Yeah."

"at the risk of channeling my little brother, I think things will work out somehow, Tai. I know it's easy to say it, but...it's still how I feel about it." I reached out and clicked off the lamp, giving my best friend as reassuring a smile as I could manage.

"I'm trying to believe it, too, Yama. I…just need more time to absorb it all, you know?" He sighed again and pulled his covers up over himself while I settled in comfortably in my own bed.

"Get some sleep, Tai." I advised, yawning. "You can come help me shop for pajamas tomorrow, if you want." I heard a rather dubious snort and glared down at him over the edge of the mattress. "What?"

"You're asking the wrong shopping partner, that's what. You are so metro, Yama, and shop like Mimi and Miyako on a sugar high with gold credit cards." The ass snickered at me and I huffed, insulted, rolling over on my other side to give him my back. "Oh, come on. You always look good so it's worth it, right? I'm just saying I'd be useless to you shopping." I heard him rustling around but didn't turn over, still miffed. Then his voice came from somewhere behind me – sounding awfully close.

"Yama…I wasn't insulting you…Yama? Matt? Ya-ma-to!"

"God! Quit whining, Taichi!" I caved and flipped over, coming face to face with him. He knelt by my bed, resting his chin on his folded arms, batting big, beautiful brown eyes at me. "Ah!" I yelped and reared back, and he lifted his head grinning at me. How could I stay annoyed with that endearing expression. "Damn it, Tai! You're going to drive me crazy!"

He gave me a fake pout. "I really didn't mean it like that…I was just trying to say I wouldn't be a good person to take with you shopping."

I blew out a breath in a huff. "I know, I know. I'm just going for pajamas, Tai. It's not like I'm picking clothes for my next gig." I smirked. "For that I'd take one of the girls with me. _You_ have no sense of fashion."

"Aww…you don't think track pants are fashionable?" He teased me. I was glad it was dark and he couldn't see me blush – because those track pants suited him just fine, in my opinion.

"For a soccer game, yes. Outside a stadium or of the field, no." I replied, instead of telling him what I _really_ thought of Taichi in track pants. Dead sexy.

"I must be a great disappointment to you, oh wise style guru." Taichi laid back down and curled back up under the covers. "Goodnight, Yama."

I smiled to myself. _No, Taichi. You are anything but a disappointment to me._ I told him silently. "Goodnight, Tai."

* * *

The sound of a phone ringing woke me up the next morning. It was Taichi's cell, to the tune of the theme from one of his favorite animes. When it kept ringing, I sat up and looked around blearily. "Taichi?" He wasn't in the room, and his futon was neatly piled in the corner out of the way. "Where'd he go?"

Another phone started ringing a few seconds after his cell stopped ringing, and this time it was my cell phone. I grabbed it off my desk and answered gruffly, "Ishida."

"Matt!" Hikari's voice woke me up the rest of the way. "I'm sorry, did I wake you up?"

"Ah…kinda…" I glanced at my alarm clock and blinked. "But I should be up anyway so it's okay. What's up?"

"Is my brother okay? He's not answering his D-terminal or his cell phone."

"Um…last I saw he was fine. He left both in my room, Hikari, and probably doesn't know you're trying to reach him. Hold up." I went out to the living room and found her brother doing sit ups on the floor while a university soccer game raged on TV. I watched for a moment dumbly, mesmerized by his lack of a shirt, those damn track pants, the movement of muscle as he moved, little beads of sweat trickling off him…

I shook myself and wiped the drool off my chin. "Taichi…"

He paused in mid-sit up. "Oh! You're up! I didn't wake you up did I?"

I laughed. "You sound like your sister. She's trying to call but you left your cell and stuff in my room so you didn't hear it ring." I held out my phone. "She called me looking for you."

Taichi rolled to his feet and took it from me. "Oops! Sorry, pal. Thanks." He spoke into the cell. "Kari? Hey, sorry about that. No, I'm in the living room." He laughed and winked at me. "Nah, he was being lazy and sleeping late anyway." I rolled my eyes and left him to talk to Hikari, going to the kitchen to scrounge up something for breakfast.

Yawning and half-listening in, I decided toast was good enough and popped bread slices into the toaster. "Taichi? You eat yet?" I called.

His bushy head of hair popped up from the sofa. "Not really, no. What are you making?"

"Toast." I yawned again. "Want?"

"Please." Taichi looked back at the TV screen. "So you're on your way to Miayko's?" He asked his sister, returning to their conversation. "Yeah, alright. No, I'll be here. Matt, too. He wants to buy pajamas but we can do that later."

I blinked and looked down at myself, remembering then that I was wearing Taichi's sweat pants. They were baggy on me, and sagged dangerously off my hips. Not awake enough – or energetic enough – to care, I shrugged and looked for something to put on our toast.

"Are you alright, Kari?" I heard him inquire gently. "no, I'm fine. Really!" He sighed. "Yes, I'm lying but I will be fine. I'll tell you about it when you get here. Yeah…okay. See you later." Taichi hung up and sat silently on the couch, staring off into space, blindly. Frowning, I left the toast on plates and went back to the living room.

"What's up?" I asked, dropping down onto the sofa next to him.

Taichi snapped out of a daze and glanced at me. "Oh. Hikari is stopping by on her way to Miyako's. She said she had something to talk to me about."

I slipped an arm around his shoulders. "Something happen?"

"I don't know. She said Sora was walking with her here on her way to tennis practice, that's it." Taichi leaned forward, his head burying itself in his hands. "She knows something's up with me. I…I'll have to tell her what Mom…said."

I nodded and squeezed his shoulders. "It'll be alright. I'll be right here with you, Tai."

He sat up and turned to me, a small, sad little smile gracing his face and my heart ached for him. "I know. There's nothing I can ever say or do to tell you how much I appreciate you, Yama. I…don't deserve you, but I'm so glad you're around."

"Taichi…what do you mean 'you don't deserve' me? You're my best friend." I grabbed his hands in mine and gripped them hard. "There's nothing I wouldn't do for you, Tai! After all we've been through together, do you think I would just sit by while you're hurting? I couldn't do it, Taichi!"

He moved into my arms, burying his face in my neck and wrapping his arms around me. "What would I do without you?" I heard mumbled. All I could do was hold him to me and try to make him laugh. I ran my fingers through his hair and replied dryly, "Fail at life in general?"

Success! He gave a choked snicker and snuggled against me – uh…not that I minded but…

"There's that ego of yours that I love so much – when it doesn't annoy me." He let his head rest on my shoulder, seeming to be perfectly content where he was. I was awake now, and becoming more and more aware of everything about him. I'd hoped that after a good night's sleep things would set themselves right again and I wouldn't be so jumpy and twitchy around him. Fat lot I know. Here we were, on my sofa, cuddled up like the lovers we were _not_. He wasn't wearing a shirt, he was warm and tanned and gorgeous…

"Hey, Yama…"

"Hmm…?" I made a noise, not really registering that he was talking to me again. I was absorbed in the feeling of him pressed against me, the smooth skin stretched over his lean, athletic muscles, and the scent of him called to me somehow. I turned my head a little, just enough to borrow my nose into his hair and inhale deeply, letting it out on a quiet sigh.

"About yesterday…with the fortune teller lady…"

That snapped me back to reality. I couldn't help stiffening up and pulling back some. "Wha…what about it?" I tried to sound nonchalant though I'm sure I failed miserably.

"I asked her two questions and her answers got me thinking about some things."

Oh. Okay. As long as he wasn't going to ask me about what she'd told _me_, I could breathe again. "Only two questions? No wonder it didn't take you long." I commented. "What did you ask?"

"I asked…if the person I loved would ever return that love someday, and she told me they would but…that I had to be patient and let them figure it out for themselves." He laughed and the tone was self-mocking. "Me? Patient? Right."

There was a great deal of white noise and buzzing in my ears, and my heart was clenching painfully in my chest. He…loved someone? Taichi was in love? And he'd never said a thing to me about it at all. I struggled to keep from turning a very nasty shade of green at the jealousy that streaked through me at the _idea_ of anyone else where _I_ wanted to be – even if I'd only just figured that out for myself. "Uh huh. And the second question?" I managed to get out evenly, going very still. If Taichi noticed the change in me, he was ignoring it because he didn't move away or give any indication that he noticed.

"Oh, that was about soccer. I asked if I was going to be good enough for a national team someday and she told me I was good enough _now_…I just had to wait for the opportunity." Now he looked up at me with a grin, and I had to relax a little.

"Ah. Well, I think any one of us could have answered that question, Tai. Especially Ken and Daisuke." I tilted my head at him, setting aside my jealousy in favour of getting more information about this mysterious person from Taichi – so I could find them and make them disappear. No way would I ever accept someone else as good enough for him. Not even myself. Unsurprisingly, I also felt guilty about it because I only wanted him to be happy. It was selfish of me to want to make whoever it was go away even though they could make him happy, but the guilt didn't change the fact that it was how I felt. "So that first question…who's the unlucky soul?" I teased, trying to hide how anxious and possessive I was feeling.

Taichi blushed bright red and scuttled away from me to the other end of the couch. I blinked, a little confused and a little hurt. "Tai? What'd I do?"

"Nothing!" He was quick to respond, waving his hands defensively at me. "It's just…well, I…you see…"

Amused, I folded my arms across my chest and regarded him with a snicker of my own. "Honestly…you'd think you were a love-struck school girl the way you're floundering and blushing."

"Shut up, Ishida!" Taichi scowled at me, pressing his palms to his cheeks and visibly willing them to stop being so red. "I am no such thing! It's just…I'm not sure I'm ready to say who it is yet."

"This is me you're talking to, Tai. Whoever it is, I'm not going to go around telling people about it." I huffed. "But if you're not ready then you're not ready and I won't push." I raised an eyebrow at him, thinking of one way I could at least find out a little bit more. "Just tell me one thing: girl or guy?"

He stared at me, jaw dropping open. It would have been funny if I hadn't been serious. "You…what?"

"It's an easy question, Taichi. If you're worried I'm going to think less of you because of something like that then you haven't been paying attention." I felt heat crawl up my neck and looked away, pretending to look at the clock on the wall. That…had come out before I'd really thought about what I was saying.

"Matt…are you trying to tell me you're…gay? No wait." Taichi was moving down the couch closer to me again, looking a little _too_ interested in my answer. Oh…shit. What _had_ I gotten myself into? "Bi? You like girls – I've seen that – but, guys, too?"

Feeling really ridiculous and rather embarrassed, I gave a short nod. "So?" I demanded shortly. "It doesn't change who I was five minutes ago."

"Not saying that!" Taichi rushed to assure me. "I swear! Same old Yama. I just…wow, you know? I suspected but never knew…"

That shocked me a bit. Was I obvious? "You suspected?" I repeated mechanically.

"Well, you know…I know you so well, Yama, and I probably see things most want." Taichi reached out and grasped my hand and even though my instinct was to pull away, I passively let him keep it.

"How did we get on me? You didn't answer my question." I wanted off this topic – pronto.

"I don't say 'I'm not ready' because I'm afraid of how you'll react, Yama. I swear. I just…haven't figured out for myself if how I think I feel really is love or if I'm just…being hopeful." He looked down at our hands. "And I don't know what to do about it all anyway, so there's no reason to really discuss it."

"Well if you tell me then maybe I can help." I glanced at him, shivering as his thumb idly moved across the back of my hand in an absent way. I don't think he realized what he was doing. He was always an affectionate, friendly person, but lately some of the things he did had been on the edge of 'friendly' and bordered on affectionate of a different sort – which just confused the hell out of me even more.

When he looked at me this time, our eyes met and locked. It seemed very much like he was trying to tell me something silently in those bright, brown eyes but I couldn't read them one bit.

"I…promise to tell you soon, Yama. I just need a little more time to think. Okay?" He flushed. "But I will answer your question, since I think you already know just by how I reacted."

"It's a guy." I blew out a breath and mentally banged my head against a brick wall. On the bright side, at least when I beat the guy into the ground I wouldn't have to feel guilty about hitting a girl – which I _wouldn't_ do, even if I am that jealous. Oh forget it. I'm so messed up at the moment I don't even make sense to myself. "Fine. Thanks for at least telling me that much."

"Matt…" Taichi watched me get up and walk toward the kitchen. "I'm sorry. I really am."

"It's fine." I sighed and picked up the two plates with our toast on them, setting them on the island countertop that served as the table for Dad and I. "I get why you're not ready to say anything. I'm just…disappointed." I so couldn't tell him it was because I was turning into an ugly green monster, after all. "When you are…I'll be here to listen."

"Still. I'm sorry." Taichi came over and sat on the stool across from me, hanging his head. "Thanks for the toast."

I shrugged. "I'd have made something more substantial but we need groceries pretty badly. Maybe we should get a few things when I get my pajamas later."

He nodded and went to work on his toast. "Sounds like a plan to me."

And that settled that. Some silent agreement had been reached that we'd both let the topic drop. At least I knew that a relationship beyond our friendship wouldn't be completely outside the realm of possibility.

Maybe. If things didn't work out with the other person. Who was I kidding? I didn't really know _what_ was going on in my head or heart anymore than Taichi said he did with himself.

Poking at my toast unhappily now that any appetite I'd had evaporated, I shoved my last piece of toast at Taichi and got up. "Here. I'm going to take a shower before your sister gets here."

Taichi blinked and swallowed. "Okay…" I could feel his eyes on me as I left, and there was concern in his voice. "Yama?"

I paused and looked back, though I really didn't want to. "Yeah?"

"Are you…okay?"

"Yeah. Fine. Eat your toast, Tai." I turned away again, lying through my teeth. I don't think he believed me, but he didn't call me on it, which surprised me a little. He usually did. Instead, he let me go silently.

* * *

After one of my patented long showers, I finally emerged fresh and clean and feeling a little more capable of facing my best friend normally again. Hikari had arrived sometime when I'd been in the shower, and when I stepped into the living room, I could tell things were not sunshine and flowers for the two siblings.

"Hi, Matt." Hikari greeted me quietly, in a subdued tone that had me instantly concerned.

"Hey." I responded, grabbing a seat on the armchair. "Things okay at Sora's?"

She nodded. "Her mom was very reasonable and very kind. She said I was welcome as long as I needed."

I smiled. That sounded like Mrs. Takenouchi. "Good."

"Now will you tell me what's going on, Kari?" Taichi asked impatiently. "I can tell something's up with you, so spill!"

"I could say the same thing to you, Taichi!" She gave him a hot glare and he flinched. "Why didn't you tell me last night what Mom said to you? I think I deserved to hear it from _you_."

I frowned and watched the colour drain out of Taichi's face. How had she found out about that?

"Kari…I was going to but…last night I didn't really want to believe it and…" Taichi bit his bottom lip and closed his eyes, looking away. "I didn't want to worry you more." He finished in a rather defeated voice.

Hikari sniffled and drew him into a hug. "You idiot! I want to know these things! I know you're used to taking everything on yourself, but Taichi…you can't always do that! Please don't act like I might break under a little stress when you know I won't!"

He held her tightly and I saw the shudder run through him. It made me ache for him, for both of them. I spoke up hesitantly, not sure intruding on the sibling moment would be welcomed.

"Don't be too hard on him, Hikari. He's telling the truth about how he didn't really understand what had happened yet. He just wanted to process it a little himself first before he told you."

Taichi's eyes met mine, liquid with unshed tears, silently thanking me. Hikari pulled away from him and wiped at her own eyes. "I know…it's just that we're supposed to be there for each other and how can I do that if he doesn't tell me things in time for me to help?"

"Believe me, I know what you mean. But we'll work on getting him to understand that, won't we, Hikari?" I smiled wryly and she giggled.

"Sure, Matt."

"Ah! I'm wounded! My best friend and little sister are ganging up on me!" Taichi clutched at his heart and fell back against the sofa with a melodramatic moan of agony. I rolled my eyes and Hikari grinned and smacked him on the knee.

"That's what you get!" She admonished teasingly – and at the same time seriously. "From now on, Taichi…please talk to us about these things – and everything! – instead of hoarding it?"

He sat up and clasped her hand, bringing it to his lips to brush a fleeting kiss over her knuckles. "I won't make promises, Kari, but…I'll try. I'm trying to do a lot of things."

She nodded. "Okay. That's all I can ask is that you try."

"How did you find out about what Mom said anyway?" Taichi asked, still holding her hand absently.

"I'd forgotten to take my software for my digital photos with me, and Sora and I went to get it earlier this morning. Mom wasn't there, but Dad was." She looked rather grim. "He got mad and demanded to know what we'd done to upset Mom so much. I guess when he got home from work last night he found her in hysterics."

Molten brown eyes hardened and I winced. "He didn't hassle you about staying at Sora's did he?"

"No." Hikari shook her head. "I got mad at him right back and told him exactly what was going on – as far as I knew – and he got this strange expression on his face, like he was partly very confused, partly resigned, and partly frustrated about it all. I don't think he really paid attention to how bad things have gotten with Mom, Taichi."

"Wouldn't surprise me. He's hardly ever home, and when he is and she does the overprotective mother thing, he just sees it as normal and that we're – _I'm_ – being disobedient and rebellious." Taichi ran fingers through his hair in agitation. "She must have told him that she'd kicked me out and he didn't understand why."

"I think so, too." His sister nodded sadly. "Taichi…I told him that I really didn't know exactly how bad things were, which was the truth, and he wants to talk to you. I think he's worried about Mom."

Taichi stood and went to stare out the balcony doors. I could feel the waves of emotion rolling off him, and had I been in his place, I could hear the questions _I'd_ be demanding answers to. Worry for his mother? That's fine, but what about his kids? What about the son that had just been expelled from his home and family? The daughter stuck in the middle unsure of what to do or say to help? Why does he even care when he's never home – job or not? Seeing that my best friend wasn't going to say anything for a bit, I turned to Hikari.

"So what did he say about you staying at Sora's?" I asked. She looked away from her bother to me.

"After I explained that Taichi had moved here to your place, Matt, and that he wanted me away from Mom until things could be worked out so I was staying at Sora's, he agreed that it was probably best for a while. But he wants to hear Taichi's side of it before he confronts Mom and decides what to do from there." Her gaze flickered back and forth between us. "He said as long as we continue going to school, keep our grades up, and all that then we could stay away as long as we needed to."

"I'm not going back." Taichi stated abruptly without turning to look back at us. "Not even if things get worked out. I'd decided that some time ago, Kari."

"What?" She sprang to her feet, surprised and saddened. "Why? Taichi…" Hikari cut herself off and chewed on her bottom lip at his expression as he turned, one that said he had made up his mind and there would be no changing it.

"I haven't belonged there for a very long time, Kari. It's been driving me crazy for years. I need…" he paused, collecting his thoughts. "I need to be on my own to find the place I _do_ belong, and to live in the independence that came with being Chosen."

Her eyes widened, and I could see she understood exactly what he meant. Of course she _would_. That little episode she herself had gone through that had nearly cost her all of her friends (meaning us Digidestined) had been in great part exactly about this. There had been other factors, but in essence Hikari had felt lost.

"Oh, Taichi!" Tears threatened to spill. "I had no idea you were going through this…"

He sighed and went to her, gathering her into his arms. "I know. It's okay, Kari. I was dealing with it fairly well until Mom…well. It just sped up my plans a little that's all. I'd intended before to move out after graduation and work during the summer – unless I got a scholarship, then I'd go straight to university and play for a university team while getting a higher education." He glanced at me. "That's why I was so hyped about that soccer camp Coach Hinamoto told us about a couple of weeks ago. He said there might even be scouts around at the time, so…"

"And Mom told you no?" She pulled away and this totally incredulous expression came over her face. "She actually wanted to prevent you from gaining anything from this very real chance at doing something really great? How could she?"

"She didn't let me tell her that much, Kari." Taichi stuffed his hands in the pockets of his track pants. "She's ridiculously paranoid about anything involving the Digital World or Digimon."

"Oh." Hikari sighed deeply. "I'm so sorry. I can't believe I didn't notice any of this."

"It's not your fault, little sister." Taichi brushed her hair away from her face gently. "There's nothing you could have done anyway."

"Still…" she sighed again, then jumped as a beeping noise came from her purse. "That's my D-terminal." She dug it out and flipped it open, reading the email quickly. "It's from Miya. She wants to know if I want to gout with Daisuke, Ken, Takeru, and Iori to see a movie tonight."

"You should. Go out and have some fun, Kari, with what's left of our break." Taichi smiled at her and she gave him a one-armed hug.

"Okay. I should get going to Miya's anyway." She whipped off a quick reply to Miyako and tucked her D-terminal back into her purse. Taichi and I followed her to the door, watching her pull her shoes on.

"Do you have money, Kari?" Taichi asked. She nodded, opening her purse again.

"Yes. Dad gave me some extra. Here." She handed him a wad of bills, but he pushed it away with and adamant shaking of his head.

"No, Kari, you keep it. I have money of my own I've been saving for a long time now. Keep that in case you need something or whatever."

"But…" Hikari put the money back in her purse. "Alright. But if you need some, just ask. Promise?"

"Uh huh." Taichi gave her one last hug and shooed her out the door. "Go have fun, Kari. Say hi to the others for me."

"And me!" I piped up, waving over his shoulder at her. "Tell Takeru I'll call him soon."

"Sure, Matt." She waved back. "Bye, guys!"

Taichi stepped out into the hall to watch her until she disappeared into the elevator, then came back inside quietly.

I was waiting for him in the living room. He came in wearing a mixed expression of relief, sadness, and determination that made me simply open my arms and welcome him into them. His own circled me and held tightly, a tremor running through his frame and escaping on a shuddering sigh.

"You okay, Tai?" I asked, rubbing his back slowly.

"I've been better." He answered, voice muffled by my shoulder. "God! That was one of the hardest conversations I've ever had with her. I'm so glad it's over."

I nodded, his hair tickling my jaw and chin, and squeezed him a little tighter briefly. "She took it all well, didn't she? I won't say I told you so."

A dry chuckle sounded in my ear. "No. Of course not."

I let him go after one last hug and looked outside to take stock of the weather. "What we need is fresh air! Let's go find some pajamas for me and maybe stop at the grocery store for some groceries."

Taichi nodded. "Sure. I'll just go find a better shirt and my jacket." He disappeared down the hall and I grabbed my keys and wallet from where I'd left them next to the phone in the kitchen.

"Ready?" I asked when he reappeared.

"Yeah." Taichi followed me to the door where we slipped on our shoes and I put on a light jacket. Then we were out the door and off on our shopping excursion.

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**Kali Notes:** Thanks everyone for reading! I'm back – for a month, at least. lol **Please R/R!!!!**

**Relevant Episodes: **Season 01, episodes 43-44.


	6. Chapter 6

**Kali Notes:** Kali's back from vacation! So here's a new chapter for everyone! Enjoy!

**Warnings:**Yaoi, adult language, adult situations, and probably WAFF enough to give one cavities.

**Disclaimer:** _checks_ Nope. Still don't own it! Go jump in a swamp, lawyers.

**Pairings:** Taito! _squeals_ And DaiKen, Takari, and mentioning of Joe/Mimi, Izzy/Miyako.

* * *

_**Chapter 06**_

It's not my fault. Honest! I can't be blamed for walking into a good clothing store and be attracted by all the other clothing items except for the one I'd intended to look at.

To my chagrin, Taichi was right about my shopping habits. Luckily, Taichi is quite capable of curbing my shop-a-holic enthusiasm, otherwise I'd be broke – yet again – and we wouldn't have food until my Dad got back.

I have to give Taichi credit though, because he sure found an amazing amount of patience for me. Two hours in one store later, after a small mountain of clothes I'd tried on and decided against, the Child of Courage finally snapped and stalked away from the change rooms in a huff.

"Tai! Hey, com on…wait!" I cried, trying to tug on my shoe and hop after him. After nearly colliding with a rack of shirts, I stopped, put the shirt on, and stood to frantically look around for my best friend. I was suddenly sure he'd left me completely until I spotted him in the nightwear section. He was looking around at everything, then grabbed something seemingly at random before turning and stalking back to me with a disgruntled glare.

"Here." He thrust a pair of pajamas at me. "Try those on. If they fit, buy them." His caramel brown eyes regarded me impatiently. "That's what we came here for, so if you leave without buying any after all _that_," he gestured at the change rooms and I ducked my head sheepishly. "I swear I'll tell everyone about your first experience getting drunk."

I blanched and stared at him, horrified. That had been a particularly embarrassing couple of hours – which thankfully Taichi had been the one to rescue me from and was the only one who knew of it. Needless to say, I didn't drink anymore at after-gig parties like that.

"Taichi!" I gasped in protest. "That's just…"

"So go try those on already. Geez, Matt." Taichi began shoving me toward the change room. I let him push me in and draw the curtain closed, leaving me in there.

I paused in unbuttoning my shirt – again – and stuck my head outside the curtain pensively. "You wouldn't _really_…"

"Yamato!"

"Urk!" I ducked back inside and hurriedly changed into the pajamas. Studying my image in the mirrors, I hummed thoughtfully. Taichi…may not have a sense of style where it comes to himself, but when it comes to others, he has some pretty descent tastes. Though I'm sure he wasn't even thinking about anything like size or colour or material or whatever when he grabbed the pajamas.

For my part, I probably would have passed over this kind of blue myself. It was a shade of azure, something that was much, much lighter than anything I'd ever pick out. I prefer darker colours – all of the cold/cool variety (those in the blue, green, purple families), and black, of course. These pajamas didn't look that bad on me, I had to admit. I turned and studied myself over my shoulder, making thinking noises. The material was soft and silky, kind of like satin but not quite. It fit well, maybe just a little big on my thin frame, but still flattering.

"Quit admiring yourself, Matt! Do they fit?" Taichi's impatient voice made me roll my eyes and turn, shoving the curtain aside.

"God, Taichi! Have a little patience!" I retorted, planting my hands on my hips. "They're a little loose but if I went down a size, they'd be too small." I blinked. He stared at me silently for a moment, and I raised an eyebrow. "Taichi? Hey Yagami!" I snapped my fingers in front of his face and he jerked back with a start.

"Ah! Don't do that!"

"Quit spacing out then."

He glowered at me. "Buy them, and let's go."

I studied him curiously for a minute as he turned a slight shade of pink. "What made you grab these, anyway?" I asked. In my head, I was wondering about that blush. I went back into the change room and drew the curtain closed again, changing back into my own clothes quickly.

"Because…they're the same shade of blue that your eyes are when you're happy." The reply was muted and heavy with something like embarrassment. "I figured they'd suit you best, even if they're just pajamas and hardly anyone's going to see them."

I had one shoe on and stopped putting on the other, picking up the pajamas and holding them up. Well, they were pretty close to my eye-colour, and of course blues would bring that out more. The fact that Taichi had recognized that touched me both as thoughtful and curious because it made me wonder why he would even think about something like that. It was almost as if he picked them knowing he was one of those 'few people' who'd see me in them, and he wanted to see me in them.

And maybe Izzy would give up computers to become a Buddhist monk.

I put on my other shoe and stepped back outside, Smiling at my best friend as disarmingly as I could. "Well, you certainly have good taste and an eye for colour, Tai. Let's pay for those and then go find some lunch, okay?"

He nodded and promptly dragged me to the cashier to buy the pajamas.

We made our way through the shopping district until we found a small café/pizzeria. We ordered ourselves a large pizza with the works and extra cheese and sodas, and went to grab seats near the windows.

"So, any requests for meals over the next few days, or do you want to play it by…stomach?" I asked, pulling out my shopping list of groceries to study. It only listed basics.

"Whatever you feel like, Yama." He shrugged. "I'm not picky." Taichi stared out the window, chin propped up with one hand.

"True. Well, we'll see what we find at the store." I put the list away as waitress dropped by with our sodas. I thanked her and took a healthy sip of mine, watching Taichi think. "What's on your mind, pal? Anything I could help with?"

"Not really. Just…everything, I suppose." The Child of Courage spared me a brief glance with a small smile. "But thanks."

I nodded. "It's what I do. So…what about your dad, Tai? Are you going to meet with him?" I frowned at myself and hastily added, "Sorry. If you don't feel like talking about that yet, tell me to shut up."

He laughed a little. "It's okay, Yama. I know you're worried."

"Still, Tai." I replied quite seriously. "If I get to be a pest and you don't want to talk just tell me so and I promise I'll drop it."

The answering look he gave me was fondly amused with me. "I know, Matt. Honest." His expression sobered and he picked up his soda glass to sip absently. "I think I'll have to talk to Dad sooner or alter. It can't be avoided. So I may as well make it sooner and on my terms."

I couldn't argue with that, so I nodded in agreement. "Yeah. If you want to invite him over and talk to him there that's alright by me." I gave him a meaningful look. "I want to be there with you, Tai, and I'm sure Hikari will to."

He looked down at the table top, frowning. "I wish you weren't right about that. I…it's instinct to want to keep her out of it as much as possible, but I also know she's not a little girl anymore, and that she deserves to know exactly what's going on with her family. She hasn't said anything, but I get the feeling she's a little upset that I've been keeping things from her."

"Maybe. But she understands why you did – even if you haven't given her reasons – and she knows it was done out of love for her." I reasoned, trying to reassure him. "And she loves you, Taichi, at least as much as you do her."

He smiled, a real, Taichi-smile. It made his brown eyes so warm and vibrant that I had to admire them helplessly for a moment before he answered me. "I know. I'm so lucky to have her in my life."

"We all are." I agreed. "I think Takeru would agree with me – Daisuke, and the others, too."

Taichi chuckled. "Very true." His smile turned wistful. "She doesn't really need me anymore, Yama. She can take care of herself, and she has Takeru protecting her from any threats, Daisuke defending and worshipping her every breath, and Miyako fighting her battles right next to her. Then there's Ken, who understands her better than anyone because in some ways they're very much alike. And Iori, who guides her and offers wisdom and temperance when she needs it." Taichi leaned back in his seat, folding his hands on the table in front of himself. "Hikari is all grown up, and she has her own group of close friends now. I…don't really have a place there anymore."

I couldn't help laughing – earning a scowl for it. "Don't give me that look, Tai. I'm laughing," I explained before he lost his temper with me. "Because that's exactly how I once felt about Takeru back in the day – when we were fighting the Dark Masters?"

Tai nodded, regarding me curiously. "You never mentioned this before, Yama."

"No. At the time I had to learn to let go, and then I had to find myself. If it hadn't been for Gabumon, I may never have done that, or accepted that even if Takeru was growing up and able to take care of himself, I was still his big brother and always would be." I shrugged at Taichi's surprised expression. "That was a large part of the reason I disappeared for a while after the whole Cherrymon incident." I winced, remembering how I'd actually thought fighting Taichi was the right thing to do. I didn't tell Taichi about how jealous I'd been of his relationship with Takeru, or of how inadequate I felt as a brother and friend. Those…were two dirty little secrets I would hoard until my dying breath and beyond. Besides, I no longer felt that way so there was no point rehashing the past.

"I had no idea, Yama. At the time, all I knew was you had stuff to figure out, so I let you go believing you'd come back when you'd worked things out for yourself." His warm mahogany eyes met mine and held with pure, blind trust and faith, something that never failed to humble and awe me to pieces with that knowledge. "And you did. When I needed you most, during that battle with Piedmon, you came back."

I swallowed hard, emotion choking me up. I don't think I'd ever forget that moment, nor would I forget the numb panic that had crashed into me when I'd seen him lying there bruised and beaten up – War Greymon in no better condition – but still trying to get up and keep fighting to the bitter end. Any lingering doubts over his leadership or our fragile friendship were instantly extinguished then. He had my undying loyalty, respect, and friendship the moment I dropped to my knees next to him and pulled him into my lap and arms carefully, vowing that nothing would ever come between us again. His belief in _me_ is what turned my life around, allowed me to _be_ me without regret, and gave me the confidence to really _live_ my life rather than just exist in it.

How do you tell someone that? How do you ever express the magnitude of the effect someone has on your life? I wasn't sure I ever could find the words to tell him, no matter how much I wanted to. Had we been at home, I just might have crawled into his lap and clung like a monkey, tough-guy image or not. I wouldn't care. After all…it was Taichi. But we were in a crowded pizzeria and he was suffering all kinds of stress and trauma and thus didn't need me emoting all over him like a female (no offense to girls but we guys just don't do emotional freely like they do).

So instead, I pulled together a shaky smirk and made a smart-assed Ishida Yamato comment.

"You know me, Taichi. I'm an attention whore and I love to make an entrance."

Taichi's grin was a little wobbly around the edges, and I knew he remembered much of that as I had, and that it had a similar significance and weight on his emotions. "That's my Yama; your ego is only second to your humility." He rolled his eyes and I laughed, completely not offended.

Wait…'his Yama?' I felt my heart leap at the automatic associations that phrase ignited in my psyche and quickly slapped it down mentally. He couldn't have meant it that way, after all. No way. I hid behind my soda glass, finishing it off. Thank the gods Taichi didn't seem to notice.

The waitress appeared briefly with our pizza, whisking away my glass to get me a refill, and Taichi and I fell into a companionable silence – due to the stuffing of our faces with gooey, cheesy pizza more than a lack of conversation topics.

Feeling much more content with the world now that I was full, I made a soft sighing sound and waited patiently for Taichi to finish off his last slice. He snickered at me and shook his head.

"What?"

"Nothing. You make interesting noises when you're happy."

"Hmph." I huffed and crossed my arms over my chest. "Are you done?" I hoped that the heat crawling up my neck wasn't that visible.

He stuffed the last bit of pizza in his mouth and proceeded to lick the cheese and tomato sauce off his fingers. "Mmm hmm." Taichi answered – though I barely heard him. I was busy being distracted by the show he made cleaning his fingers. Then he suddenly stopped, his index finger still in his mouth. I didn't really pay attention to that, hypnotized, which was why I missed the blinking, the confused stare, and the, "Matt?" he questioned me with.

"Ya-ma-to…" Snap. Fingers snapped in my face and I jerked back.

"Ack!"

"Why were you staring off into space?" Taichi demanded. "No – scratch that. Why were you staring at me?"

Oh shit. Busted.

Thinking quickly, I opened my mouth to reply, but was saved by our diligent waitress, who collected our dirty dishes and left us with the bill. Grabbing it before Taichi could, I slid out of my chair and motioned for him to follow. "Let's go, Tai. We'll grab those groceries and head home."

I paused long enough to pay the bill at the till on the way out, but Taichi wasn't letting me go that easily – much to my consternation.

"You haven't answered me yet, Matt. In fact, you've been doing that a lot lately." I scowled internally. Double damn! I'd thought he hadn't noticed! I should know better. "You're getting good at avoiding answering or changing the subject." He stuffed his hands in the pockets of the track jacket that matched the pants, giving me a not-so-subtle side-glance that warned me not to mess around with him anymore. "And I'm beginning to suspect that I was right to not believe you about that 'teenage angst' line you tried to pull on me last night. So 'fess up!"

"Tai…" I stalled, stopping in front of the supermarket and staring up at the sky, though it was hidden from clear view by the light pollution of the city. "It's nothing, alright? I'm a teenage boy still growing and trying to find the person I am as an adult. Hormones and emotions do weird things. You can't say they haven't affected you, too."

"That would just be hypocritical, duh." He stood in front of me with folded arms and feet planted. Taichi really wasn't going to budge until I came clean enough to satisfy him. "Fine. So you're having a mid-puberty crisis. That isn't all, Yamato, and you can't fool _me_ into believing otherwise."

Why, oh why, would he not just leave it be? Because it's Taichi, and he always pushes when he thinks I need to talk and be psychoanalyzed. Which doesn't mean I have to like it, of course. "Look," I responded, my temper beginning to fray. I shoved a finger in his face. "Maybe I don't feel like talking about it – like you didn't last night about the mysterious love of your life?" My gaze turned frosty in my anger and there was the green monster again, knocking the angel off my shoulder to take its place. As usual, I somehow manage to speak before I think and eat both feet whole. "Did it ever occur to you that maybe I have feelings of my own to work out before I want to discuss them? I don't need you and your amateur psychology attempts right now, Yagami, so back off!"

Taichi's eyes narrowed, warm brown eyes flashing into a burnt chocolate hue, his temper beginning to show through. He swatted my hand negligently out of his face and took a step up to me, moving into my personal space to stand nose-to-nose with me. "As you're so very fond of telling me, Ishida, I can't help you or know these things if _you_ _don't tell me_ about it. How the hell am I supposed to know you're confused about how you feel about…whoever?" I saw a brief flash of something like pain in his eyes before it was gone, making me doubt if I'd seen it. You've never mentioned an interest in someone since Sora, so don't expect me to be a fucking mind reader!"

Letting out a growl that usually preludes a fist in his direction, my hands clenched tightly. Before anything further could be said or done, however, the argument was fatefully interrupted.

"Taichi? Matt? What are you two fighting about now? And outside a store no less?" Joe's voice cut through the heavy tension between us and we simultaneously turned our heads to glare at him for the interruption. He threw his hands up, waving them defensively, and nervously continued. "Hey! Don't let me stop you! I'm just curious, that's all."

Just like that, the anger drained away and I took a step back from Taichi. Maybe I wasn't mad anymore, but I was still annoyed – and distressed that I'd come close to losing my temper enough to have blurted out things I wasn't prepared to deal with yet should Taichi learn of them. Leave it to Joe to diffuse a situation without even realizing it. There were many, many reasons why he is the Child of Reliability (or Faith, as some call it), and his concern for others was just one of them.

"Hey, Joe." Taichi ran a hand through his hair and shrugged, trying to shake it off, I guess. "It was nothing." He glanced at me and I blinked back at him.

"Yeah. Just one of our usual spats." I added, silently agreeing with Taichi that Joe really didn't need to know – and lying through my teeth because it would not qualify as one of our 'usual spats' in reality.

Joe didn't seem to be buying it, but at least he wasn't going to push. "Well, whatever it is, keep the damage to a minimum. I'm out of gauze and band-aids." He joked, and I had to smile a little. Taichi, too.

"Hey, if we didn't beat up on each other on occasion, you wouldn't have practice patients, would you, Dr. Kido?" Taichi teased, tossing an arm around his shoulders and nearly knocking the poor guy off his feet. Fixing his glasses, Joe shrugged.

"Honestly? I'd prefer that." He looked at me. "Speaking of, how're you feeling, Matt? Any relapses?"

I blinked. "Nope. I'm healthy as a Unimon." I tilted my head at him curiously. "What are you doing out here, anyway?"

"Oh! I needed some snacks, and didn't want to bother my Mom. I've been studying for a big neuron-chemistry exam next week and I got the munchies." He smiled like it was an everyday thing – which in his case it was – and held up the grocery bag full of his purchases. "I was leaving when I heard you two arguing."

"Hmm…" Taichi tried to grab the bag to inspect its contents but Joe knew him too well and kept it out of reach. "Aww…nothing in there for me? Share, Joe!"

"Not this time." Joe refused sternly. "Go buy your own!" I laughed and grabbed my best friend by the arm, pulling him toward the door.

"Come on, bottomless pit. We need groceries anyway." I waved at Joe. "Talk to you later, Joe!"

He waved back, shaking his head at us while Taichi pouted cutely at being denied snacks. I let go of him inside the store and picked up a shopping basket. Pulling out my list, I sighed and prepared to go hunting down the items on it. I hate grocery shopping – it's the only kind of shopping I dislike. "We might as well start over there in the produce area and work our way through the rest of the stone." I said absently. "Let's go, Taichi."

He walked alongside me, silent. I guess he was still put out with me. I felt a little bad for it, but I couldn't tell him the truth. I just…couldn't.

I was trying to decide which brand of rice I wanted when I heard a sigh come from him. Glancing at him, I picked up one large bag of rice and deposited it into his arms. "Bored? We're almost done." I moved on to find the next items – all in the meat section.

"No. I'm sorry, Yama." Taichi shifted the rice to be easier to carry. "I shouldn't have provoked you like that. I hate fighting with you."

I closed my eyes briefly and blew out a breath. "I don't like it much either, Tai." I answered, opening my eyes again and looking at him solemnly. "And I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have lost my temper so easily like that, and I said stuff I deserve to be punched for." I looked away and kept walking, wanting to get this shopping done with and go home. "Let's just forget it."

"I won't ask about it again." Taichi promised. "But just promise me that when you're ready, you'll talk to me about it?" I nodded. He'd done the same for me, after all. I couldn't say no. "And one last thing?"

"What?"

"Boy or girl?"

I nearly tripped ungracefully over my own feet, blushing to the roots of my hair. "Taichi!" I protested lamely, knowing that I had to answer that, too. He laughed at my embarrassment, the brat.

"Come on, Yama! Spill it!" He grinned cheekily at me. "You know mine so it's only fair that you share yours!"

"Guy." I scowled, never even considering lying about that, too. I could feel my ears heating up at the interested expression on his face. "Now drop it, Taichi."

"Okay, okay!" Still grinning, though muted somewhat now, he ambled along companionably. "Can I ask you something though?" He hastily amended that question before I could snarl something unfriendly at him. "Not about the person, just…in general?"

Wary, I eyed him from the side and leaned over the meat counter to pick some fish that I'd make sushi with. "You can ask but don't expect me to answer if I don't want to."

"Of course not." He agreed readily. "Do you really think the whole homosexuality and bisexuality things really exist? I mean, is it possible for a guy or a girl to fall in love with another guy or girl even though they'd always believed themselves to be 'straight'?"

"I'm not sure I get what you're asking." I frowned thoughtfully. "That's it for my list. Anything else?"

"Not that I can think of." Taichi followed me to the check-out to pay for everything. "I mean…there are guys out there who wouldn't touch a girl with a ten-foot pole, I know. Same for some girls with guys. But…hormones and procreation aside," he set the rice on the conveyer belt and helped me empty the basket. "If a guy who would normally be straight suddenly fell for another guy, does that make him gay? Or bi? Or does it just mean he fell for another guy?"

I gave him an odd look – so did the cashier, though for much different reasons, I'm sure. "Where did this streak of philosophizing come from?" I wondered, digging out my wallet. "You're not worried about what the others might think of you, are you? Because hello? Ken and Daisuke?"

He rolled his eyes at me. "No, nothing like that. I'm just wondering where all the negativity and stuff that society seems to hoard against homosexuality and bi-sexuality comes from and why it even matters."

I shrugged. "No clue. It's not as bad as it used to be. Besides, some cultures are less tolerant or understanding than others." I smirked. "It isn't going to stop people from doing it. The heart wants what it wants, no matter what 'society' decides is right or wrong." I paid the cashier, smiling engagingly with Ishida Yamato charm at the wide-eyed girl as I accepted my change. "Thanks. Let's go home. There should be a good movie on TV tonight."

"On a Friday? I suppose so." Taichi hurried after me. "So you don't think it would make him gay? Or bi?"

"Nope. I think it's just that they truly love each other enough to forsake all others. And I mean all. There's nothing wrong with _that_ is there?" I nudged him with an elbow, since my hands were occupied with shopping bags. "Besides, is it really going to matter, in the end?"

"I guess not." Taichi agreed.

"_Are_ you worried about what other people might think?" I asked again. "Because I honestly think that the people you care about aren't going to care."

"Family and friends, no. But…my teammates, my coach, my teachers…" Taichi shrugged, jostling his own burden of the rice bag and another shopping bag. "Future employers…It sort of hit me that there will be other obstacles in my life that are going to arise out of that irrational bias against those kinds of sexuality. And I don't know how to be prepared for it."

I nodded, considering that. In my own case, I knew my band wouldn't care – as long as I could still sing and play music, I could fall wildly in love with an alien for all they cared. But…studios and venues and recording labels might have issues. Some of my fans would care very much. I guess I understood where Taichi was coming from on this.

"Tai…maybe we can't be ready. We don't know what the future really holds. We just live as best we can and try to do so to be as happy as we can. There will be roadblocks but they aren't so difficult that they can't be overcome. We're not alone, either. We have support from the people who count most and we know it." I finally pointed out. We were approaching my building by now, and I was looking forward to the easy evening. "So…when such an issue should come up, we'll deal with it somehow. Together."

An expression of peaceful relief spread over his face, so I must have said something right that assured him somehow. "I'd glomp you, Yama, but I might hurt the food."

I snickered at that. Same old Taichi, his stomach not far from any thought or action. "We'll pretend you did."

* * *

We spent the evening quietly, and went to bed after the last, late-night movie had finished on TV.

The return to classes and the daily routine that came with school arrived all too quickly. Taichi decided to call his father at work to arrange a meeting at my place - thereby avoiding his mother and any interference on her part, as well as being on his own ground with the support of Hikari and myself. It was probably one of the hardest phone calls he'd ever have to make, and he clutched my hand the entire five minute conversation. It went fairly well, however. His dad was surprisingly quite reasonable about it, and they agreed to meet on Saturday afternoon.

The week leading up to that day was understandably nerve-wracking for Taichi. His short-fused temper was more easily ignited than normal, but it never lasted long before he was apologizing to whoever was on the receiving end until he was blue in the face.

My own father came home on the Tuesday of that week. Taichi wasn't home yet from his soccer practice, and I was in my room thumbing out a melody on my guitar to go with the lyrics I was working on.

"Matt? Hey, son!" Dad popped his head around the door to my room and I looked up.

"Oh! Hey, Dad! You're home?" I set aside my guitar and turned off my amp. "Come on in."

"Thanks." He opened the door all the way and came in, taking a seat at my desk. "Yeah. I'm back for a few days at least. There's a broadcasting conference in Osaka I'll have to go to next week, but hopefully they won't send me out on any assignments until then."

I nodded. "Yeah." I paused, glancing at Taichi's corner of the room where he'd stashed his things temporarily. "Listen, Dad, some things came up while you were away. Taichi needed a place to stay so I offered to let him stay here for a while. I hope you don't mind."

Dad frowned in concern and regarded me curiously. "Of course not, Matt. Taichi or any of your friends are always welcome here. What happened?"

"Well, he's been having problems with his mother lately, and it got to the point that he was ready to explode. He needed to move out for his own sanity – Hikari, too. She's staying at Sora's until Taichi works things out." I ran a hand through my hair and sighed. "I don't know how much he wants me to tell you, Dad, but….just know it was that bad."

Dad nodded slowly, absorbing that. "Alright. I can respect that. He can tell me as much as he wants me to know Matt. If he needs me to do anything, I don't mind that either."

I smiled. "Thanks, Dad. I know it'll make him feel better to know that. Oh!" I added after a moment. "Takeru wants to come spend time with you soon, if possible. You should give him a call sometime."

Dad smiled back and nodded, going to the door. "Will do. Does Mexican sound good to you for supper? I'll order out and have it delivered."

"Sure." I followed him out to the kitchen to look over take-away menus with him.

Taichi came home not long after, gym bag in one hand and school bag tossed over his other shoulder. He paused in the hall outside the kitchen when he noticed us – still pouring over menus.

"Oh! Hey, Mr. Ishida." He greeted my father, who raised a hand in greeting and beckoned him over.

"Taichi! You're just in time to help us pick out supper. Put your stuff down and come here to look at these menus."

"Yes sir. One minute." Taichi headed down the hall to our room and I left Dad for a bit, wanting to talk to my best friend quickly.

"Hey. How was practice?" I asked, watching him dump out his dirty laundry from his gym bag and throw it into the laundry basket for later.

"Lame. All we did was run drills." Taichi snorted, tugging off his jacket and emptying the pockets before tossing that in the laundry, too. "When did your Dad get back?"

"Not long ago." I shrugged. "I was playing with my headphones on so I didn't hear him come home."

"Ah."

"I told him you needed a place to stay, and that you were having problems with your mom, but nothing else." I informed him quietly. "I didn't know how much else to tell him."

Taichi sighed and flopped backward onto my bed to stare at the ceiling. "Thanks, Yama. I appreciate it. Does he mind me crashing here?"

"Nope. He'll probably tell you himself later, but he said you're as welcome as Takeru or any of the others, anytime for however long you need, and if you need him for anything he's willing to help."

"Your dad's a great guy, Yama. You're lucky." Taichi sat up, giving me a wry smile. "I'm glad you guys have such a great relationship."

I reached out and ruffled his bushy hair affectionately. "You're practically another son to him, you know."

He swatted me away. "Cut that out! Yeah. So you've said."

"Come on. We're picking out Mexican for supper." I grabbed his hand and yanked him up and off the bed.

"Mmm…great! I'm starved!"

* * *

**Kali Notes:** Thanks for reading everyone! I'm having such fun with this fic. Hope you enjoyed it! lol **Please R/R!!!!**

**Relevant Episodes: **Season 01, episodes 44-45.


	7. Chapter 7

**Kali Notes:** Wow. Just wow. Thank you everyone who has commented and reviewed this fic so far, and thank you to all of you who have been fav-ing it. I'm very honoured that people seem to really appreciate what I'm trying to do here. So thank you, thank you, thank you! I hope you'll all continue to stick through it with me!

**Warnings:**Yaoi, adult language, adult situations, and probably WAFF enough to give one cavities.

**Disclaimer:** _checks_ Nope. Still don't own it! Go jump in a swamp, lawyers.

**Pairings:** Taito! _squeals_ And DaiKen, Takari, and mentioning of Joe/Mimi, Izzy/Miyako.

* * *

_**Chapter 07**_

Friday evening was chaotic. Takeru came home with Taichi and I after school, and we three Ishida men – whether my little brother bore the name or not, he was still an Ishida – proceeded to turn the apartment into a disaster area as we sorted and de-cluttered the spare room/office that Takeru and my father used whenever they were home. There were boxes lining the hallway, stacks of papers and books in the living room, and various other articles of junk stashed here and there until we could decide what to do with it.

Once the room was clear, Taichi helped me scrub the place down until it gleamed, while Dad and Takeru began the tedious task of sorting through all the stuff we'd removed.

Sighing, I dropped my cleaning cloth in my bucket of dirty wash-water and wiped at the sweat on my brow with my forearm tiredly. "Man, this place was horrible. I can't believe how much dust and how many spider webs can collect in such a small room."

Still scrubbing vigorously at a spot on the floor, Taichi snickered. "It's not like you could give it a proper cleaning with all that _stuff_ you had shoved in here." He seemed to feel obligated to point out we were pack-rats.

"Never again." I vowed fervently. I looked around the room consideringly. "The walls are still boring though. This place has no life to it. Maybe we should paint the walls…"

"Tonight?!" Taichi stared at me incredulously. "You've got to be kidding. It's nearly 11:00 pm!"

"No, not _tonight_." I gave him a weird look. "Are you nuts? I'm exhausted! I meant some other day. We could paint the walls and decorate it nicely so it would suit you, don't you think?" Really think about it, I got to my feet and pondered the idea, imagining all kinds of things that would make it seem like a home to Taichi. "Hmm…autumn colours, I think, with a few modern touches…"

"You are _so_ weird, Yama."

"What?" I planted my hands on my hips. "I just want to make it more comfortable for you."

He sighed and shook his head, not saying anything else. Taichi went back to scrubbing and I frowned at him, wondering what that had been about.

"Hey, you two!" Takeru strolled in, whistling softly at the job we did. "Wow. Quite a difference! You should see the number of garbage bags and the amount of paper Dad and I are putting out for recycling."

"I'll bet." I tilted my head. "What's up?"

"Dad said to quit for tonight. He's taking the trash and recycling down to the bins right now." Takeru smiled. "Besides! There's a late night horror movie-thon on TV tonight! We should make lots of snacks and stay up all night watching it, don't you think?"

"Yeah sure." I yawned. "If I can stay awake."

My younger sibling laughed. "You're turning into an old man, Yamato."

I aimed a friendly swat at his head and he ducked, running away with another laugh. "I'll start making popcorn!" I heard him call.

"Tai and I will be there soon!" I called back, shaking my head. "He'll probably be the first to fall asleep, too."

"Yama…you guys really don't have to go through all this trouble, just for me." Taichi suddenly said, not looking up at me. "I know it's going to make you mad to hear it, but its how I feel. I don't want you and your family to go through all this effort when I'm just a temporary guest…"

"You're right. You are going to make me mad." I agreed evenly, beginning to clean up the cleaning supplies. "So don't go there, Taichi, and insult me. If it'll make you feel better, we're just using you as an excuse to finally buckle down and clean this place out." We weren't really, but it sounded plausible. "We've been putting it off for a long time. Your being here just forced us to actually _do_ it instead of procrastinating a while longer."

"If you say so. Still…"

"Damn it! _Don't_, Taichi. Just don't." Frustrated, I hauled cleaning supplies out of the room in a huff. Maybe it was selfish of me, but this guilt-ridden attitude he was riding on was beginning to get on my nerves. When would he figure out that I was just trying to make his life a little easier and a little happier? Why couldn't he understand that?

As I put away cleaning products under the bathroom sink, it hit me that his nerves were probably worn raw by the prospect of the meeting with his father the next day, and that he was probably angst-ing about it. Feeling like a complete asshole, I let my head bang against the cupboard doors solidly. He didn't need me being pissy at him for just voicing how he felt about the situation. He needed his best friend and some understanding.

"Matt?" Takeru peeked around the bathroom door in concern. "I heard a thump. You okay?"

"Nope." I replied with false cheeriness. "I'm just being a completely selfish, horrible best friend, that's all."

Now he looked really worried. "What? Why?"

"Don't worry about it. Go make snacks, Takeru." I waved his concern away.

"Matt…"

"Go! I'm fine." I got up and made my way back to the spare room, where I found Taichi still sitting in the same spot, his back to the door, silent and unmoving. No…his shoulders were shaking slightly, and I could hear his breathing hitch several times.

Well, if I didn't feel bad enough before…

I was kneeling behind him and throwing my arms around him before I realized I'd moved.

"I'm sorry." I sniffed, burying my face in the back of his neck. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry…"

I felt him move, and then his arms came up to hold mine against him, his hands clutching at me like he was afraid I was going to disappear. A deep shudder ran throw his body and I heard a quiet sniffle. "No, I'm sorry." He said in a watery tone. "I should be thanking you and your dad on hands and knees, and instead I just complain about being treated like a member of your family. I really do appreciate everything you've done for me, Matt. I will never find the words to tell you what it means to me, and I'll probably never make it up to you, but…"

"Stop!" I cut him off, choking on a laugh that was mixed with tears that had gathered in my eyes but never fell. "I know all that, Taichi. Dad, too. We don't want to be paid back. I know if I ever needed you for something you'd be there and that's everything I need. You're my best friend, Tai. Outside of family, you are the most important person in the world to me. You know that, right?"

His grip and arms tightened, and he leaned farther into me. "Yes. I don't know why you put up with me sometimes but…yes." Taichi tilted his head away to look at me from the side as clearly as he could from our awkward position. "You know I feel the same, right?"

"Idiot." I grinned, tackling him to the floor and vigorously trying to tickle me into submission. "Nobody else would put up with _me_."

Trying to avoid my fingers and retaliating with his own attacks, he laughed. "That's true! Ha ha! Damn it! You're slippery! Quit…wriggling!"

"Ha! I've got you! Take that!" I somehow managed to get my fingers near the backs of his knees – which I knew was the one place he was super-ticklish. I had his legs pinned to the floor with my body, Taichi on his stomach, while I tickled him mercilessly.

"Ah! Ha ha ha! Stop! No more! Ah! Nooooo…"

"Say it!"

"No! Never! Hahaha!"

"Say. It…" I didn't even notice my little brother sneaking up behind me. That's my excuse and I'm sticking to it. "Agh! No! _Ta-keru_!"

How unfair is it to be tackled by your little brother and consequently ganged up on by him and your best friend? Very.

"Not the hair!"

"Noogie attack!"

"Ahhghhh! Mercy!"

"Ha! How do you like _that_?"

"You two are...hahaha! So dead!"

"Boys!"

Dad's voice had us going dead silent and freezing in place in an instant. We three stared up at him innocently. He sighed and shook his head ruefully at us.

"You'd think you were all little kids again. Quit yelling before you annoy the neighbours." Dad shook his head again. "What's with all the popcorn in the kitchen?"

We untangled ourselves and Takeru bounced out the door. "Late night horror movie-thon, Dad! Want to join us?"

I collapsed onto my back to stare at the ceiling. "I'm thinking I won't last long for that. I'm exhausted." I glanced at Taichi. "Still upset or do I have to tickle you again?"

He stuck his tongue out at me. "I'm fine, thanks, and don't do that again or I'll hide all your hair products."

Content with that, I closed my eyes and smiled to myself peacefully. "Do that and I'll break your fingers."

"No, you wouldn't."

"Come on, Matt! Taichi! Popcorn's getting cold!" Takeru called from the living room. We got up off the floor and grabbed the last of the cleaning stuff to put away before we joined my father and Takeru for the movies.

I was right on both counts; Takeru was out first, and I didn't last much longer.

I fell asleep nestled against Taichi's side, his arm draped around me comfortably. It felt perfect.

* * *

The next morning, I was up first. I made myself and Dad something to eat for breakfast, and he went hurrying off to work.

"If you or Taichi need me for anything later, call me, alright? Anything at all." Dad told me as he put his shoes on. I nodded. "Good. I'll see you all later, then."

"Sure. Thanks, Dad." I replied and saw him out. I went back to the kitchen and made a fresh pot of coffee.

Takeru came plodding out from Dad's room, where he'd bunked for the night. He looked half-asleep with his wild, messy hair, droopy eyes, and the wrinkled pajamas he wore. And did I mention the penguin slippers? It's nice to see my little brother hadn't grown up _too_ much yet.

"Matt? Why're you up so early?" He dropped down next to me on a stool at the counter, peering at what I was doing owlishly.

"It's not that early, lazy bones." I sipped my coffee and tapped keys on the laptop in front of me. "I made breakfast for Dad, and now I'm brainstorming ideas of what to do with Taichi's room."

"Breakfast?" He perked up and rubbed at his eyes cutely. "What did you make?"

"Scrambled eggs and toast." I pointed at the stove. "Help yourself."

"Awesome."

Takeru shoveled eggs and toast into his mouth while I perused the internet for paint colours, furniture ideas, accessories, and other such stuff to decorate my best friend's room. I'd been totally serious about fixing it up to make him comfortable here. A part of me acknowledged that my motivation was highly selfish. I didn't want him to move out again. I wanted him to stay. Therefore, somewhere in my head, if he liked living here then he wouldn't leave. Rationalization at it's best…

Finishing off my coffee, I studied paint samples with a frown. "Keru, which of these reds do you think suit Taichi best?"

Takeru swallowed his mouthful and leaned over my shoulder, peering at the screen. "That one. It has an orange tint to it. Makes it look fiery."

"Hmm…yeah, you're right. Good choice." I jotted the paint colour brand names down on a notepad. "Maybe I should paint my room too. I'm tired of plain white walls." I blinked as Takeru pulled the computer away from me and navigated the webpage curiously. "Hey!"

"If you did your room," Takeru scrolled down until he spotted a colour he liked. "I'd choose that one." He pointed it out and shoved the laptop at me. "It's your colour."

Somewhat surprised by his eye for colour, I hummed approvingly. He'd picked a white-blue shade, sort of an icy azure. It was like the colour of blue you get when you burn certain chemicals – like propane – only more vibrant. "I like it." I wrote that one down, too.

The Child of Hope rolled his eyes at me and took his dishes to the sink.

"You want to come with us, Keru?" I asked, shutting down my laptop. "Hikari won't be here until 2:00."

"I suppose. You don't mind me tagging along?" the brat gave me this grin and suggestive eyebrow wiggle.

"Eh?" I stared at him blankly, not sure what he was implying here.

"You and Taichi."

"What about us?" I eyed him with a frown.

"Come on, Matt. It's so obvious!"

"Then I'm oblivious. Enlighten me, please!"

"Can you two _be_ any louder?" Taichi's voice interrupted. I looked over my shoulder and spotted him standing in the doorway to the kitchen, stretching out the stiffness from sleeping on the floor in an awkward position (I'd hauled him to my room dead asleep last night and dropped him on his futon then dropped myself on my bed not bothering to put on any pajamas).

"Good morning to you too, sunshine." I replied cheerfully, much to his disgust, pouring two mugs of coffee – another for myself and one for Taichi. He just grunted at me and accepted the mug.

I thought I heard Takeru mutter something like, "Totally oblivious is right…" before he fled the kitchen in a hurry.

"I get dibs on the shower!"

"Brat!" I called after him, shaking my head.

"Vain!" He shouted back, laughing. I scowled.

"I am not."

"Yes you are. But we love you anyway." Taichi set his mug down and threw an arm around my shoulders, leaning on me as he studied the laptop screen. "What'cha lookin' at?"

"Paint colours. Breakfast's on the stove – though you'll probably have to warm it up now."

"Food!" I winced as he exclaimed that right in my ear, then zipped around the counter to fill a plate.

"How do you feel about red walls?" I asked absently, checking out another site.

"Red? What?" Taichi sat beside me where Takeru had been and eyed the hundreds of shades I was looking at. "Whoa. I didn't know there were that many reds."

"I'm going to spruce this place up a bit, starting with your room. I thought maybe something like this," I pointed out a similar shade of burnt red to the one my brother had picked. "And something blue for my room, and then later I thought I'd do Dad's room and the living room if he agreed to it."

Taichi ate his toast, watching me with amusement. I gave him a baleful stare, asking, "What?" silently.

"Nothing! It's just funny to watch you play 'interior designer.' Maybe you should think about that as a career."

"Are you implying that I'm not good enough to make it as a rock star?" That earned him a rather insulted glare, and he sighed, rolling his eyes at me.

"No-oo…you're a very good, very talented musician, Yama. I'm just saying that when you're done with that life, you should decorate people's homes for a living."

"Hmph." I turned back to my computer with a huff, not quite convinced, but letting it slide. "Whatever. So, red?"

Taichi sighed again, swallowing the last of his breakfast. "Yamato, I am your number one fan, and I support you no matter what and you know that. Quit being so touchy." He said as he got up and placed his dishes in the sink before coming back to where I sat. "Let me see…" he mused over the colours on the screen, leaning over me until he was basically draped over my back, his arms tossed over my shoulders and his chin resting on top of my head – covering me like a giant, Taichi-shaped blanket. I made an annoyed sound and tried shrugging him off but he just ignored me. "I think the one you showed me is fine. It's not too red, and it's not ugly, so…"

"Okay." I didn't dare look at him, instead keeping focused on the screen. I became distinctly aware of how close he was and how…good it felt to have him pressed against me in what was practically a full-bodied hug. I couldn't take much more of it, though, and was soon standing and closing the laptop – which forced Taichi to get off me and let me up. "Well, the day is not getting any younger. Let's get ready to go and we'll go pick up some paint." I began walking down the hall to my room.

Taichi followed behind me, the shuffling of his footsteps telling me he wasn't entirely awake yet. I knew he would be once we got outside and he got some fresh air and sunshine. It always seemed to revitalize him – like coffee did for me and every other caffeine addict in the world.

"When exactly are you planning on painting?" He asked me as we changed into some clean clothes. Well, in my case, I was waiting for the shower.

"Soon. Before classes are back in." I shrugged. "No need to waste such a good opportunity, right?"

Takeru poked his head into the room, flashing a grin. "Shower's free. And hey! We should have a painting party!"

"A what?" Taichi chuckled, while heading for the door.

"We invite our friends, and whoever can make it helps us paint, and then we have lots of food and stuff…sort of a party!" My brother explained enthusiastically. "We did that for Ken and Daisuke, once, when they got that apartment together. Us younger kids, I mean."

"Sure. Sounds like fun. We'll have to ask Dad, but I don't think he'll mind." I left them to discuss it, since I could hear the shower calling me.

As I scrubbed myself down vigorously, I thought about our successors (mine and Taichi's), as we'd come to think of Daisuke and Ken. Daisuke, who combined both the cardinal attributes both Taichi and I embodied as the Guardian of Courage and Friendship, and Ken, the Child of Kindness and former Digimon Kaiser. Together they were as powerful and unbeatable as Taichi and I, and together they could always be trusted to lead our younger Digidestined friends as Taichi and I always tried to. Taichi and Daisuke were always willing to fight if it was required and sometimes they didn't really think things through before they acted. Which is where Ken and I came in, even if sometimes, we thought too much. We were the temperance and patience our warrior, goggle-headed leaders needed. In terms of being Digidestined, we were balanced and in harmony this way.

The comparison between our relationships with each other didn't end there, however. Taichi and Daisuke had similar personalities and temperaments – so much so that Daisuke was often mistaken as a mini-Taichi, his brother, or perhaps a clone. There were differences though. Vast differences. But you had to know both extremely well to see and understand them. Where most believed Daisuke and Taichi were always happy, soccer-freaks with few serious thoughts in their heads, the truth was far from that misconception. It was true that Daisuke often didn't understand exactly _how_ or _why_ things worked and happened the way they did, but it didn't matter because he understood the fundamental reasons of right, wrong, and the consequences of each.

Taichi, on the other hand (and it took even me a while to figure this out and accept), was often _seriously_ underestimated in his intelligence. Izzy may have the curiosity and desire to learn everything he could, which made him the Child of Knowledge, but Taichi possessed a wisdom that far surpassed that. Further, he figured out the good and bad of a situation, the possible actions to be taken, and the consequences of each possibility at a speed that left the rest of us far, far behind. This aspect of him is yet another of the reasons that Cherrymon had been able to influence me so easily.

I hadn't figured out that Taichi could always see the big picture, and that he worked tirelessly toward that goal with firm and sure determination. I thought I could , but I just didn't see as far or as clearly as he did, which is why he is the leader he is – and I am not.

Also, Taichi has a real knack for diplomacy, and a degree of control of his temper when it really matters. Daisuke…not so much. Daisuke is learning diplomacy, but he'll never have the knack of it that his idol does. And the kid's temper…well, it rivals mine, when ignited, though his ignites easier and can flare hotter than even mine.

As for Ken and I, there were actually fewer similarities between us than our best friends. What we did share, though, was our coolness and aloofness with people outside our group and our families – yet even with our families, we'd had to learn to let go of that aloofness and cool exterior. We'd both had issues growing up. My parents and the divorce, and how much I'd resented being split up from Takeru had driven a wedge between me and my parents (Mom for taking Takeru away, and Dad for letting her). Ken's latent younger sibling feelings when his older brother, Osamu, continued to out-shine him in every possible way, and treated him as lesser before he died, and the way everyone – including their parents – seemed to prefer Osamu to Ken and often overlooked the boy. And then Osamu's death had brought a whole new pit of self-loathing, guilt, and despair that had cut off Ken from the world…

And thus opened the door for Myotismon (in Oikawa's body) to infiltrate the Child of Kindness and turn him to the dark-side, to bring out the opposite trait we Chosen also carry but are somehow able to keep suppressed and balanced within ourselves. In Ken's case, that trait was Cruelty.

A pang of regret and guilt made my chest hurt. If only we'd known he was out there. If only we'd known of the existence of a _ninth_ child…well. The 'ifs' would forever haunt us, and certainly Ken never blamed us for anything. It wouldn't stop me from wishing we could have known and perhaps prevented a great deal of his pain, even if I knew that things had happened the way they did for a reason. Those of us who were the Bearers of a crest had all faced our dark sides at one point, but none of us – except and myself and Hikari, maybe – had ever succumbed like Ken had.

My close call with the darkness in me, with my Crest's opposite – Enmity – came twice. The first was the one that we all had to face and overcome – the one that made our Crests glow. I had come to distrust Joe, to think that maybe all the 'accidents' around him were deliberate so that I would be force to stay with him and unable to search for my brother and/or the others. But then Taichi and Takeru found us, and we found out about that bratty, batty Digimon, Demidevimon, and his attempts at keeping each of us from growing stronger. My crest glowed that day with righteous anger – directed at myself as much as Demidevimon for ever believing Joe – _Joe!_ – was not a friend and was disloyal and a liar. I'll say one thing for that event: where I had previously ignored (for the most part) and dismissed Joe, I had now gotten to know him and found I liked him. He was reliable (no pun intended) and I could always count on his friendship, something I desperately needed in my life.

It was the second encounter I had that I believe puts me in a similar situation as Ken's struggle with the Dark, even if it was nowhere _near_ as bad or deep as his had been. And that was the whole doubt of Taichi – his leadership, his friendship, his motivations, and his relationship with Takeru – that let me be manipulated by Cherrymon and Demidevimon (again), and that sent me off on a quest of self-discovery which tore the group apart, however briefly, when we needed to be united more than anything. I saw that strange, black and white reality of the kind that Hikari, Ken, and Takeru had described to us before, though I'd never mentioned it to anyone else, save Sora, who'd nearly fallen prey to it, too. Joe was there then, and Takeru, but neither seems to have made the connection as I have. Even Sora is skeptical, but I often think it's because she doesn't want to admit it. The opposite trait for her, after all, is Hate. And on one likes to talk about what that can make a person feel and do.

Other than our experiences in life, there were really few similarities between Ken and I. But it was the possibility of my relationship with Taichi becoming one that was similar to Daisuke and Ken's that had put my thoughts rolling down this track of reminiscing in the first place.

I thought about it some more as I dried my hair and got dressed, knowing Taichi and my brother were waiting for me. Daisuke and Ken had been willing to leave their families and risk the scorn and prejudices of the world on their own when they moved in together. Their families, thankfully, were supportive, and of course we – their friends – were supportive, but there were still many who had shown their true colours when their relationship status became known. Yet they were strong enough to weather the storm and to keep on living, without apology. I didn't know the circumstances of _how_ exactly they came to be the lifemates and lovers they are, but I now wondered if such a thing could happen between Taichi and I – could we be that strong and sure? My conversation with Taichi at the supermarket floated through my mind. I had been sincere and truthful in what I'd said to him, but…I still doubted myself. The truth, I suppose, is that I don't know how I'd react facing that kind of discrimination. And I am afraid of it.

But, as I walked out into the living room, primped and polished, and saw my best friend leaning against the back of the couch with his arms folded over his chest and legs stretched out before him and crossed at the ankle… I felt a tightening in my chest, and a giddiness that made me dizzy for a moment. I had to stop and lean against the wall and just stare at him. Thankfully he hadn't noticed me yet. I couldn't hear what he and my brother were talking about over the whirring buzz in my ears, but it made Taichi laugh and he just looked so gorgeous that it made me smile.

And that was followed by a mild dose of panic. Why? I think I'd just had an epiphany and I so wasn't ready for it. The reason I wanted to walk out there, pull him into my arms and kiss him (not totally out of lust, either) was because I wanted to be that person in his life. I wanted that privilege, that honour. I wanted to be able to love him because…I already did.

My heart was pounding like a jackhammer, and I couldn't breathe. My knees were feeling a little unstable, and I was unbearably hot. All I could think was, _I can't let him see me like this!_ – let alone Takeru – and I was turning and zipping back into the bathroom before I realized I was moving.

Gee. How courageous am I? Run away and hide whenever I start to feel things I'm not accustomed to or want to deal with yet. Typical, signature Ishida Yamato. I let myself slide down the door to the floor and locked the door before I buried my head in my arms, shacking like a leaf in a gale of wind. I wished, desperately, that Gabumon was here. Other than Taichi the little 'Mon was the only being in either world that understood me, and I really wished he was with me to say something wise that I needed to hear, like's always able to do.

I could almost hear him. First he'd be telling me to calm down and breathe, then he'd remind me that Taichi is my best friend – other than himself of course – and no matter what he'd still be my best friend. Then he'd tell me that I was getting worked up for no reason, because haven't I always loved Taichi? Just because I've only just realized what that means doesn't change anything else, really. Taichi is still Taichi, and I'm still me, and we're still Taichi and Yamato.

I lifted my head and let it fall back against the door with a 'thunk.' I could breathe again, and I'd calmed down enough to realize that Gabumon might not have been right here with me, but he still had the right things to say to straighten me out.

"Thanks, pal. I owe you big time." I murmured aloud, knowing he couldn't hear me, but needing to say it anyway. I heaved a sigh, then dragged myself to my feet going to the sink to splash cold water on my face. Looking at myself in the mirror, I assessed the damage and decided that even if I was a tad too pale under the damnable flush of my cheeks, I was still in good enough shape to go back out there. I didn't know what I was going to do with this new self-realization and Taichi yet, but life goes on.

Opening the door slowly, I straightened myself out and nearly marched down the hall, bypassing the kitchen and living room to go straight for the apartment door. "You two ready to go?" I called over my shoulder, choosing a light jacket for myself from the closet and stepping into my shoes. Taichi and Takeru joined me at the door.

"Yep! This should be fun!" Takeru smiled enthusiastically.

"You okay, Matt?" Taichi asked me, a thread of worry in his otherwise normal voice – which for some odd reason made little tingles run up and down my spine.

"Yeah. Fine! Why?" I checked to make sure I had my wallet and keys.

"I don't know…something just…never mind!" He shook his head and scratched at the back of his neck ruefully. "I'm just not fully functional yet. My brain's mush."

I noticed Takeru glancing back and forth between us, lingering on me for a moment, then a barely hidden eye-roll. I wasn't going to call him on that – not with Taichi standing right there. Now at least I understood his earlier implied statement, and I dreaded him opening his big mouth when I wasn't prepared to deal with the consequences.

"Off we go, then!" I opened the door sharply and led the way. "Paint store, here we come."

* * *

**Kali Notes:** I'm so very sorry for the long period since the last update. Kali had to take a much needed break – I was getting a little too close to burning out for my comfort. But I think I'm back, so more to come! Thanks for your patience everyone! **Please R/R!!!!**

**Relevant Episodes: **Season 01, episodes 23, 43-45. Season 02, episodes 08, 21, 48-49.


	8. Chapter 8

**Kali Notes:** Well, I actually used up the rest of my notebook on this chapter. Yay! I get to start a new one with the next chapter! What is it about fresh notebooks that makes writing so much better? Happy reading!

**Warnings: **Yaoi, adult language, adult situations, and cavity-inducing WAFF.

**Disclaimer:** Kali & muses do not own Digimon or its characters. We're just borrowing them for the sake of this fic.

**Pairings:** Taito! With DaiKen, Takari, and mentioning of Joe/Mimi & Izzy/Miyako.

* * *

_**Chapter 08**_

We bought a lot of paint. Four big cans of it in two different colours. I was sure there'd be enough for mine and Taichi's rooms, but better to be safe than sorry. Since classes didn't start again until Wednesday, we decided the best day to get the painting thing done was Sunday – tomorrow. That way the paint would dry fast enough that we could move my stuff back in and add furniture and stuff to Taichi's before we _did_ have to go back and life returned to being hectic and stressful. As soon as we get back to the apartment, Takeru started hogging the phone while furiously typing text messages and emails on his D-terminal.

Multi-tasking. Digi-destined style.

It was after one in the afternoon when we got back, and while Takeru organized this painting party of his, I busied myself baking cookies. Taichi sat at the counter and watched me with amusement.

"He bakes, too. You'll make an excellent wife to someone, Matt." He teased. I paused in my vigorous mixing of batter long enough to level a glare at him.

"It's a survival skill, Taichi. You really ought to learn to cook and stuff for yourself, you know." I ignored his snickering and began rolling out dough. He rolled his eyes at me.

"I do know how. You think I'd survived this long on my mother's cooking?" It had been an automatic joking response, but I looked up in time to see his face fall and shoulders tense. Wiping my hands quickly, I reached across the counter and laid a hand over his fist where it rested.

"Hey." I waited until his eyes met mine. "Sorry. I didn't mean to bring that up."

His fist uncurled and grasped my hand tightly. "I know. Don't worry about it, Yama. I can't just ignore her presence in my life, after all." He gave me a weak smile. "I'm okay. Really."

I nodded and squeezed briefly before I let go. "I know it's hard, but I really think after talking to your Dad today something good will happen." I went back to cutting out cookies and placing them on cookie sheets.

"I hope you're right, Yama."

Trying to lighten the mood, I figured being my egotistical self was the best way to go. So I snorted indelicately before replying, "Of course I am. I'm _always_ right."

Success! I heard a muffled, "Yeah, sure." And some badly concealed chuckles.

I was putting the second sheet of cookies in the oven when the doorbell rang. I glanced up and said, "Hikari. Let her in, would you?" Taichi was already up and heading for the door.

"Wow, does it smell good in here!" Hikari exclaimed as she appeared behind her brother a few seconds later. "Do I get to sample, Matt?"

"Of course." I bent and gave her a brief peck on the cheek in greeting. "At least _someone_ can appreciate my efforts." I drawled, beginning to scrape cookies of the first sheet onto a cooling rack. I caught Taichi making faces at me and waved the flipper in my hand at him threateningly.

Hikari laughed at our antics. She looked relieved to see her big brother acting more like himself, and I winked at her to let her know I was doing my best. Her smile softened and she gave me a barely perceptible nod of acknowledgement.

Takeru appeared behind her and he wrapped his arms around her in a surprise bear hug. "Hey, Light of my life! Are you refereeing these two again?"

"Nah." Hikari blushed prettily at the endearment, but made no move to escape his embrace. "Matt's making cookies and I think I may eat them all because they smell really yummy!"

"You'll share, won't you?" He pouted at her and she giggled.

"Oh…sure."

Smiling at them fondly, I dumped the cookie sheet in the dishwasher and decided we needed tea and milk for these cookies.

"Well, I did say Matt was going to make a good wife for someone someday." Taichi's grin was evil, and I glared at him again in dread. "After all, he cooks and bakes, he cleans, he does the shopping, and the laundry…"

"Yagami…" I growled, feeling the blush rise up my neck.

"…_and_ he always tries to look his best." Taichi ignored the steam coming out my ears. "There's only one question left that I'd want to know the answer to."

My beloved little brother angled a curious – and not a little amused – look at him. "What's that?" That's it. No cookies for Takeru. I absolutely dreaded Taichi's response because the one thing my mind went to along his line of reasoning was _not_ one I thought our younger siblings needed to hear – let alone _me_. And that was: uke or seme?

"Well…" He began mischievously. I growled again, fully prepared to throw the nearest handy object at him. "…that is…does he…"

"Finish that and I'll drown you." I threw my oven mitts at him and reached for the cookie flipper. My face flamed.

Laughing raucously, the brat practically sang, "…do windows, too?" Brown eyes sparkled in mirth as he looked at me with a raised eyebrow. "Why Matt! Whatever was going through your mind?"

I could see quite clearly that he knew _exactly_ what I'd thought he was going to say, and I stuck my nose in the air in a supreme snit. "No cookies for you, Taichi."

Our siblings were trying not to fall over laughing at us, and Takeru pulled Hikari toward the living room, shaking his head. Taichi came around the counter to corner me, picking up the dishcloth. I eyed him warily, unconsciously pressing back into the counter as he raised it and brought it near my face.

"What are you doing?" I watched his face instead of his hand, wondering at the slight stain of pink that was peeking out under the tan of his skin, fascinated by it. He was standing so close to me, practically leaning over me as the cloth gently touched my cheek than my nose.

"As cute as it is, you have flour all over your face." Taichi replied softly, gently wiping the stuff away. My eyes went from wide to half-closed unbidden as his hand seemed to linger. Staring into molten, honey-brown eyes, I couldn't seem to think properly anymore. "Matt?"

"Uh huh?" I managed to respond absently. Wow, does he have thick, long eyelashes. And there's specks of gold in his eyes. I'd never noticed that before. So gorgeous…

"So do you?" I heard his low voice from a distance, like we were on opposite ends of a tunnel. He dropped the cloth on the counter behind me someplace, and his arms trapped me between them, him, and the counter. Swallowing thickly, I made a questioning sound.

"Huh?" I gave my head a shake. "Do I what?" Was it me or was he leaning in like…like…oh god! Was he going to…? I sucked in a breath, trembling partly in fear and partly in anticipation.

"Windows." Taichi stopped leaning into me and flashed the wickedest, most shit-eating grin he could. "Do you do windows, Yama?"

Did I hear that right? I blinked, then stared in shock.

I did. He was trying not to laugh in my face at whatever expression I must be wearing. The little… _**Death**_. I went from nervous lust, to shock, to vengeful fury in a mere five seconds flat. For this, he would not only be denied cookies, but oxygen because I was going to _strangle_ him.

He must have caught on because he danced quickly out of reach and dodged expertly when I lunged at his throat. Laughing in pure elfish delight he began trying to placate me and my temper.

"Okay! Okay! I'm sorry! Cool down, Ishida!" He ducked the cookie flipper I sent flying at his head. "Hey!"

"Death!" I snarled at him. "Death!"

"Yama…your cookies are burning…" He pointed at the oven, which was enough to distract me so he could make his escape. Howling, I dove for my oven mitts on the floor and tried to rescue my cookies. Taichi – wisely – disappeared to the relative safety of the living room and our siblings.

Thankfully, they didn't get too crispy (the cookies, that is). Grumbling and stomping around the kitchen, I finished with the baking and cleaning up just as the doorbell rang again. I left the kitchen to open the door and admit Mr. Yagami.

"Matt." He greeted me, almost warily. There must have been something in my expression that warned him off.

"Mr. Yagami. Please come in. Taichi and Hikari are in the living room with my brother." I let him pass me and gestured in the direction of the living room – which I noted had gone very quiet. "I'll be right there."

He nodded and went to join his kids, while I called my brother in to the kitchen to help me carry out the tea, milk, and cookies for everyone. As we set things out on the coffee table and poured drinks I noticed Taichi staring at the floor between his feet, while Hikari looked very much like she didn't know what to do with her male family members. Once Takeru and I had finished serving everyone, I sat on the sofa beside Taichi and waited for someone to start things off. Thankfully, it was Taichi who took the initiative.

"Alright. So you wanted to talk to me?" He made it a question in an attempt to not sound too defensive.

Mr. Yagami cleared his throat and nodded, looking very uncomfortable. It seemed (to me) like he didn't know how to deal with his children anymore. "I want to know what's going on, Taichi. I want to hear from you what happened that was so dire that you would leave home so abruptly and pull your sister along with you." He studied his son in confusion and a little bit of anger. "I've heard what Hikari has said, and all your Mom will tell me is that you've been so rude and disrespectful lately."

Taichi snorted disdainfully at that and I silently agreed with him. "She kicked me out, Dad. I told her I was going to as live with Matt for a while until I could get my own place, and she…" he had to pause and collect himself. "She told me not to come back." We listened as the Child of Courage lived up to his attribute and explained it all – from her paranoia to the way she'd been acting recently. I could see how much it was hurting him, and I had to catch myself a few times from simply gathering him into my arms and squeezing him to death. Hikari frequently looked shocked at some of Taichi's revelations – things she obviously hadn't known about.

When he fell silent, his father looked stunned and deeply saddened. Hikari was crying silently, and Takeru looked s helpless as I felt to do anything about it.

"I…don't know what I can say, Taichi, except that I'm sorry." Mr. Yagami shook his head dazedly. "I honestly had no idea things had become like this with your mother." His face was pale and stressed. "I guess…I don't pay enough attention to things at home."

He guesses? I frowned, but kept my mouth shut. For Taichi's sake. Bad enough _one_ of his parents thinks I'm a bad influence.

Taichi stayed quiet. I glanced at him, noticing that he was trying really hard to keep his emotions in check. Hikari saw it too, and did the one thing he needed most that only she could do.

She got up, went over to him, and crawled into his lap, her arms binding around his shoulders tightly and her face burying into the crook of his neck and shoulder. I saw him shiver, his eyes closing painfully, and suddenly he was squeezing her back and hiding his face in her hair. I heard a sob, muffled, and my chest ached for them. But at least Taichi was finally able to release all that emotion and loneliness that's been festering inside him for so long.

Glancing at Mr. Yagami, I could see that he looked positively helpless and lost. He seemed to know perfectly well that he would not be welcomed in his children's moment, and I half-wondered when the last time he spent any time with them had been. I was beginning to see that our leaders family was not the picture perfect, model family that we'd all assumed it to be, because whenever we'd seen them together (until recently) there were no indications of anything that would say otherwise. But now I could see there were deeper, less evident scars and issues amongst them, and I wondered why I hadn't seen it before.

Taichi was shaking with the force of his quiet sobs. Hikari may have been sitting in his lap, but it was obvious that _he_ was in _her_ arms rather than the other way around. His little sister was trying her best to soothe him, letting him cling to her and cry while she stroked his hair and murmured quietly in his ear. And true to her name, I could feel her Light flooding the room and blanketing us in comfort and calm and caring. I met my little brother's gaze and he smiled sadly. Takeru's blue eyes so much like my own, held a peaceful, intensely wise knowledge in them that belied the innocence and naivety he is often underestimated for. Some sort of agreement must have passed between us because we were moving as one before I realized it to curl our own arms around our closest friends and fellow Chosen. Leaning my head on Taichi's shoulder, I felt him shift an arm from around Hikari and wrap it around my middle, his hand fisting in my shirt. I closed my eyes and hoped he could understand what we were all trying to tell him in our big, puppy-pile of hugging Digi-destined.

_Everything will be okay, Taichi. I know it will..._

_I love you, big brother. Please, don't be sad anymore..._

_I'm here, Tai. No matter what. Always…_

I felt his arm tighten as a final ragged sob erupted from him and we all pulled back a little so we could all breathe. He was looking around at us as if he couldn't believe how much we cared about him. I rolled my eyes and gave him a shaky smirk.

"Stop beating yourself up, Yagami. You know – _know_ – that you mean the world to us. So just accept it and move on." I ordered, wagging a finger under his nose. Hikari was giggling as she climbed off her brother and squeezed herself in between him and Takeru. The four of us were squished onto the sofa now, but I don't think any of us minded.

Taichi wiped at his cheeks and eyes furiously, actually smiling freely for the first time in forever. It was a shadow of his old smile, but it made my heart soar to see even that much of him again. "I don't deserve it. But I'm not stupid enough to turn it away. Thanks, guys."

"Don't make me hit you, Taichi."

"I'm trying, Matt."

Hikari looked at her father, who appeared to desperately want to say something but was holding back, unsure of his welcome among us. "Daddy…fix this. Please? I know Mom is having issues but what she's done to Taichi is unacceptable."

"Hikari, sweetheart.." Mr. Yagami sighed and ran his hands through his hair. "I know. I really do see the problems and I know something has to be done, but…I don't know how to deal with this."

"Mom needs help." Hikari responded, leaning against Takeru comfortably. "Professional help. She needs to talk to someone about her fears and paranoia, and maybe then she can learn how to deal with it all more effectively."

"Yes, but…who?" Mr. Yagami stood and went to the balcony doors to stare outside. "Her issues are about you kids and everything that happened when you…"

"Saved two worlds, travelled back and forth between them, made friends with Digimon…" Taichi had a flare for sarcasm that sometimes outdid _mine_.

"I was going to say 'had your adventures,' but yes." Mr. Yagami glanced back over his shoulder. "You don't have to get sarcastic about it."

Taichi's expression was neutral – carefully so – but I could feel the tension in his body squished against mine.

"So you think it will be difficult to find a professional who would believe the tale of our 'adventures' enough to actually help Mom, rather than just writing her off as loony and admitting her to the nearest psych ward?" Hikari sighed in understanding.

"It's true." Takeru frowned. "Despite everything that happened and how well covered it all was by the media, there are still a lot of people who don't believe it happened, and many more who have deliberately forgotten it all to return to their lives as they'd been before. And psychologists and such are uniquely averse to believing in such things as an parallel universe with strange creatures."

"Exactly." Mr. Yagami nodded.

Taichi shrugged negligently. "Well, whatever you do for her, I'm staying here with Matt, until I can get my own place," he clasped one of Hikari's hands in his own. "In the meantime, Hikari can stay with Sora, then came to stay with me, if she wants."

"I don't have any problems with that, if Matt's father and Sora's parents don't mind." Mr. Yagami agreed easily. "It's probably best if you kids aren't around for a while until I figure out how to help your mother." He pulled out his wallet. "Do you need any money? Because honestly, Taichi, I'd prefer to see you putting all your concentration into school and soccer, and not have the added stress of getting a job."

Taichi squirmed. I knew he didn't want to take anything from the man, but he didn't want to refuse the gesture of caring either. "No, I've got enough for at least a month, thanks anyway." He finally answered. His father's expression was sad and disappointed, but he seemed to understand.

"Wait! Taichi, what about that summer soccer camp? Don't you have to let your coach know for sure if you're going when we get back to classes?" Hikari asked.

"Soccer camp?"

"Yeah. Coach told us about it just before classes ended for the holiday." Taichi explained about it, some of his excitement about it returning some animation to his expression. "Scouts, Dad! University team scouts! It could be a big break for me…but…" his face fell again.

"Mom freaked out about it being another camp, Daddy." Hikari finished explaining when her brother couldn't seem to say anything more. "He didn't even get to tell her about the scouts before she was flat out forbidding him to go."

Mr. Yagami looked appalled. "I'm so sorry, Taichi. I wish…well." He gathered himself together and gave his son a smile. "Of course you're going. I'd be an even worse father if I refused to help my son get further in life when the opportunity arises. So you find out all the details and let me know, alright? When it is, how much, where it is, if you need any equipment or whatever…"

Taichi stared at his father, like he couldn't believe he was actually going to be reasonable, let alone supportive. Then he was suddenly pushing himself away from us and the sofa, and moving to toss his arms around his father's strong shoulders. Mr. Yagami blinked in surprise but soon was hugging his son tightly. Hikari was smiling tenderly at her family and snuggling closer to Takeru, who held her and watched silently. I grew a little misty-eyed, too, I admit.

Once we'd all settled down a bit, I insisted we all have our tea and cookies. As I munched on my second (I didn't enforce my 'no cookie' punishment on Taichi), I had an idea about who might know of a counselor or psychiatrist who could help Mrs. Yagami.

"Taichi, do you think Joe might know someone your mom could talk to?" I asked carefully. He frowned thoughtfully and reached for his third cookie.

"Maybe."

"We wouldn't have to tell him details, but we could ask him." I suggested. Taichi nodded slowly.

"It…doesn't matter if you tell him everything, Matt. The others will find out anyway." He glanced at Hikari. "Does it bother you if we ask Joe?"

"Not at all." His sister patted him on the knee fondly. "I actually don't know why _I_ didn't think of that."

"Dad? Do you mind? You can trust our friends not to go talking about it outside of the group." Taichi glanced at his father.

"No. It's fine, Taichi. I trust your friends. They've helped take very good care of you and your sister for so long now, after all. And I could certainly use some help finding someone for your mother."

I reached over to the side table where one of our cordless phone handsets rested, handing it to Taichi. "Do you want to talk to him, or shall I?" He took the phone and got up.

"I will. I'll just…go into your room, though."

I nodded and followed him – for moral support. Once there, I took a seat on my bed beside Taichi. "If you want, you could just ask him to came over. It might be easier to talk face to face."

"Yeah. I was thinking that, too. If he's got time…" Taichi shrugged and dialed Joe's number. He had a point. The guy had very little spare time with all his classes and stuff. Then again, it was _Joe_ we were talking about. He isn't the Child of Reliability for nothing.

"Hi, Mrs. Kido, it's Taichi. Yes, ma'am. Is Joe home? If he's not busy, can he come to the phone? Okay, thanks." Taichi glanced at me. "She's gone to see what he's doing."

"I still don't know why he's really going through all that studying to be a doctor. I don't think he really wanted to be one." I made a face at the idea. "Even if he is good at it."

"Who knows? At least he's got goals. And it's a fairly solid career." Taichi snickered evilly. "Pays well, too, which he'll need to keep Mimi in designer everything and her luxury lifestyle."

I gave a half-hearted, "Taichi!" as a scolding for being mean to Joe and Mimi. "We both know she's not _that_ much of a diva."

"I know, I know. Oh! Hey, Joe. No nothing's wrong and no one's hurt." We both rolled our eyes at that." Yeah the painting thing's still on. Actually, I called because…" he paused to swallow thickly and clear his throat. "Well, I need some advice from someone in the medical profession. A referral of sorts. What? No! No, honestly, Joe! I'm not sick and neither is Hikari or any one of the others. If you have some time, you could come to Matt's and I'll explain better. You can? Are you sure? I don't want to interfere with your… Okay! Okay! Sheesh." I blinked at the flush that crept up his neck and even tinged his ears pink. I could hear Joe's voice – though not his words – and it sounded like he was giving Taichi a piece of his mind. I grinned. Someday maybe Taichi would learn just how much we all care for him and how far we'd go or how much we'd do for him.

"I'm sorry, alright? Okay. See you in a few." Taichi hung up and huffed, still flushed in embarrassment. Somehow I managed to refrain from snickering. "He's coming over."

"Cool. We'd better go save some cookies for him." I stood and stuck out a hand in offer, not even thinking about it. Taichi gave me a curious look but took it and let me pull him to his feet.

As I turned to start for the door, I was tugged to a halt. Turning back to Taichi, I asked, "What?"

His thumb was gently rubbing back and forth over my knuckles absently, and his eyes were watching me closely as if searching for something. "Taichi?" I asked again, concerned and confused. "What is it?"

"Yama…this probably isn't the best time or place, but…" he looked down at his feet for a moment, shuffling them in a nervous kind of way. His nerves were making _me_ nervous, a few hundred butterflies fluttering upward from my stomach into my throat and making my heartbeat madly in my chest.

"Tai…whatever it is…" I assured in a voice that I didn't recognize. Can my voice really get that husky and deep? Taichi didn't seem to notice – or if he did, he didn't indicate it.

"Um…I just want to…I want to tell you what your support and friendship has meant to me through all this and I can't seem to…find the words." He held up his free hand and waved it at me when I opened my mouth to protest. "No! Don't. It's not that same argument that I mean. I only wanted for you to understand that…" Taichi glanced away and growled in frustration at his inability to find the words to communicate his thoughts and feelings. "…that I'm grateful, and honoured, and…proud." Now his eyes met mine and the full force of his courageous spirit burned fiercely into my own eyes through that warm gaze. "Proud to be someone that you consider worth all the trouble and proud to be someone you trust enough to open your whole life to without hesitation."

"I…" Staring at him in shock and dumbfounded embarrassment, I felt tears begin to burn and an ache settle in my chest. Did he really value himself so little? Was all that self-confidence really little more than a mask? And then it hit me. Despite everything he'd done in life, everything he'd accomplished or suffered with the courage that made him the Chosen of that attribute, he was by far the one out of us all that was most lost and insecure, and for all his abilities, skills, and talents, he had never really felt he belonged anywhere. He never really considered himself worthy of his position as our leader, or as my best friend, or even as Hikari's big brother.

"Yama?" There was a tremor in his voice that shocked me back to paying attention to him and when I looked all I could see was the raw, revealed fear and uncertainty in his eyes, in his expression…hell, in his whole body. He sounded very much like he was afraid he'd crossed some line with me and now I would turn away. Well he was about to learn otherwise, if I had to smother him with affection to do it.

Not that I had issues with that or anything…

"You idiot." I grinned – probably the most ridiculous looking one I've ever grinned – and yanked him forward into my arms, crushing him in a hug that probably squished several vital organs against each other. I had a feeling I knew exactly what he needed so I attempted to give it to him. Reassurance, acceptance, and the simple comfort of human touch. I poured it into him with all the love and trust and welcome I had, one hand slipping under his shirt to find bare skin and stroke soothingly up and down all over his back while the other hand stroked and carded through that wild hair of his. A huge shudder rocked his body into mine and suddenly his arms came up to curl tightly around me, threatening to crack a rib or three. His breath was hot and damp where it gusted from him with his face buried against my neck.

As tremors of release wracked him I held on and vaguely noticed we were rocking slightly in place. His hands were clutching desperately at my back, with fistfuls of my shirt clenched in his fingers as if he feared I would disappear if he let go. Dear god…how long had he been suffering this terrible, soul-wrenching need for? And why the _hell_ hadn't I noticed sooner? I was going to fix this, even if it took my every breath and every minute of my life from now until I died.

And I started in a way that came so naturally it should have scared the absolute crap out of me, but didn't.

When the shivers finally stopped, and he all but crawled into my clothes with me when he snuggled as close to me as he could, I gently placed a palm to either side of his head and drew him away just enough that I could lean in – without a second thought or hesitation – and tenderly press my lips to his in a kiss that was totally non-sexual yet one which rocked me right to the core. It was soft, and gentle, and it was no more or less than Taichi's full mouth pressing against mine with such chaste and deep affection that something in my very soul went calm and totally peaceful…then suddenly flared so hot and bright I was sure a star had just been born somewhere. My skin was humming with this emotional energy, and from the sounds Taichi was making he was feeling all this, too – probably more acutely.

I don't know how long we stood there for, pressed together from lips to feet, but we did finally separate, with only enough space between us that one could barely slip a broom handle through easily. Our hands were still linked, fingers entwined comfortably, and we were smiling at each other with what had to be a sickeningly sweet amount of pure sappiness. The feelings rushing through me were achingly familiar until I realized…this was exactly the same as when we did the whole Jogress thing with WarGreymon and MetalGarurumon, the DNA Digivolution that merged not only our digital buds but our very beings, too. I could remember the feel of our heartbeats pulsing as one, our breaths as one constant, singular rhythm, and thoughts running down the same track. What I felt now was the same thing only more intense somehow.

Suddenly Taichi began to snicker, then to laugh. There was such joy in the sound that I couldn't help laughing, too. We practically chortled ourselves out of breath, falling against one another in a mirth with no real origin. When it finally rolled to a close (sides aching and eyes leaking), our gazes met and held with ease and relief. Taichi gave me a rueful, apologetic smile, looking at me with an amazingly shy expression, and I shook my head, drawing him in for another affectionate hug.

"Idiot." I repeated fondly, ruffling his hair.

* * *

**Kali Notes:** Okay, so I took pity on everyone after teasing you all so long. You get a kiss! Maybe not quite exactly the one we're all thinking of, but don't worry! That kind is on the way soon… **Please R/R!!!!**

**Relevant Episodes: **Not this time!


	9. Chapter 9

**Kali Notes:** Here's another installment! Thank you all so much for such encouraging comments and reviews. I really am honoured that so many of you are enjoying this.

**Warnings:**Yaoi, adult language, adult situations, and cavity-inducing WAFF.

**Disclaimer:** Kali & muses do not own Digimon or its characters. We're just borrowing them for the sake of this fic.

**Pairings:** Taito! With DaiKen, Takari, and mentioning of Joe/Mimi & Izzy/Miyako.

* * *

_**Chapter 09**_

Taichi and I found our siblings and his father at the door when we finally left my room. Takeru blinked at us, then gave me a questioning tilt of his head and slight hand gesture directed at Taichi. I just shook my hand and mouthed 'later' at him.

"Are you leaving so soon?" Taichi asked his father, not noticing our silent exchange behind him.

"Yes. I'm afraid I have some business to get done before I go home." The poor man looked rather exhausted. "I'll try to talk to your mother tonight, kids, but I can't guarantee anything."

"It's alright, Dad." Taichi gave him a small smile. "I don't expect her to change overnight. Joe is coming over soon, and we'll talk about finding a counselor or someone."

"That's fine. Let me know what you find out." Mr. Yagami pulled out two business cards from his pocket, handing one to each of his children. "If you need anything, call me at work – anytime, okay?"

"Yeah, sure." Taichi nodded, though I knew well enough he probably wouldn't. "Thanks, Dad."

"Well, you kids take care of each other, and stay out of trouble." Mr. Yagami said gruffly, letting Hikari give him a giant hug. He and Taichi eyed each other for a second, then did that manly, split-second, barely-there hug, complete with back slapping and handshakes.

I somehow refrained from rolling my eyes at the two Yagami males – neither of whom would ever admit to being a lot more like each other than they thought.

Mr. Yagami left without much further ado, and we kids – age notwithstanding – returned to the living room to clean up the cookies and tea.

When that was done, I started making more tea while Taichi restocked the cookie plate for Joe's arrival.

"Guys, Hikari and I are going to go out for a while, and we'll stop to get some snacks and drinks for the party tomorrow. Did you want anything?" Takeru asked as he and Hikari went by the kitchen.

Taichi shook his head, but I poked my head into the fridge to inspect its potential for supper that night. "Um…pick out something for supper, Keru. Something I can make stew with."

"Okay." Takeru waved and followed Hikari out the door. "We'll be back in a while."

I glanced around and saw everything was ready for whenever Joe showed up, so I tugged my best friend into the living room. We ended up flopping down on the sofa – me sprawled half-sitting over most of it with Taichi leaning his back against my chest and taking up the rest of it, with his legs draped haphazardly over the edge.

"How are you doing?" I asked quietly, my fingers running through his hair and massaging his scalp lethargically. I was also selfishly enjoying the contact, because I figured there would be few opportunities like this.

He wiggled back farther, snuggling into me even more and heaved a great big sigh – of contentment. It made me smile.

"I'm good. Better…y'know…not perfect, but better." Taichi murmured. He let his hand rest on my leg, just above my knew, and squeezed. "Hey, Yama."

"Hmm?"

"Thanks for letting me…emote all over you like I did earlier. I honestly wasn't expecting to suddenly breakdown like that."

I closed my eyes and let my chin rest on top of his head. "You've been bottling up all these emotions for so long now it's a wonder you haven't exploded." I rapped my knuckles on his bicep. "No more of that, Taichi! I'm always here, and you can just emote away whenever you need to."

"What would I do without you?" He wondered. As I didn't really know how to respond – and because I somehow don't think he meant to ask that aloud – I kept quiet, my arms simply folding around him and just holding him. We lounged there in a nice, companionable silence until the doorbell rang. I reluctantly untangled myself from Taichi and got up to go let Joe inside.

"Hey, Joe. Come on in." I shut the door behind him and waited until he'd taken off his shoes and jacket before motioning him to the living room.

"Matt." Joe greeted me in return and led the way. "Something smells good."

"Cookies. I'll grab the tea and be right there."

Even from the living room their voices carried enough that I could follow the conversation in the kitchen.

"Taichi," I heard Joe say, his tone pleasantly surprised for some reason. "How are you? You look…better. Uh, not that you were bad looking before, but…" Taichi laughed (which made me grin and note that I really loved that sound) and made a reassuring reply.

"Relax, Joe. I know what you meant. And I'm good. Like you said…better."

I carried the tray of tea and cups out to join them, setting it down on the coffee table. "I'm taking good care of him, Dr. Kido. I hope it meets your approval." I grinned, teasing, and winked at Joe. Adjusting his glasses, Joe nodded sagely and accepted the teacup I passed him.

"Very much. Thanks, by the way, for getting me out of the house. I hate to admit it, but I think if I'd spent one more minute studying I may have blown a fuse." He sipped carefully then heaved a sigh of relief, leaning back in his seat on the sofa chair.

"Wow. Coming from you, that's almost scary." Taichi's eyes were wide, but there was laughter there.

"That bad, Joe?" I asked, much more sympathetic than Taichi-the-jock ever would be. "Maybe you should consider taking fewer classes at a time, just so you can manage your time a little more easily."

"I wish I could. But if I want to qualify for med-school next year, I have to do things this way." He sighed and flashed a rueful smile. "Don't worry, Matt. I'm used to hard work when it comes to my brain. I just need to get through these exams, then I'll be able to relax again."

I nodded, and we sat in silence for a bit while we munched on cookies and Joe drank his tea.

"So," Joe finally spoke up first, brushing crumbs off his pants. "What was the advice you were looking for, Taichi?"

I watched our leader out of the corner of my eye while I tied the coffee table (on the pretense of looking busy and not overtly hovering). Taichi nodded to himself as if he had been sharing himself up for the conversation and was now ready for it.

"It's…a long story, Joe. The short answer is that…my Mom needs a good counselor or psychiatrist or something." Taichi drummed his fingers on his knee, the only outward sign of his agitation. Even his eyes were calm – a tad sad, maybe, but not full of barely restrained emotion like they had been only this morning.

Joe blinked a few times, surprised. "Uh…okay. I know a couple personally, and I know of a few others, but…maybe you should explain why because I can't recommend just anyone, as one may specialize in a way to help her or be more qualified." He paused and studied both Taichi and I thoughtfully. "Is this something to do with why you and Hikari moved out?"

"Yeah. The truth is, Joe, things were getting just that bad, and I didn't feel good about leaving Hikari there to cope alone."

"Of course." The Child of Faith agreed. "Tell me about it, Taichi, and I'll do my best."

So Taichi took a deep, cleansing breath, and explained the entire situation to the bluenette – who didn't say anything or interrupt with questions until Taichi finished, simply listening and allowing him to get it all out.

"I'm so sorry that you've had to deal with all that, Taichi." Joe leaned forward, resting his forearms on his knees as he spoke. "And I agree that she needs professional help."

"Thanks, pal. Do you think any of these shrinks you know will be able to help?"

"Quite possibly. I can talk to the ones I'm thinking of, see what they think, and if they're willing to try then I'll refer you." Joe offered. "That way at least you won't have to repeat the story over and over, and your family will remain anonymous until I find someone."

"Oh, yeah! I hadn't thought of that." Taichi smiled. "We'd really appreciate it, Joe. I'm supposed to let my Dad know when I find someone, but I know he wasn't looking forward to the possibility of trying one person only for it not to work out and have to find another."

"It's no problem, Taichi! I'll just make a few phone calls tomorrow…oh. Make that the day after." Joe smiled sheepishly. "I forgot about the painting party."

"Yeah, sure. Whenever you get the time, Joe." Taichi was quick to assure him. "I will owe you _so_ big for this."

Joe shook a finger at Taichi and scowled at him proceeding to thoroughly scold him and remind him that any one of us would do much, much more for him without batting an eye. I left Joe to it, cleaning up and taking the empty cookie plate and cups to the kitchen. He maybe one of the most mild-mannered people I've ever met, but he will absolutely chew you out if you do something he thinks you're an idiot for doing. And as often as I do it to Taichi, I think he's getting less and less likely to listen. Coming from Joe, maybe he'll finally learn.

As I collapsed back down on the sofa, Taichi got up and sauntered away, tossing a "Be back! Bathroom break!" over his shoulder. When he'd disappeared down the hall, I looked back toward Joe and caught the almost speculative expression on his face as he studied me.

"What?" I demanded, a hand going to my face.

"It's nothing, Matt. I was just…considering something." Curiosity, a rare thing for Joe, lit his eyes behind his glasses. I frowned at him.

"I ask again: what?"

"Um…don't take this wrong, but…are you and Taichi…" he hesitated, "I mean, do you two…"

I raised both eyebrows and managed a, "Joe!" in a rather croaky, squeaky, what-the-hell?! kind of voice. My face felt hot, and I just knew I was blushing, damn it!

"It's no big deal if you are or not!" Joe hastily waved his hands at me, obviously trying to backtrack. "I shouldn't have asked! Sorry!"

"I…" Trying to fight off my blush and pretend I wasn't flustered was a lot more difficult than it used to be for some reason. "NO, Joe. We aren't anything of the sort." I couldn't seem to look him in the eye, either. "He doesn't like me _that_ way."

Uh oh… There must have been something in my voice or on my face because Joe was suddenly watching me very closely, and in a shrewd voice, he observed, "But _you_ like _him_ that way."

I wanted to glare at him and deny it strenuously, but all I could do was slouch, blush furiously, and mournfully whine, "Pathetically, hopelessly, yes."

One eyebrow went up. "And you haven't told him…because why?"

Now I glared. "Because I needed time to come to terms with it first, and because he isn't really in an emotional state to be dealing with _me_ right now. Not that it's any of your business…" I added in a low grumble.

"Did you consider that maybe what he needs _is_ you?" Joe asked, eyeing me. "That perhaps knowing that he has you and what you feel for him could heal things that wouldn't otherwise heal?"

I opened my mouth to reject that idea, then snapped it shut again when I heard the bathroom door open and feet padding back down the hall toward us. Instead I shot Joe a warning look of, "Keep it to yourself or die horribly."

In return, he flashed me a reassuring smile and said quietly just before Taichi appeared, "Just think about it, Matt."

Taichi dropped down next to me and sighed loudly. "So! What shall we do?"

"Actually, I should probably go home and get back to studying." Joe grimaced and reluctantly got to his feet. "At least I'll feel like I accomplished enough that I won't feel too guilty for coming to the party tomorrow."

Oh, Joe. Never change, pal.

* * *

The next day was as cheerfully hectic as per our usual Digidestined get-togethers. Bathrooms were painted in under an hour (hey, there were eleven of us, after all) and the rest of the time we spent watching old animes and commenting on how many of the various characters looked amazingly like many of our Digimon acquaintances.

At one point, I grabbed up the empty popcorn and chip bowls to go refill them in the kitchen. As I was dumping kernels into the air popper, Sora came into the kitchen carrying a bunch of empty soda cans.

"Hey." I greeted her, motioning to the counter. "Just set them there for now and I'll put them in the recycle bin later."

"Alright." She obediently placed the cans these and leaned against the counter, watching me open more chip bags and refill bowls. "I wanted to ask, Matt, how things are really going. I know Hikari said they'd talked to their Dad, and that was going to do something, but…"

Shoving about under the air popper to catch the fresh kernels, I turned to face her and folded my arms. "You want to know about Taichi, is that it?" She nodded, and I sighed. It was ridiculous and unfounded, but I had these twinges of…resentment and jealousy. I didn't like her asking and it annoyed me because there was no reason for my reaction. None at all. She had every right to ask, to be concerned. He was her oldest, closest friend, after all. And I knew for a complete and utter _fact_ that she didn't want a relationship with Taichi the way that my emotions were raging at her for. Once, a long time ago, yes. But no longer. So what the hell was my problem?

Shunting my thoughts off to some deep, dark corner to deal with later. I answered her in a calm, steady voice. "He's better, Sora. And I think that no matter what may end up happening with his mother from this point on, he'll be fine. He's made decisions and ultimately they're the best ones he could make."

Sora nodded and smiled at me in relief. "Yes. I did notice there was something much lighter about him today. I just wanted to make sure I wasn't imagining it. And if _you_ say he'll be fine then I knew it's true."

I blinked at her, momentarily surprised. "You do? I mean, why?"

Now she giggled and lightly patted me on the arm. "Because, clueless wonder, you know Taichi best, and you won't _let_ him _not_ be okay. No one, not even Hikari, has the influence that you do with him. Besides which," she grinned and winked at me, "I know exactly where your heart lies, Ishida Yamato. You can't pull one over on the Child of Love."

I felt the blood drain out of my head very quickly, leaving me light-headed and pale as I stared at her with mild – going on full out-panic. "Shh!" I hissed at her, glancing past her to make sure none of the others were paying attention. "Look, whatever you think…"

"Aht! Don't, Matt." Her face sobered and her warm eyes hardened. "Don't you dare deny it. Not to _me_ – and never to Taichi. I'm not trying to play matchmaker, here. In fact I would _never_ interfere in the natural progression of real love between two people." Sora moved to stand closer, her voice dropping in volume, conscious of our friends only a few feet away. "But when I see it, and I see someone try to deny what they fell – especially someone I care about – then I will make a point of…"

"Sticking your nose in?" I interrupted, my voice dripping sarcasm and why amusement. "Look, this isn't the time or place to be talking about this." I turned away, suddenly so embarrassed I couldn't look her in the eye. I busied myself with the popcorn machine. "I'm not…'denying' anything, alright? I'm just not ready to be announcing it to the world – let alone _him_. Right now, I'm just his best friend."

There was silence for a moment, then she asked, "You do know you can talk to me about it, right? We did work out our own…past issues, didn't we?"

I spun around and grabbed her hands in mine, horrified at the uncertainty and fear colouring her voice. "Yes, of course we did, Sora! Gods, that isn't it at all!"

She squeezed my hands. "Okay, then please talk to me, Matt? Not right this minute, but later? You know I love you and I just want to see you happy – and I _know_ he can do that, just as you do for him."

I sighed deeply, closing my eyes for a moment before I opened them again and gave her a small, reassuring smile and final squeeze of her hands, letting go to pick up bowls of snacks. "Thanks, Sora. And yes, we'll talk about it. Later."

Satisfied with that, she helped me take everything back out to the others in the living room.

* * *

Over the next couple of weeks, things settled back down into their normal routines. We went back to school for the last leg of our high school careers, beginning the dire, stressful task of studying our brain cells dead for final exams and entrance exams – university was right around the corner for most of us Chosen, after all. While neither Taichi nor I knew exactly where we wanted to apply or for what program just yet, we still planned to take the exams with everyone also. Taichi continued his soccer practices and games (since he _was_ counting on a scholarship) but I decided not to take any new gigs or concerts until after exams were done. It would have been just too much, and would have jeopardized my ability to perform with my exams. The band didn't have problems with it, either – they had their own exams to study for.

When Dad dropped in again, back from his conference or whatever, he came bearing furniture, now stuff for Taichi's room. There was a big bed (a double, which Dad's reasoning said was for the future as a guest bed once Taichi left), a desk and chair, a bookcase, and a couple of closet organizer things.

"I was on a lunch break, just walking to stretch my legs and get some air, when I found this place that was closing out. Got some great deals!" Dad beamed at us as a couple of burly delivery guys hauled it all inside and down the hall to Taichi's room. "There's probably still a few odds and ends to pick up yet, boys, but after Taichi's settled in we can figure it out."

I just smiled and kept out of the way. Taichi had that confused, disbelieving expression on his face as he watched. It was the one that meant he still didn't quite get that he was family and worth the effort. But…he didn't complain or protest, which was a step in the right direction.

Once the delivery guys were gone, Dad took care of supper while Taichi and I started unpacking his stuff and setting things up. When the bed was made with brand new sheets and blankets, I dropped down onto it with a heavy bounce.

"Ooohhh, I'm so jealous." I moaned in a petulant voice. "You're going to be sleeping in comfort, in this big, comfortable bed, and I'm stuck with my little twin bed that my feet hang off the end of."

Laughing, Taichi stretched out beside me making relaxed "ahhh!" noises. "Luxury, Yama. But hey, you can always drag the futon out if your bed gets _that_ uncomfortable."

I rolled my eyes and swatted him with a new pillow. "Gee, thanks."

A few days later, Joe dropped by with a list of psychologists, counselors, and psychiatrists for Taichi.

"I marked the three I most recommend." He'd said, pointing them out. "I talked to them and I think they're probably your best choices, Taichi."

So Taichi thanked him profusely and turned the list over to his father. By this time, Mr. Yagami had managed to talk his wife into at least attempting to talk to someone. She was not, however, willing to talk to or see Taichi yet, as well as refused to allow him to come home. Hikari, yes. Taichi, no.

I knew he was still hurt by his mother's treatment. She was acting as if he'd either died or never existed, after all. But he seems to have resigned himself to it, and rather than trying to force the issue with her, he's just doing what he could to make sure she got help and so that Hikari, at least, would no longer be estranged from her home and family.

"I'll never go back," he said one night, "but at least Hikari can."

* * *

It was nearly a month after the painting party when Sora finally managed to corner me…ahem. I mean, managed to reconcile her busy schedule with mine in order for us to get together for that 'chat' I'd gone and promised her – my own bit – mouthed fault, I admit.

Taichi was gone to a game with another school one day after school, so he wouldn't be around , and for one blissful evening I didn't have any pressing homework or studying to do. Apparently neither did Sora, because she simply latched onto me in the hallway after school and dragged my protesting self unceremoniously away.

We ended up at a nice little café just a few shops down from Sora's mother's flower shop. Ordering ourselves big, tall glasses of ice cold sodas, I settled into my seat in preparation for the inquisition I knew was coming.

Sighing, I folded my arms over my chest, leaned back in my seat, and said, "Go ahead. Shoot."

Sora frowned at me. "Matt, you don't have to act like I'm your dentist about to do a root canal on you."

"You know I'm not big on talking about my feelings, Sora. And contrary to what you seem to be thinking, I'm not this repressed, love-sick moron pining away in denial." I replied evenly.

She eyed me. "Maybe not – and I wasn't thinking anything of the sort, anyway. But I know you pretty well, Yamato, and even I didn't quite see this coming. I should have, looking back on everything, but I didn't."

"What do you mean? I'm not that obvious am I?" Dear gods! If I was, then what must Taichi think? Then again, he hadn't acted any differently with me… Sora shook her head and rolled her eyes at me.

"No, silly. Not that any of us would care if we did. In fact I think you'd discover how overjoyed we'd all be." The brunette grinned at my flabbergasted expression. "I should have figured it out because I know you both so well, and because I…am who I am." Her grin went soft as her hand came up to brush across her chest, over the spot where her Crest and Tag once hung from around her neck.

"Ah." I got it. Feeling a little foolish, I shrugged. "Still, Sora, I don't see what it is you want to talk about. So you know I've figured out some new feelings concerning my best friend." I paused as the waitress delivered our drinks before going off to serve someone else. "So what? I'm not going to do anything about it, so there's nothing to talk about."

"And that's it right there." She waggled a finger at me. "You've bought a clue, but you aren't going to tell him? Why? Nerves? Or is it something more?"

I grunted and swirled ice cubes around in my cola with the straw. "Of course I have nerves. But I have enough o Taichi in me to not let that stop me." I was only lying a little bit on that score. My nerves topping me were not the same ones for the reasons Sora was probably thinking of, after all.

"Then what? Does he know you're bi?" She asked, voice very low.

"Yes." I answered, my voice not changing. I didn't care if someone overhead.

"Maybe I should be your dentist." Sora grumbled, scowling at me. "It's like pulling teeth."

I just smiled an amused, innocent smile at her. I could practically hear her teeth grinding. So I'm a stubborn son of a bitch. Sora knew this a _long_ time ago.

"Come on, Matt! Help me understand." She tried pleading nicely. "I really believe that you telling him and being with him now, in the situation he's dealing with these days, is the best thing that could happen to him and really make him happy again. The same for you."

I downed half my soda in an attempt to avoid answering, but the Child of Love would not be denied and was glaring at me with her own stubborn-as-a-mule expression.

"Look," I began, knowing when to give in graciously – and hoping she'd drop it after. "I only recently came to grips with it. And I haven't felt like recently has been a good time to drop this particular bomb on him, _especially_ with what he's going through. He's got enough stress and things to think about without having to deal with a best friend proclaiming love and lust for him."

"And I _still_ say that nothing but good would come of you telling him." She shot back. Her wise, warm eyes studied me carefully, seeing right through me. I squirmed uncomfortably under that gaze, because I knew she was listening to whatever little inner voices came with her attribute, the ones that could loosely be termed 'instinct.' "There's something else. You have reason to believe he might not be receptive, otherwise you wouldn't be quite so…secretive."

Damn. I gave her a weak version of my Ishida glare, as I couldn't come up with the strong one in the face of her abilities. "Fine. You want to know? He's got feelings for someone. He told me about it. Not who, but I'm sure it isn't me." My glare slowly morphed from weak to actual anger. It was all aimed at me, though, and not at Sora, whose own expression became sympathetic and full of contrite apology. "Tell me, oh Chosen of Love, how do I tell him I'm in love with him when I know he won't return it?"

"I'm sorry, Matt." Sora started to apologize but I shook my head and kept talking.

"But you know, as long as I keep his friendship, it'll be enough. Nothing will come between us, not even this because I won't let it. And I want him to be happy, too, Sora." My eyes bored into hers, willing her to understand. "Probably more than anyone else – save Hikari. Since I do, I sincerely hope whoever the lucky bastard is, he's smart enough to take Taichi on, and worthy enough of Taichi's affections." My hands fisted on the tabletop in voluntarily, so hard my knuckles turned white and cracked threateningly. "And if he hurts my best friend, I'll kill him."

Sora blinked at me, somewhat shocked. "Only if you got to him first. I think all of us would want a piece. But forget that…" she raised a questioning eyebrow at me. "Him? Taichi's got a thing for a guy?"

Now _I_ blinked. Oops. Taichi was gonna bust my balls but good if he found out I spilled to Sora. Flushing, I hastily informed Sora of that. "Yes, but for the love of…_me_, please keep it to yourself! He finds out I leaked that info and I won't live long enough to tell him anything!"

Sora gave me an insulted look. "Of course not. You know better, Yamato."

My answering smile was sheepish and very embarrassed.

"How do you know it _isn't_ you, then?" She went on with her interrogation. "I mean, he told you it's a guy, but he didn't tell you _who_, exactly…"

I frowned…because she had a point. That _was_ all I really knew for sure. Then again, _my_ instincts when it came to Taichi never spoke of anything other than deep friendship. I had enough of _Sora_ in me to know when friendship bled into something more. Which is precisely what I told her.

"I'd know the difference." I insisted. "Besides, if it was me, then he had the perfect opportunity to tell me when we were talking about it in the first place."

Sora considered that for a moment, thoughtfully sipping at her soda. Then she sighed. "I can't really say for sure one way or another. But Matt, sometimes it's easier to see things in others than it is to see things when it pertains to ourselves." She reached across the table and squeezed my arm. "I get why you don't want to tell him, and I'm sorry I pushed."

I shrugged. "You were worried. It's okay. Now you know, so please, Sora, just let it lie? Time will tell all."

She nodded in agreement, giving me a final pat. "True. Just…don't give up hope, okay? Besides," a wicked gleam entered her eyes. "If he lets you get away he's an idiot."

Laughing in wry amusement, I ordered another soda.

* * *

**Kali Notes:** Hey! Things are progressing...but who knows how long this lull will last? And hey! This update is part of my latest Chaos Wave! So go check out my other updates. Ride the Wave... **Please R/R!!!!**


	10. Chapter 10

**Kali Notes:** Hey, everyone! This 'life sucks' excuse is getting old, but there it is again. Thank you for your patience in waiting for updates! Enjoy!

**Warnings:**Yaoi, adult language, adult situations, and cavity-inducing WAFF.

**Disclaimer:** Kali & muses do not own Digimon or its characters. We're just borrowing them for the sake of this fic.

**Pairings:** Taito! With DaiKen, Takari, and mentioning of Joe/Mimi & Izzy/Miyako.

* * *

**_Chapter 10_**

Days and weeks passed relatively quickly and without serious incident. Summer was rapidly approaching, and final exams were almost over. So far so good with all of my classes – even math, which Ken was tutoring me in, still a genius even though he was no longer walking on the darkside. I was probably going to graduate with honours, one of those in the upper echelons of our class. Top ten certainly, as were Izzy and Sora (though Izzy was likely to be more like top five than ten). Mimi and Taichi were both sure they wouldn't quite make the top ten list, but they'd be close enough. And with the size of our class in our school, that's impressive enough for most universities. That, plus the scholarship Taichi was counting on would get him admitted to wherever he wanted if he could keep his grades with the entrance exams.

Izzy could write his own ticket and pretty much go wherever he felt like. Both Sora and I had to be a little more choosey about it, but we had good options and alternatives. Plus, Sora had a couple of tennis bursaries she'd won and saved up. My parents had education fund saved up for both Keru and I, and I had some of my own money saved from gigs and album sale royalties – meager though that was.

Mimi was, in a word, rich. She could afford to go wherever she wanted – wherever in the _world_. She hadn't decided quite yet what she wanted to do, but Joe accidently dropped the fact that she'd been spending an awful lot of time in her kitchen lately and seemed to have her nose in a cookbook rather than a textbook more often than not. And watching cooking shows on TV. He warned us that she was going to be looking for guinea pigs soon to taste-test her efforts.

I just shrugged and said, "At least it's a more viable career path then Daisuke and his noodle cart franchise. Not to mention Mimi is better with food than fashion."

I'm not stupid enough to say so in her hearing range, of course. Hey! I have nothing against pink, but there's such a thing as overkill!

As for Joe, he's really on his way to med school. He made it through all his pre-med classes and exams, and he's gotten in at a local children's hospital as an intern. We're all ridiculously proud of him.

The situation with Taichi's mother hasn't improved, but at least it's calmed down. Mr. Yagami stopped by one evening to see Taichi (to find out how school was and all), and delivered what my irreverent best friend called 'the Mom Report.'

"Dr. Murata says there's been little of an improvement in your mother's case." He said sadly, sounding bone-weary with life. "She says there's a great deal of anger and a lack of understanding about what happened to you kids, and that it all seems to e directed at you, Taichi, because you're the eldest child."

My friend stared down at the floor, shrugging absently. "Kind of figured that out for myself."

His father sighed and nodded gravely. "That's what I said. But the Doctor had much more to say. She thinks your mom may have suffered a breakdown without any of us even noticing, and she suspects she's suffering from depression, too."

Taichi just nodded, seeming to have nothing to say to it, completely apathetic. I couldn't fault him for that.

"What does the doc say about treatment?" I inquired. "If you don't mind my asking…"

"Well, she's still in the diagnosis stage, but she says there's options. Dr. Murata said she has to determine the exact why and how of the breakdown, and the same of the depression, before she can make any definitive decisions. For now, she's recommended continued therapy sessions, and prescribed some mild anti-depressants to keep her calm and hopefully ward off mood swings."

Taichi didn't like the idea of the drugs, but didn't say anything until after his dad had left. However, he did bring up what he saw as the root of all his mother's issues with him – Hikari.

"She's never really forgiven me, has she." It was more a statement than question, and said so quietly I almost didn't hear it. His father looked rather upset but he didn't deny it.

"I don't know, Taichi. Maybe not. Hikari's fragile health has always been a great worry for your mother – and me – ever since she was born."

This I knew, but I wasn't entirely sure what exactly they were talking about. I opened my mouth to ask, but Taichi beat me to it.

"Dad, I was what? Six? I was just a little kid. I worried just as much about Kari as you did, but I wasn't old enough to understand the real seriousness of her condition!" Obviously traumatized by whatever he was talking about (and I was beginning to have my suspicions), it seemed that Taichi's mother wasn't the only one who hadn't forgiven him for whatever it was he did. "All I knew was that she wasn't feeling very well so she stayed home while you and Mom were out, and I wanted to go outside even though I was supposed to baby-sit. I thought I was doing the right thing taking her with me instead of leaving her at home alone. I didn't know taking her outside to play would…would…" he took a shaky breath as his voice cracked and a deep shudder ran through him. "I didn't know she'd get worse and collapse like that." He whispered. My eyes went wide as I put the pieces together and picture the situation. My arm slid around Taichi in silent support and comfort. He leaned into me, sniffling.

"I know, son. Your mother knows, too, but…she can't seem to get past it." Mr. Yagami looked extremely sad and resigned. "We were angry and frightened when we got to the hospital, Taichi, and you did deserve some of that anger for not staying inside like you were told to, but…"

"I didn't deserve to be slapped." Taichi looked away, and my jaw dropped open. He'd actually been hit by his mother? A six-year-old who had been given a responsibility beyond his age and had made a simple mistake that turned into a huge one had been slapped, in public, in anger and fear, by someone who should have been consoling the little boy who was probably a hundred times more afraid and upset than she was.

Right then and there, Mrs. Yagami earned my eternal enmity.

"She slapped me and then barely talked to me for nearly a month after you brought Hikari home. Like I didn't have enough guilt and blame already from myself." There were tears in his eyes, but they didn't fall, and his eyes burned fierce and bright when he looked up at his father almost defiantly. "I learned. And I've done everything – everything – I possibly could since to care for and protect Kari." His hand was trembling as he reached for his glass of water on the table. "Do you remember what Kari said to me the day you brought her home from the hospital, Dad?"

Mr. Yagami frowned, obviously trying to recall. "I…no. I'm sorry, Taichi, I don't."

"When we were outside, just before she collapsed, I was teaching her how to kick a soccer ball. We were only a few feet apart, and we hadn't been doing anything more strenuous than kicking that ball back and forth." Taichi rubbed a hand over his face and drank some of his water. "After a couple of passes, Kari suddenly kicked the ball a little wildly. I scolded her for not doing it right as I went to get the ball, but when I turned back, I saw…" he swallowed hard, reliving the moment. "She lay on the ground, not moving. One of the other kids' parents saw her collapse and called an ambulance, but I was freaking out. For a while there, I'd forgotten my baby sister was ill, and there I was getting mad at her for not kicking a damn soccer ball correctly." He laughed then, but not like there was something funny and was more than a little self-mocking. "And when she came home, still very sick and exhausted, the first thing she says to me is 'I'm sorry, Tai. I'll kick the ball better next time!'"

_Oh my god._ I thought, horrified and in complete understanding now of why Taichi is the way he is with Hikari. True, I'd heard something of this story from Izzy once, but not all of it. And it was just like our beautiful little Child of Light to not be upset with her brother for what had happened (understanding where others were failing to), and to in fact _apologize_ to Taichi, when – I'm perfectly positive – he couldn't have cared less about soccer for once in his life. The guild Taichi must be carrying around all this time must be worse than Atlas with the world on his shoulders. And now here he is, over a decade later, and his mother still doesn't see that nor understand. It was absolutely tragic, and I could feel tears in my own eyes threatening to spill over.

The elder Yagami was looking just as horrified. "Did she, really? My god…I'm so sorry, son." His father was pale and a little shaky himself. "I hope you know…I forgave you a long time ago, and I know how good of a big brother you've been."

"I know." was all Taichi said, but I realized it didn't make much difference to him.

Mr. Yagami coughed and said, "I'll talk to Dr. Murata before your mother's next appointment. This may help her to understand your mom."

And thus ended the latest 'Mom Report.'

After Mr. Yagami had left, I threw my arms around Taichi and pretty much hugged the shit out of him.

"Uh… Yama? What's up?" He inquired in a puzzled and slightly amused voice. His arms had come up to hug me back automatically, but I couldn't seem to let go of him.

"You needed a hug." I mumbled, burrowing my nose into the crook of his neck and inhaling deeply. Gods, he smelled good.

"No…not really." Taichi laughed a little and absently rubbed my back right shoulder. "Though I appreciate the thought."

"Yes you did." I argued, still snuggling. "So did I." Okay that was playing hardball. He'd hug me all day if I said I needed it, just because I so rarely got all emotion or clingy.

"Oh." Yep. Hardball. He was suddenly hugging me like his (or my) life depended on it. "In that case…"

We stood like that in silence for a while until I apparently couldn't keep my big mouth shut and just enjoy him while I had the chance.

"I didn't know any of that about your sister, Tai." I stated quietly in his ear. Then I was cursing myself when he tensed up in my arms and tried to pull away.

"No. You wouldn't. It's not something I'm particularly fond of thinking about, let alone talking about." He responded mildly, reluctantly letting me keep my grip on him (because if he really wanted to get away, he could). We're both fighters and we've had our share of rumbles, but Taichi's still just that little bit better than I am. Plus, I fight dirty, and he knows all my little tricks.

"I'm just saying, is all." I said. "It's just that I think I understand you that much better now."

He sighed and relaxed again. "Is that good or bad?"

I smiled, knowing he could feel it. "Good. Of course it's good. Why wouldn't I want to understand you better?"

"Never mind. Um…still, despite how nice this is…"

I frowned. "What?"

"I gotta pee." Taichi declared, letting go of me and giving me an apologetic pat before rushing away to the bathroom.

I twitched, laughed, and shook my head. Of course my best friend's bladder would exert itself and cut in on my sneaky way of coping a feel. I sighed ruefully and went to clean up my room.

* * *

The evening of our final exam was not only a relief but hugely exciting. To celebrate, now that _all_ of us were finished school and exams (even Joe!) we Chosen and our younger Guardians went to a fairly nice restraint, all dressed up in semi-formal attire, early in the evening.

I had a hard time keeping my hands and my drool to myself, thanks to Taichi's very sexy, athletic body sheathed in dark-wash denim jeans and a button-down shirt in a gorgeous shade of bloody crimson red. Needless to say, I kept getting amused and exasperated looks from both Sora and Joe – being the only two of our group to know how I felt and therefore knowing what they saw in my face and body language every time I looked at Taichi.

After supper, we trooped over to an upscale club that my band and I often frequent as the night's live entertainment. I had to pull a few strings, but I got the younger kids in on the promise that we older, of age 'kids' would keep the younger ones away from alcohol and out of trouble. Not a difficult task, since none of us really do alcohol anyway.

We had a couple of hours to spend together, at least, before I had to excuse myself to go meet up with my band and get ready to play. It would be our first gig after exams, after high school, and we were totally stoked about it.

I didn't have much getting ready to do since the outfit I wore out to supper was easily changed only slightly to double as a stage outfit. I wore black, lambskin soft and smooth leather pants, a sleeveless, dark royal purple turtleneck shirt under a silk black shirt that I left completely unbuttoned with the long sleeves rolled up to my elbows, and my favourite pair of black boots. For the gig, I ditched the silk shirt (no way was I going to get all sweaty in _silk_ under the stage lights) and added a few accessories instead. A pair of black, fingerless gloves, studded black leather arm bands, and a steel, chain-link belt made me into Rocker Matt for the gig.

As I made my entrance, the fans screamed, whistled, and whopped their appreciation. But there was only one fan I wanted to impress that night.

I sang my heart out. Old songs and a few new ones, I poured all my unrequited emotions and, yes, hormones into my voice and performance. It was exhilarating, knowing Taichi was out there in the audience watching and listening, and it was the one way I could safely express everything that was going on inside my head and heart, and even my soul to him. It was very public and yet still completely anonymous. It was a release of tension, frustration, fear, worry…

By the time we were ready to give our last efforts for the night, geared up for the final song, I was already tired, sweaty, and a little sore. I'd probably be paying for overworking the vocal chords tonight, but it was more than worth it. However, deciding not to push it, I quickly switched the fast, hard, loud song, we'd originally planned for last to a slower, softer, ballad after a brief discussion with my band mates. Thankfully, they were all eager to agree, being fairly worn out themselves by then.

Sitting perched on a barstool, having exchanged my electric guitar for my acoustic one, I played my last song and sang of love realized, love shared, and love lost, backed up by my band mates. As I did, my eyes were focused toward the back of the crowded club were my circle of closest friends, my little brother, and Taichi sat of stood around a table all taking in the show as rapt and enthralled as any of the fans in the rest of the crowd. I don't know if Taichi knew I pretty much stared at him the entire time, but it didn't matter.

As my voice wound down and the last notes ended, followed immediately by the gratifying applause and calls for more from the crowd. I gave a short bow, waving and smiling winningly as I made my way off stage with the band. I heard the club's house DJ make the last call for drinks as I stepped off the stage and turned to head down the hall to the backstage dressing rooms.

By the time I'd cleaned up, changed back into my shirt, packed up our gear and instruments, and finally went back out to find the gang the club had emptied, closing for another successful night.

Everyone was waiting for me at their table. The club staff was moving around, cleaning up, as if they weren't even there. I smiled tiredly at the group and plopped down unceremoniously on a stool beside my sexy best friend. "Hey guys. Enjoy the show?" Nods and cheers of assent were the consensus.

Taichi plunked a large bottle of ice-cold water in front of me and I grabbed at it, greedily gulping down a few mouthfuls. "Thanks" I sighed gratefully, rolling my shoulders. "Needed that."

"Not surprised." He laughed, thumping me on the back. "After that performance? Man."

"You were really something tonight, Matt." Mimi flicked her long chestnut hair over her shoulder and gave me a wide smile.

"Yeah!" Daisuke agreed boisterously. "Your best gig to date, dude! Jun will be _so_ jealous she missed it."

I rolled my eyes, fighting not to shudder. Motomiya Jun wasn't a bad person or anything, she was just obsessed with me. Well, once upon a time, anyway. She had been the epitome of 'fangirl' at one point, but she's apparently found someone else to stalk. She's still one of my biggest fans, though.

"And of course you'll hold the video you recorded ransom." Ken added, pointedly looking at the D3 in Daisuke's hands.

"Well, duh."

Iori was nudging Miyako and pointing at his watch. She glanced down at his wrist and nodded, pushing away from the table to stand up.

"We have to get going, guys. Curfew was extended, but not erased, unfortunately." She came around the table and offered me a big hug. "Great concert, Matt! And congrats everyone for being done exams and all that!"

"Thanks, Miya." I returned. I shot my little brother a glance. "You coming home with us or going home with these two?" I gestured at Taichi and then at Miyako and Iori.

Takeru thought about it, then slid off his stool. "Guess I'll go to Mom's." he decided. I nodded and ruffled his hair, which he laughingly swatted my arm for then gave Hikari a hug and light kiss on the cheek. "Not too shabby, brother-mine. See you all!" Takeru waved at us and headed out with Miyako and Iori, who gave us all a quiet wave and smile of his own.

Izzy and Joe left too, followed by Daisuke and Ken. Taichi and I escorted the three girls (Mimi, Sora, and Hikari) outside to wait for the cab Mimi called to pick them up. Apparently Sora and Hikari were staying at Mimi's tonight.

Sora pulled me aside just before she got into the cab. "I just wanted to tell you I really thought you did fabulously tonight, Matt. Feel better?"

I felt my lips twitch in amusement. I figured she would know what the gig was for me. "A lot, actually. My form of catharsis, after all."

The Child of Love smiled fondly. "Good. I'm glad it worked." She sobered, continuing seriously, "Have you thought any more about telling him?"

"Sora…"

"Just…consider it, Matt." She went back to the cab and slid in before I could say anything either way about it. "Well, good night, guys! See you soon!"

"Bye, girls!" Taichi waved cheerfully. "Have fun doing our girl-stuff!"

I snickered.

We watched until their cab disappeared from sight down the street, then turned and began the fair distant walk home. Tired though I was, the cool night air was refreshing and relaxing, which I was very much in need of right then. Taichi seemed to know that without me saying anything.

"I heard a few new songs tonight, Yama." Taichi eventually broke our companionable silence. "I have no idea when you found the time or energy to write them, but they were really great."

Oh boy. That's my ego you see preening and puffing up like a peacock.

Grinning and totally pleased with myself. I replied graciously, "Thank you. I did try."

Snickering, Taichi tossed an arm around my shoulders. "At the risk of stoking that inflated ego of yours," he said wryly, "I'm of the opinion that you've never sounded better. Can I ask what made such a difference?"

Figuring I could get away with it, I leaned into his one-armed embrace as casually as I could. "Don't know. It's been a while since I had a major gig like that so…" I couldn't tell him the truth, so I hedged.

"Yeah, true. You really had your fans screaming for more, too. And I don't think it was just the music, either." His arm fell away – much to my disappointment – and he stuffed his hands into his jacket pockets, continuing to walk. I blinked at the barely hidden tone in his otherwise calm, happy voice. Nah…couldn't have been what I thought it was.

"What do you mean?" I asked anyway. If I hadn't happened to glance at him just then, I'd have missed the tiny frown that flashed across his face.

"You did the 'rock and roll sex god' look rather well tonight, Ishida, that's what. I'm shocked that we didn't have to swim out of the club for all the drool."

I didn't know whether to laugh and be flattered, or grimace and be disgusted. "Ew. Thanks for that less than appetizing mental picture."

"Sorry. It's true, though."

I pondered that, torn between an un-Ishida Yamato thing and doing a happy dance that Taichi apparently _noticed_ my attempts at sexy, or calmly pretending I wasn't ecstatic and horrifically turned on. Damn, what a choice. I settled for something somewhere in between.

"Rock sex god, huh?" I purred with unabashed vanity. I even let myself swagger, strolling ahead of him a bit and turning to face him, walking backward for a while as I flashed a smug grin at him. "Why, Taichi, how nice of you to say so."

There was a gleam in his warm brown eyes, something that made everything in me tighten reflexively in response and falter in my steps minutely. I blinked, feeling rather warm all of a sudden when he stopped walking abruptly and gave me a slow once-over from head to toe and back again.

"Yama," he said in a voice that was suspiciously low and husky – and made my whole body tingle pleasantly, "In that outfit, especially those pants, you're sex on a goddamn stick and you know it."

I gaped at him, thoroughly surprised and working on embarrassed. Blushing furiously, I ceased any posing I was (unconsciously!) doing and looked away shyly. "I…uh…wow. Coming from you, that's… Thank you?"

There was a distinctly red tinge to his face and neck suddenly, as if he just realized what he said and how. Shrugging, he shuffled his foot a bit against the sidewalk and rubbed at the back of his neck somewhat abashedly. "You don't need me to tell you you're hot, Yama." He grumbled.

_Oh, Taichi…_ I thought with a suppressed shiver of delight. _You're the only one I want to tell me that._ Aloud, I smiled in genuine happiness and said, "Doesn't mean I don't like hearing it from someone whose opinion actually means something to me."

"Yeah?" His gaze met mine in surprise. I guess he didn't know that I valued his opinion in this context as much as I did in others.

"Of course." I assured. I tilted my head at him, and couldn't seem to help myself, asking curiously, "Yagami, are you flirting with me?"

His eyes widened and that red tinge turned into a full blown embarrassed flush. "Uh…not intentionally." He held up both hands, as if warding off the idea. "I was just… I only meant to tell the truth as I see it."

Nodding, I looked away to hide the deep pang of hurt and disappointment. For a brief moment I had actually believed he _was_ at least intrigued, maybe even interested. And I had to remind myself now that he wasn't, he had a thing for someone already, and that he was only human. If a sexy guy walked by _me_ I'd look – for a second – just as anyone would. Taichi was no different, even if it happened to be his best friend.

Clearing my throat, I said quietly, "Sorry. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. I was only teasing you. Guess I got a little too caught up in my own delusions of grandeur." Hoping to distract him from any hints of just how bad I was taking his rejection, I said it lightly with a faint tinge of self-recrimination. It seemed to work, because we started walking again and he looked relieved, like I'd just let him off the hook about something he figured he'd be in trouble for. With my good mood dying a slow, painful death, I was in no way interested in making it worse by prodding him to find out what that could possibly be.

"Yama, you didn't make me uncomfortable. I mean, we might be best friends but even I realize you're hot. It's a compliment, is all."

I gave him what I hoped was a grateful semi-smug smile. "Taken as such. I just, you know…wasn't expecting you to say anything like that."

He rubbed at his neck again, sheepishly. "Yeah, well… And what about you? You were definitely flirting with me, Yamato. In fact," he continued animatedly before I could deny it, "You are a shameless flirt, though I sometimes think you don't realize you're doing it."

I huffed indignantly. I do _not_ flirt shamelessly and I said so. "I do not. Why would I flirt with people? I get all the attention I want from gigs and performances."

Taichi frowned and chuckled, but I don't think he thought it was funny. "Oh yes, Ishida, you do. Like I said, I don't think you know you're doing it most of the time. And it isn't for the attention. I know that. You're just that kind of personality that enjoys the chase, so to speak, even if you're not actually looking to catch anyone."

"I'm not even going to pretend I understand that." I retorted, annoyed with him for even suggesting it, but more so with myself because it was probably true. Taichi wouldn't say anything if it wasn't true.

"Look, I'm no psych expert. I don't know _why_, I just know it's what you do." He stopped as we finally came up to the entrance to my building and waited for me to unlock the door with my key card. "I'm not being critical."

"Okay, so if I am such a shameless flirt, then why do you care? I mean, you're the one bringing it up at all." I pulled open the door and we made our way to the elevators. I mashed the 'up' button with a thumb.

Frustrated, though I didn't know why, Taichi leaned against he wall of the elevator and glared at me. "Of course I care, Matt." Uh oh… He never called me 'Matt' when it's just the two of us. "I'm worried about you. Flirting can be harmless but what if you run into someone who doesn't take it that way? Besides which, I know you have a thing for someone, so I don't understand why you're still…still…"

Totally avoiding the subject, I gave him a glare of my own before stepping off onto our floor. "I thought we agreed not to get into that." I led the way to the apartment and got out my keys to unlock the door.

"I'm not asking for details. I'm just trying to understand." He closed the door behind us a tad forcefully. We kicked off our shoes and hung up our jackets.

"There's nothing to explain, Taichi. IF you think I flirt unconsciously anything with two legs walking upright, that's your opinion. I don't even know how we got onto this topic, but I want to thank you for absolutely killing my good mood." I growled, tired in body and emotion. I headed for my room, intending to retreat into myself and my one sanctuary to hurt in solitary peace. My music.

Taichi, of course, can't take a hint – or blithely ignores it, as usual. He follows me and barges into my room behind me. I'm thinking it's good that Dad's not around for a few days, because as it is, it's late, and we're noisy enough without the blooming argument.

Standing in the middle of my room, Taichi receives the full-whammy of my patented death-glare, with my fists planted on my hips. "Out." I warn, eyeing him threateningly. I may love him, but right now I'm not in the mood.

"Matt, I'm sorry, okay? I wasn't trying to say…anything like how you're obviously taking my words. I said I am worried about you, and I mean it. Look," Taichi ran agitated fingers through his wild mane of hair and started pacing my room. "It seems like you're flirting, to me with a lot of people because… I don't know, you're trying to make whoever it is jealous? Or something? I just wish you'd talk to me, Yama." He turned questioning brown eyes on me, a hurt look on his face that made me feel all guilty – which was exactly as it was meant to do – and thus, angrier. "I don't know what's going on with you anymore because we don't talk, not like we used to. Normally you'd tell me things like what's going on in your life, but…"

"And I told _you_ that I wasn't ready!" I exclaimed, pointing an angry finger at him. "Besides the fact that it's completely irrelevant now anyway, I have nothing _to_ say! I don't flirt with everyone, Taichi. That's your imagination running away on you. And your concerns are therefore moot!" My chest was heaving, my hands were clenching and unclenching in an effort to keep myself from belting him. And the icing on this cake was the guilt I felt because he had a point – the part about us not talking anymore, about me and my life. It's been all about him for months now, which (in my opinion) is how it should be. But in trying not to burden him, perhaps I was causing him to feel like he was being pushed away, shut out, and held at arm's length. The _last_ thing I wanted. For that reason alone I viciously reigned in my temper and tried to speak more calmly with a level head.

"I'll apologize for what seems to you like I don't talk to you anymore. I admit to trying not to dump my petty issues on you because you have enough to think about and deal with. Maybe it was the wrong thing to do, in retrospect, but I didn't do it because I'm trying to shut you out or whatever your brain is telling you."

Mistake! His eyes narrowed and he seized on the opportunity with both hands.

"First of all, _Yamato_, I don't need you or anyone else to coddle me. Second, you've been such a great friend to me through all of this, but it works both ways, in case you've forgotten. _Child of Friendship_, ha! I can't be your best friend – any kind of friend – if you don't _let_ me!" A few short steps put him right into my personal space, nose-to-nose and eye-to-eye. "I brought up the flirting thing unintentionally, but it's been bothering me for a while. You don't want to shut me out? Then _talk_ to me, goddamn you! Did something happen with the guy you like? Did he do or say something?"

_Oh you sneaky little bastard_. Now I was rapidly moving from anger to panic. I didn't know what to say. I couldn't tell him the truth, but if I didn't tell him _something_ I may just fracture whatever is left of his trust in me and our friendship. And at the same time, I just wanted him to go away and leave me alone. It wasn't his fault; he couldn't know what sort of a corner he was backing me into so obliviously. And he was worried about me. I could see it and hear it. Even though, rationally, I understood all that, I just didn't know what to say and I didn't think I could deal with this any longer. I was gonna blow like Vesuvius, and if I did, he was going to find out _exactly_ what my damage was.

I closed my eyes, took a deep, deep breath, and a large step back from him. Letting the breath out slowly, a tenuous grip on my control, I opened my eyes and gave him the only response I could come up with.

"I'm going to say this, and then you're going to leave me alone because I can't do this, Taichi. I need to be _left alone_ right now. So here it is: yes there was a guy. I was waiting to see if he would be receptive, and if he was then I was going to talk to him, maybe ask him out. But whether he's receptive or not doesn't matter because he likes someone else. I don't believe I've been flirting shamelessly but as you obviously do, I'll say that if I have, then it's because I feel rejected. Happy?"

_No. Oh no, don't you dare._ His face absolutely fell and his eyes got all shiny and moist. _Don't you dare start crying and feeling all sorry for me, Yagami! I already feel like shit over you!_ Of course, he couldn't hear my silent, raging pleas, and tears trickled down his face. Before I could escape he was roughly pulling me into a fierce hug that under any other condition I'd have cheerfully wallowed in. Next thing I knew, a litany of meant-to-be soothing statements come pouring out of him, muffled in my hair near my ear.

"I'm so sorry, Yama. Forgive me for pushing like that! I…you know I can never leave well-enough alone when I ought to. And I'm so very sorry to hear that some asshole's gone and broken your heart. He doesn't deserve you, Yama!"

I let him keep me for a brief moment, then started struggling to be let go. Looking very much like _his_ heart was breaking on my behalf, he released me and watched me with such gut-wrenching sadness I nearly fell apart right then and there. Backing away and holding out a shaky arm to keep him away him off, I croaked, "Just…go to bed, Tai. Please…just…"

He nodded quickly, finally recognizing that he couldn't do or say anything helpful right now. "Yeah, sure. I'm going. See? This is me…leaving." He headed for the door, pausing only long enough to throw me a glance full of abject apology before closing the door behind himself quietly, all the while looking like the puppy someone had just kicked.

Thoroughly devastated and guilt-ridden, I stripped out of my clothes, crawled into my bed and pulled the covers up over my head to shut out the world as I broke down and cried like I hadn't done since my parents' divorce.

* * *

**Kali Notes:** Wow, that turned out to be a longer update than I thought it was. I'm just glad they've improved this quick-edit thing on ffnet. Thanks for reading! Stay tuned! And remember… **Please R/R!!**


	11. Chapter 11

**Kali Notes:** Wow, so I noticed a couple of things that I need to correct after reading through past chapters to check for inconsistencies… First, I believe I accidently stated that Daisuke was going to be staying over at Ken's in a previous chapter – when, in fact, I'd already had them moved out of their homes and living together. Oops. I mean for them to be living together. My bad. Second, I realized that I went and forgot that there is an age difference among the Bearers (not including Hikari and Takeru). For the purposes of this fic (and so I don't have to go back and re-write a whole lot of the fic…), let's all just pretend that Taichi, Yamato, Sora, Mimi, and Izzy are all the same age, in the same grade in school. Joe, obviously, is a year older than all of them (which is what he's supposed to be anyhow). And lastly, as it was once pointed out to me, there is no "spring break" in Japan. The closest thing is called "Golden Week." I knew this, but I didn't explain why I used spring break instead, so I'll do that now; I use it because the majority of people would probably recognize a holiday such as spring break unless one is up on their Japanese culture facts. It's just a way to cater to the readers a bit so they're not totally lost. These two holidays usually occur about the same time of year, so it works out. Anyway, those are the biggies I noticed, and figured I'd mention. Thanks for reading, everyone! I promise things are going to start coming together a lot faster…so you'll just have to keep reading to find out how! XD Enjoy!

**Warnings:**Yaoi, adult language, adult situations, and cavity-inducing WAFF.

**Disclaimer:** Kali & muses do not own Digimon or its characters. We're just borrowing them for the sake of this fic.

**Pairings:** Taito! With DaiKen, Takari, and mentioning of Joe/Mimi & Izzy/Miyako.

* * *

**_Chapter 11_**

I apparently cried myself into a stupor. When I finally resurfaced, I had no idea how long I'd slept. My alarm clock said it was nearly noon, but I wasn't sure if it was the day after or even later.

My eyes were sore and tired, not to mention gritty with both dried tears and sleep. My whole body felt heavy and tired. I had no energy at all. As much as I would have liked to stay in bed and pretend I didn't exist, I knew I had to get up and go out there to face Taichi – who probably had himself worked up into a real state of self-flagellation. I also knew if I didn't, I was going to end up back where I'd been before I met Taichi and the others…

On the road to depression, if not already there.

Literally rolling out of bed, my limbs refused to move any way but lethargically. Grabbing a pair of sweatpants and a clean shirt, I stumbled to my door and yanked it open. Then I stumbled across the hall to the bathroom, intent on a long, hot shower.

I heard a hesitant, startled, "Yama?" just before I slammed the door shut. I winced as the percussion of that echoed in my already aching head.

Emerging half an hour later, I still felt like crap, but I did feel somewhat more human. A little less apathetic, a little more fortified, and squeaky clean. I headed for the kitchen and my coffee machine, needing the java infusion desperately.

But as I turned the corner, I came to an abrupt halt at the sight of the feast an apologetic, repentant Taichi had put together, ostensibly as a peace offering (re: bribe). Looking up from the counter and it's bounty, I found a downcast Child of Courage watching me with trepidation.

Guilt threatened to eat me alive. Here was Taichi thinking it was all his fault and that I was so mad that I probably hated him, all because I'm too chicken-shit to tell him the truth. Yet, like the Chosen he is, he still finds the courage to try and apologize, to make things right between us. Oh…shit. And here I go again…

Tears spilled over and I opened my arms. In a flash he was around the counter and we were wrapped around each other like the lovers we _still_ were not. We held on, stroked, rubbed, and generally cried all over one another until we could do nothing else but cling and shudder and hold each other up.

I was seriously getting tired of this plethora of emoting that had been occurring all to often with either of us lately. We didn't normally cry like this seemingly all the damn time!

"I'm sorry, sorry, sorry…" I whimpered pathetically, unwilling to let him feel bad about it. This was my problem, not his, and making him feel unwanted and responsible was unacceptable to me, the supposed Child of Friendship.

I ought to be fired! I suck!

"No, Yama! Don't be sorry! It's me who's…" Taichi stopped when I covered his mouth with my hand, shaking my head emphatically.

"Don't, Tai. You were right. I haven't let you be the best friend you are to me. I'm sorry, truly sorry, for that. And for getting all defensive and…bitchy." Ohhh, that one hurt and made me wince. I've been accused of PMS before, but as the testosterone-filled male that I am, I've denied it vehemently. With fists, on rare occasions.

Taichi handed me a tissue and grabbed one for himself from the box near the phone on the counter. I blew my nose and wiped at my face. Then I went to throw it in the garbage. When I came back, the brunette was loading up a plate of pancakes, scrambled eggs, and these weird sausage-looking things I hadn't even known were in our freezer. He handed it to me and gave me a hopeful grin. I accepted it and sighed.

"You had every right to get mad, Yama. I hate that you've been going through that alone. I guess I should have made more effort to get you to talk to me." He mused sadly. I played with the eggs on my plate with my fork.

"Why don't we just agree that we both suck royally, we're both sorry, and move on?" I suggested. The sooner we put this behind us, the better.

"Yeah. I can get behind that idea." Taichi agreed eagerly. I gestured at all the food.

"You are going to help me eat all this, right?" I asked. Taichi, though he rarely does, can cook. His meal specialty is breakfast, so when he does cook anything that's usually what we get.

He took the hint and happily stacked another plateful for himself, joining me at the counter to eat.

Maybe the situation wasn't ideal – my vision of it, anyway – but I still had my best friend, and in the end, that's what I wanted. No matter what.

* * *

The end of high school had yet to really sink in for me. Our final grades and class standings were to be posted in less than a week, and that weekend was the official graduation ceremony. I knew that I would have until then to wallow in a fleeting moment of pure freedom, but after that I would have to buckle down and decide what direction I wanted to take my future.

All I knew for certain was that I wanted to go to university, and that I wanted to keep my career in the realm of music. Now I also knew that the band and I were going to continue playing gigs and various venues in the hopes of getting 'discovered' by a major label because we'd talked about it and that's what we agreed on. But I wasn't sure how that was going to work, depending upon whether we all stayed here or if we went our separate ways to different universities.

On my desk was a stack of envelopes and various entrance applications to most of the major post-secondary institutions in Japan. Taichi had a similar stack on his desk. Neither of us was looking forward to the time and effort we'd eventually be spending on filling out all those forms – and the resulting wait for responses after we'd sent them all in. Perhaps the most nerve-wracking application was the one for Tokyo University, though. Neither Taichi nor I were very confident in being accepted, since it's so prestigious and difficult to get into. Taichi more so than I, because his grades were lower than mine and he still hadn't heard if he'd won any of the soccer scholarships he'd either applied for or been nominated for by his coaches and others involved in the sport.

Yagami Taichi was the other reason I had my reservations about university. We'd been together in school for so long now that I'd forgotten that there was a very real possibility that we'd be going to separate institutions. I wasn't sure how I'd handle that distance. But of course I'd never say anything because I wanted him to go wherever he wanted to, where he could play soccer and be the star I know he is. I wanted him to be happy.

My dad finally came home from his business trip to Kyoto a couple days after my spectacular emotional breakdown. By then, thankfully, things between Taichi and I had settled back into a similar condition to what it had been before Dad left so he didn't notice anything had ever been amiss.

It was late Saturday afternoon when he arrived, looking disheveled from travelling and a little work-weary.

"Hey, Dad. Welcome home." I greeted him, taking his bags from him and carrying them to his bedroom.

"Matt! Thanks, son. It's good to be back." Dad gave me a tired smile and got out of his shoes and jacket.

"Hey, Mr. Ishida!" Taichi poked his head out from his room when he heard us in the hall. "How was the trip?"

"Annoying, but things went well." Dad huffed. My best friend followed us out to the living room where Dad dropped wearily onto the sofa with a deep sigh of relief. "Actually, I have some news."

"Oh?" Curious, I held up a hand. "Wait. I'll be right back." I slipped into the kitchen to grab us each a can of soda from the fridge then returned to the living room, passing out the cans. "Okay. So what's the word?" I sat down next to Taichi on the arm of the big, comfy sofa-chair.

"Well," Dad began, " I don't know if I mentioned it before, but our network has been in negotiations with a smaller one in Kyoto recently. We're going to be buying it out and taking over."

"Wow." Taichi exclaimed with wide eyes.

I raised an eyebrow. "Is that a good thing?" He didn't sound like it was a good thing.

"It's supposed to be, business-wise, and ratings-wise, since there will be a wider and more populous audience, as well as the advertising and sponsors from Kyoto and surrounding area. I've been of the opinion that it's being done too soon and too quickly, but my vote doesn't speak as loudly as others." He paused and took a healthy swig of soda. "Still, things won't be changing much around the studios here in Tokyo."

"So that's why you've been sent back and forth from here to Kyoto so many times lately?" Taichi assumed. Dad nodded.

"Yep. But that's not my news."

I frowned at his stressed expression. "Dad? What's up?"

"I've been offered a position in Kyoto at the new offices. It's a pretty huge promotion, really." Dad told us. My eyes went wide.

"That's great, Dad! Isn't it? You've wanted a promotion for a long time now." I said, not sure why he didn't seem very excited or happy about it.

"A promotion, yes. But I never expected one that came with so many other issues, and I'm not talking about the changes in everyday work stuff." Dad gave me a faint smile. "It's in Kyoto, Matt. I'd have to move. I'd have to find a place to live, pack up, move everything…"

I blinked, then blinked again. "Oh. Right." I'd overlooked that part. "When do you have to decide?"

"Soon. I have a month. My bosses want me in place when we officially take over at the beginning of June." Dad downed the last of his soda and sat playing with the tab on top of the empty can. "What I need to know is what your plans are. The both of you."

I looked down at Taichi and he looked up at me. We blinked at each other for a moment, then shrugged simultaneously.

"We both want to go to university, Mr. Ishida." Taichi said slowly. "Grad is next week, and we have most of the forms we need from the schools we decided on to apply to…"

"We're just waiting on our official grades and all that." I added. "Then we have to wait for responses once we've sent in the applications."

"Ah. Where were you boys planning on applying?"

"Well, I'll probably go to one of the major universities or colleges because they're the ones with the soccer teams…" Taichi pondered the idea aloud. "I have forms for Tokyo University and a few others. I doubt I'll make Tokyo U, though."

"Ditto." I said. "On all counts but the soccer team thing. I was thinking of teaching music…or something."

"I see. I figured it would be too soon and too difficult for you boys to say definitively where you were headed." Dad shook his head at himself. "I tried explaining that to the higher-ups. I guess I'll have to turn down the promotion."

My eyes went huge at that. "What? Dad, you can't give up an opportunity like this!"

"Matt's right, Mr. Ishida." Taichi agreed with me.

'But until you both know where you're going, it makes no sense for you to move, and then have to possibly move again." Dad pointed out. "And I doubt that you, Taichi, particularly want to become more transient than you already must feel."

Taichi blinked at him, scratched an ear absently, and shrugged.

"We could stay here for the month, Dad." I said slowly, thinking this through. "Rent's been paid for this month, right? And by next month, I'll have enough to cover another month's rent and bills."

Taichi glanced at me. "Yeah? How?"

"I have two major gigs coming up, plus a few smaller ones. And I should be getting a royalty cheque any day now from the sale of our last album." I informed him archly. He seems to have forgotten I'm a musician, poplar enough to be making some money off it. Even if it's not that much…

"Oh. Right."

Dad raised an eyebrow at me. "You're saying you'll stay here until you've figured out your next educational step, while I move to Kyoto?"

"Yep." I frowned at the skeptical expression on his face. "Hey, I'm not a child, Dad. I'm capable of taking care of myself and living on my own, you know. I do it frequently – all the time."

"I've never had to, until recently, but I'm learning how." Taichi gave a small smile. "Matt's a good teacher."

Surprised, I blushed and studied my feet. Gee, was that a hole developing in my sock? Glancing up, I caught my father studying me intently. Then his eyes shifted to Taichi, his lips pursed thoughtfully, and then back to me with a curious frown. I really wished I knew what was going on in his head, but before long dad was sighing and smiling at us both.

"Well, you're both certainly old enough to make this kind of decision for yourself, and I know you're totally capable, independent young men, so if you're sure that's what you want to do for now, then…alright."

I lifted my head, a little surprised, but exchanged a look with Taichi. "Really?" I asked.

Dad laughed. "Yes, Yamato. Really. It really is the easiest, most convenient solution for the moment – for all of us."

I blinked, smiled, and could only say, "Cool!"

* * *

The next day, Dad went into work and accepted the promotion. When he got home that evening, at a reasonable hour for once in a very long time, we made plans to take a trip to Kyoto with him after graduation, in order to help him find and choose a new apartment. He already had a list of buildings with vacancies that the station had ties to or where other employees from the Kyoto station already lived, which made things a little bit easier.

My short bit of freedom was now shot all to hell, so I buckled down one day and proceeded to fill out the stack of forms and applications on my desk. At least this way they would be all ready to mail off when I got my official grades in a couple of days.

Taichi filled out all of his, too, but he did it over a three-day period rather than all at once as I did. Mostly this was due to his sense of procrastination – he always managed to find other things to do – rather than a conscious decision or plan. He'd either be out playing soccer with Daisuke and Ken, or out with Hikari, or some combination of those. Oh, and the one day there was a huge soccer tournament on TV that he wanted to watch.

Once my paperwork was done, I did have a lot of free time on my hands. I hung out with Takeru one afternoon, did laundry and cleaned house another, had three practice sessions with the band and two minor gigs in that week (pre-grad), and generally lazed about working on songs or just watching TV or reading.

The morning of the grad ceremony was a tad frantic and chaotic – not to mention nerve-wracking. And it was all a little surreal because we were leaving behind a huge portion of our lives to go onto something else.

I woke to Taichi's annoying, sing-song tone of voice calling my name from my bedroom door.

"Yamato…wakey, wakey! Yama…time to get up!"

Still mostly asleep, I snarled something unintelligible, yanked the covers up over my head, and snuggled into my nice, warm cocoon. I was drifting back to sleep, curled around my pillow, when Taichi yanked the covers off me and sang, "Yama-chan! Rise and shine! You'll be late for the ceremony!"

Now, I tolerate a lot of things from my best friend, including his penchant for calling me silly nicknames on occasion. However, I don't tolerate much when I'm not awake yet, and even when I am alert and aware…I _despise_ the addition of '-chan' to my name. Especially when it comes from Taichi.

My pillow was a lethal weapon before I'd even opened my eyes. I swung it in the general direction of Taichi's voice with all my strength and was gratified to hear a THWUMP! followed by a surprised squawk and pained oomph! as Taichi was knocked to the floor.

I sat up, on the edge of my bed, and blearily glared at the brunette sprawled on my floor rubbing at his head and grinning unapologetically up at me.

"Good morning, Yama!" He greeted me cheerfully. "Sleep well?"

"I was until I was rudely interrupted." I growled, wiping at my eyes, with a sleep-heavy, raspy voice. I eyed him, noting he still had his pajamas on, so he hadn't been up long. I could also see that he was about to start bouncing off the walls. "You're awfully wound up. What'd you do? Drink an entire pot of coffee before waking me up?"

"No," he gave me a look, 'I'm just excited. We're graduating today, Yama!"

I sighed and fell backward to flop on my bed. "I know, Taichi."

"Aren't you a little excited?" Taichi asked, sounding a bit disappointed that I wasn't as pumped as he was.

"Not really. I already knew I would, and today is just a bunch of formality and pomp that I could really do without." I replied, staring at the ceiling.

"Hmph." I heard him huff and his feet slap against my floorboards as he headed for the door. "Well don't ruin it for the rest of us today, Mr. Gloom. And you'd better get up and start getting ready, Yama. We have to be there an hour early."

"Yeah, yeah."

My door slammed behind him and I groaned. I had a feeling this was going to be a lo-ong day.

* * *

The ceremony was better than I expected. The speakers kept their speeches short, leaving the remainder of the time for us graduates to troop – one-by-one – across the stage to shake hands with the teachers and the principal, and to accept that little piece of paper that officially declares us graduated from secondary school.

I did feel a great deal of pride in my friends as each of us made the walk. Izzy was sitting closest to me among the large crowd of graduates, but I still managed to watch him accept his diploma.

In the audience of family, friends, and other interested people also attending the ceremony were our younger Digidestined friends, Joe, and our families. Takeru was with my parents (a very rare occurrence for us), Hikari was with her father and her grandparents (who had come in from the country to see their grandson graduate), and with them sat the other younger kids. Sora's, Izzy's, and Mimi's parents sat behind mine and Taichi's contingent with Joe.

Taichi looked great as he accepted his diploma. He looked almost scholarly – if you didn't know who he was and that under his robes was one hell of an athletically built body. Indulging in some Taichi-ogling killed the remainder of the ceremony quicker for me, at least.

Once they released everyone from all the official stuff, I met up with Taichi, Sora, Izzy, and Mimi and we went looking for everyone else. When we finally found the crowd of our family and friends, we found ourselves the subject of about a million pictures – individually and in various groups. Hikari took all the 'professional' ones, though. You know…the kind you frame for the mantle, send to distant relatives, and hang on the wall. Our little Child of Light was a real talent with a camera (which, when I think of it, makes a lot of sense…).

As the afternoon wore on, we made plans to meet up at a restaurant for supper later on that evening. We would have done a pot-luck picnic but the sky was growing steadily darker. Our luck was it would probably rain on us.

By the end of the day – late as it was – I was totally exhausted. Being around so many people all day long was draining.

I was in my room sometime near midnight, getting ready for bed, when Taichi came into the room. I paused in pulling my shirt off over my head and tilted my head at him.

"Tai?"

"Hey. Um…mind if I sit with you for a while, Yama?" He was staring at his feet – bare – and was already dressed in his pajamas.

"Sure." Frowning in concern, I quickly changed my clothes. "What's up, pal?" I asked, turning on my lamp when he shut off the overhead lights. I sat on my bed and slid backward so my back was propped up by the wall and patted the mattress beside me.

Taichi joined me, sitting close enough to me that our shoulders brushed whenever either of us moved. He heaved a harsh sigh and drew his knees up to his chest.

"It's strange." He finally answered me after another moment of silence. Instead of saying anything, I waited patiently for him to continue. Taichi leaned his head against the wall, staring up at nothing. "I was all excited today, glad to have finally graduated, happy to be sharing the moment with my friends and my family…and I was proud of myself. I felt like I really accomplished something. But it wasn't…something. I don't know what, just that something was missing.

"Dad was great. He was really proud of me, and of course Kari and my grandparents were, too. And I didn't think that…" he stopped, hands clenching into fists with emotion visibly. "I'm still so mad at her, don't really care about her opinion of me one way or another, and yet…"

"You do. Because she's still your mother, and you wanted her to be proud of you, too." I finished softly, sadly. I should have realized this was going to pop up. I couldn't really do much else but be here with my hurting best friend, so that's what I did.

I slipped an arm around his shoulders and drew him up against me. He let me, cuddling into my side willingly.

"I'm sorry, Taichi." I offered quietly. He nodded, letting his head rest on my shoulder.

"Me, too, Yama."

* * *

The next day Takeru arrived on our doorstep bright and early, and (along with Taichi) we rode the train to Kyoto with Dad for our apartment hunting trip.

I'll never understand the reasons why the standards for the quality of housing can differ so much within a relatively short distance. Most places we looked at were fine. Decent. But there were a few that were little more than slums – right next door to some of the nicer apartments I'd ever seen, ironically.

Dad finally picked one, even though I felt it was a little on the small side (it wasn't the same size as our current apartment). Once that was over with, and Dad had signed all the papers and handed over his damage deposit, we decided to use the time we had left, before we had to catch the train back to Tokyo, to tour Kyoto and see the sights.

There were a lot of high points to Kyoto. I decided that as my second choice to Tokyo University, if I didn't make the cut with them, then Kyoto would do just fine. Taichi seemed pretty taken with the scenery, too, and I suspected _he_ wouldn't find Kyoto such a hardship, either.

The following week was spent packing Dad up (he took all of his bedroom furniture as well as his personal stuff, leaving Taichi and I with everything else), mailing off my university applications, and helping Dad move all his stuff to Kyoto – for which he rented a small moving van.

It was late evening the day we helped Dad move when Taichi mentioned the soccer camp – something I'd pretty much forgotten about. We'd just gotten home, and we were tired in body and mind. Me a little more so because it had suddenly hit me that I really was on my own, independent. Even though I rarely saw Dad because of his job and my social schedule up until now, I'd always had the knowledge that he was living there and I would see him eventually. That safety net was gone now, and I already felt a bit lonely.

I walked into the living room, ice cold sodas from the fridge in hand, just as Taichi (sprawled our on the sofa, taking it all up) spoke.

"So Yama…"

"What?" I dangled a can over his upturned face, which he grabbed onto gratefully.

"Are you going to be alright here by yourself for a week while I'm at camp?"

I blinked, surprised at myself, then shrugged, sitting down on one armchair. "I'd completely forgotten about that, actually. Sorry."

Taichi just smiled at me, amused.

"And are you saying that I can't be left alone, Yagami?" I demanded mildly, staring at him over my can as I took a big drink.

"I said nothing of the kind, Ishida."

"You implied it."

"No, I didn't. I was asking after your emotional well-being."

"Which implies you might believe there's some reason I wouldn't be able to stay by myself for a week." Internally, I was smiling happily at being able to banter like this with my best friend again.

He scowled at me – which lost some of its effect being upside down when he looked at me. I sighed and gave in gracefully, not wanting to push it. "I'll be fine, Tai. Besides, what would you do if I'd said I wouldn't be? Stayed home?"

He rolled his eyes. "No, I'd have called Takeru and asked him to babysit." I glared at him indignantly. "Seriously, Yama, you do know that if you needed me to stay, I'd stay in a heartbeat. No second thought."

Now I rolled my eyes. "Yes, Taichi. I know. I'd never ask you to pass up an opportunity like this just to hold my questionably secure emotional hand." I caught him looking at me with a worried frown and I laughed lightly. "Tai! I can handle it! I've got scheduled practices with the band this week, three gigs and a concert, and plenty of other stuff to keep me busy. I won't have _time_ to be lonely and distraught without your company."

He pouted. "You say it like I'm…"

"Mother-henning." I agreed, smirking. He scowled some more, though whether at me or himself, I don't know.

"And I'm going to miss a concert? Damn."

I shrugged, hiding my own disappointment. "It's no big deal, Tai." It was kinda. He's been to every concert I've sang at. But I wouldn't tell him I'd noticed.

"It is to me." I heard him mutter. "I'll just have to make it up to you when I get back." Taichi stated more loudly, flipping onto his stomach.

He sounded so determined that I didn't have the heart to tell him he didn't have to do that.

"So when are you leaving?" I inquired. "Because you may want to remind Hikari that you're running off."

"I will. I'm supposed to meet up at the school with everyone else from my team who's going, and the bus will pick us up there, on Friday."

"Ah." I nodded. That was three days away. "What will you do in the meantime?"

"Don't know. Practice, I suppose. Oh! Did I mention the Terror Twins are going, too?" He grinned. "I heard a rumour that they're the only juniors to be invited."

Despite being unsurprised (since Daisuke and Ken _were_ really that good) my eyes widened and I grinned back at my best friend. "Gee, am I glad I don't have to referee any matches where the two of them play against you, Taichi."

"It's going to be fantastic! No doubt there'll be a lot of hard work, but nothing we can't handle!"

I smiled and stood up, stretching out the kinks and my weary muscles. I haven't seen Taichi this energetic and excited about anything in months. Lots of months.

"I'm sure you'll all come back with plenty of stories to share." I said, taking my empty can to the recycle bin in the kitchen. "I'm going to bed, Tai."

"Yeah. I think I'll shower first, then go pass out." Taichi agreed, yawning widely and rolling off the sofa lazily. He followed me down the hall and we spit up to go into our separate rooms.

"Good night, Tai."

"Sweet dreams, Yama."

* * *

**Kali Notes:** So I know you were all expecting a lot more, but this was one of those 'tie up loose ends' chapters. And you have to know that something's gonna happen before Taichi leaves for camp, right? Lol Stay tuned, folks! Same Digi-time, same Digi-channel… **Please R/R!!**

**Relevant Episodes: ** I forgot this in the last chapter! Bad Kali. Bad. Therefore: Season 01, episode 48 (Kari's collapse as a really little kid). Also, I recently discovered a wonderful soul who's posting season one episodes on Veoh, Japanese with really, really good English subs! AnimeWarrior07 is the user, and so far there's episodes 01-39. I'm still searching for such good quality versions of season 02. Happy viewing!


	12. Chapter 12

**Kali Notes:** In response to an email I received about the last chapter, I know I don't have to cater to the masses about picky little details, but it's part of my personality to pay attention to such things, and I especially do so because I intend to be published someday, and while the fans don't necessarily care, the publishers do. Besides which, it's the details that really make a story more than just a five minute blurb. I consider my fanfiction writing to be practice and a way to improve myself as a writer. Thank you for the email, however, because I appreciate the response and concern! Thanks to everyone for all the wonderful comments and reviews! I hope you will all continue to stick with this story, because I promise things are jus beginning to get interesting! Read on and enjoy!

**Warnings:**Yaoi, adult language, adult situations, and cavity-inducing WAFF. **This chapter:** a fairly graphic sexual act, that you can't find on ffnet! Sorry, but I think you can find it if you really want to read it...

**Disclaimer:** Kali & muses do not own Digimon or its characters. We're just borrowing them for the sake of this fic.

**Pairings:** Taito! With DaiKen, Takari, and mentioning of Joe/Mimi & Izzy/Miyako.

* * *

**_Chapter 12_**

Thursday was a rare occasion where I played a gig during the day. The band and I were only one of many playing as the live entertainment at a festival, but it was still a great opportunity to be heard and an honour to be invited to perform anyway.

I hung out with Taichi, Sora, Izzy, my brother, Hikari, and Miyako in between our performances. They were the only ones out of the group that were able to make it that day. Daisuke and Ken were visiting their families before they left for camp, Iori promised his grandfather that he'd help out with his kendo students that day, Joe was working, and Mimi was out sick with a nasty cold.

At one point that afternoon, I was checking out the booths with Sora and Takeru (while the others had gone ahead to find food and a nice quiet spot to eat it) when someone unexpected bumped into me by accident.

"Oh! I'm very sorry. I'm a klutz…" she began apologizing immediately before she even looked to see who she'd bumped into. I recognized her immediately.

It was Lily, the psychic fortune-teller from the amusement park.

"Oh! It's you!" she exclaimed, apparently recognizing me in return. "Hello again, Ishida Yamato."

I smiled, stuffing my hands in my pockets. "Hi, Lily. Wasn't expecting to run into you."

"Literally. How's life?"

"Not to bad. You?"

"Bored, actually. I'm here with my sister and a gaggle of her friends as their 'escort.'" Lily rolled her eyes.

A cough behind me reminded me of my brother and Sora. "Oh, this is Takenouchi Sora, and my brother, Takeru."

"Hey." Takeru grinned at her, looking up at me curiously. "I remember. Lily, right?"

"That's me. Good to see you again." She grinned back at him, and gave a small head bow of greeting to Sora.

"Sora, this is Lily." Takeru finished the introduction before I could. Sora smiled and returned the head-bow.

"Nice to meet you, Lily."

Lily tilted her head, nodding after a moment. "Ah. Another Chosen."

Sora blinked in surprise. I heard Takeru explain where we'd met Lily before quietly to Sora and I nodded to Lily to confirm her statement – which, I might add, didn't make me believe her claims to psychic ability any more than before. It would be easy for anyone to assume any friends I hung out with were Chosen, after all.

"There's a few of us around." I added.

"That's right. I saw the posters earlier that listed the musical talent playing today. I should have realized I'd probably run into you." Lily shrugged her shoulders. "In between sets?"

"Yeah. We only have one left, though."

Lily gave me an apologetic smile and pointed upward at the sky. "Maybe. It's going to storm tonight, though even _my_ talents aren't good enough to accurately predict the exact 'when' of the weather."

I looked up and groaned. She was right. Those clouds were looking decidedly threatening. And now that she mentioned it, I could smell it in the air.

"Damn. Well, at least we got to play most of our scheduled sets today." I sighed. Before anyone could say anything further, the distinct sound of three D-Terminals signaling the arrival of a text-message caught our attention.

"Must be Hikari." Takeru pulled his out first, Sora and I following suit. "I hope they were able to find a good place for lunch."

I was opening mine up when Sora made a worried sound and Takeru gasped in concern after reading their messages. I quickly opened mine and scanned it, frowning, before I closed the little terminal and put it away. "This day just gets better and better." I commented, sarcasm dripping off my voice.

"Something wrong?" Lily asked with polite concern. I ran a hand through my hair in agitation and glanced at my brother (whipping off a reply to Miyako, who sent the message) and Sora.

"Yeah. One of our friends seems to have tripped and hurt her ankle. We really have to go find her and the others to see what we can do to help."

"Yikes. I have some first-aid training. I might be able to do something." Lily offered. I shook my head, and smiled at her.

"That's alright. We appreciate the offer, though." I thanked her, politely turning her down. After all, we Digidestined took care of our own.

"Matt…" Takeru gestured pointedly.

"Yeah, we're going. I'm sorry to rush off, and it was nice seeing you again, Lily." I waved and started moving through the crowded park, already looking for our absent friends. I heard Sora and Takeru giving their own farewells behind me and their footfalls as they hurried after me. I reached around myself and unclipped my Digivice from my belt, pausing to look down at the little screen and get my bearings.

"Matt?" Sora came up on one side of me and looked down at my hand. Takeru came up beside her, already searching with his D3 as I was. "Oh! There!" She exclaimed as a set of blips appeared on our Digidestined radar detectors.

"Come on, guys!" Takeru led the way.

We found them not far from the concert stage, in a relatively quiet area of the park. Hikari sat on the grass-covered ground, supported by Miyako at her back. Taichi knelt next to his sister, trying to reassure her and provide comfort. Izzy stood slightly apart, on guard and looking around – probably for us. I waved when he looked in our direction, and I saw the relief when he spotted us.

"Hikari!" Takeru dropped down next to his girlfriend immediately, taking her free hand in his. "Fell, huh?"

She tried to smile, but she was obviously in pain and her face simply couldn't do it, instead looking pinched with how badly it hurt.

"The ground is pretty uneven over there." Hikari said, wincing as Taichi let Sora take the hand he'd been holding and carefully began rolling her sock down to try and assess the damage. "I wasn't paying attention to where I was walking, and I tripped. Ouch! Yagami Taichi!"

"Sorry, sorry…" big brother Taichi looked as pained as she probably felt. "You've got some fairly spectacular bruising already starting, sweetheart, and I think we should leave your shoe on until we get you home to keep the swelling under control until I can ice this." Taichi gently rolled her sock back up. "I'll take you back to Matt's, Hikari, and I'll ask Joe to stop by after his shift to take a better look at you." He glanced at me – as if he needed my permission, the idiot – and I nodded.

"I'll call Joe for you, Taichi." Izzy declared, already dialing his cell phone.

"Thanks, Izzy." Taichi knelt in front of his sister, his back to her. "Hop on, Kari, and I'll carry you so you don't have to put any weight on that foot."

"Don't you think I'm a little too big for that anymore, Taichi?" She grumbled, but with Takeru and Sora's help, she draped herself over her brother's back and he slowly got to his feet.

"You're a featherweight, Kiddo." He replied, grinning at her complaint. "Comfy back there?" He teased.

She sighed and rested her chin on his shoulder. "I suppose."

Miyako laid a hand on Takeru's arm and squeezed. "Izzy and I have to get going anyway, so we'll go with Taichi and Hikari, Takeru." She glanced at Sora with a smile. "You and Sora should stick around with Matt a while longer."

"You sure?" Takeru asked, frowning. He looked at Hikari in question, clearly torn.

"I'm fine, Keru." Our Light reassured him. "You can come home with Matt and seem me later, though."

"Of course." I agreed, though I wasn't going to protest if all of them wanted to go with her.

"Well, okay. If you're sure."

Taichi gave me an apologetic look. "Sorry to run out on you, Matt. Break a leg with your next performance!"

I rolled my eyes. "Thanks, Taichi. Go on, get going." I waved them along. "Yell if you need anything."

Izzy hung up and joined us again. "Joe said he'd be over as soon as he can make it, Taichi. He said to get her home, keep the foot elevated, and to alternate cold and heat packs to help with the inflammation and swelling."

"Yeah, that much I knew. Come on, then." Taichi turned and started what was going to be a longer than normal walk home with his passenger. Miyako and Izzy said good bye, wished me luck, and hurried after him.

Suddenly Miyako turned and came running back to us, shoving a large bag into my hands.

"Almost forgot! Here's lunch. You guys can eat what you want and bring the rest back later." One bright grin and she was running full tilt to rejoin the others.

"Thanks Miya!" Sora called after her.

I shrugged, chuckling at her vivacious nature. "Shall we?" I asked the others. Nodding, we sat right where we were and dug in.

* * *

By the time we finished eating and cleaned up, the clouds had gone from threatening a typical Tokyo downpour to a real-live thunderstorm. Rumbles of distant thunder and the ever increasing darkness of those clouds prompted me to leave Takeru and Sora to go find my band and then find our connection to the festival organizers, the person in charge of PR, to find out what the verdict was on continuing the concerts in the on-coming weather.

I found my band easily enough. They were parked in the seats right near the stage off to one side, reserved for the performers to watch the other acts. Turns out we didn't have to go searching for our PR person, because as soon as the band on stage finished their last song, one of the major, in-charge types got up on stage and announced their regret that due to the severe storm expected, the rest of today's live scheduled performances were cancelled in the interest of safety.

So the guys and I went to pack up our instruments and equipment. I let Sora and Takeru know what was happening, and that I'd meet them in half an hour to head home, with a quick text message on my D-Terminal.

We were loading equipment into the van (belonging to our drummer) when I heard a loud voice call my name.

"Matt!" It was our PR contact, Hisano Tami. "Hey, Matt!"

I climbed out the back of the van and walked over to where she stood waving at us.

"Tami." I greeted her. "Need something?"

"I wanted to pass this along to you," she handed me a cheque in an envelope, made out to me (which would soon be cashed and divided up between all of my band members and myself), "with many thanks from our organizers. It's the full amount we agreed on, despite not getting to perform your last set."

"Oh! Uh wow, thank you very much for that." I slid the cheque into a pocket. "Not a problem. Not your fault or ours that the weather refuses to cooperate today." Tami winked, grinning at me. "And I was wondering if you and your band could do one teensy little favour for me?"

I blinked. "Such as?"

"You have some very eager fans who would love to meet you and maybe get all of your autographs? It's only a couple!" She hastened to explain at my less than enthusiastic expression. "They were a bit disappointed when we cancelled your final performance, and I said I would ask…"

I sighed, frowned, and debated silently. Really I just wanted to say no because I, for one, didn't feel like dealing with fans right now, and two, wanted to get home to find out how Hikari was. However, if I refused, it would be bad PR for us with not only our fans but the organizers of the festival, who also coordinated a great many of the large events in the city, and we could lose any further invitations to play at some of those events.

"Let me consult the guys, and if they're fine with it, we'll do it. Otherwise, I really need to get going. I've got people waiting for me." I held up a hand as I backed away. "Be right back."

After a quick discussion (because the band was more than happy to play with the fans whenever possible) we were following Tami around the staging and "backstage" area to where the volunteer crew were cleaning up and gathering the chairs. At first, all I could see was a small crowd of young girls – probably just starting junior high. There was one adult among them, and as soon as she turned to face in our direction, I recognized Lily.

Oh joy. This, then, must be her little sister and friends.

Tami led us over and took charge. "Okay, girls! You're very lucky today! The guys were just packing up, and they agreed to a few autographs before they left." She had us line up and handed each one of us a good marker, then got all the girls in a line so they could move along one at a time and get each of our signatures.

I took it like the attention whore/rock star I was supposed to be, putting on my public, charismatic smile. It was a little hard to keep a straight face, though, because Lily stood back with Tami, making faces behind the girls at me.

The last of them was, apparently, the infamous little sister. She looked much like Lily, and she did that fangirl squeal thing when I signed her CD – one of our albums – and gave her a smile.

"Matt, we're going to finish packing and get out of here." My drummer informed me as the group of girls went into a huddled over their treasures. "You don't have to come back. You better get home to your friend."

"Thanks, man. I'll call in a couple days to confirm that next gig." I waved at them as they walked off.

Tami (Lily following unobtrusively) joined me and shook my hand briefly. "Thanks for your hard work, Yamato, and for seeing to your fans. I've got to run, but I'm sure we'll be in touch."

"Sure, Tami. Thank you and the other organizers for the opportunity to play here."

"Will do." She smiled widely and hurried away, cell phone in hand.

Turning to Lily, I raised an eyebrow. She gave me a sheepishly apologetic expression and shrugged helplessly.

"I'm sorry, Matt. I opened my big mouth and it just slipped out that I'd run into you. Tami's a friend from university, so…when the brat wouldn't take 'no' for an answer, I gave Tami a call." Lilly explained.

"No harm done." I accepted. I couldn't blame her really. Dealing with crazed fans is not easy to do, even if one of those fans is a sibling. I should know."

Daisuke's had _lots_ of practice, after all.

"Is your friend okay? The one who hurt her ankle?" Lily asked.

"I don't know. Her brother took her home – my place – and a friend will stop by after his shift and check her out. He's a doctor." I added.

"Ah. I hope she isn't seriously hurt and that her recovery is swift."

"Thanks." I nodded. "She'll be fine. She's tough, our Hikari."

Lily smiled at the fond, proud tone of my voice. "If she's one of you, then she'd have to be."

I smiled mysteriously. Lily had no idea, psychic or not.

"So…" Lily studied me curiously, arms folding across her chest. My eyebrow went up in inquiry. "I gotta know…"

"What?" Now I eyed her suspiciously.

"How's that love-life you were avoiding at the Amusement Park that day?"

I nearly fell over. Wow, that was _really_ quite audacious of her. I stared hard at her, stiffening in defense and the beginnings of righteous indignation.

"Excuse me?"

Her face fell and she held up her hands defensively at my tone. Completely serious now, she apologized.

"Okay, I'm sorry! That was a stupid thing to ask you. None of my business, especially when you hardly know me." I huffed, relenting a bit, and turned off my death-glare. "It's my abilities. Because I see so much and know so much about perfect strangers, I sometimes forget that they _are_ strangers and…open mouth, insert foot."

I sighed. "Forget it."

She looked away. "I am sorry, Matt. I guess my curiosity overrode my manners. I just…was really intrigued, that day, to meet that many of the Chosen, and to find this little romance story blooming. I mean, knowing what you all went through, the things you did, I was just really glad to see that you'd all find some real happiness."

I thrust my hands into my jacket pockets, my shoulders hunching slightly. "Yeah, well, the future's not set in stone. Things can change in a heart beat." I refused to think about how far away from my happiness I was – no Taichi was no happiness, to me.

She frowned, but nodded. "So true." Then her eyes got that spooky, far-off blankness and I suppressed a sudden need to make my excuses and escape. Lily held out a hand to me. "I can see more stormy weather for you – and I don't mean the kind Mother Nature comes up with. But it's not very clear why. Give me your hand, Matt, and I might see it clearer."

I stared at her hand, unable to take my eyes off it. Before I knew it, I had reached out in response and my fingers hit her palm. Her eyes closed and her breath caught, then slowed and deepened.

Maybe it was curiosity, maybe I'm a sucker for allowing myself to let her use something on me that I don't actually believe in, and maybe there was still enough deluded hope left in me to make me a glutton for punishment. But I let her keep my hand and I waited.

"This is very odd. I don't think I've ever experienced this before." Lily said slowly, a frown marring her expression. Her head canted to the side as if she were listening to something only she could hear. "I see turmoil coming soon for you, Matt. I don't know what it is, but there's an event that will…there's deep, emotional pain and sadness, but…damn." She opened her eyes and let go of my hand, a frustrated snarl sneaking out.

"I did not understand a word of that." I felt obliged to point out.

"Neither did I. Normally when I see storms around a person, it means there will be trouble in their life. But this…was different." Lily was pacing a neat little path back and forth while she thought this thing of hers through.

"Different, how?" Belief or not, it was interesting and she didn't come across as crazy to me, even if she did claim psychic ability.

"I think something will happen. But it seemed like the storm was…I don't know. Distorted? Like I thought I was seeing the storm, but I really wasn't. An illusion? Or…oh!" She suddenly stopped and declared, "I've got it! Some big thing will happen, but it will be construed in such a way that it wasn't meant to be and that's why the storm I saw was all weird."

I just blinked at her, not even pretending to understand.

"So you still haven't talked to…the person, yet?" Lily shook her head. "What's holding you back?" Her eyes went wide and she was shaking her head more vehemently now. "Okay, that's the other foot stuffing itself in my mouth. Pretend I never said that."

"Yeah." I was going to do that anyway. "Uh, as much as I appreciate it, I should really get going before Sora and Takeru come looking for me. He's probably going crazy worrying about Hikari, so…" I gave her a brief (albeit tight) smile.

"Of course." Lily nodded, looking very embarrassed and apologetic. "I'm sorry for holding you back, Matt. And for…the rest."

"It's fine. Anyway, I'll see you around. Enjoy the rest of the festival." I wished her in farewell, turning to walk away.

"Wait, Matt!" Lily laid a hand on my arm as I turned, then quickly removed it. "I know you don't really believe me, and you don't know me so you have no reason to trust me, but I have to say it anyway."

I glanced back at her, listening because I just couldn't walk away without hearing her out. No doubt I was channeling Ken and his Kindness.

Lily's eyes met mine, begging me to take her words to heart. "Matt, whatever it is that might happen…try to remember that not everything is as it seems, and that assumptions rarely let you arrive at the truth."

I frowned a little, then nodded. As I walked off in search of my brother and Sora, I filed her advice away to analyze later. It was too cryptic to be concerned about when I had other things to think of.

* * *

When we got home Joe was still there, visiting with Taichi and Hikari. The Child of Light lay on the sofa, with her bad ankle lying propped up on a pillow on her brother's lap. Taichi was holding a Ziploc bag full of ice over the injury and I spotted the heat pack he'd been alternating the ice with lying on the coffee table.

"Hey, guys." I greeted them as I entered the living room. "Hikari, how's the foot?"

"Hikari!" I blinked and Takeru was just suddenly there beside her, sitting on the floor near her head and reaching for her hand.

"Don't look so worried, Takeru." She scolded, but held his hand tightly anyway. "I'm fine. Joe says it's not broken or anything, just sprained."

"That's good news." I said, glancing down at Taichi, who looked up at me with a small smile.

"It's still going to be a pain." Taichi reminded us all softly, gently removing the ice. "How's it look now, Joe?"

He moved from his seat on the armchair and studied the damage. "Hmm…the swelling's gone down quite a bit. I can wrap it in a tensor bandage for now, if you want, but tomorrow you should go to a pharmacy and pick up a brace." Joe straightened and pushed his glasses back up his nose. He gazed down the length of the sofa at Hikari, Takeru, and Sora (who'd come around the less crowded end of the sofa to join us). "It goes on like a boot – or an ice skate – and it laces up the way skates do. It has hard, plastic guards on the sides that will prevent you from turning your ankle any direction that would make it all worse, and you can walk in it."

Hikari nodded. "Okay. Thanks, Joe."

"Anytime!" He looked so pleased to have been useful, it was kind of funny. I smiled.

"I'll go get one for you in the morning." Takeru declared in his chivalrous way.

"Thank you, Takeru." She smiled sweetly at him. Taichi and I exchanged faces at the fluff our siblings generated (like the good older brothers we tried so hard to be). Sora caught us and gave us a warning glare, and we just looked back at her, innocent as could be.

"Well, keep it elevated for a few more days whenever you're sitting down, wear the brace whenever you walk on it for about two weeks, and if it still hurts by then, then you let me know and we'll go from there." Joe smiled at his patient. "I'm pretty sure it's only a sprain, though. Okay, Hikari?"

"Yep. I'll be good, Joe."

"Good. I'm going to head home now." Joe waved at us all and paused to pat Taichi on the shoulder. "Good luck with camp, Taichi."

"Thanks, Joe. See you when I get back." Taichi returned.

"We should go, too." Sora said, glancing at her watch. "Taichi should go to be early and get a final good night's sleep before he leaves."

My best friend looked like he wanted to argue but one threatening glance from his baby sister as she sat up and moved her foot off his lap kept him silent. Pouting, but silent.

"Do you want me to call a cab for you?" I asked, reaching for the cordless handset. Sora nodded gratefully.

"Thanks, Matt. I'll pare the fare."

I waved it off, dialing 411 to ask for a taxi service.

Fifteen minutes later, Taichi and I saw Sora, Hikari, and my brother off, Hikari supported on either side by her companions. Closing the door behind them I sighed, smiling to myself.

"What?" Taichi asked, seeing it.

I followed him back to the living room where he proceeded to tidy up the mess he'd made with the ice, heat pack, pillows, and empty water bottles. "Oh, nothing. I was just amused by our overly saccharine siblings, is all."

He rolled his eyes, chuckling. "Gods, yeah. I swear they sparkle at each other like characters in anime do." He dumped the bottles into the recycling and dusted his hands. "How far do you think they've gone?" Taichi wondered.

"No farther than some hot making out." I replied, frowning. It wasn't something I really wanted to think about. I mean come on! It's my little brother and Taichi's little sister! I don't need those mental images, thanks.

Taichi sat beside me at the counter. "It's weird to associate…_that_ with Kari. And Takeru. Together." He looked about as happy at those mental images as I felt.

"No shit." I agreed wholeheartedly. "But you and I both know it's only a matter of time. They'll graduate in a couple of years, and no doubt the wedding will shortly follow."

We turned our heads to stare at each other with similarly horrified expressions.

"Well," Taichi sighed in resignation, "at least I know Takeru would never hurt her, and he'll protect her with everything he has in my place."

I nodded. "He will. He'll give her the world. And I know _he's_ safe with _her_. They've belonged to each other since Hikari joined us, after all."

"Yeah."

After several minutes of silence, spent contemplating our siblings, the passage of time, and our roles in their lives, Taichi suddenly yawned loudly.

"Sorry. I'm bushed, Yama."

"Go to bed, Tai. You've got an early morning."

"Ugh. Good night." Taichi slid off his stool and wandered off down the hall.

I went to bed, too, not long after – considering I wanted to be up so that I could see him off in the morning.

* * *

Since I didn't actually look at the alarm clock when I set it and crawled into bed (meaning I didn't not what time it actually was), I have no idea how long I stayed asleep for until I was suddenly wide awake and it sounded like the world was ending outside.

Thunder boomed and crashed, lightening turned night to day, and the building shook with the force of it. I could hear the wind howling and the rain pelting every surface it touched.

I rolled over, facing away from my windows, and dragged my pillow over my head, but it was no use. After how ever many minutes of trying to go back to sleep, I just couldn't do it with all that light flashing – even with my blinds _closed_.

Sleep deprived, annoyed, and with one hell of a head of bed-hair, I rolled out of bed, taking my pillow with me and trudged blearily down the hall to Taichi's room.

Why there? No place else in my house where there's a place to sleep and no windows. Besides, it wasn't like Taichi didn't have room with that big bed of his.

I barged right in, stumbled to the bed, and managed to catch myself before simply throwing myself down onto it. Wouldn't do to land on top of Taichi – interesting as it would be. Instead I cautiously plunked down on the edge and felt around in the dark until I found the large lump of him.

Then I shook him insistently.

"Tai…" I called noisily, continuing to nudge him. "Taichi…"

"Nnugh…wha'?" He came sort of awake and slapped at my hand. "G'way."

"It's storming, and I can't sleep with all the night and noise. Shove over and let me sleep in here."

He didn't even answer me, just rolled away to the far side of the bed. I took that as an 'I don't care' and slid under the covers with him.

Fifteen or so minutes later, I was kicking them off again because Taichi's a freaking furnace! How any one person can emit that amount of body heat and not freeze to death is beyond me.

I'd finally settled in comfortably, and was just about out for the count, when Taichi's weight beside me shifted and I felt him snuggling up to my back as I lay on my side faced away from him. When he fell silent again, and his breathing turned into soft snuffling sounds, I relaxed and let myself fall asleep once more.

Sometime during the night, I began to dream. Now, I realize that I'm a normal, healthy teenaged male, and having erotic dreams that I don't actually remember in the morning (waking with sticky, damp sheets and/or pajamas, and sometimes with a morning erection as proof) is all perfectly normal and to be expected. However, I was not expecting to do so when I was sharing Taichi's bed – no matter how I truly felt for him. Even more unexpected was for Taichi to wake up in the same condition as I.

How do I know? This is the morning where everything changed forever for me. Allow me to explain…

I came to slowly, unaware – at first – of where I was or who I was with. My brain usually takes a few minutes to fully engage when I wake up, but this time it took a lot longer, distracted as it was, and by then it was far too late.

I lay on my side just as I'd fallen asleep, apparently having not moved at all during my slumber. Taichi was now fully spooned up to my back, however, instead of just curled against me. Somehow, one of his arms became my pillow while his free arm draped itself around my torso, that hand actually lying directly over my heart. His breathing ruffled the hairs on the back of my neck. Taichi's leg was insinuated between my own, his thigh pressing quite nicely into my balls, and…his good morning was nestled against my ass, and I could feel it perfectly despite two layers of clothing between us.

Of course, I still wasn't fully awake yet, and besides! Taichi's alarm clock hadn't gone off yet so I didn't need to get up. And I'm not ashamed to admit that I felt warm, comfortable and safe as I was, so I just dozed off again.

I was dreaming. Yes, one of _those_ – this time probably _because_ I was entwined so intimately with Taichi. And it was certainly the Child of Courage who was the centre of my fantasy.

**_(CONTENT EDITED OUT!!)_**

As I was coming down from a rather incredible high, I felt Taichi's body shudder against me, and as my senses returned I could hear him panting heavily, feel it at the nape of my neck, and I could no longer feel the tell-tale hardness of his erection pressed up to my ass. I guess it had been enough for him, too.

If I'd have been a cat (or a Tailmon) I'd have started purring in satisfaction.

Except that the entire moment of afterglow was completely shattered by the sudden, glaring interference of the alarm clock going off. Insistent and gradually increasing in volume, the beeping continued until Taichi moved to shut it off…

…which required him to pull his hand out of my pajama pants.

I felt him roll away, freezing in place and going numb with shock in his wake.

Oh.

My.

GOD.

Not…a dream.

* * *

**Kali Notes:** I know it's cliché, and I know I'm the most evil person in the whole of existence...but it's only cliché because it works! XD Stay tuned… **Please R/R!!**

**Relevant Episodes: **Nothing specific this chapter!


	13. Chapter 13

**Kali Notes:** A quick note: I **will not** individually email or PM links for every request I get to any "unedited" content or other sites where my fics are found. Those links are all in my author's bio page on ffnet, on my LJ, my MSN space, etc. That's just too time consuming and I don't have a lot of time as it is! I'm sorry, but if you're too lazy to look it up yourself that's your own problem. If you genuinely didn't know, that's fine, but now you do. I don't mean to sound witchy about it, but I get a lot of these requests for links and I just don't have the time to sit and respond to every single one of them. Oh, and to those who were confused by the 'edited out' section of the last chapter on ffnet, it was done because that site does not accept adult content (and Fido has kicked me off enough times before that I don't risk it any longer). I left enough that readers would know something happened, but nothing graphic or offensive to underage eyes (according to Fido, anyway). So if that helps, great! Thanks for the reviews and comments, my readers! And you thought I was torturing poor Yamato before… Kali is in no way done yet!

**Warnings: **Yaoi, adult language, adult situations, and cavity-inducing WAFF.

**Disclaimer:** Kali & muses do not own Digimon or its characters. We're just borrowing them for the sake of this fic.

**Pairings:** Taito! With DaiKen, Takari, and mentioning of Joe/Mimi & Izzy/Miyako.

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**_Chapter 13_**

The beeping stopped, and I could sense Taichi still sitting on the bed behind me. I decided (frantically trying to come up with a course of action that wouldn't get me pounded into the ground or worse, lost me Taichi's friendship) that faking unconsciousness and pretending it never happened was a really good idea.

Even though I was mentally panicking and wishing I could roll over and tell him the truth, I forced my breathing to even out and concentrated on keeping it that way.

"Yama?" I heard him ask hesitantly, his voice sounding a little panicky and hoarse. Glad I wasn't the only one freaking – though for entirely different reasons, no doubt. I kept on with the breathing, lying there limply. "Are…" he cleared his throat, "Are you awake?"

When I didn't answer, I heard him mutter, "Shit, what _now_?" then felt his weight leave the bed. Soon I heard some rustling around followed by hurried footsteps as he practically ran from the room.

The second I heard the bathroom door close down the hall, I sat up and stared blindly down at my now very unpleasant and uncomfortable pants.

The water went on, and that was my cue to book. Grabbing my pillow, I zipped out of Taichi's room and into my own, blessed sanctuary.

My legs fell out from under me and I dropped face first onto my own bed. Burying my face in my pillow, I let out a full-voiced scream of humiliated pain, lust, and soul-wrenching grief as the reality of it all poured over me.

My best friend – unaware of how I felt about him and in love with someone else, himself – had just jerked me off in our supposed sleep, giving me the best damn orgasm I've _ever_ had (even if my past experience with them has been only with my own hands), and it was not only unintentional but now also totally unmentionable!

Fortuna, you fickle bitch! Do you just hate me or is there some other reason you decided to make me absolutely miserable?

I cursed every force of nature, every deity I could think of for several minutes. All the while sobbing it all out into my pillow until I'd done a good job of soaking the poor abused thing.

What was worse, was that I was going to remember every single sensation, every feeling that had occurred for the rest of my life. It would always be there, in the back of my mind. I don't think I can live with that – though I guess I don't have much choice.

I heard the water go off, and forced myself to sit up and calm down. Taking several deep breaths, I thought about what to do next.

Taichi was leaving. He'd be gone for a week. Plenty of time for me to have a breakdown and get over it (or at least build up enough walls and a decent mask to hide behind).

So I would go put on some coffee and make breakfast after I did a quick clean up job of myself while Taichi go ready and packed up the last of his bag for the week. Then I'd feed him, pretend nothing happened, and send him on his way.

"And if he mentions it?" A nasty, unwelcome voice wondered in my head. It was my very own inner bitch, who only comes out when I'm trying to hide from myself. Growling at it and threatening to cut off its supply of dark chocolate (my one vice), I told it I would deal with that somehow if it happened. Yes, I was relying on Taichi being far too embarrassed himself to bring it up. So the fuck what?

Well, Fortuna and her twin sister, Fate, are equal opportunity bitches, and I swear they're out to get me. It's a bloody conspiracy!

I listened at the door until I heard Taichi vacate the bathroom, then slipped in as fast as possible. I was clean and dressed in less than twenty minutes – a new Yamato record. I haven't been that quick since I was a kid.

I already had the coffee brewing and was just mixing a batch of pancakes when Taichi appeared. I went about putting together breakfast nervously as he bypassed the kitchen to drop his duffel bag and backpack at the front door. When he came in, slowly making his way to the counter where he sat on a stool, I could _feel_ his eyes burning holes into the back of my head – me pretending to be very busy watching my pancakes cook on the griddle and pouring coffee regardless of his attention.

"Good morning." He finally broke the silence that was nearly chocking me. Taichi sounded a tad unsure, but otherwise I couldn't detect any hint of anything else. He sounded perfectly normal.

Plastering my very best morning smile on my face, I turned and brought him a plate of pancakes and a mug of coffee. "Good morning." I managed in return with as much false cheeriness as I could muster. I set the food in front of him and turned away to get toppings for his pancakes. "What do you want with that? There's regular syrup, strawberry syrup, whipped cream, butter…"

"Butter and regular syrup, thanks." I grabbed it from the fridge and put it on the counter for him. "Yama…"

"Hmm?" I gave him my back and a non-committal noise of acknowledgement, slowly buttering toast for myself (not that I was going to be able to eat it with my gut twisted into all these knots).

"Matt," I flinched, "about earlier…"

My inner bitch raised her ugly, fat head and smirked triumphantly at me in an 'I told you so!' kind of way. I hung my head and gripped the counter, unwilling to face Taichi with my utter humiliation.

"What about it?" I asked, unable to keep my embarrassment and the tension it caused out of my voice.

"I, uh…there isn't really time to talk about it properly, since I've got to get going right away…" he said, though I couldn't read his tone at all, which only served to worry and bother me more.

_This is it._ I thought numbly. _He's going to turn me away as gently as he can then run off to camp and let me stew in my own misery._ So…I decided to make it easier for him. He couldn't reject me if I got there first, right?

"There's nothing to talk about." I stated neutrally. "We're both guys. Teens running on a cocktail of hormones. It happens."

Silence. Then, "So you're okay? We're okay?" I felt rather pleased with myself at that point. He didn't call me on that flimsy veneer of logic and I felt sure he would drop the subject, and we'd be fine. After all, I had a week to wrestle myself into submission and get a hold of my emotional reigns again.

"We're good." I said firmly, reaching for the coffee pot again. "Don't worry about it."

Again, silence. I poured my coffee, inhaling that wonderful, soothing scent desperately.

"Then why won't you look at me, Matt?" Came the quiet, subdued question. I nearly dropped the coffee pot. With a shaking hand, I put it back carefully on the hotplate and reluctantly turned to face him. I really had to fight to keep my face blank, but I found I could _not_ look him in the eye. And of course he called me on it. "You still aren't. Look, I'm sorry. For what it's worth. It was an embarrassing way to wake up. I…I didn't mean…"

I closed my eyes and swallowed back the pain that welled up. Of course he hadn't meant to. Neither had I. But it happened. There wasn't anything else I could say, so I nodded and whispered, "You'd better hurry and eat, Taichi. You'll be late."

For one brief second, just as I opened my eyes, I thought I saw a stricken expression of loss flash over his face. But then he closed up better than Digitamamon, nodded stiffly, and proceeded to wolf down his pancakes at a speed that should have made him ill.

I leaned against the counter, sipping my coffee, even as it churned in my stomach, and looked everywhere but at my greatest weakness. Oh, he kept flicking assessing glances at me the whole time, but he didn't say another word.

It didn't take him long to finish. Before I knew it, he was putting his dishes in the dishwasher and heading for the door.

"Thank you for breakfast, Matt." He said as he passed me. It hadn't escaped me that he wasn't calling me 'Yama' anymore.

"Sure." was all I could manage. I followed him, watched him pull on his shoes and grab his jacket from the coat closet. "Have fun, and good luck with the scouts." That, at least, I could say with sincerity and honesty.

"Thanks." Taichi pulled open the door after putting on his backpack and picking up his duffel bag full of his equipment. He paused in the open door, and glanced back at me over his shoulder. "We'll have a better talk when I get back." He said, sounding more like an order than a suggestion or even a promise.

Then he was gone, before I could form a reply – confirmation or refusal.

The sound of that closing door was a hammer on my fragile heart. It sounded like it splintered into pieces then shattered into dust.

I was now alone. For one week. And somehow, I had to figure out how to deal.

* * *

The only word I can use to describe the rest of the day was 'melancholy.' Even the weather felt that way. The storm had passed, but the sky was still gloomy and dark with clouds. I wallowed in misery and depression for two whole days – and cleaned the entire apartment from top to bottom until every surface gleamed so brightly one could almost see their reflection.

When Dad stopped by on Sunday to see how everything was going for us on our own, he was shocked at the spotlessness. He'd never seen it so clean.

"What happened, Yamato?" He asked me after he filled me in on his new job, his new co-workers and staff, and life in Kyoto.

"Nothing." I replied automatically, looking around the room. "Just a little disagreement with Taichi. I'm sure we'll work it out when he gets back from camp."

"Matt...son, you know better than to try and fool me." Dad eyed me, concern in his eyes. "You don't clean like this unless something's really bothering you."

I sighed and curled my legs under myself, huddling in one corner of the sofa defensively. "Maybe it is, but I can't do anything about it while Taichi is gone. And I _really_ don't want to talk about it, Dad."

He sighed, too, running a hand through his hair. "I know. I don't want to intrude on your personal life, Matt. I just worry about you, that's all. You know you can talk to me about anything, right?"

I cracked a very faint smile for him. "Yes, Dad."

"Good." He paused, frowning indecisively. "Just answer one question, then I'll leave it alone."

Warily, I stared at him. "What?"

"Why haven't you told him how you really feel? He's a great guy, Matt, and I already think of him as one of my own kids."

My jaw nearly unhinged when it dropped open. I gasped in shock. How the _hell_ does my father know about that?!

"What?" I croaked.

"What?" He echoed, looking confused and a little flustered. "Why are you so surprised that I've paid attention to your life, Matt?"

"But…this is different! This…I…you…" Great. Everyone meet Ishida Yamato, stuttering idiot. I mean, come on!

It really threw me because I really hadn't known Dad paid that close of attention. I _had_ told him, a long time ago, that I was bi-sexual because, well…he tried giving me the 'birds and bees' speech not long before I started dating Sora. I had to break it to him that we kids these days knew way more about sex than he had at our age, and that I'd already dated both guys and girls (pre-Sora) – not that it lasted long or anything actually happened. Dad was surprisingly cool with it. It didn't bother him at all.

"Son, I've known you've felt more for Taichi than you admitted to all along." Dad confessed, looking sheepish. "He's always been good for you – a friend, rival, or whatever – and I could see you spending your life with him a lot easier than ever could with any of your other friends. I hoped you would have the guts to tell him once you figured it out."

Groaning, I dropped my head into my hands and desperately tried not to loose it. When I felt I had some semblance of control again, I glanced up.

"I only figured it out recently, okay? And it hasn't been a good time for that sort of discussion with Taichi." Those were my excuses and I'd stick stubbornly to them with my every breath. "And why the hell haven't you said anything sooner? You can't just drop a bomb like that on a guy!"

"Because you should have come to me on your own, but since you didn't, I decided to let you know it was okay." Dad smiled, watching me flail silently across from him. "Learn from my mistakes, Yamato, and grab love when you find it. Then, don't let it go."

When he left that evening, I still hadn't told him anything, but at least I knew he was okay with the possibility – even though there _wasn't_ one. That was day three.

I had two practice sessions with the band before the concert, which went off with very little complication, and I felt it was a good performance. My band, however, pointed out that 'good' wouldn't get us far, and that I'd had better ones. Day four sucked, thanks.

Now I was heartbroken _and_ guilt-ridden for letting my band down. I wasn't dealing very well with any of this.

None of the smaller gigs we played went any better than the concert. Then again, they weren't worse, either. I tried! I really did. But I lost my performing spirit somewhere, and I couldn't seem to find it no matter what I did.

Day seven arrived bright and sunny. I barely even noticed. By now I was a barely functioning zombie. I'd hardly slept all week because my subconscious tended to dwell on that fateful non-dream, and I could only lie in bed and want. Crave. Need. Cold showers didn't work either. I swear they're a complete myth.

Today I _had_ to do something about this because Taichi was going to be back the next day. I had to be able to turn off my emotions or _something_ – anything! – or else…I would have finally found something that would come between us and break us apart.

It was some time around noon, and I was sitting out on the balcony – on the floor, not a chair or anything. I couldn't seem to breathe inside anymore, and everywhere I looked I found Taichi, so I ended up outside, leaning against the partition and staring out at the city beyond without really seeing any of it.

Takeru found me there. Apparently he'd called, sent me a message via D-Terminal, and even called around to everyone (when I didn't get back to him) looking for me. This, by the way, he grumbled and scolded me for even as he dragged my sorry ass back inside. I didn't put much of a fight up, though, and hardly said a word otherwise.

It was bad of me, wrong of me, to do this to him and I knew it, but I couldn't find it in me to care. Worrying about me would hurt him, but he'd be fine. After all, he was loved and he loved in return. Openly.

Ah. I had enough of a brainstorm then to realize I was jealous of him. He had what I wanted most, _and_ he could tell Hikari he loved her.

"Matt, what the hell is wrong? Why didn't you call me back or answer the door when I knocked?" Takeru demanded, dumping me on the sofa. I barely reacted. A numb, lethargic fog seemed to be weighing me down, and any fight I'd have left in me drowned with my emotions. Lying on the sofa I stared blankly up at my little brother, who frowned and took a good, long look at me. "Gods, Matt…look at you. What happened?"

Blue eyes, so much like my own but for a coupler shades darker, peered into me and found no resistance. Whatever he saw in me made him go pale, and his hand reached for my hair. He gently brushed it out of my face and with an aching voice, asked me again, pleaded with me, for answers. "Please, Matt…I can't help if you don't tell me what's wrong, if you don't tell me what'd done this to you."

I closed my eyes painfully. I wanted to tell him, because I hated to see that look on his face – especially when I put it there. But…my voice didn't want to work. Opening my eyes, I tried to make him understand just by staring back at him. I don't know what it was, but it felt like there was something actually holding my voice back – holding _me_ back. I guess my attempts at subliminal messages wasn't enough because he only took my hand and held it tightly between his own.

"Have you eaten yet today?" he asked. I shook my head, confused. What did that have to do with it? Besides, my appetite took off with my emotions a long time ago. "Matt!" He chided me, releasing my hand. "Stay here, and I'll make you something. Don't worry," he added when I shook my head again in refusal, "it'll just be some soup. And tea. You've got to eat, Yamato." Takeru rushed off to the kitchen.

I could hear him banging around, obviously being serious about making me eat something. And although he probably figured I couldn't hear him, or maybe wasn't paying attention, I suddenly realized he was talking to someone on the phone.

Sighing, I rolled over onto my other side, facing the back of the sofa. I shouldn't be surprised that he was calling in the cavalry. Poor kid probably had no idea what to do with me.

"Yeah, it's me." I heard Takeru say. "No, I found him. No he's not. I don't know what happened, but he's a wreck, Hikari. I've never seen him like this. No." There was a long pause where I assumed he was listening to her. "Is Sora home, too? Oh, good. Maybe you both should come over. I don't know what to do here." Pause. "He won't _tell_ me. Uh huh…actually, it sort of reminds me of that time you were pulled into that other dimension where the Dark Ocean was." Another long pause. "Okay, well hurry over, then. Door will be unlocked so just come in. Thanks, my Light."

A few more minutes of banging around and he was coming back into the living room carrying a bowl of noodle soup and an oversized mug of chamomile tea. I made the effort to roll over again, but that was it.

Something must have been on my face – like open hostility – because Takeru sighed, setting the food down on the coffee table. "Don't look at me like that, Matt. If you won't take care of yourself, then I'll take care of you. So sit down on the floor, here, at the table and eat."

Passively, I obeyed. I couldn't really taster anything, didn't really feel a difference between hungry or not, but I ate. Takeru watched me critically for a moment, then proceeded to resume the inquisition.

"Let's play twenty questions – only there's no limit to the number I can ask, and you just have to nod or grunt or something for 'yes' and shake your head for 'no.'

I looked at him, and blinked slowly. He frowned, but persisted.

"Are you sick?" I shook my head, not really sure. Something was wrong, but I didn't feel ill. "Are you injured?" No. That much I knew – unless being broken hearted counts. Takeru looked relieved though. "Okay, then you're not in shock or something, you're just what? Depressed? No, never mind. I can see that you are. Have you felt like this for long? Say…a month?"

Like this? No. There's depressed, and then there's _depressed_. I looked down at the soup bowl and blinked, realizing I'd actually eaten all of it without noticing. I pushed the bowl aside.

"Want more?" Takeru asked hopefully (no pun intended). I shook my head and his face fell. "Well, at least you had something. Have you felt like this for…two weeks?" No. "A week?" I thought about it, then made a 'so-so' motion with my hand. I've been a wreck all week, but it hasn't been like this until today. "Okay. But was it this bad all wee? Because you seemed alright every time I talked to you." Takeru watched me, his concern deepening. "So basically something made you fall into this funk about a week ago and it just got worse every day."

Yeah, pretty much. Uh oh…I knew that look. Takeru is way too smart and he knows me far too well. He was putting the pieces together.

"The only thing that happened is that Hikari had that accident, and Taichi went to camp." His gaze pierced right through me. "I highly doubt it was Hikari that put you in this condition, but that means…Taichi?" Takeru asked, his voice incredulous. He grabbed my hand. "What did he do, Matt?"

I shook my head and sighed, trying to tug my hand free. It wasn't Taichi's fault. Not consciously.

Takeru wasn't letting me go, and he was seeing way too much for my comfort. He got down on the floor beside me and made me look at him. Whatever he saw made tears well up in his eyes, and suddenly I wasn't quite as numb anymore.

My little brother was in pain, and no matter how crappy _my_ life was, I'd always try to fix it.

Now I could feel my own eyes water. I raised my free hand and rested my palm against his cheek. "Don't…" I croaked. "Don't…cry for…me."

"Matt…big brother, you can't expect me not to when you're like this and I'm totally helpless!" he exclaimed, drawing me into his arms and attempting to hug the stuffing out of me. "Please, _please_ tell me what Taichi did or said that's done this to you!"

"I…can't!" I wouldn't. There were some things he didn't need to know.

"Why?" he demanded, pushing me back enough that he could see my face. "Yamato, I'm not a little kid anymore! Stop treating me like one!"

"Not…that." I rasped in denial, pleading with him to understand. "Just…too personal."

He frowned, then his eyes went wide. "He…you…" Like I said, Takeru's no fool. He got the general idea. To my utter disbelief, he actually scowled. At me! "Wait a minute…if you two…then where's the issue?"

Say _what_?! I glared.

"I mean, Matt, you love him. Always have. Hikari and I have a long-standing bet on how long you two could stay in denial."

"What?!" Yikes. That high-pitched screech came from me?

Stricken, Takeru hurried to placate me. "It was a joke, Matt! The bet part, not the part about you being in love with Taichi."

"Not funny." I growled, starting to struggle to get away from him. How dare he make fun of it? I was dying here, and his making jokes at my expense. If this is what I got for confiding in Takeru, my mouth was staying shut.

"I'm sorry. I am. That was stupid of me." The boy can grovel when he wants to. And he still wasn't letting me go! Damn it Takeru… "I just don't understand."

"It's because he still hasn't _told_ Taichi his feelings, Takeru."

Sora's voice informed him, causing the both of us to nearly snap our necks looking up so fast. I guess we didn't hear her – or Hikari – come in. Taichi's little sister hobbled around the sofa and dropped down beside Takeru and I, reaching out to plaster her palm to my forehead.

"It's not too late." She said mysteriously, her eyes going unfocused. "It hasn't taken hold yet."

"Hikari?" Sora sat down on the couch near us, frowning in confusion and worry.

"The Darkness." Hikari explained, still doing…whatever it was she does when she's like this. And she didn't have to explain to us, Chosen Children and Bearers, what 'the Darkness' was. "His found a door and began to come through."

Takeru nodded slowly. "His depression. His negative emotions opened the door and let it out."

I blinked. _No way_. Oh, shit. _That's_ what this was! Now that they mentioned it, I was feeling an awful lot like I had in that 'cave' once, just before the battle with Piemon. The realization that what was wrong with me wasn't entirely my own fault was enough to make me start struggling against it, to push it back into the corner of my soul where it belonged.

_To step out of the Dark and back into the Light_.

Hikari's other hand shot out and flattened against my chest, right over my heart. Immediately I could feel warmth, happiness, and even love. But almost instantly, whatever was loosed inside me reacted and slapped back.

Anger – unrelenting anger – welled up, jealousy overflowed, and words I would never have said otherwise came out of me. Hurtful, mean words that were directed at each of them. I could see the pain in their faces and eyes, saw how I had the power to hurt them so easily. And that Dark part of me laughed, taking pleasure in that power. But I couldn't seem to control it, couldn't halt the flow of hostility. It was like I was watching from somewhere outside of myself. It was what I imagine is rather like being possessed.

Through it all, Takeru somehow kept me pinned, physically restrained. Who knew my little brother had gotten that strong? But I was grateful, from my abstract point of view, because if I'd harmed any of them physically I would never forgive myself. And if I'd harmed Hikari… I'd let Taichi beat me into the ground before he killed me.

Hikari, thankfully, is just as strong as Takeru. She _is_ her big brother's sister – no doubt. At one point she actually started glowing, her aura seeming to flare like a star. It nearly blinded me, but I could still see her silhouette, her eyes and the brightly shining Crest over her heart as she fought off my Darkness.

Suddenly the world seemed to stop, and I could hear their voices. I fought against the heavy weights that kept me from taking control of myself again, trying to reach out to them.

"I know you can hear us, Yamato! You have to fight it! We can't do it alone. And I know _you_ know what's happened! So fight, damn you!" Hikari commanded, in a voice I'd never heard her use before. "Because I don't want to have to explain to Taichi why you were willing to give up!"

More venomous comments and accusations came out of my mouth, almost in a panic, as if the Dark knew it was losing its grip on me. I saw Hikari grimace, then turn fierce with determination.

Then Takeru's voice was in my ear, a plea and a command all at once. "Where are you, Yamato? I know you aren't the one saying all that crap, and I know you're in there somewhere. And if you're not fighting back as hard as I know you're capable of, I will happily kick your ass! Big brother or not! Taichi will just have to wait his turn because I get first dibs!" By now he was really struggling to keep me pinned, but he somehow managed to do so and meet my eyes. His were dark, determined blue, and even he was glowing faintly now. A relieved smile flashed briefly across his face and he gave a sharp nod. "Yes. There you are. Come on, Matt. Are you going to _let_ it win?"

_Hell no_. I understood. And I should have known better. I let my guard down, forgot that I am a Bearer – a Chosen Child. I forgot, in the wake of my self-absorbed, self-pitying emotional state, that while we'd fought against the Dark and won, the Dark still existed, and was still poised on the edge ready to surge forward and steal away from the Light. I forgot that despite the end of our adventures, as a Bearer, I was still responsible for keeping the Dark held back.

I'd forgotten and the Dark found a toehold in me. And it used it. What was happening to me was my own fault. However…it was a mistake I could – _would_ – rectify, and one I would _never_ make again.

Because no matter what, holding back the Dark took precedence over everything else. And if I gave in, not matter the state of my relationship with Taichi, the Child of Courage would never forgive me, and I would never be able to look him in the eye again.

"N-no…" Yes! I said that. Me! I tried again, and as speech came back, so did the rest of my body. "No!" My body was fighting against the hold Takeru had on me again – only this time it was really me, and my struggles were with my own daemons.

I could hear the malicious whispers of the Dark in my head now. It spoke of betrayal, it spoke of disloyalty and broken trust. It even tried warning me that the others would never forgive me for the things _It_ had said.

"No!" I growled, closing my eyes and focusing inward. I could feel the parts of me where each of my friends resided, their respective attributes that reached out to me despite the shadows seething around me.

And, in the place somewhere deep in my very soul, I turned toward the Darkest part of me and smiled – all teeth.

_"You're wrong."_ I stated, staring without fear into the abyss. _"No matter what, they're still my friends."_ I could feel my Crest start to burn, and instantly began to feel better. _"I may have forgotten…but the truth never changed."_

Suddenly I was looking up at the ceiling in my living room, three very anxious Chosen Children peering down at me. I let out a gasp, frantically trying to suck in air. My chest felt like I'd had Garurumon sitting on it. Somehow, I'd won, and I was all the way back in control.

Shaken, my hand shot out and gripped a fistful of my brother's shirt. I clung, my eyes wide – and welling up with tears rapidly.

"Keru…?" I questioned in a hoarse rasp.

"Matt?" he returned, staring right through me, obviously trying to make sure it was really me. Then he smiled, and a trickle of tears slipped down his cheeks. "Hey." He greeted me softly. "Welcome back, big brother."

Too exhausted to care how very un-Yamato I was being at the moment, I gave him as hard a tug as I could muster. Startled, he collapsed forward into my arms and I curled into him, shivering almost violently. I felt him wrap around me protectively in a full-body hug, and I buried my face in his neck, my breath hitching on a sob.

Hikari slid down behind me and cuddled up against my back. It was her hand on my head, stroking my hair, that undid me.

With Sora watching over us, her mere presence casting a comforting blanket of love over all of us, I let go. I cried.

I wept for all the nasty things I'd said to them just now in a fit of guilt. I wept in regret and remorse for allowing myself to have ever forgotten what it truly meant to be Chosen. And I cried out all the fear, sorrow, pain, and angst that had been building all week over that incident between Taichi and I the morning he'd left.

I knew I was going to have to face not only Sora, Hikari, and Takeru to beg for their forgiveness but eventually I'd have to face up to Taichi, too. As much as I'd like to keep this little screw-up of mine between the four of us, I knew one of them would spill to our leader. That was inevitable.

Why? Because I knew he'd felt something a few minutes ago. He wouldn't know exactly what, but he'd know something was wrong with one of us. He might even know it was me. And when he got back from camp, he would start asking what had happened. Chances were that Takeru might be able to avoid telling him, but Sora would eventually fold (she still can't refuse him a damned thing, even when she's mad at him), and Hikari probably wouldn't even try to hide it.

That confrontation was going to occur all too soon for me. I was _not_ ready for it, and I was in no condition to deal with the _other_ issue (of Taichi and myself) either. I was going to have to escape somehow – just until I'd gotten myself back together again.

But for now, it was time to face the music with my brother, Sora, and Hikari.

The tears slowed to as top, and not long after I stopped shivering. My breathing was still pretty ragged, and my heart was pounding a beat in my head (oh _gods_, the headache!) as I slowly pulled my not-so-pretty face out of Takeru's neck and sniffled.

"It's okay, Matt." I heard Hikari say quietly, reassuringly. She was still stroking my hair. "Everything's alright again."

"You're an idiot, Ishida Yamato, but we still love you." Sora added, her own damp face watching me from on the sofa. She'd stretched out on it and lay there keeping the three of us on the floor company. I looked up at her, ashamed of myself. Some of the things It had said to her were downright cruel.

And there I go, already trying to distance myself from my own actions. I say 'It,' meaning the Darkness in me, but the truth is that It _is_ me – no matter how much I'd like to pretend it's not there. We all do, and we all have a Darkness in us that we mostly ignore. This time, however, I wouldn't sublimate it and pretend it never happened.

I pried a stiff-fingered hand (stiff from clutching at Takeru's shirt for too long) from my brother and reached up to Sora.

"I'm sorry." I whispered. "So sorry." I blinked furiously as my vision wavered and started to darken. "All of you…sorry."

Her fingers entwined with mine and she gripped my hand. I heard Sora's voice distantly, distorted. "It'll be okay, Matt. Let it go…"

As much as I wanted to put things to rest and apologize until I was blue in the face, my body decided for me. I was truly exhausted in mind and body and heart, and I slipped into unconsciousness almost gratefully.

* * *

**Kali Notes:** Yes, I do torture Yamato a little too much. Trust me when I say it's a necessary evil for this story (he had to angst while Taichi was gone, right?). In the interim… **Please R/R!!**

**Relevant Episodes: **Season 01, episode 51-52. Happy viewing!


	14. Chapter 14

**Kali Notes:** Thanks for the comments and reviews, folks! Oh, and in case you get lost in translation, "BelialVamdemon" is "MaloMyotismon." I'm trying to use mostly original names from now on. And to everyone who leaves anonymous reviews on affnet, I've disabled that option for now due to someone mass spam-reviewing me. You'll either have to log in or review elsewhere. Sorry for the inconvenience! Moving right along here… Enjoy!

**Warnings: **Yaoi, adult language, adult situations, and cavity-inducing WAFF.

**Disclaimer:** Kali & muses do not own Digimon or its characters. We're just borrowing them for the sake of this fic.

**Pairings:** Taito! With DaiKen, Takari, and mentioning of Joe/Mimi & Izzy/Miyako.

* * *

**_Chapter 14_**

"He's out cold." Takeru announced after a quick check when his older brother went dead limp between himself and Hikari.

"I don't blame him." Hikari sighed, pushing herself up to a sitting position once more. Her hand continued to rest on Matt's shoulder, as if she was wary of not touching him so soon after his battle with the Dark. "I'm pretty wiped out, too."

Sora nodded and wiped at her eyes. "Help me get him to his room, Takeru. We'll let him rest for a while, then I'll have a little chat with him."

The younger teens winced at the hard tone in Sora's voice. No doubt Matt was in for it when he woke up.

Takeru and Sora hauled Matt to his room, leaving him on the bed under a blanket to sleep off the after-effects.

Returning to the living room, Takeru raided his brother's fridge and brought the girls each a soda. Hikari accepted hers gratefully. "Thanks, Takeru. This'll go a long way to fixing me up."

He grinned and plopped down next to her, popping his own can open. "Sugar is always good for that."

"And caffeine." Added Sora.

"Well, Sora," Hikari began, watching the young woman closely as she spoke. "I have a fairly good idea what's happened to Matt, but I don't understand what led to this. I think you probably do. Care to share?"

"Actually…I don't know specifics either." Sora sighed and shrugged apologetically.

"If you're trying to protect that mule-headed brother of mine, you can stop." Takeru ran a hand through his hair. "We all know about him and Taichi."

Sora blinked. "Be specific, Takeru. What exactly do you 'know' about them?"

He exchanged a look with Hikari. "They're together." The youngest Chosen chorused. "They're in love."

"Ah. Well, you're half right, as far as I know. I'm not positive on Taichi's feelings for Matt, but I know Matt loves Taichi." Sora asserted. She explained what she knew to them, knowing that Matt would probably freak out on her when he found out she'd spilled it to his brother _and_ Hikari, but she didn't care. They deserved an explanation, especially now after this incident.

Hikari was frowning deeply at the end of Sora's explanation. "But…I haven't heard Taichi mention that kind of interest in anyone, and he doesn't act as he does around Matt with anyone else. I would _know_ something like that!" She insisted. "Taichi tells me everything! Even when I don't want to hear it!"

"I honestly thought they'd been together all this time." Takeru smiled ruefully. "For months now! But if they aren't, and Matt really hasn't said anything to Taichi, then I guess it makes sense why he's been so down and gloomy lately."

"Yes, but I don't understand how that led to him becoming so depressed that he allowed his guard to drop and the Dark to begin to turn him toward his negative aspect." Hikari's frown deepened even more in concern, and she glanced in the direction of the hall. "I know what my own is like, but I _never_ want a repeat of his Enmity."

"Before you two got here, I managed to pry out of him the info that something happened the night before Taichi left – or maybe that morning." Pink stained Takeru's cheeks. "Um…something he said was ' too personal' to tell me."

Hikari looked a bit confused for a moment, then turned very pink herself. "Oh!" She managed.

"Yeah. Didn't exactly push for details at that point."

Sora wasn't exactly blush free, either, but managed to remain calm, cool, and collected. "You may no, but I will. I'll get the whole story out of him, right after I smack him stupid for scaring the crap out of us!"

"I suppose we should let everyone know that it's all okay now. I could feel everyone and their worry earlier when we were trying to help Matt." Hikari said. "Takeru, would you get my bag? I left it at the door with my D-Terminal."

"Sure, sweetness." Happy to obey, Takeru got up and went to get it.

* * *

Oh _god_, what a headache!

I forced open my eyes and looked blearily around the room. How did I end up in my room, and why the hell was my skull threatening to implode? I shoved the blanket covering me off and weakly pushed myself upright to sit on the edge of my bed. I wracked my poor, aching brain for memories, and felt pretty damned nauseous when it all hit me.

Oh. Right. Once again, I fail at life in general.

Was I truly this pathetic? I stared down at my hands and saw how badly I was shaking – from fear, or exhaustion, or a delayed reaction of shock (or some ridiculous combination), I don't know. But I was ashamed of myself, humiliated that I'd _let_ myself succumb.

A knock at the door made me freeze then frantically start searching for a place to hide. But, it was much too late for that. The door opened and Sora came in, carrying a tray laden with a bowl of soup, tea, and some plain rice balls. She set it down on my desk and returned to the door, all without saying a word – half to my relief, and half to my trepidation. When she gets mad, truly mad, she gets quiet.

I thought she'd just come in to deliver the food and now she would leave again, but of course I'm not that lucky. Sora shut the door with a distinct, foreboding 'click' then turned sharply and let me have it with the full force of her glare, hands planting themselves ominously on her hips.

"You stupid, insensitive, moronic son of a bitch! What were you _thinking_?! No wait, you weren't thinking, which is how you ended up like this. I'm not even going to waste my energy telling you how much of an idiot you are or asking you if you realize just how badly you scared us today."

And I thought _I_ had a scary glare. Sora wins that one, no contest.

I winced and drew my knees up to my chest, hugging my legs defensively. "I can apologize all day, if you want, but it'll never be enough." I said quietly, hanging my head in defeat. "And if it'll help you to tell me exactly how much of a bastard I am then go ahead. I won't stop you, and I won't deny any of it."

I hadn't intended it, but my words took all the wind right out of her sails. She let out a deep, frustrated noise on a huff and joined me on the edge of my bed, draping an arm around my shoulders.

"No." Sora shook her head after a moment. "I think you'll beat yourself up enough over this. How are you doing otherwise, Matt?" She asked worriedly, rubbing my shoulder and upper back with the heel of her hand. "Any lingering shadows I should know about?"

Tired of everything, I leaned against her. "No. Not the sort you're thinking of, anyway." I reached up and caught her hand, holding it to my shoulder. "I am sorry, Sora. For all those things I was saying to you. None of it was true."

"I know, Yamato. Hikari and Takeru know, too. We forgave you the instant you said what you did, you know." Sora squeezed my shoulder. I closed my eyes against the pain and shame. "Hey. Look at me…"

I turned my head reluctantly to meet her gaze, and found only love and forgiveness there. "It's alright, Matt. We know something triggered all of this, and we want to help you. Because we're still your friends and we love you."

Somehow, despite the fact that I would probably never forgive myself, I managed to give her a small, fragile smile. "I know. I may have had a momentary lapse of memory, but…" I had to stop and swallow back my emotions. "I love you all, too."

Sora smiled brilliantly and gave me a light kiss on the cheek, then pressed one that lingered a bit longer to my temple. "I brought you something to eat. I figured you'd be hungry, and maybe a hot bath would go a long way to making you feel better."

"Probably." I kind of had to agree on that score. Messing with the Dark always left me feeling dirty. Tainted. "What time is it, anyway?" I looked over to my alarm clock, sitting on the top shelf of the hutch over my desk – where I also spotted my laptop, D-Terminal, and Digivice. An idea began to form.

"You didn't sleep all that long, really." Sora informed me. "It's still early evening, and Takeru and Hikari are still here." She patted my knee fondly. "Most of the others have stopped by to check on you for themselves, though."

I paled. Of course they would. I remembered they'd been with me for a brief moment, and of course they'd wonder what was going on with me. My expression must have tipped Sora off because she rushed to reassure me.

"We didn't tell them much, Matt. I promise." She knelt on the floor in front of me and clasped my hands in her own. "All we said was you'd been depressed about something, and it was enough to cause a minor skirmish with the Dark but you were fine now. Just tired. Joe even looked you over and confirmed it."

I blew out a breath of relief so strong it made me dizzy. "Whoa." I put my head between my knees and fought off the spinning world and nausea.

"Easy, Matt." Sora brushed the hair out of my face. "You need to eat. As soon as you get your bearings back."

The dizzy spell passed and I meekly obeyed Sora's mothering advice to eat. She watched me in silence, like a hawk, making sure I ate every bit of what she'd brought I suppose. I wasn't sure I could handle that last rice ball, though.

"I'm done." I stated, groaning at the full state of my stomach.

"Okay." Sora seemed happy with what I did consume and didn't push me to finish off that rice ball. However, I wasn't off the hook quite yet. There was a glint in her eyes that told me I was about to be made to bare my soul.

"Alright." I heaved a resigned sigh. "What is it?"

"What happened, Matt?" She asked, her voice soft with concern. She didn't have to clarify, either, because I knew what she wanted to know.

So…I told her. All of it. Minus the down-and-dirty details, of course. I tried to prevaricate at first, but she wore me down. I said "intimate" to describe the encounter, and she raised an eyebrow and countered, "Sex?" I said, "Not exactly," and she guessed "No intercourse, then, but orgasm."

At this I could only nod and sit there red-faced. She was a bit pink around the edges, too, but it didn't seem to phase her as much as one would expect.

"Kissing?" She also asked. I felt the blood drain right out of my head at that one.

"No. Thank god." I shivered, suddenly chilled and hugged myself. It wasn't that I didn't want to kiss Taichi (boy, did I!) it's just that if I _had_ kissed him then, I'd have _that_ memory, too. You see, a hand job is just a hand job, and sex is just sex if there's no kissing involved. Kissing turns sex into 'making love.' In other words, it adds something personal to the act.

For me, anyway. It might be different to other people, but to me kissing meant much more. It was hard enough as it was to deal with what had happened, but if there'd been kissing? I was fairly certain I wouldn't have just been depressed – I'd have been suicidal, believing it was all unintentional and meant nothing as I already did.

Sora gave me an odd look, and I just shrugged. If she didn't get it then I wasn't going to explain it to her.

"Okay. So why did this send you into a tailspin of such deep emotional trauma that you forgot who you are?"

I flinched, even though I deserved that. And I had to try to explain it, even if I wasn't sure I could.

"I was asleep enough that I didn't realize I wasn't only dreaming, and when I did realize it, it was too late to stop anything. Um, after… I figured the best way to avoid any negative reactions was to pretend I was still asleep and if he did bring it up then we could pass it off as an unexpected, but no less normal, guy thing and move on." I gave a bitter laugh and refused to look at Sora. "You don't have to tell me that was a stupid idea, because I know it. He totally called me on it, too. Later, at breakfast, just before he had to leave."

"And?" She was frowning, a slightly confused expression on her face, when I risked a quick glance at her.

"He said he didn't mean it." I snapped, gripping the edges of my desk chair so hard my knuckles went white. "I'd have been fine if he'd left me with the illusion that it could have meant something, but he didn't."

Stricken, Sora reached for my hands. "Oh, Matt…"

"Don't." I jerked away. "I don't want your pity." I didn't want her comfort _or_ to be pitied. "I'll get over it, Sora. Earlier…this last week was because he just said it then left, and there was no chance for us to talk. I was in shock." I stood up and went over to the balcony doors of my room, opening the glass doors to let fresh air in. Everything was weighting on me so heavily that the very air was stifling me, crushing me. "Even if we talked now, it wouldn't matter because the result is the same. I just need some time now that I've been knocked out of my shocked state."

I heard her behind me, picking up the tray. "I don't want or mean to pity you, Matt. I just want to help. It hurts me – all of us – to see you hurting and not letting us close enough to help you somehow." Her footsteps fell softly on the floorboards toward the door. She paused, then said, "You and Taichi are our foundation, Yamato. Without either of you we fall to pieces. But you forget that without _us_, you fall apart and flounder like Whamon out of water. No matter what, Matt, we're here for you to lean on, to listen, to assist, or to kick your thick-headed ass if you need us to."

With that parting shot, she left me alone.

I leaned heavily against the balcony doorframe, every part of me aching. I could barely stand myself right now. I needed to get out of here, escape, for a while until I got a grip on myself.

First thing first, though. My sketchy idea was formulating into something more solid as I packed up my backpack with a couple extra changes of clothes, some snacks I had stashed in my desk drawer, and my harmonica. Then I grabbed a clean set of clothes and went across the hall to take a shower.

Once I was clean and refreshed (somewhat) I slipped down the hall to Taichi's room to check and see if he'd taken his D-Terminal with him. Digivice, yes, but his D-Terminal sat on his desk next to his laptop. Good. I picked it up and stuck it under his pillow. He'd find it when I was ready for him to find it. It was conceivable that he would follow me to the Digital World and track me down with his Digivice, but at least it would be much more difficult to do without his D-Terminal. I didn't think he would – since he wouldn't know where I'd gone anyway. The only person I was going to tell was Takeru, and he wouldn't say anything if I asked him not to. Hiding Taichi's D-Terminal was a back-up plan meant to stall him.

I went back to my room and added my own D-Terminal to my bag. I opened my laptop and got it up and running, ready for my quick exit.

But before I left, I had one last thing I needed to do…

I went out to the living room and found my little brother and Hikari there, curled together on the sofa watching a movie on TV. I shoved my hands deep into my jean pockets and hung my head as I padded into the room.

Hikari glanced up at my movement and exclaimed, "Matt! Oh, you look so much better now. How do you feel?"

I shrugged and kept my eyes on the floor. "I'm okay now, Hikari. Thanks to you two. I…just wanted to say thank you and to say how sorry I am for all those nasty things I was saying to you. Both of you."

She came up to me and hugged me hard, arms banding around my ribs tightly. "Don't be silly, Matt. Just promise me you'll be careful from now on, and you're forgiven."

"I swear." I rasped thickly. "You know I love you, right? Like my very own little sister."

Her smile was as bright as the Light she embodied. "Good, because I love you, too. I like having two big brothers." She teased. I smiled faintly, and looked to Takeru, holding out an arm in invitation. He smiled too, and joined us. I had on of them under each arm, snuggled into my sides happily.

After a moment, we split up and I inquired about Sora's whereabouts.

"Oh, she ran down to the store for some groceries." Takeru informed me. "Snacks."

"Ah." Good to know. No doubt she felt the need to get away from me for awhile.

Hikari sat back down on the sofa. "I hope you don't mind, Matt, but we raided your fridge."

"Nope. Help yourselves." I waved that off. At least someone would enjoy all that food. "I want some coffee. Anybody else want some?" I offered, looking directly at my brother when I asked.

Hikari refused, as did Takeru (they're not java junkies like I am), and I made a surreptitious gesture for him to join me in the kitchen for a moment.

"I'll get us sodas, Hikari." Takeru suggested, nodding at me and following me to the kitchen. "What's up, big brother?" He asked lowly once there. I went about making my coffee, getting out a thermos for it as I spoke.

"I'm going to go spend a couple days in the Digital World." I said, measuring coffee grounds and dumping them in the filter. "I need some time alone to get my head on straight."

Takeru looked surprised, and leaned against the counter, watching me. "Are you sure that's a good idea? I mean, after what happened today?"

Filling the coffee maker with water, I turned the machine on before I turned and looked the Child of Hope in the eye. "I'm fine, Keru. I wouldn't go if I thought there was any risk. And Gabumon will be with me." Well, he would be once I found him, anyway.

Takeru sighed. "Well, it's not like I can stop you. Just be careful and keep in touch, alright?"

I nodded. "I'm telling you, Takeru, but I don't want any of the others to know. If they did, they would follow me and try to 'help.' I know their intentions would be in the right place, but there's nothing they can do." I gave him an earnest stare. "And especially not Taichi. I don't care what he says to you, don't tell him. I need time away from him to be able to face him again, and if you tell him where I am he will come after me." I took hold of Takeru's upper arms and stared into his eyes. "Promise me, Takeru."

He swallowed and nodded, though he really didn't look like he liked the idea of lying by omission to Taichi. "Okay, but I agree under protest." He confirmed. I released him and turned back to my coffee.

"Thank you, Takeru. If he gives you grief over it, tell him he can take it up with me when I come back." What was one more bone to pick, after all. I poured my coffee into my thermos.

"When are you going?" Takeru asked, quietly.

"Right now." I answered. "I'll go through my laptop in my room. You can tell Hikari and Sora I went to work on some songs." I screwed the cap on the thermos and dumped the filter and grounds into the garbage, then rinsed out the pot. Takeru grabbed soda from the fridge and followed me out of the kitchen.

He paused in the living room, watching me head down the hall. "Matt…" he began, hesitating. I shook my head and waved, then went into my room, closing the door behind me.

"Sorry, Keru." I said to the empty room, going over to grab my Digivice and backpack. He would worry, but he'd get over it eventually.

Opening the file (and entering my password to do so) that was the Digital Gate program developed by Izzy, Miyako, and Ken, I stared at my laptop screen while I waited, then held out my Digivice. Times like this I was grateful we had the computer geniuses we did.

After the final battle with BelialVamdemon, the Gate sealed by BlackWarGreymon opened again. Izzy, Miyako, and Ken worked together with Gennai to figure out how it was that the D3s could open Gates anywhere, while our original Digivices could not, and then proceed to program that ability into them once they'd figured it out. Izzy also made sure that our personal computers and laptops had a Gate program on them, like the one the younger kids had been using at the school early on. It sped up the process of opening a Gate – otherwise we'd have to wait for one at random or try to find one through the internet. And unless you were one of those three geniuses, then we didn't have the computer skill or patience to open a Gate that way.

What felt like mere seconds later, I was spit out of an old-fashioned TV screen somewhere on File Island. Glancing back, I saw the Gate shut down and sighed in relief. I got up and looked around, dusting myself off.

It didn't surprise me one bit that I felt very much like I was home. A serenity and sense of tranquility washed over me and for the first time in ages, I smiled.

The only thing I was missing was a certain wolf-like little Digimon partner of mine.

Time to go find him.

To start, I emailed Gennai, asking if he'd seen or spoken to Gabumon lately. Then I started walking, putting distance between myself and my entrance point – in case any of my friends, smart as they are, figured out where I went and roped one of our geniuses into finding me that way.

As I walked, I tried to make not of the progress of the rebuilding and repairing of this strange, beautiful world. It had come such a long way since BelialVamdemon used his evil to spread destruction over _both_ worlds. Yet even here, on File Island where it all began, there were still signs of the damage, and evidence of the chaos.

The forests (or jungle – sometimes it was hard to distinguish) were coming back, though they weren't as dense as they once were. Rivers, streams, lakes, and the seas were all nearly as pristine as before. I knew things were progressing somewhat slower on Server Continent (as Izzy's reports last stated) but that place was much larger and much harder hit, so it wasn't a surprise that things hadn't quite returned to normal yet.

I paused when my D-Terminal beeped at me. Gennai replied in the negative, saying he hadn't been in contact with Gabumon recently, but that someone who may have was near and would find me soon.

Sure enough, I had just put my D-Terminal away when I heard the familiar buzzing of insect-like wings. Cautiously (as there _are_ many types of insect Digimon) I looked up.

Smiling a little, I waved when I saw Tentomon, Izzy's partner.

"Yamato-han!" The bug-like little creature greeted me with great surprise but no less welcome. "No one was expecting you! Welcome back!"

"Hey." I leaned against a huge tree trunk. "How's it going, Tentomon? Keeping busy?"

"Oh very. Between Koushiro-han and helping to fix things I'm always doing something." He waved a sharp-looking pincher claw at me, reminding me vaguely of my mother wagging a finger at me as a kid in admonishment. "That's why I'm here, in fact. Koushiro0han told me to investigate when a Gate opened near here so unexpectedly."

"Eh, sorry. It was a spur of the moment decision. I'll try not to do it again." I sort of apologized, mostly for taking him away from whatever he was doing.

"Why are you here, Yamato-han?" The little Digimon asked curiously, hovering at eye level in front of me. "Not that I'm saying you aren't welcome, of course! I mean…"

"It's okay, Tentomon. I get it." I chuckled a bit. He really does sound like Izzy. Sobering, I sighed and shrugged. "I needed to get away for a while, needed some space and time to think. This is the best place I know of when one wants to get away from it all."

"Ah. I see. Has this something to do with your troubles earlier today?"

I frowned, shifting uncomfortably. "What? Does _everyone_ know I'm a complete moron already?" I grumbled. But it was a good excuse to use to pacify the others, through Tentomon – who would, no doubt, report back to Izzy about me. "Actually, yes. It does."

"We were all very concerned for a while there." Tentomon informed me. "Gabumon grew very ill. He said something was wrong with you, but he couldn't do anything to help as long as you were in your world and he was here."

I winced, guilt clenching my chest painfully. Worried, I moved away from the tree. "Is he alright now? I should find him."

"Oh yes. He's just fine. He said he felt Light, and Hope, and Love near you, and trusted that the others would help you. Obviously they did." Tentomon buzzed along beside me as I began walking again.

"Where is he now?" I asked. "Can you take me to him, Tentomon?"

"Of course, Yamato-han. Follow me."

"Thanks." I whispered, hurrying after him.

We found Gabumon near the base of the mountain – the same one we'd climbed (twice) in order to take on Devimon, our first major bad guy. He was with another old friend, Leomon.

"Matt!" My partner cried in relief and excitement. I dropped to my knees in time to catch him when he ran full throttle at me, and I hugged him tightly.

"Gabumon! Oh god, I am so sorry…" I immediately started apologizing. He was, after all, one of the people in my life (of the Digimon variety of people) that was most affected by whatever might happen to me.

His paws patted me wherever they could reach and I felt so much better it was ridiculous. True to his word, given so long ago, he forgave me readily and we were still the best of friends.

"It's okay, Matt. I'm just happy to see you and that you're alright." He pulled back and looked closely at me. "You are alright, aren't you?" He asked suspiciously. I smiled, tears burning my eyes but not falling.

"Yeah. I'm okay. Tentomon said you were sick? Are you okay?" I looked him over – not that I knew what to look _for_ that would tell me if something wasn't totally kosher with him.

"I am now. You will tell me what happened, right?"

"Yes. Later." I promised, looking up at the imposing figure of Leomon. "Hi, Leomon. It's good to see you again. I hope everything's been well for you."

"Hello, young one." The lion-man Digimon returned the greeting with a bow. "It is a pleasure to see one of the Chosen again. Things are quite well with me, thank you for asking."

"Have I interrupted anything?" I asked, looking back and forth between them. "I did drop in unannounced, after all."

"Leomon has organized a group of Digimon willing to rebuild the ruined temple on top of the mountain." Gabumon informed me. "It used to be a splendid place before Devimon invaded. It's one of the last places to be rebuilt here on the island, and when I heard about it, I wanted to come here to help."

I nodded solemnly. "That's great!" I had a small flash of an idea, and had to share it. I knew Takeru was still harbouring fears and anxiety about that fateful battle with Devimon where he'd lost Patamon right after the very first time the little guy had evolved. Maybe this would be something to help him put those fears behind him.

"If I could make a suggestion…" I began. Leomon nodded curiously at me. "Is there any way that some sort of monument could be added in honour of Angemon and his sacrifice? For Takeru and Patamon? That battle…it still haunts them."

It was strange to see the gentle expression on the proud, fierce, and normally serious face of the lion-man, but he nodded in approval of the idea. "Certainly, young one. An admirable suggestion." He gave Gabumon and I a short bow. "I must take my leave now. Please excuse me, and welcome back, Yamato-san."

We waved as the warrior Digimon left us. Tentomon, whom I'd nearly forgotten, hovered next to me, the breeze from his buzzing wings lightly ruffling his my hair.

"That was a really good idea, Yamato-han." He commended me. "Well, I should get back to Koushiro-han before he sends search parties after _me_."

I laughed lightly. "Okay, Tentomon. Thanks for helping me find Gabumon, too."

"No problem!" The little insect Digimon flew off.

I sighed and pulled out my D-Terminal, sitting on the ground for a moment while I whipped off a short message to Izzy.

"What are you doing, Matt?" Gabumon asked curiously. He peered down at the small computer in my hands.

"Telling Izzy it was me who opened the Gate to get here and asking him not to tell any of the others that I'm here, other than Takeru – should it come up – and especially not Taichi." I answered, texting away at a relatively slow pace compared to, say, my brother. I just don't do it enough to have developed speed and accuracy.

Gabumon, of course, picked up on the important part of my answer. "Why not Taichi?" I heard him sigh. "What are you fighting about this time, Matt? It must be something huge, and it must be what was wrong this afternoon."

I sent the message and stood, keeping my D-Terminal out for now because I was sure Izzy would get back to me. "Come on, pal." I said, feeling my sadness return. "Let's walk, and I'll tell you all about it."

So we did, and I did. When I reached the part about that fantastic, heart-breaking morning, I left out the intimate details. Not because I didn't feel comfortable sharing with my partner, but because – quite simply – he wouldn't understand. Digimon do not reproduce as any other creature does. Actually, I don't know where Digitama really come from (I don't think Izzy does either). My point is that Digimon have no context with which to understand the sexual component of human relationships – for procreation or fun. They have an innate purity of innocence, rather like the children we once were long before we came here. So I had no way of explaining to him something that he'd never heard of, let alone experienced.

By this time, also, we'd reached the edges of the forest and found an all-too-familiar, poignant-in-memory beach on the shores of a large lake. Here, we'd spent our first night in this strange new world. Here, Gabumon evolved to Garurumon for the first time. Here…I felt the first true feelings of friendship for the varied group of kids I was stuck with, and for the goggle-headed, soccer-obsessed, stubborn, reckless boy who became my best friend. And my one true love.

"I still don't understand, Matt. What happened between you that was so bad that it triggered the Darkness?" Gabumon inquired, watching and listening with big, worried eyes. Compassion and warmth flowed from him into me from that mystical bond we held as Chosen Child and Digimon Partner.

I looked up and down the beach, and decided here was as good a place as any. Sitting on the sand, I took off my backpack and let it drop beside me, then drew my knees up to my chest. It was already growing dark as night approached, but I didn't care, and I had nothing to fear.

"I don't know if I can explain it, old friend." I said honestly. Sadly. "I'm not a kid anymore. My problems aren't as simple as they used to be. My life is so much more complicated, and gets more complex every day."

Warm fur, soft and almost silken, brushed my arm as Gabumon sat at my side and cuddled up against me. It made me smile, however briefly.

"I know, Matt. We all do. We knew none of you would stay children forever. We knew your thoughts and feelings would grow and change as you did in body and mind. We knew, and we prepared for it." He stared up at me with such wisdom that I began to reassess my assumption of their 'innocence.'

"Prepared…how?" I had to ask.

"Well, we grow up, too, you know. We Digimon can fall in love and choose a mate for our lifespan. And then Gennai always answered any questions we had. He felt we needed to know things so that we could still be as good of partners to you as we've been until now, so he taught us many, many things."

Okay. That was simply terrifying. "Uh…do I even dare ask for an example?"

Gabumon chuckled. "Matt, you love Taichi. I don't need to be partnered to the Bearer of Love to know that, even if you hadn't said so just now. You've always loved him, not only as a friend but as an equal, counter-balance to your spirit. It's why you clash so fiercely when you disagree, and it's why you are so very powerful when you agree and fight together."

I thought about that for a moment, then nodded. I had to concede to his point, because it was certainly true. Still…

"I love him, yes. With all that I am. But, Gabumon…he doesn't feel the same for me. Not to the extent I do for him." I looked away, staring out at the sparkling shimmers of the stars and moonlight reflected by the lake. "We talked once, several months ago, and he told me there was someone he liked a lot, but he wasn't ready to tell them yet. Later he admitted he was in love with the person, and he was waiting to see if that person would be receptive to him. But it wasn't me."

"How do you know?" Gabumon asked, disbelief plain in his voice and expression. "He didn't give you a name, did he?"

"No. He wasn't ready to tell me that, I guess." I rested my chin on my knee. "I know because he knew I didn't have a problem with his interest being for another guy. If it had been me he wanted, then he'd know I was receptive."

Gabumon still looked a bit puzzled by it all, but he left it alone for the moment. "Okay, so what happened that made you fall apart?"

I couldn't help but blush heavily – earning a muffled snicker from my partner – and mumble, "It doesn't matter anymore, Gabumon. It'll never happen again – any of it – so there's no point in reliving it."

Even if I would, in the safety of my mind, for the rest of my life…

He sighed unhappily, still confused but willing to let it slide. I shifted uncomfortably, hating this need to keep that little glimpse of ecstasy all to myself so selfishly. I relented only a little, relating what occurred at breakfast – which was actually the more important part, anyway.

"What happened between Taichi and I will remain between us, Gabumon. And if he'd let me live with the illusion that it had all been a dream, then we could have moved on, and none of that…embarrassing failure as a Bearer would have happened." A frown marred my expression. "But you know Taichi! He just can't leave well enough alone. He pushed, and I tried to make him believe everything was fine…but he started apologizing. And then…then he…" my voice faltered and I swallowed the lump building in my throat convulsively, "…Taichi said it was unintentional. That he'd never meant for it to happen. That…was probably more heartbreaking than what had actually occurred."

Gabumon patted my arm with a gentle, consoling paw. "It was something you really wanted, but because he didn't mean it, you were really hurt." He surmised. I nodded, not really able to speak any longer. "I see. I'm sorry, Matt."

"It's okay, Gabumon. There wouldn't have been anything you could have done to help, anyway."

"Was there no one you could have talked to? Takeru? Sora? Even Joe or Izzy or Mimi?" He wondered. I noticed he didn't suggest Hikari.

"No. I thought…to use the week Taichi was away at camp to get a grip on myself and put it behind me. I was too embarrassed and it was too personal to discuss with any one of the others." Regretful, realizing I probably should have swallowed my ego and just talked to Sora before it got so bad, I let myself fall back to the sand onto my back and stared up at the now dark night sky. "It was a mistake. But..things are better now. I just need a little more time, is all."

Gabumon lay back with me, smiling a little sadly with worry for me. "Well, I'm glad you came regardless, Matt. I've really missed you."

"Me, too, pal. Me, too."

* * *

**Kali Notes:** I promise that things are going to start looking up for our Yamato. So stay tuned… **Please R/R!!**

**Relevant Episodes: **Season 01, episodes 03, 08, and 13. Happy viewing!


	15. Chapter 15

**Kali Notes:** Thank you everyone for your continued support! I'm glad to see people are still enjoying my efforts! I really need the encouragement these days… Anyway, happy reading!

**Warnings:**Yaoi, adult language, adult situations, and cavity-inducing WAFF.

**Disclaimer:** Kali & muses do not own Digimon or its characters. We're just borrowing them for the sake of this fic.

**Pairings:** Taito! With DaiKen, Takari, and mentioning of Joe/Mimi & Izzy/Miyako.

* * *

**_Chapter 15_**

The nice thing about the Digital World is the relatively balmy, temperate climate in most areas. Needing warm clothes, jackets or coats, or blankets to survive outside with no real shelter is relatively unheard of.

Which is why falling asleep on the beach that night with nothing but my jeans and shirt on and a funny, wolf-like Digimon cuddled up to me was a perfectly safe thing to do.

The next morning, I sat up and stretched, rubbed the sleepiness out of my eyes and looked around with a yawn. I also devoutly wished for coffee, but settled for water and the bag of rice crisps I'd brought along.

Gabumon wasn't around when I'd woken, but it wasn't long after that he reappeared from the forest.

"Good morning, Matt!" He greeted me cheerfully. "I wondered if you'd sleep all morning."

Now that he mentioned it, I did feel rather well-rested, compared to any day in the last month or so.

"Thanks for letting me." I replied, running my fingers through my no doubt disastrous hair. "What time is it, anyway?" I glanced at my watch. Wow. After ten-thirty… That's pretty impressive, even for me. Sighing, I looked at my partner curiously. "What did you have planned to do today?"

"nothing really. Besides, now that you're here, I'd rather spend the day with you, then anything, Matt." Gabumon answered with a toothy smile.

We spent the day roaming around the island, my partner giving me an enthusiastic tour of the work the Digimon had put into rebuilding. By evening, we'd seen most of the place, and we returned to the lake. Once again, I spent the night under a canopy of stars and an uninhabited, lonely beach. The solitude was welcome, and I could feel something in me ease, gradually loosening the tension that's had a grip on me for over a week. Or maybe longer.

I fell asleep to Gabumon's gentle snores, even though there was an ever-present knowledge, in the back of my mind, that Taichi would be home now, would likely have demanded some answers about what went on in his absence, and was probably seething at my carelessness. And under all that, he was probably worried about me and silently freaking out. I decided that, sometime tomorrow when I worked up the courage, I'd send him an email, as he would probably have discovered his D-Terminal by now. I still wasn't ready to go back, but at least he'd have some peace of mind knowing where I was.

* * *

It was midday. The sun was high in the sky, shining bright and hot. A puff of cloud would occasionally float languidly across the blue, blue sky.

Because it was actually quite hot that day, I spent the morning cooling off by swimming in the lake. Even Gabumon enjoyed a nice dip in the cool water.

When I'd dried out (sitting on the sandy beach until I wasn't dripping anymore) I got dressed again and decided shade was a good plan. I didn't relish a sunburn, what with my blonde hair and fair skin.

So I found a large old tree that stretched itself upward to the heavens so high I couldn't quite see the top of it from the ground. Gabumon and I helped each other to climb it, until we were perched on one of the thickest, strongest branches, with plenty of foliage to shade us from above and hide us from anything below.

Stretching my legs out on the branch, my back to the tree trunk, I leaned my head back and gave a sigh. I'd found a measure of contentment I hadn't felt in a very long time.

Gabumon stretched himself out on a branch a little above and to my right, and asked, "Are you alright, Matt?"

I glanced up and smiled. "Yeah, pal. At the moment, I'm great." My smile faltered a bit and I sighed sadly, staring at nothing. "Gabumon?"

"Yes, Matt?"

"Can I stay here?" I asked wistfully. I really was happy, more than I'd expected, and I hated the prospect of having to return to my own world, where there was nothing to give me even a bit of the contentment I'd found here.

"Oh, Matt…" the little 'Mon sighed just as sadly. "I wish I could say 'yes' as honestly as I want to, but…we both know you can't. Not forever."

I closed my eyes, thinking a nap was in order. "I know. But…if I could have, if I had that option…I think I would stay. There's nothing waiting for me in my world. Not really."

"I don't think that's so." I heard him reply quietly. "I think you just haven't found it yet. But it's there."

I yawned. "Maybe." Conceding, I fell silent as the warm day and my tired body and mind pulled me under into sleep. I'd completely forgotten my plan to email Taichi, too.

I have no idea how long I dozed for, but I woke almost instantly when I heard a very familiar beeping emanating from my Digivice. Frowning, I pulled it off my backpack and looked at the small screen to see what it's issue was.

"What's the matter?" Gabumon asked, sleepily. He rubbed his eyes and joined me on my branch.

"My Digivice started beeping." I waited, watching the screen, with a resigned sense of the inevitable. Sure enough, a second blip came up on my radar not far from the dot that indicated my own position. I groaned and let my head thunk back against the tree trunk. "Oh, damn it."

"Matt?" Gabumon laid a paw on my leg, comfortingly. "One of the others?"

"Resisting the urge to bang my head on the tree, I made an annoyed noise and fought off the beginnings of panic. _It could be any of the others_. I told myself over and over. But somehow, I knew I was lying to myself. Only one person would even consider intruding on my solitude so blithely and his name is Yagami Taichi. Drawing my knees up to my chest I buried my face in my arms and tried not to whimper pathetically as I stated dully, "Taichi," in answer to Gabumon's inquiry.

Gabumon made a distressed noise, obviously not sure what to do with this situation. I raised my head and laid a finger to my lips, silently asking him not to make a sound, as – sure enough – Taichi's angry, annoyed, and very worried voice reached us up in the tree from somewhere below.

"Ishida Yamato! I know you can hear me, damn it! Get your sneaky, cowardly ass out here so I can yell at you properly!"

I scowled down at him, unseen by my tree's foliage, and barely restrained the scathing reply I had for his name-calling. Even if it _was_ true.

Some frustrated mutters and cussing followed a moment of silence where I suppose he was listening to try and hear me somehow. "Goddamn it, Yamato! I _know_ you're here! Digivice radar aside, I can _feel_ you!"

"Matt…" Gabumon tugged on my sleeve, whispering to me. "I know you don't want to, but he's not going to go away, and neither are your problems. Talking to him can only help."

"Et tu, Gabumon?" I hissed back, wounded. But it was more because he was right and I was still in avoidance mode. I looked down and could see Taichi's brunette head pacing back and forth at the base of my tree, arms waving expressively as he cursed my name and existence fluently. I glanced back to my partner and whined, "Do I have to?"

"Yamato…" he growled back sternly. I winced and slung my backpack onto my shoulders again, preparing to climb down.

"Fine." I knew I was pouting and at this point I just didn't care anymore. "I'm going. But you probably don't want to hang around for this, pal. It's liable to get nasty."

"I'll leave if you want me to, Matt." He said. I leaned over and hugged him.

"I don't, but you should anyway. This is my problem and there's really nothing more you can do." I said, burying my face in his fur for a moment. "Thanks for everything, Gabumon."

"Anytime, Matt." He hugged me back and gave me a smile. "It'll work out somehow. I know it will."

He'll never know how badly I wanted to believe that.

Shoring myself up, I began the climb down. "Let's go."

Taichi must have heard the rustling of the leaves and branches because he stopped, looked up, and glowered as he waited for me to descend.

We hit the ground and I straightened, making a big show of dusting myself off. Gabumon glanced back and forth between Taichi (still glowering) and I (still avoiding) and heaved a sigh.

"Hello, Taichi." He greeted the Child of Courage, then said, "Don't be too hard on him. It's been a rough week." before he wandered off into the forest. I flushed with shame and embarrassment, and finally worked up enough courage of my own to at least glance at my furious best friend.

"You know, we were having a perfectly peaceful mid-day nap before you so rudely interrupted." I had to open my stupid mouth and speak so cavalierly.

"A nap?! You're some piece of work, Yamato!" Taichi snapped angrily. "What the _hell_ were you thinking? How could you get so depressed that you let your guard down and forget who you are? And then to just run off like that, without telling anyone? Are you really that selfish?"

Indignant, I raised my eyes to meet his and glared. "Leave me alone, Taichi. I told Takeru, and Izzy. I asked them not to tell the others or you because I needed some time to myself to think and put myself back together. So _excuse_ me if that offends you somehow!"

"Yeah right. It's a convenient excuse, but it won't work on _me_. You're running away, Matt." His temper seemed to deflate a little under his uncertainty, worry, and…hurt. "Again. But I won't let you! Not this time."

I growled a few curses of my own under my breath and turned away. I had to walk off some of this manic energy or I'd turn it on him – and God knows he doesn't deserve it. "Yeah, well, tough shit, Yagami. There's nothing you can say or do that I haven't already heard from the others, let alone myself. If I want to beat myself up for my utter fail as a Chosen Child, that's _my_ choice. I think I can handle it well enough on my own without any help from _you_." I started walking heading for the lake.

Taichi came up beside me, shoulders hunched, and hands shoved deeply into his pockets. He matched my pace and followed along. "You're not a failure, Matt. I never said that, and I never would because it's not true. I just want to understand what happened, and I've been frantic for the last three days worrying about you." We'd reached the tree line and he stopped, grabbing my arm and spinning me to face him. "Can you understand what I felt? Damn it, Matt, I promised we'd talk when I got back, and all week I could _feel_ something was way off with you. And then, in Thursday, we were in the middle of a scrimmage game during our free time when I dropped like a rock in mid-run! If Daisuke hadn't been there to tell Ken what the problem seemed to be, they might have had a really hard time explaining to the coaches and counselors why I shouldn't be rushed to the nearest hospital."

I could feel the blood draining out of my head slowly. Oh my god…I'd known all of us felt something wrong, and maybe they'd even known it was me, but to get that much reaction out of Taichi – from so far away – was not a concept I'd considered. Taichi seemed to know I was getting the picture here because he nodded once, sharply.

"Yeah. We felt it. Daisuke suddenly got dizzy and nauseous, and even Ken didn't feel so hot for a while, but I passed right out. They got me back to our cabin and I slept the rest of the day. When I came to, they told me what seemed to have happened, that they'd messaged Hikari and Takeru to inquire but neither was able to tell them anything except that you were depressed about something and your Dark side tried to break out. I went nuts!" He shook me hard, trying to emphasize (unnecessarily) his fear and concern. "And then I get home, and you're nowhere to be found, no note, nothing!" His glare turned hard and angry, and I flinched away, though I couldn't really move thanks to his grip on my arms. "Did you _really_ think you'd get away with hiding my D-Terminal and that I wouldn't find you?"

I broke free, defensively angry (though not at Taichi). I didn't like how deliberate he was making the whole thing sound on my part, but as far as he knew there wasn't much else to say otherwise. And I _had_ hidden his D-Terminal. Hugging myself, I couldn't meet his eyes again as I began the painful process of explaining myself.

"When I left, I knew you'd come after me the moment you got home, and I wasn't ready to deal with you yet, so I hid your D-Terminal to slow you down. I told you, Taichi, that I came here to put myself back together, and for that I needed some peace and solitude. I couldn't get that in our world."

Taichi studied me closely, and seemed to find he had to agree. None of us can find the kind of peace we have here anywhere on our world. He nodded after a moment.

"Fine. Forget the D-Terminal and your sneaky ways. What was that depression for Yamato? If it was about what happened before I left…" Taichi trailed off, having seen the answer on my face, an answer that continued to hurt badly enough that I couldn't hide it. "Why, Matt?" He asked, looking and sounding so confused and concerned it made my heart hurt. It also hadn't escaped my notice that I was still 'Matt' or 'Yamato.' Not one 'Yama' from him yet, which I guess was because he was still angry – or he was trying to distance himself from me, somehow. I sighed. Probably it was both.

"I don't want to talk about it." I tried, but at his glare I winced and followed up with, "However, you'll never leave me alone until we do talk about it. Not that there's anything to discuss…"

He blinked at me incredulously. "Nothing to discuss?! I jerked my best friend off in our sleep, and there's nothing to talk about?!"

I blushed furiously and had to turn away completely. Gee, the beach looked inviting again today… I bent down after kicking off my shoes and pulled off my socks, then picked up my footwear and trudged barefoot through the sand closer to the water. "What's to say, Taichi? We're hormonal teenaged males, and we responded to the presence of another person in bed." I dropped my bag and footwear on the sand and faced the angry Child of Courage.

Taichi followed me, stumbling here and there as he took off his own socks and shoes. "If that's all it was," he growled in obvious frustration, "if it was as simple as that, then why are you depressed about it? And why, Yamato, does it make you unable to look at me, or talk about it, or laugh it off as that simple?"

"Because!" I was beginning to lose what little calm I had, and my voice was rising. I couldn't tell him the whole truth, yet there was no other plausible excuse to offer. Not this time. And he was beginning to wear me down to the point where I _would_ tell him the truth because I was just so damned tired of holding all of it in, of hiding and lying to him.

"'Because' is not an answer, Ishida!" He shouted, his temper fraying again. He stepped up to me, getting in my face this time as he demanded answers. "I didn't buy that hormone excuse last week, and I still don't! _Talk_ to me, damn it! I said I was sorry, and that I didn't mean to…"

"I know! I know that!" I shouted back.

"Then what?" He grabbed for me, probably intending to shake the answer out of me, and I just snapped, still trying to hide from him. I struggled when his hands closed on my arms, and before I knew it we were fighting in a way we hadn't for a very long time. Punches were thrown, a lot of swearing and growling and angry-type noises blistered the air, and the next thing I knew I was flat on my back, a conflicted, angry Bearer of Courage straddling me, pinning me down and glaring heatedly down at me with a fist pulled back, ready to strike.

Déjà vu…

I went dead limp, exhausted in every way. Broken, I simply stared up at him in surrender, and gasped out the answer I never wanted to tell him but no longer had the will or energy to hide. I was going to lose him if I tried keeping it from him any longer anyway. At least when he left me after this, we'd both know why.

"Because…you didn't…mean it!" I panted emotionally, my eyes starting to burn. "Because I…thought it was a dream…that I'd only have that in a dream…and it _wasn't_ a dream…and you didn't _mean it_!"

Taichi froze in shock, eyes huge and jaw dropping open. He stared at me for several minutes, his fist unclenching and slowly falling back to his side.

"What…what are you saying, exactly?" He asked in a stunned, low voice. His face, which I'd focused on to try and keep myself stable, went blurry as tears gathered, and overflowed to pour down the sides of my face. Defeated, I let him have it – the bald, unvarnished, naked, and soul-wrenching truth.

"I want you. I _need_ you. You're my best friend but it's so much more than that to me." A sob masquerading as a laugh tumbled out of my mouth. "Pathetic, I know. I fucking fell in love with you, Taichi! I love you…" I couldn't say any more, already choking on my tears and emotional trauma. So I lay there and cried, knowing he was lost to me now.

Absolutely floored, Taichi hovered above me, at a loss for what to do – or say – as his mouth opened then closed several times. Finally, a strange look crossed his face, something I couldn't interpret.

Before I could muster my voice to ask him to say something – anything! – Taichi suddenly leaned down and pressed his lips firmly to mine.

I think my heart stopped. I know I suddenly stopped breathing.

And the sudden roar in my ears when my pulse started up again made me close my eyes against the dizziness. He was so warm…

Taichi pulled back and my eyes flew open as what he'd just done registered. Oh no… Oh gods, no…

"_Don't_!" The plea was desperate, hoarse and nearly unintelligible. In my head I was begging him not to do this to me, not to kiss me and leave me with that memory for the rest of my life. I couldn't deal with it. However, Taichi always does whatever he wants, and it was no different now.

He swooped in and captured my lips again in a swift – oh _god_ – demanding kiss. I whimpered, feebly trying to push him away by his shoulders. I ended up digging my fingers into them, instead, through his track jacket and shirt, when he pried my mouth open insistently and refused to back down. I…was too weak and devastated to keep trying to get away, unable to deny him, unable to let this go, so I gave in, closed my eyes, and kissed back.

A low noise from him made me open them again, and Taichi pulled away enough to look into my eyes. I didn't know what was going on, what to do or say, so I just stared back in confusion. Suddenly he cracked a tiny smile, and whispered, "Yama…" in such a husky, seductive way I shuddered in delight.

He didn't give me time to say or do anything in response. His mouth descended on mine again, and this time it burned me right through to my ripped and torn soul. Dimly I registered my arms moving to curl around his shoulders and neck, but my attention was captivated by the claim Taichi was making to my mouth with lips, and teeth, and at last his tongue. He plundered my mouth – owned it – and stole my breath and my sanity away. Heat burned any resistance in me away, and every nerve in my body sang a chorus of pure, lust-induced need.

I wanted to crawl inside him. I wanted _him_ inside _me_. I was going up in flames and I didn't give a damn.

I kissed back, meeting his tongue stroke for stroke, parry for parry. One of his hands found my hair, tangling his fingers in a handful as he tried to hold me captive while he devoured me. I moaned into his mouth and wiggled under him, trying to press more of myself against him but he was holding himself too high above me. Instead, I ran my hand down his back, feeling muscles tense as I passed, and barely managed to get my fingers on his ass – which felt incredible to my sensitive digits through the soft, smooth material of his track pants. A low moan came from deep in his throat and he yanked himself away from me, panting and staring down at me with glazed eyes gone dark like chocolate with lust.

I blinked at him, feeling more than a little dazed myself. What the hell was he doing? What was _I_ doing? Confusion, anger, and a severe slap of pain made my whole body go cold. And I began to panic.

"There is…so much we have to say to each other, Yama…so much to talk about…" Taichi said in that husky voice of his that did wicked things to my hormones despite my panic. Wait a minute… 'Yama?'

"We'll talk later, but…I think the first and most important thing is…" Taichi kept speaking and I realized he wasn't really looking at me as he did. And the blush that was making him lobster-red was really endearing. He was also quite fidgety, like he didn't quite know what to do with his hands. "Uh, well…you know that guy I like?"

Ouch. That was a knife to the heart that was being twisted viciously. I turned my head away, every part of me tensing up. "Yes. Rub it in some more, Yagami." My tone came out absolutely bone-chilling frosty and hurt. "I _know_ I'm not what you want. So if you don't mind, fuck off and leave me alone to wallow in my misery!"

Fingers grabbed my chin and forced me to look back at him. "Baka! Do I look like I'm trying to be a cruel bastard? I'm trying to tell you that the guy I like is _you_, you supreme, self-absorbed asshole!" He yelled at me, eyes blazing like twin suns. Me? I just gaped like a fish out of water.

Taichi's expression abruptly softened, all the tension in him – and subsequently myself – leaking out of him. His fingers gentled on my face, his thumb almost absently brushing over my lower lip. There was nothing but affection in his gaze – affection, admiration, and a wry amusement that made him chuckle.

"What's so amusing?" I demanded gruffly, crossing my arms over my chest and trying to look indignant, even though I was flat on my back with a very sexy Taichi straddling my waist and staring down at me. I don't think I pulled it off.

"Just that we're the two biggest morons ever. I know what my excuse was for not telling you sooner. Despite being the Child of Courage I was too afraid to say anything for…all kinds of reasons that are probably really stupid and ridiculous." Taichi sighed and rubbed at the back of his neck sheepishly. "Maybe…it was my opposite aspect. But…I love you, Ishida Yamato."

He…he…did he just say what I thought?

"You…you…" I stammered pushing myself up on my arms. Taichi smiled tentatively, looking very unsure of himself all of a sudden. "Really?" I could not believe I was getting my greatest wish.

"Absolutely." The smile widened.

"For real?" My own mouth was twitching into a smile.

"Absolutely for real." Now he was grinning.

Joy. That's the only word I could use to describe what filled me at his words. I sat up so fast if you blinked, you missed it, and threw my arms around Taichi's neck. He gave a startled yelp at the abruptness and I returned the kiss he'd give me earlier, plastering my mouth to his and not hesitating to kiss the shit out of him.

It took him all of five seconds to get with the program. His arms banded around me in return, one hand sliding fingers into my hair again (making me wonder if I'd found a kink for him already), and responding to the kiss with equal fervor and passion. Gods it felt so good to do this, to explore and touch and taste, to memorize everything I could to imprint him into my memory permanently. _Mine_. I thought, letting my tongue tangle with his. It was totally possessive of me, but I couldn't care less. He was mine, _finally_, after all the heartache and depression, and the angst. I let out a strangled moan and broke away, panting for breath, and clung to him desperately.

"Tai…" his name poured out on a litany of gasps as a I shook uncontrollably with emotion. I wasn't the only one, though. I could feel the tremors running through Taichi just the same. "Tai…love you…"

"Oh, Yama…" he breathed and suddenly we were kissing again. This time it was slow, thorough, and devastatingly blissful. What was more, I could _feel_ him, his heartbeat seeming to fall in sync with my own, his breathing matching mine. It…felt very much like it does whenever we Jogress our Digimon partners, and I drank in the warming, soothing sensations like I'd never tasted water and was dying of thirst.

However long we remained like that, kissing one another with all the emotion we had to give, we eventually stopped by some unspoken agreement. I leaned my forehead against Taichi's and smiled, at peace with everything for the first time in…years, really.

"You okay?" I asked, running my fingers through his wild mane of hair. It was surprisingly soft.

"Oh yeah." He sounded a little giddy. "You?"

"I'm a little delirious, but otherwise I'm perfect." I hummed happily and snuggled closer.

"I hate to ask," Taichi sighed, "and to ruin the moment, but will you come home, Yama? Besides the fact that we have a lot to talk about, and I really think we need to make up for lost time and…practice our make-out skills…" I muffled a snicker against his neck, "Well, besides that, you left a lot of worried people behind. We need to let them know you're okay and that everything else is fine now."

I nuzzled his throat with my nose and lips, distracted by the scent of him. His hands came up to find mine and linked our fingers together, pulling them in between us to hold against his chest. Reluctantly, I backed off and met his gaze to answer his question.

"As much as I'd rather stay here with you for a lot longer," I gave a pout that made a rather interesting gleam enter Taichi's warm brown eyes as they dropped to focus on my bottom lip. Did I feel bad for teasing? Nope. "You're right. I'm probably going to get my ass handed to me by Sora, but…"

Taichi grinned, snickering. "It's your own damned fault, Yama. You disappeared under her watch. Hikari isn't too impressed with you either, though she's a little more forgiving because you at least told Takeru."

"I'm a jerk. I know it." I hung my head and Taichi leaned in, drawing my eyes back up to his.

"Hey. They'll forgive you. I think you can find some sufficient way of making it up to them, too." Taichi pointed out, shifting off my lap to the side but dipping his head to kiss me deeply one last time. It kept the fires burning, that's for sure.

Tugging on my hand, he hoisted me to my feet. "Let's go home, Yama." That gleam turned into a glint that made me squirm in anticipation. "I've got plans, and you're the key figure in them."

I'm pretty sure my grin was bordering on stupid as we collected our footwear and my bag and he nearly dragged me to the nearest place for opening a Digital Gate he could find with his Digivice – which turned out to be a really old, bulky computer monitor. As the gate opened and we were pulled in, I had the small regret that I hadn't said a decent goodbye to Gabumon. Then again…my partner probably knew, somehow, that I'd be back soon.

We Chosen can't stay away for long, after all.

* * *

The gate didn't spit us out where I'd expected. It wasn't even from my laptop. And you'd think by now we'd be experts on traveling between worlds…

There was quite a bit of startled noise and voices, and a lot of "oomph!"s and "oww!"s and "ack!"s from those voices. Taichi and I landed in a huge Digidestined pile, all tangled up together with… Izzy, Miyako, and…Mimi? I stared into the Child of Sincerity's face from two inches away and said in surprise, "Meems! Hi!"

"Matt! Oh, I'm so glad to see you looking better!"

"Uh…guys? You're squishing me!" Izzy informed us from somewhere under the rest of us.

"Oh! Sorry, sorry!" Taichi scrambled off the top of the pile and hauled me off by the shirt. We were gentlemen and helped the ladies up, then gave Izzy a hand off the floor of… Well, what do you know? My living room.

…With the remaining five Chosen standing or sitting around the room watching with amusement, surprise, and even relief. Oh, and one source of frostiness (from Sora, of course).

Takeru moved around everyone and the furniture and threw his arms around my waist to hug me in welcome. "Matt?" I heard him murmur in my ear, voice worried and questioning. I wrapped my arms around my little brother and buried my face in his hair, hugging him tightly.

"I'm fine, Keru. Everything's good, I promise." I said quietly, trying to reassure him. He pulled back enough to look me in the eye, and he searched my expression and eyes to see if I was trying to hide anything from him. I smiled, and he grinned back.

"Welcome home, big brother."

I ruffled his hair affectionately and he laughed, turning to face the room but staying tucked against my side with his arm still circling my waist. I left an arm draped around his shoulders as I faced the others, smiling at them in an apologetic, sheepish sort of way.

Before I could say anything though, Takeru and Hikari spoke up first.

"Thanks, Taichi!" My little brother said gratefully to my…boyfriend. I blinked, as the reality of it hit me for real (even if I didn't really like the term 'boyfriend' since it didn't sufficiently describe our relationship), and looked over at Taichi with what I'm sure was an absolutely goofy expression.

He blinked at me, looking just as stupid as me, and then looked over at Takeru. "Uh…you're welcome, Takeru, but…what for?"

Good question, Taichi. I glanced from him to my brother.

"For bringing Matt home, but more for…" he paused, looked up at me, and smiled, "For making him happy. Truly happy."

I blushed, right to the tips of my ears. Though we hadn't discussed whether or not to tell our friends and/or family about our new relationship, the point was now quite moot.

"So," Takeru continued, apparently not happy with the shade of red I'd turned (as in not enough), "I guess I should say 'welcome to the family!' And do I get to start calling you my brother-in-law? 'Cause…"

I slapped a hand over his mouth, clearing my throat loudly and trying not to meet anyone's gaze directly. Hikari was giggling next to her brother and a less wrathful-appearing Sora, and she looked up at Taichi to take in his own embarrassed face (although I don't think he was quite as embarrassed as me).

"Well, if _you_ get to call Taichi your brother-in-law, then _I_ get to do the same of _Matt_, Takeru." She decided, glancing at me with an impish grin.

"Whoa!" Daisuke cried, his gaze darting back and forth between Taichi and I. "They _finally_ got together? About damn time!"

Ken clamped a hand over Daisuke's mouth and smiled benignly. "Ignore the tactless one, please."

Everyone was quite suddenly speaking all at once, offering their congratulations to both Taichi and I. Somehow our friends had pushed and nudged us toward each other until we were side-by-side. The shock of the fact that they _all_ apparently already knew how Taichi and I truly felt about one another – or actually thought we already _were_ together and just keeping silent for now – was enough to make me fairly speechless. Not to mention extremely stupid and foolish for not realizing it sooner myself.

How humiliating is that? Everyone seems to have known for far, far longer than I would have guessed. Well, there wasn't anything I could do about it anyway, so no use dwelling.

Next thing I knew, Sora was standing in front of me, hands on hips, face neutral. It made me very nervous, but I somehow resisted the urge to hide behind Taichi.

I tried a small, hopeful smile.

Sora frowned.

I wiped off the smile and hung my head like a little boy about to be scolded by his mother for sneaking cookies from the cookie jar.

"What do you have to say for yourself?" This was what one would call 'tough love,' I suppose.

"Uh…I'm a huge jerk and I'm sorry?"

"Damn right you are, Yamato." I winced at her tone, and nearly jumped out of my skin when Taichi's hand skimmed my hip as her arm slipped around my waist, resting on my other hip possessively and protectively.

"Cut him some slack, Sora. He had reasons for running off." Taichi said, attempting to defend me. Honestly, though, I didn't know if I liked his defense. "And I honestly don't think he's gonna do it again."

I shook my head fervently, agreeing. Sora sighs, then smiles tremulously at us.

"I'll forgive you, Matt, but only because I'm so happy the two of you finally talked to each other and found what I've seen for way too long now." She drew the both us down to hug us at the same time, one arm around my neck and the other around Taichi's. "Congratulations, guys. I know you'll be happy together."

I shared a glance with Taichi and we hugged the Child of Love – our mutual best female friend – back tightly.

"Thank you Sora." Taichi said quietly, before letting her go.

"For everything." I added in a whisper as I pulled away. Sora sniffled and gave me a quick peck on the cheek, smiling brightly as she stepped back.

Joe wandered up to us last, and was studying each of us with a critical eye. I blinked at him, confused for a moment, and then I remembered that we probably looked like hell thanks to our little fight on the beach.

I gave him a sheepish grin. "Don't worry, Joe. It's not as bad as it probably looks. No blood or broken bones, I swear."

He pushed his glasses up his nose and eyed us. "Uh huh. Well, I'll just say congratulations, then, and remind you to ice those bruises."

We grinned at him, nodding obediently.

Good old reliable Joe.

* * *

**Kali Notes:** I think the roar of cheers has deafened me… lol Stay tuned… **Please R/R!!**

**Relevant Episodes: **Nothing specific this chapter!


	16. Chapter 16

**Kali Notes:** Welcome back everyone! Continued thanks and appreciation for all your kind words of review and all your comments!

**Warnings:**Yaoi, adult language, adult situations, and cavity-inducing WAFF. **This Chapter:** LEMON! Graphic yaoi content - not found on ffnet! See my bio for links to other host sites. Do not read if you are underage or dislike such things.

**Disclaimer:** Kali & muses do not own Digimon or its characters. We're just borrowing them for the sake of this fic.

**Pairings:** Taito! With DaiKen, Takari, and mentioning of Joe/Mimi & Izzy/Miyako.

* * *

**_Chapter 16_**

The last of our friends to leave (after spending another hour loitering in my apartment) were Hikari and Takeru. Our siblings wanted to talk to us without the others around, since the topic was family. I sat on one end of the sofa, Taichi next to me, and Hikari next to her brother. Takeru sat in one of the sofa chairs, where he could see all of us at once.

My dear younger brother gave me an apologetic smile. "I'm sorry for telling everyone about you guys, Matt, without even thinking you and Taichi might not want to say anything yet."

I shrugged, dismissing the apology. "It's fine, Keru. Doesn't matter now anyway."

"We haven't really had time to talk about…well, everything. Actually." Taichi added, glancing sideways at me. "But we will." I nodded, understanding the promise to me in his words.

"I'm so happy right now, if my ankle wasn't so touchy, I'd do a happy dance." Hikari seemed to feel the need to share with us. Taichi gave her a one-armed hug by her shoulders and dropped a kiss to the top of her head.

"I'm happy that you're happy, sweetheart." He said, leaning back in his seat and stretching his legs out in front of himself. "Besides, _I'm_ pretty damned happy, myself, and I'm glad you and Takeru are okay with us."

I rolled my eyes, remembering what Takeru had told me a couple of days earlier.

"Of course we are, Taichi!" Takeru exclaimed.

"Why wouldn't we be?" Hikari added, puzzled. "We've always known there was _something_ between the two of you, more than just really good friends. And you've been wanting to tell Matt how you felt for a long time!"

I raised an eyebrow at that. I guess he'd had to confess to _someone_ and it would be Hikari. Still, I'd have to ask him later what those 'reasons' of his were for holding back that he'd mentioned during our fight on the beach earlier.

Taichi laughed nervously, watching me a bit warily. I think he took my raised eyebrow the wrong way.

"Yeah, well…water under the bridge now, Kari." He hastily moved the subject along. "Anyway, I'm glad."

"Me, too." I agreed.

"Are you going to tell Dad?" Takeru asked me, looking a little unsure of the idea. "Or Mom?"

I remembered Dad's visit earlier this week and stared down at my lap, picking the invisible lint on my pants, blushing a bit. "Dad's not a problem. I don't know about Mom."

"He's not?" Taichi wondered, I could feel his eyes on me. I cleared my throat and nodded.

"He dropped by earlier this week. Told me a few things I guess he wanted me to know – one of which was that he knew how I felt about you and that he…he basically gave his blessing." I dared to look up at Taichi with a weak smile. Poor guy looked about as pole-axed as I'd felt that day.

"Cool!" Takeru exclaimed, smiling. "If it helps, Matt, I don't think Mom will have issues, either. She knows about Ken and Daisuke, and they don't bother her."

"But neither of _them_ is her son." I pointed out, shrugging. "I'll probably tell her, Keru, someday. Maybe not immediately, but…"

He nodded.

Hikari looked quite sad. "What about our parents, Taichi?"

The older Yagami sighed despondently, falling back in his seat and staring up at nothing on the ceiling. After a long moment of contemplation, he spoke up.

"I'll tell Dad. Eventually. I don't really care what he thinks anyway. As for…well. I won't tell her, for her own peace of mind. It would just make things worse for her to know I'm with Matt."

I reached over and found his had, linking our fingers tightly and holding on with a silent squeeze.

Hikari nodded slowly. "It'll be alright, Taichi. You have Matt, now. And you'll always have him, and us." She took his other hand.

Taichi smiled, and it warmed my soul to see it because it was real and true and all Taichi. A smile none of us had seen for far too long.

"Believe me, little sister, I know."

They stayed a while longer, but when our siblings noticed I was falling asleep (curled up between the sofa arm and Taichi as we talked) they rose and decided it was time to leave.

I stifled a yawn and followed them to the door, Taichi right behind me. His arm slid around my waist and hung onto me as we said our goodbyes to Takeru and Hikari, and I leaned into him, feeling immensely content with the world.

"Goodbye, you two." Hikari waved as she moved out the door. "Don't forget to cal us one of these days or we'll have to come over uninvited and drag out into the daylight!"

I'm sure Taichi and I had absolutely ridiculous expressions on our faces at that less than innocent implication from Hikari.

Takeru just laughed openly and winked at us as he closed the door behind them.

When the astonishment wore off, I groaned and turned to face my best friend and…lover. That's one word I was looking forward to using to describe Taichi for the rest of our lives.

"I could say something horribly cheesy like, 'alone at last!' but I'll refrain." Taichi grinned, reaching for me.

I scoffed and stepped into his space, already moving in for the kiss I somehow sensed was coming. I slid my fingers through the hair at the back of his head and drew him in close. "It would also be stating the obvious." I murmured, my eyes drifting closed when he came too close to be able to focus on him without my eyes crossing. "So don't say anything. Kiss me instead."

His lips found mine and took immediate possession. Of course, I wasn't exactly putting up any resistance here. Where I'd been too full of emotional chaos last time, I was now paying much closer attention to what we were doing. I focused on the surprising softness of his lips, the gentleness that was hidden under the strength of his mouth on mine that spoke of not just affection but love. And the tingling heat that I could feel radiating from many different sources from him, heat that ignited a spark in me that I hadn't known existed, heat that called to me in a primal sort of way. That fire was passion, and desire, and pure lust.

The relatively chaste kiss didn't survive very long between us. I heard him groan softly and then his tongue flicked along my bottom lip. My mouth opened in response and his head tilted just so as suddenly we kissed again – a long, slow, deep and _very_ thorough one that made my head spin and my body tremble. I kissed back with equal intensity, and I savoured every single new sensation overtaking me. He tasted wonderful, very subtly sweet with a hint of the flavour of his coffee from earlier. And his scent was intoxicating. Every breath gave me freshly cut grass on a warm sunshiny day, the faintly lingering smell of his citrus-scented soap and hair products, and under all that was the scent of pure Taichi – a musky, almost spicy scent that made my most base instincts want to sink my teeth into him and mark him as _mine_.

I kind of wished I could see into his head and find out if he noticed such things about me, but the thought was a mere blink of an eye before it was lost in the sea of sensations.

I kissed him again, harder this time, more impatient and demanding, unable to get enough of him to calm the storm that was trickling along my spine and settling in my groin. Of course it was only fuelling the fire not dampening it, but that's what I wanted. More. Everything. All of him. After months of coming to terms with my feelings, the hiding and silent wanting, and all the angst in between, I wanted it _all_.

Kneading the nape of his neck as our kisses turned into shorter, harder ones (though no less deep or passionate), I hooked my other arm around his shoulders and pressed myself fully against him, absolutely wanton. He made a startled grunting noise then growled low in his throat, catching my bottom lip with his teeth and nibbling as his hands fell from my arms to my hips.

I let out a moan and my head fell back, nearly whimpering with pleasure as Taichi dragged his mouth along the line of my jaw and let his tongue flicker across the pulse in my neck – right before he latched onto it fully and sucked. Hard.

I cried out helplessly from the dual pain-pleasure of that marking (apparently he was feeling just as primal as I was), clutching at him as a shudder rippled through me. My _god_…how was it possible for anything to feel this good?

"Oh god, Tai…" I moaned, feeling my knees buckle. "Yes…"

He chuckled darkly at my reaction and nuzzled at my neck, lightly kissing the no doubt bruised area he'd just created. "You're mine now, Yama. All mine. I want you, Ishida. _Now_."

"Yes-s-s-s-s…" I hissed, reaching for one of his hands and grabbing it. I stepped away and turned, heading for his room and the nice, roomy bed there. "So come and get me, Yagami."

**XXX XXX XXX CONTENT EDITED OUT! XXX XXX XXX**

We ended up napping, entwined and twisted up with each other and the sheets, for a while. A couple of hours, maybe. When we woke up we stared at one another for a few sleepy, contented moments before I latched myself onto his mouth and rolled over on top of Taichi to return that favour I'd promised.

Twenty minutes later I was sitting on the bed beside a thoroughly debauched, sated Taichi, lying almost insensate and sprawled out with a dazed grin on his face. We were both all sweaty and sticky – and did I mention naked? – but neither of us seemed to care. Happy to watch him and wait for him to recover, I brought a knee up to my chest and let my hand continue to pet and stroke the slick, golden-hued skin of his thigh next to my hip. I couldn't seem to stop touching him.

Yawning, Taichi stretched luxuriously, giving me a wonderful eyeful of every muscle and how it all moved under his skin. He blinked lazily at me and dropped a hand on my calf, lightly rubbing. "Hell, beautiful." He said huskily, his voice thick with affection and happiness and definitely post-coital. I was beginning to love that voice.

"Sexy, Tai." I admired, raking my eyes over him unabashedly. "I suppose we should shower, change the sheets, go find something to eat…"

"Mmm…food. Yes, we should." He pushed himself up until he was sitting up properly, drawing my head closer with a hand cupped at the back of my skull. Taichi kissed me, a series of slow, long, deep kisses that were as addictive as any drug. I certainly felt like I'd been drugged when he finally released me. "We can't shower together through, Yama."

I will never admit to pouting. "Why not?"

"For one, the shower's too small." Taichi chuckled, rubbing my non-pouty lower lip with a thumb. "But mostly because I can't guarantee keeping my hands off you long enough to actually get clean."

No-o…I wasn't at all smug or pleased with myself. Nope. Not at all.

I slid off the bed and waited until Taichi had done the same before stripping off the dirty sheets. I wadded them up in a ball and headed for the washer and dryer, leaving them on the floor there a moment while I went to gather the rest of the dirty laundry. Taichi dumped all his laundry from the week at camp next to the sheets, then grinned as I proceeded to sort through it all into loads.

"Never thought I'd see the great Ishida Yamato doing laundry. In the nude."

I stuck my tongue out at him and got the first load going. "I'm not putting on clean clothes until I've showered." I reasoned, closing the lid of the washer and spinning the dial. "You go first, and I'll call for takeout, since I doubt we have much that would make a real meal right now."

"Taichi nodded, padding into the bathroom. "Sounds like a plan. I'll be quick, Yama." He promised.

"Whatever. Oh, what do you feel like eating?" I asked, standing just outside the bathroom to wait for his answer before I went looking for the phone and list of numbers for take-away places.

Taichi poked his head out the door. "Want to celebrate?"

That made me smile. "Sure."

"Let's have something off the wall, then. Italian?"

"Okay. Anything in particular?"

"Nah. You know what I like, Yama, so you choose." He flashed a grin at me and went back into the bathroom. His trust in me when it came to food made me feel all warm and tingly – and strangely domestic.

As I wandered into the kitchen (after grabbing a towel from the linen closet and wrapping it around my hips) I had a bit of an epiphany, and the full reality of this new aspect to our relationship sunk in completely.

Nothing had changed. We were still best friends, we still interacted the same way – from our arguments to how we spent our free time together to our everyday lives in each other's spaces – and we still had that same comfort level and trust in one another that we'd always had. The only thing new was the sex, and even then it seemed more like a natural progression for our relationship rather than a sudden leap. It felt good. It felt right. And I knew we'd taken the right path for ourselves.

Content with the universe in general, I dug out the list, found the number for the best Italian place Dad and I ever discovered that made deliveries, and dialled it up. After I made the order (including a bottle of nice, white wine) I went to my room to find my wallet and something clean to wear after my shower.

My lover was true to his word. It didn't take him long to shower before he was walking past my room calling, "Your turn, Yama!" since he didn't know where I was.

Taking out my credit card, I went to Taichi's room to give it to him. "Hey." I said, holding it up as I walked in. He was already in a pair of shorts and was pulling on an old t-shirt. "In case the delivery guy gets here before I'm out."

"I can pay, Yama." Taichi protested, eyeing the card.

"So can I." I put it in his hand and turned to walk out. "You can get the next one." I heard his resigned sigh and the muttered, "Fine, fine." behind me and smiled to myself.

No. Nothing changed at all.

* * *

By the time I was done with my shower (I take considerably longer ones than Taichi), the food had arrived and my lover was actually setting the table nicely as I padded out to find him. We were both dressed in old, faded and/or ripped clothes that weren't meant to be seen outside the house, and it really didn't match the surprisingly romantic atmosphere Taichi was creating out of our late meal. I mean, he had candles! I had no idea he had such a streak of romance in him.

"Wow." I took in the table, then looked down at my ratty old sweatpants and faded out band shirt. "I feel woefully underdressed."

Taichi blushed and laughed, shaking his head. "Yama, I don't care what you're wearing – especially since, most of the time, I'd rather you wore nothing at all." He winked and leered at me, reaching over the table to remove the lids from the containers of food. I laughed outright, unsurprisingly flattered to be worthy as the object of his lust. Moving around the table, I sidled up to his side and leaned in to kiss him deeply. After a long, satisfying moment of that, I backed off and went to find a pair of wine glasses. Taichi watched me pour with this goofy smile on his face.

"What?" I wondered, handing him a glass of the white Zinfandel I'd ordered. I'd wanted the white because it always equals a mellow, contented Yamato, whereas red usually just gets me drunk. And I'm a silly drunk. Taichi's already seen me in that condition and that's enough blackmail material for him, thanks.

Taichi shook his head, the grin softening into an adoring smile. "Nothing. I'm just insanely happy, that's all."

I sipped at my wine and gestured at the table. "Shall we? It's going to get cold." I was trying not to blush, failing miserably.

His answer was his growling stomach. Sheepishly he pulled out a chair and sat down. I followed suit, and we dug in to the feast quite happily.

After we'd eaten our fill, put away the leftovers, and cleaned up, we took our wine into the living room and dropped down onto the sofa in ungainly sprawls of arms and legs. Taichi ended up half-lying down, his head resting on the sofa's arm and his legs thrown across my lap. It was all fine with me. I have a thing for his legs – he is, after all, a soccer player and his legs are a fabulous sight to behold. They're even better to feel though. And distracting. Oh my…

"Yama…you're drooling."

I blinked and tried to look innocent, like I hadn't just been fantasizing about where I'd like those legs to be – and the interesting positions we'd be in to get them there. "So what? I'm allowed." I smoothed my hand up his calf.

Taichi sighed happily, wriggling his bare toes to make the muscles ripple under my hand. I very nearly moaned. "True, that. Actually, I'm wondering how I ever could have missed not realizing how interested you were in me."

My hand came to an abrupt halt just above his knee. It looked like it was time for that conversation we needed to have, much as I'd prefer wallowing in his amorous attention for a while longer. I sighed and sank back into the sofa cushions.

"I guess I did a really good job of hiding it." I mused. "There were a few times I fumbled, and I honestly thought you'd finally figure it out, but…" I shrugged, glancing down at him. "You're a much better actor than I am, Tai. I had absolutely no idea you wanted _me_. I was convinced that the mysterious person you said you were interested in was someone else. That it _had_ to be someone else."

"Out of curiosity, why did you think so?" Taichi tilted his head to look at me questioningly.

I laughed at myself. "Because I'm a moron. I was so sure you'd never be interested in me that way to begin with, and then you said you were waiting to see if the person would be receptive…even after you knew I was bi." I made a face, "Then, even if I hadn't thought all that, I didn't want to say anything about my feelings because you've had a rough few months and I didn't want to drop that on you, too – because if you didn't feel the same, then it just would have made things worse for you." I threw a side-glance at him, a wry smile on my lips. "Not to mention the damage it may have done to our friendship."

Taichi nodded, holding out his hand to me. I took it and let him thread his fingers through mine. He gave me a reassuring squeeze. "I'll be honest, Yama; I think you and I think more alike than we know." Now he laughed, shaking his head. "I was so hesitant to tell you that I'd fallen for you, for a very long time, because _I_ was worried I'd ruin our friendship even though…we'd promised nothing would."

I gave his hand a return squeeze. "Which only goes to show how much we must mean to each other, I suppose."

"Yeah."

"Good thing we know, now, how we feel. We can move on." I rubbed his leg some more, smiling. "Together."

"Together." Taichi agreed. I frowned when he sighed and grimaced, like he'd eaten something bad.

"What?" I asked. "I know that face. There's something you think you should say, but you don't want to."

"It's…about that whole…the handjob last week." Taichi moved his legs off my lap and sat up, leaning forward to prop his chin up with his hands, elbows braced on his knees.

My frown deepened in puzzlement. "Does it matter anymore?"

"I think it does. Obviously something about it affected you enough to drive you into such a depression that…what? You forgot who we are and what we do just by our existence. I want to know what happened, Yama, because I have to make sure that it'll never happen again." He looked at me now, and I understood why he was reluctant to talk about it. At least I could put him at ease, though.

"It won't. I can promise you that."

"Matt…" That would be leader-Taichi getting ready to lecture me.

"No, Tai. It won't." I asserted. "Listen, last week…I was all hung up on my feelings for you and confused about what to do. Then we…it was wonderful. At first, I thought it was just a dream, but suddenly I knew it wasn't and then it was too late." I fought the unnecessary blush off and ran my fingers through my hair. "I never thought I could have that with you – not just the sex but all the feelings that went with it. And when it wasn't a dream…when it was real, and I realized you hadn't meant to…" I fumbled, looking inside my own head for the reasoning I'd had back then. Luckily, Taichi caught on quickly.

"I should have clarified, Yama." He said softly, pulling me into his arms and resting his chin on my shoulder. "So I guess it's my fault."

"No! It's…"

"Shh…let me finish. We didn't get the chance to talk after, and if we had, I would have explained that no, I hadn't intended to jerk off my best friend in our sleep. I _wasn't_ fully awake, by the way, when I…did that. But when I did wake up enough to realize what I was doing…I couldn't stop myself either. No…that's not really true. I could have, but…I didn't want to." He paused, letting that sink in. "I couldn't take my hands off you, Yama. You felt so incredible, and the noises you made were just so…_hot_ that I couldn't help wanting more." He coughed a little, clearing his throat of the husky, needy quality to his voice. "Then after I got in the shower, I was determined to see how things were between us, and…confess. Everything. Because I didn't think I'd be able to hide how I felt any longer."

I snuggled back into his embrace, thinking about it. "I guess I can't fault you for that. I'm not any better."

"I'm still sorry, though. I should have just told you then."

I shook my head. "No more apologies, Tai. It's done, and we're together now. That's all that matters. But, uh, as for my little lapse in judgment…I got all depressed because knowing that you hadn't meant to be with me like that just cemented my surety that you weren't interested in me, and I…it really hurt. The rest is my own stupid fault." I said angrily – at myself, not him. "I was so busy feeling sorry for myself that I wasn't paying attention and the next thing I knew…"

Taichi hugged me tightly, his voice hoarse. "I was so scared, Yama. I collapsed on the field, and it felt like a part of me was being…I don't know…torn apart or buried alive. But it wasn't _me_ – it was that part of me that's _you_, and I was terrified! And I couldn't get to you to find out what was wrong or to help…"

I turned in his arms and kissed him hard, once, then planted softer, less harsh kisses all over his face. "I'm sorry for that. I can't promise that the Dark won't come after me again, but I _can_ promise it won't be because of something _I_ did, Tai."

He nodded and returned my kisses. "That's all I'd ever ask of you, Yama. Any of us Digidestined." He let his forehead rest against mine, eyes closed. "I love you."

"I love you." I answered, wrapping one arm around his neck. "And that's why I can promise. Because now I know, and I have no reason to ever be that depressed ever again."

"I'll make sure of it." Taichi stated fiercely, pressing a kiss to my temple.

I had no doubt that he would.

We stayed cuddled on the sofa a while longer, then hauled ourselves off to bed. It wasn't all that late, but we'd had an emotional, stressful couple of days.

Stripping, we crawled into Taichi's bed – newly made up with clean sheets. I was totally content to snuggle up to Taichi's side and use his chest for a pillow, much to his amusement. I liked it because I could listen to his heartbeat, and the rhythmic pattern of his breathing. It was musical in a completely different way.

"Yama?" He suddenly inquired quietly – just as I was drifting off, too.

"Hmm?"

"We're going to have to discuss other stuff soon, too."

"Like?" I had a pretty good idea, but I was too sleepy to concentrate on it.

"Who we're going to tell about us and when, what we'll do about university when the time comes, stuff like that."

"Yeah. Tomorrow, Taichi. Or the next day." I yawned. "For now…sleep."

His hand swept down my back possessively and he sighed, relaxing. "Yeah. G'night, Yama."

I was already out.

* * *

**Kali Notes:** Ooooh the satisfaction! XD Thanks for reading folks! More coming! lol Stay tuned… **Please R/R!!**

**Relevant Episodes: **Nothing specific this chapter!

* * *


	17. Chapter 17

**Kali Notes:** Oooh, man…So, so sorry for the delay everyone! This one was a long time in coming. I hope I haven't lost too many of you! Thank you for the last round of comments/reviews!

**Warnings: **Yaoi, adult language, adult situations, and cavity-inducing WAFF. **This Chapter:** Lime-y-ness! Semi-graphic yaoi content. Do not read if you are underage or dislike such things.

**Disclaimer:** Kali & muses do not own Digimon or its characters. We're just borrowing them for the sake of this fic.

**Pairings:** Taito! With DaiKen, Takari, and mentioning of Joe/Mimi & Izzy/Miyako.

* * *

_**Chapter 17**_

The next day we went shopping – and no it wasn't just for lube. We might be hormone-filled young men, but we do have _some_ restraint.

Besides…we needed food.

We also moved Taichi's bed (now _our_ bed – and didn't that just make me sappy and shivery with delight) into my Dad's former bedroom, the master bedroom. We also moved most of our clothes and such personal belongings like pictures and things. I left my guitars and various other musical equipment in my room, which would now be my 'music room' while Taichi left things of his own in his room. We'd agreed that just because we were together now didn't mean we each didn't need our own space on occasion, so this arrangement would probably work wonders.

The next few weeks of summer passed so slowly you'd think time had stopped. I had several gigs, three concerts, and a lot of practice sessions in between keeping me busy when I wasn't with my lover, and Taichi kept fairly busy with soccer and spending time with Hikari. He also started looking for a job to help pay some of our expenses. Surprisingly, he got really lucky with that. Our former high school was starting up a summer sports program, and they needed coaches and referees and such to help out – _and_ they were willing to pay (probably because it was still during school, since the next year had already started). Sure, it wasn't the salary of a _real_ coach or anything, but it was better than nothing and it was completely up Taichi's alley. For what could be, essentially, termed a 'summer job', it was perfect for him.

As for me, album sales were growing, as was our popularity with the fans. My royalties checks were getting larger every month. All in all, we were doing alright for ourselves – enough to live modestly but comfortably.

My dad drops by frequently to visit – aka check up on us – as does Taichi's father (only a bit less frequently and more to deliver progress reports on his wife's condition). I ended up telling my dad about Taichi and I, without meaning to, and without consulting my lover first. Oops. I just sort of…blurted it out in the middle of dinner. Taichi was a tad annoyed – and rather embarrassed – but it didn't last long. And Dad…just smiled, congratulated us, and declared that it took us long enough. He also asked if we'd told our friends, our siblings, or Taichi's parents yet. At that time, Taichi had yet to tell his father, and I…still hadn't broken the news to my mom. Taichi explained to Dad that even if he ever does tell his father, he'd _never_ tell his mother. Dad sort of winced and nodded in understanding and apology.

In the case of _my_ mother, she found out completely unexpectedly (all the way around). Apparently my dear, beloved little brother – whom I will murder at the next available opportunity, the brat – mentioned off-hand to Mom that Taichi and I were living alone in the apartment now, since Dad moved to Kyoto. She'd known about Dad moving, but I guess it hadn't occurred to her that it meant we boys were now on our own. Anyway, every now and then she would drop by and deliver food, for some reason under the presumption that teenaged males could not cook for themselves and thus we must be starving to death around here.

Or becoming grossly unhealthy and broke eating take-out and/or frozen dinners.

We aren't, of course, but we do appreciate a free, home-cooked meal that neither of _us_ had to make ourselves, so we said nothing in complaint and thanked her profusely whenever she did bring us a meal.

Normally she would call ahead, making sure we were even here, before she'd drop by. Of course, Fortuna continues to rain on my parade (and just when I'd forgiven her for the whole Taichi thing, too!) and when Mom found out about Taichi and I it was the _one_ time she _didn't_ call first. We found out later, after things had calmed down again and we could face Mom without blushing and extreme embarrassment, that she'd been in a hurry for work, so she'd just borrowed Takeru's key to the apartment that Dad had given him a while ago.

So this fine summer day that was only just beginning, Taichi was up long before I was, even though he didn't have work that day. Me, I'll take any excuse to laze about in bed all morning whenever I can – especially when there's the possibility, now, of dragging my early-rising lover back into bed with me for equally lazy sex. He'd gone out for a run, and since I'd developed a difficulty sleeping without my Taichi-blanket (who needed sheets when one has Taichi-the-living-furnace surrounding one all night?) I got up, and made coffee and toast, and wandered into my music room to fiddle with some new compositions I had ideas for.

That's where my cheerful, energetic, and sweaty lover discovered me when he got back. I didn't notice him, at first, as I was very engrossed in the melodies and harmonies and rhythms in my head. He came into the room, right up behind me, and plucked the headphones off me, pretty much draping himself over my back.

"Gah!" I exclaimed, startled. "Damn it! Are you trying to give me a heart attack, Taichi?!"

"Sorry." He apologized, kissing my cheek and nuzzling my ear with his nose. "There's no way to really get your attention without startling you, you know."

"Hn." I'd already forgotten it. One of his hands was trailing knowing fingertips down my bare chest (I'd just put the shirt on without actually buttoning it up) while soft lips were nibbling at my ear and neck in a very distracting way. Honestly, it hadn't taken him long to find all my hotspots and exploit the knowledge at every possibility opportunity. I suppose this was what they call the 'honeymoon phase,' the one where a new couple can't keep their hands off one another for all the tea in China – because I was just as bad as Taichi.

His unerring fingers played with my instantly peaked nipple while he went from nuzzling my neck to nibbling. I groaned and shivered, almost losing my grip on my guitar. "Gah…Tai, at least let me put my guitar down…" I pled, helplessly leaning back against him and arching into his hand when he pinched and plucked the opposite nipple. "Ah, shit!" I clutched at my guitar desperately.

Taichi's smirk was obvious, even if I couldn't see it. He did, however, reach over me and pluck the instrument from my less-than-reliable grip to carefully set it back on its stand for safe-keeping. I used those few seconds to pull my hormones back under control, rising from my chair and moving in the general direction of the door with the intent of taking this to our big, comfy bed.

Taichi didn't let me get far, though. I suddenly found myself pinned up against the wall next to the door – missing the light switch, thankfully – with a horny, eager Child of Courage doing his best to map out the interior of my mouth with his tongue. I didn't really mind that, so I kissed back just as enthusiastically. And as we kissed, and kissed, and kept right on kissing, I was doing my best to get his jacket off him, my hands intermittently sneaking up to sink my fingers into his hair, and run down his back then up again under his shirt in an effort to get at naked Taichi skin. He growled my name and left off long enough to rip the t-shirt he wore off over his head before he dove back in for more, devouring my mouth ferociously.

When he finally let me breathe, taking the attack to my neck and collarbone while one hand slid possessively around my waist and fingers slipped under the material of my pants to palm my ass-cheek, I gasped loudly and moaned, "Tai-chi, oh god, just…uhn…bedroom…" I was having trouble following my thoughts what with the groping and the "holy shit do that again!" and the hard erection he kept pressing up against my own. All I got for the effort was a grunt of acknowledgement but he didn't seem to be interested in moving yet, because he just went back to kissing me stupid – though his hands did head for the fastenings of my pants. While he worked at that, I managed to get my hands on his waistbands (pants and underwear) to start trying to shove the garments off his hips.

Next thing I knew, my pants were around my ankles, Taichi discovered my lack of underwear (I'd figured on this happening when he got back, so why bother?) with many pleased noises of approval, and I still hadn't managed to get _his_ pants off. With a frustrated growl of my own, I pushed him away dropped to my knees, giving the track pants one hard yank. That got them to his knees – and it got a startled yelp from Taichi, who quickly cradled his family jewels protectively against any further mishap. "Watch it!"

"Sorry." I apologized, leaning in and kissing him through the cotton. "I love those pants but they're in my way." Smiling up at his lust-darkened chocolate brown eyes, I rubbed my cheek against him, my hands stroking over his hips and thighs. Taichi licked his lips and joined me on the floor, pushing me onto my back and covering me with his body.

"Patience is a virtue, Yama." He teased, rocking his hips almost absently into mine. God, he feels _so good_ when he's like this (okay, any time really), all seme and sexy and watching me like I'm the only thing in the universe of any interest.

I reached up, intending to pull him in for more kissing, when some movement caught my attention from above and beyond Taichi. Raising my head to peer over his shoulder, I froze at the shocked gasp and horrified, "Yamato!" that came from…

Yep. You guessed it.

"_**Mom!**_" I squeaked out, frantically clutching at Taichi to keep him in place, suddenly very aware of my near-nudity (minus my erection – mom equals instant kill-joy) and, oh dear god, the position we'd just been found in. Oh, and Taichi's lack of clothing. But at least he still wore underwear!

So-oooo…

Awkward.

Mom and I stared at one another in equally appalled states for a moment, until she abruptly turned on her heel with a very grim, red-faced expression and disappeared. I listened intently but I didn't hear the front door open or close (over the jack-hammer of my heartbeat in my ears) so I assumed she was waiting out in the living room or kitchen for me. Us. Whatever.

"Matt!" Taichi hissed at me, flinging my pants at my head and stuffing his legs back into his track pants. "For gods' sake get dressed!"

I did so on autopilot, stammering, "W-what the _hell_ is she doing here? Oh god, my mom walked in on us!" A-a-and…there's the panic. I could literally _feel_ the blood rush from my head to my stomach, where that fluttery panic sensation took hold and I suddenly couldn't breathe.

Taichi, looking as pale as I felt, shook his head and grabbed my shoulders to give me a hard shake. "Snap out of it, Matt! You're gonna hyperventilate if you don't calm down and breathe!" I think I whimpered pathetically and he scowled at me. "Don't make me slap you, Ishida, 'cause I _will_!"

Obediently, I sucked in as deep a breath as I could, held it a moment, then let it out slowly. I did it a couple more times, and when Taichi seemed to be satisfied I wasn't going to collapse on him anymore, he moved away and finished dressing. When _I_ felt calmer I did the same. Buttoning up my shirt and tucking it into my pants, I fussed with my hair in an effort to make myself at least presentable. Taichi watched me, still kind of pale, but able to be just a little amused with my vanity.

Walking out to the living room, I nearly turned tail and ran as another wave of panic washed over me – so much it actually hurt. Although…I couldn't decide which hurt worse: the extreme embarrassment (redoubled when Mom spotted us and gave me a frown of deepest motherly disapproval) or the extreme cliché of being caught in the act by my _mother_, for gods' sake!

Despite the mantra in my head of "I'm a consenting adult" replaying over and over in my head, I cringed at the frown and hung my head. Taichi elbowed me none-too-gently in the ribs and was brave enough to actually greet her calmly, as if nothing untoward had just occurred.

"Ms. Takashi, good morning. It's good to see you again."

Thank the gods for the Child of Courage standing right next to me. I inched closer, resisting the urge to hide behind him.

"Taichi." Mom returned, eyeing him, then me, then him again. I could feel him vibrate, as if fighting the need to fidget guiltily under her stare. Sympathetically, and calling on what part of myself was Taichi, I drew her fire.

"Hi, Mom. Wasn't expecting you today. Ah…what brings you by?"

Oh god. I'd forgotten how scary she could be. If I'd been wearing any kind of footwear I'd be quaking in them. Hey! Don't look at me like that! Of course I'm afraid of my mother! Any sensible bad-ass is afraid of their mom! Fuck off!

"Ishida Yamato." Gulping, I froze. "Do you have an explanation you would like to share?"

"Um…"

"Actually, ma'am, we have nothing to explain." Taichi said coolly, standing up for the both of us, apparently. I winced and pulled myself together. No way was I letting him deal with this alone.

"He's right, Mom. We're adults. Consenting adults. In our own home, I might add, which you just barged into without calling ahead, knocking or ringing the doorbell, and without announcing yourself." I frowned at her, warming up to the topic with indignation. I snapped my mouth shut and clenched my jaw to keep myself from saying anything more, though, when this expression of pure confusion mixed with consternation passed over her face. And, knowing Mom, she was reminding herself that I _was_ an adult, that she'd given up any right to 'parenting' me long ago, and that she had no wish to start a fight with me when our relationship was still so fragile.

"How long?" She asked quietly, after a long moment of heavy, awkward silence.

"Doesn't matter." I answered, trying not to just burst into a long speech about true love, mated souls, etc. like the lovesick sap Taichi has turned me into. Hey, I'm not kidding! There's been a steady flow of love songs and ballads pouring out of me lately. I reached for Taichi's hand blindly and threaded my fingers through his, squeezing hard. "We're together and neither of us are going anywhere."

She nodded at that "I understand what you're telling me, but I don't necessarily _understand_" way. "Your father?"

"Knows all and gave his blessing."

A deep frown marred her brow, and I could just see the gears grinding away. "Taichi's family?"

"My sister knows. So does Takeru and all our friends." Taichi responded guardedly, and I just then remembered that Mom likely didn't know about Mrs. Yagami's troubles. I gave his hand another squeeze.

"Mom, I'm sorry we hadn't said anything sooner, but the right time hasn't exactly come up. We certainly didn't mean for you to find out…this way." I flushed red at her raised eyebrow. "And really, does it matter? Taichi and I…we're…"

"The same as we were yesterday, a month ago, a year ago." Taichi butted in when I floundered.

Mom sighed, looking down at the floor for a second before raising her gaze to meet ours. "Okay, boys. I get it. I'm sorry for being so shocked, I just…wasn't expecting it."

"And we were?" I muttered under my breath. Taichi nudged me in the side, trying not to laugh.

"I'm also sorry for 'barging in uninvited' like that." A slight flush crept up into her cheeks. "Trust me – it'll never happen again."

"Yes, well, just call first." I cleared my throat and tilted my head at her curiously. "Why did you drop by?"

"Oh! I wanted to drop off some tickets I got through work. They're for the amusement park. A colleague did a story on the new attractions and rides, and got a bunch of tickets she didn't need." Mom dug through her purse until she pulled them out in a wad. I blinked and took them.

"Geez. They were generous." Taichi plucked them out of my hand to study them.

"I gave some to your brother, Yamato, but I thought you might know more people who would be interested so…"

"Thanks, Mom." I said, smiling a little as I relaxed again. The initial panic was dying now, and Mom seemed to be taking things well enough.

"I'd better go. I'm already late for work." She was looking at her watch, even as she made for the door. I followed her, not really sure what to say now. Slipping into her shoes, she must have caught a glimpse of my uncertainty on my face because she reached out and laid a hand against my cheek.

"Everything's fine, Yamato, so stop looking so worried. I'm sorry, and…I'm happy if you are."

Sighing, I leaned into the touch (just a little) and nodded. "We are, Mom. I am."

"Well, then, there's nothing else to say." She turned and opened the door to leave. "Call sometime soon, and we'll all get together for dinner sometime, okay? Taichi, too."

"Sure. Bye, Mom."

The minute the door closed, my knees buckled and I sat down on the floor hard enough to jar my tailbone. Burying my head between my knees I started to laugh in a near-hysterical way. I didn't look up as my lover flopped down beside me and draped an arm over my back.

"You realize, of course, that the second Takeru – and thus, Hikari – find out about this we'll never live it down."

Gasping for air, I let myself fall over backward with a weird whimpering groan of utter humiliation. "Thanks…so much…for pointing…that out, Yagami."

"Just sharing the love, Yama. Why should I suffer alone when I have you?"

"I hate you."

"Love you, too."

* * *

Later that week, I came home from practice with the band mid-afternoon. I'd grabbed the mail from the mailbox without looking through it on the way up to the apartment, and had to pee so bad that I just dropped it on the kitchen counter and ran for the bathroom – thus forgetting completely about it.

It wasn't until Taichi got home from coaching around suppertime that the mail was returned to my attention.

"Oh my god… Yama!"

His yell brought me running into the kitchen from my music room. "What?! What's wrong?"

He held up to very official looking envelopes, with our names on them, and stamped with the University of Tokyo's very official looking seal.

"Oh my god." I echoed, barely audible. We stared at each other for a moment, then down at the envelopes.

"Here. On three…" Taichi held out mine and I took it, not even pretending that my hand wasn't shaking a bit. We both took deep breaths, held them then let them out on the count of three as we ripped the envelopes open and drew out the letters inside on the silent count of three.

I swallowed hard and slowly unfolded mine, though I couldn't bring myself to look down and read whatever it said. I watched Taichi do the same, then look at me with a scared expression. Then he shoved his letter at me and grabbed mine. "We'll read each other's first."

Okay. I guess that would be alright. I glanced down at Taichi's letter and read silently, "_Dear Yagami Taichi…_" blah blah "_Upon consideration of your application…_" blah blah "_we are hereby pleased to welcome you to our institution._" My head shot up, a wide, wide grin on my face. Taichi met my gaze a moment later, an equally wide grin on his face. We tossed the letters back at each other and I just threw myself at him without even bothering to read mine.

"YES! YES! YES! We did it!" I crowed, hugging the stuffing out of him and laughing when he curled his arms around me in turn and spun us around awkwardly. "Tokyo U!"

"On full scholarship, Yama!" Taichi cheered in my ear and pulled back enough to plant a rather enthusiastic but sloppy kiss on my mouth. "Did you see?"

"What?!" One arm still around his neck, I held up the letter so I could devour its contents for myself. "HOLY SHIT! I did!"

Taichi squeezed me and kissed my neck with a loud smacking noise, then laughed. "You're not the only one. They say I qualify for a few of their sports and leadership scholarships, but some of them are contingent on not just my grades but making the university soccer team, too." He read from his own letter, smiling despite the conditions. I didn't blame him – we'd kind of known that any scholarships he qualified for would probably have restrictions like that when we first applied for admission.

I was a little dazed with my own scholarship. I had no idea my grades had been good enough to warrant a full one, but I guess they saw something in me that I hadn't realized was there. I certainly wasn't going to argue about it!

Looking into Taichi's eyes, I couldn't seem to stop grinning. "We're going to Tokyo U." I said, awed. "Oh my god, Tai. We've gotta tell EVERYONE."

He blinked and let out a laugh. "Yama, I don't think that'll be a problem. I don't see either of us forgetting any time soon."

"True."

"We have to celebrate, too!" I decided, letting go of him and turning half-way toward the phone. "I'll start calling around to see if everyone's got a free night soon…"

Taichi didn't let me get farther than that. He grabbed my hand and tugged me back into his arms, pressing me up against the counter and claiming my lips with one hell of a kiss. It left me dizzy and breathless. "Later." He growled against my slightly swollen lips, nibbling and biting lightly at them. "_We_ will celebrate right now."

Oh yes, because I was really going to argue with that after he kisses me like that! I pushed him away and took a handful of his shirt, dragging him along behind me as I made my way to our room. I was so proud of him I could burst – and just kissing me like that gets me all hot and bothered, so I was going to do my best to show him just how excited I was.

* * *

The next day saw both of us attached to a phone, a D3, and/or a laptop screen as we spread the good news – and received a lot of good news in return from the others.

Turns out we weren't the only ones who received answers to applications that week.

Izzy said he was going into one of the top computer programming schools. He was hoping to learn all that he could so that he could one day study the Digital World with an even better understanding than he already did. He also babbled something to Taichi about building his own computer language to do so, but it went completely over our heads so don't ask me what that was all about.

Mimi said she'd be leaving us (again) to go to Europe for her continuing education. I told her that was a good idea, since a lot of the fashion industry was located there, but she stunned me when she replied that, yes, that was true, but she wasn't going for fashion – she was going for chef school.

…I didn't know she even knew how to boil water.

She brightly talked about the various culinary institutes she was going to tour and attend (she hoped) for a good half-hour before I managed to ask her if she'd told Joe yet. She had, and he was going to visit her as often as he could. I had to smile about that, knowing that the last time she'd been out of the country Joe pined away for her pathetically like a puppy that's been left behind. At least now he could pack a suitcase and chase after her sometimes, no longer a kid with no means to do so.

Which left Sora. We talked to her last, together, over the IM on Taichi's laptop. I could see how proud she was of us, even over the webcam, since she couldn't stop smiling at us.

"I knew you would do it, guys. Matt's a lot smarter than people seem to realize, and Taichi, you have a lot of other abilities that are just as important as book-smarts, abilities that the world really needs more of. Of course you're both going to the best university in Japan!"

I preened. I admit it. Taichi blushed, though. I don't think he realizes how many of his good qualities we actually see, sometimes. "Well, we're thrilled that they didn't just throw out our applications, let alone letting us in and giving us scholarships. And what about you, Sora? You applied for a few universities, too, didn't you?"

Taichi raised an eyebrow when she looked away, for some reason unable to meet our gazes. "Sora? What's up?" he asked.

"Oh, I applied at a few, yeah. Mom and Dad both insisted on it. But…I haven't told them yet that the program I'm interested in isn't anything they would have thought of for me."

I exchanged a look with my boyfriend. "Huh?" we chorused intelligently, confused.

She looked both embarrassed and excited, though reluctant to explain. "Uh, well, I sort of have these ideas…for design. But I really want to learn a lot more before I try anything."

"Design?" Taichi repeated, lost. "What are you going to design? You mean like people's houses and stuff?"

"Architecture?" I added in question when she shook her head. "Engineering?"

"God no. I don't have the math skills for that kind of thing." Sora made a face. This time it was my eyebrow that went up because she blushed. Hard. "Clothes." She mumbled.

I don't think I heard that right. "I'm sorry? I didn't catch that."

"Clothes! I want to be a fashion designer!"

I stared at the screen, surprised. Taichi seemed to be just as shocked. "Really? Wow, Sora… I always thought that would be Mimi. No offence, but she's the one who ever showed interest in such things."

She gave him a dark, self-conscious look. "Obviously she's not the only one. And are you saying I didn't care about what I wore, Yagami Taichi?"

"Hey! No way! I'm not saying that it's not a good idea, either!" he waved his hands defensively. "I mean, if that's what your dream is then do it!"

Still glowering at him, she huffed. "Well, I'm going to. It really interests me."

"I think you'd do really well." I said after a moment of letting her glare down Taichi – with both feet in his big mouth. He always seems to miss when it comes to Sora. Thankfully, she eventually gets over it. Eventually. "You don't let what other people think is 'in' to dictate what your style is, so why shouldn't you share that with the world?"

Sora beamed at me. "Why thank you, Matt! That's very sweet of you to say."

Taichi shot me a glare of his own, and an elbow to the ribs, muttering, "Kiss ass," under his breath. I gave him a shove and beamed back at Sora.

"Have you heard back from anyone yet?"

"Oh, yes. A couple of the universities have accepted me, but neither has the program I'm looking for." Sora shook her head. "I expect I'll hear from those ones soon, though."

"Great! You'll let us know when you do." I gave her a pointed stare, and she laughed and nodded at me.

"Yes, Matt. I will."

"Good. If you want, I'll be happy to wear your designs on stage." I offered, perfectly serious. Taichi looked appalled, like I'd lost my mind or something. Thankfully, he didn't say anything (further digging his own grave with Sora if he did).

"Really? Oh wow, Matt…I don't know what to say." Her eyes got huge, and it was a rare occurrence to see that sparkly, starry-eyed look girls often get on Sora's face. At this point, I started to wonder if I'd lost my mind.

"Uh, well, I'm sure we'll have plenty of time to figure all that out. Good luck with the applications, Sora!" I said cheerfully.

"Thanks, Matt!"

"Yeah, I hope it works out for you." Taichi added, his sincerity evident. Sora smiled, any ire with him gone at that. She knew that even if he didn't believe she was going to be any good at it, he still wanted her to try and do her best, and that he'd be cheering for her regardless. And that meant more to her.

Hikari and my brother were thrilled for us, as were the rest of the younger Guardians. With our siblings' help, Taichi and I managed to plan a big get-together dinner for the weekend to celebrate all of our Digidestined accomplishments. We were going to do a semi-formal thing, actually getting dressed up for supper and maybe going somewhere to dance afterward.

I was all for it. Mmm…Taichi in semi-formal dress…

Excuse me while I change my shirt – I just drooled all over the one I was wearing.

* * *

**Kali Notes:** Thanks for reading folks! The epilogue is coming up! I promise it won't take as long as this did. Stay tuned… **Please R/R!!!!**

**Relevant Episodes: **Nothing specific this chapter!


	18. Chapter 18 Epilogue

**Kali Notes:** You waited patiently, and here it is! Epilogue…

**Warnings:**Yaoi, adult language, adult situations, and cavity-inducing WAFF.

**Disclaimer:** Kali & muses do not own Digimon or its characters. We're just borrowing them for the sake of this fic.

**Pairings:** Taito! With DaiKen, Takari, and mentioning of Joe/Mimi & Izzy/Miyako.

* * *

_**Chapter 18 - Epilogue**_

I know I've made a big deal in the past about how the Powers That Be seem to determine my life and its direction, but I guess that's a human thing to do when things are going badly or you're having a bad day. After all, we never want to take any of the blame ourselves, always looking for an outside force to place the blame on.

And when things go right, we're all too willing to claim it as our own achievement.

However angst-filled and sappy our story was when Taichi and I got together, it's still life. My life – _our_ life. And that life goes on. It's just…not so lonely any more.

We're in the middle of our second year at Tokyo University. Taichi and I decided to move closer to campus, so we're no longer in the old apartment. We found a little place for a decent price not far away from campus, as a matter of fact, in a building that we later discovered houses a lot of students, usually couples and those with small families. We made a few new friends among our new neighbours, and it's been fun to start our new path in life together in this way. We've had to learn new ways of getting along, too. Not getting in each other's way during exam time, when to disturb study-periods and when not to, making sure we always set aside time for ourselves that had nothing to do with school or concerts or soccer games or _whatever_… It's just us.

As for people's reactions to our relationship, outside of friends and family, we've had a few snags. Taichi came home from one of his first soccer practices with the Tokyo U team (oh yeah, he did make the team, FYI – and as one of their strikers, no less) black and blue in very distinct places and with a split lip. No shiners though. He was inordinately pleased about that, the bastard. After he let me fuss, clean, and patch him up, I finally asked him what happened that got him into a fight (I'm not stupid, after all, and can tell the difference between some kind of accident and a beating). He attempted to make light of it, but I wasn't putting up with that crap and he finally told me the whole sordid tale.

"Some assholes with big mouths cornered me on my way out of the stadium after practice. One of them had seen us together at Ueno Park, Yama." He sighed and flopped back on the bed, wincing when he jarred a particularly nasty bruise forming on his shoulder. "You're a highly recognizable person, apparently, and when the dumbass saw you with _me_ – in all my male glory – he took offence and decided to gather some of his buddies to teach me a lesson about how that sort of thing 'isn't right' and 'disgusting'." Taichi's fingers formed quotation marks in the air with that, in a highly sarcastic gesture. He gave me a side-look from the corner of his eye, gauging my reaction warily. "I would have just ignored it, but then he started making some comments about _you_, and…well…"

"Defending my virtue, were you?" I asked with deceptive calm. I think my right eye was twitching, which probably gave how I really felt about it away. Of all the stupid, macho, unmitigated bullshit!

"And why shouldn't I? It's not like you were there, or I'd have happily stood back and let you rip that loser a new one – or three – and enjoyed it! And you're a vicious bitch when crossed, Yama. You know it." His grin was both cheeky and fond, and it took all the wind right out of my sails. He's gotten wa-ay too good at that.

Instead of giving him a few more bruises, I flopped down next to him and tucked my hands behind my head, staring up at the ceiling as I asked, "So what, exactly, were the comments about me that got you all righteously ticked, hmm?"

"He started off with how you strut around on stage and stuff about how much make-up and leather you wear, and how your songs aren't really that great it's just that the girls love the gay-rock star thing so much that they don't care if you can sing or not, and…"

I burst out laughing, so hard that I ended up curled in on myself on my side, gasping for breath. Taichi, in a rare show of patience, let me get it all out before he continued. "…and then he had the gall to say something about your ass. So _of course_ I punched him." Taichi reached over and gave said ass a light slap, making me shiver (we won't talk about that kink we recently discovered) and yelp, in a very possessive sort of smack. Possessive because his hand settled on it afterward, refusing to move it again. "_No one_ gets to talk about or touch this but me. I had to make sure he understood that."

Humming pleasantly, I wiggled under his hand and agreed. "True that. But still, Taichi, I'd prefer if you didn't get into fights about it. Especially since there are thousands of fans out there who are _always_ talking about my ass, whether or not you're within hearing range. Though I appreciate that you appreciate my assets so much." I grinned when he snorted a laugh and rolled me over onto my back, sliding himself up and over me until we were tangled together. "Hey, now, don't go getting ideas, Yagami. I've got a class in an hour, and I have to go soon."

He pouted cutely at me, but I let him kiss me anyway. I'd already kissed every one of his bruises and scrapes, after all. When he let me up for air, he studied me with a foolish smile, laid out like a Yamato buffet for him. "I love you, Yama, and I can't promise not to beat on anyone who thinks they're intelligent when they say such things about you, but I'll promise to always come out on top!"

Of course he would. I should know better than anyone, whether it's a fight or…otherwise. I pulled him down for more kissing, murmuring against his mouth, "Kick ass, Tai…"

* * *

We both had incidents like that, where someone would be rude and dumb enough to dare to make comments or confront us about our relationship. Thankfully, we never got hurt badly, and thankfully none of the jerks who we defended ourselves against were ever so numerous that we couldn't handle ourselves. That first incident of Taichi's was actually the worst either of us got, though after it, Taichi decided that maybe it would be a good idea to keep it low-key around his team, just in case. I didn't ask what made him decide that, but I would take a wild guess and say that there was probably a lot of commentary thrown about in the locker room that was less than tolerant. All I could do, anyway, was support his decision.

My main crisis occurred when I came out to the band. Boy, had I been way off when I'd thought they wouldn't care. I was absolutely stunned when our base guitarist walked out without a word, and our keyboardist actually called me a few nasty names before following him. This left me with only our drummer and second guitarist – which does not a band make. They were both a little shocked at the others behaviour and departures, but otherwise they both wished me well with Taichi.

Unfortunately, that was the end of that for the band. No one could convince the two dickwads (I decided I didn't have a whole lot of forgiveness for such intolerance, especially in people I was supposed to work with) to come back and keep the band going, at least not with me as a part of it, so it was mutually decided that we'd end it while our career was on a high note. We fed the public a story about wanting to pursue different avenues of music, and life-paths diverging, and it worked to hide the fact that I was totally off the market because I was in love. With my male best friend. The fans ate it up, and (unsurprisingly) we sold more copies of our albums in the following months than we had in our entire careers. Go figure. They do say, after all, that there is no such thing as bad publicity. Our record label and producers weren't entirely pleased with the dickwads for their unprofessionalism, but they've kept in touch with _me_. Apparently my voice is a hot commodity.

As in solo career. My head spins a little just thinking about it.

I don't know that I'll end up going for it. I mean, the music in me will never die, as it's part of who I am, but will I continue to make it public? We'll see. For now, I'm concentrating on university and on Taichi, because they're more important to me. And Taichi is his usual supportive self, always telling me that whatever I do, he's behind me all the way. Yes, he typically winks and smirks at me suggestively whenever he says that, but the point gets made.

It probably doesn't surprise anyone who knows us that despite the fact that we now tell each other 'I love you' frequently and have absolutely stupendous sex at every opportunity, our relationship hasn't changed all that much. We still argue and fight like always, we still have the banter and the deep friendship that was always there from day one. I go to soccer practices and games to cheer my head off proudly over him, and Taichi goes to concerts, gigs, and whatever to yell and scream and wolf-whistle like a crazed fanboy while simultaneously grinning stupidly with prideful possession.

I have been told by numerous people (aka Digidestined) that we're adorable. Neither Taichi nor I ever willingly put up with that, as we don't feel we're in any way 'cute.' I mean, what are we? Fluffy bunnies? Kittens? Puppies? No!

Just love-sick fools, is all.

Anyway, life goes on. Taichi's mom is now on medication for the mood-swings, and for her condition which has been diagnosed as a mix of manic depression and some kind of psychotic break – the real medical terms I don't really know or understand anyway, so I don't use them. Neither does Taichi, when he should talk about her at all. Schizophrenia or something, I guess. It's a shame that so many people throw that term around without even knowing or understanding what the condition actually is. If they did, they wouldn't toss it out there to describe someone so casually. Mrs. Yagami is back at home, now, and so is Hikari. She's only back for a few more months, though, since this is her last year of high school. After that, she's pretty adamant about getting into photojournalism. To that end, she actually had a few of her pictures published in a recent article of National Geographic on some of the cultural aspects of Edo from the Shogun days of our history. We were all pretty damn proud of her for that.

Takeru told me the other day that he was planning on buying a ring soon. Not an engagement ring – yet – but a promise ring. I guess to promise that he will buy her an engagement ring someday? I didn't really get it, but if he wants to buy her jewellery, who am I to protest? Of course, I teased him mercilessly about it (as did Taichi, when he walked in on the conversation), but in the end we went with him to pick it out. It was a lovely little thing, a circle of heart-shaped links crowned with solid little sun-shaped gold setting surrounding a tiny diamond that winked in the light. The sun actually looked eerily like Hikari's Crest in the way it was moulded.

Of course, it got me thinking. Which in turn ended with me trolling through jewellery stores looking for that perfect something to give to Taichi. We could wear rings, I suppose, even without the whole official-type ceremony, but rings didn't really suit us in that _everyone_ wore rings. And our relationship is just so much more than common.

I admit it. I even thought about matching tattoos. I know, I know! But I was thinking more of the permanence than anything else.

In the end, I did end up with rings. Necklaces were fine, but there were too many instances where we'd have to remove them (ie. concerts, games, practices, etc.), and they got in the way a lot. Same with bracelets or armbands. Taichi would especially not want something that would run the risk of getting damaged or lost. So, rings. At least we could just leave it with one another instead of in a locker or suitcase or whatever.

But these rings were very unique, so I was able to set aside that lack of feeling "special." I actually had to design them myself, and take them to a jeweller that specialized in unique, custom designs to get what I wanted, but it was worth it. Every penny I spent was worth it – especially since I pretty much blew most of the royalties from album sales on them. To begin with, I went with a rarely-used metal – titanium. Not gold, or silver, or even platinum (even if I'd had _that_ kind of money, I wouldn't have gone for it). The ring itself would be what was basically several little braided ropes of the metal wound together to form one thick rope, and the ends came together on top in a loop-shape – the infinity symbol. It was complicated design, especially considering how tough titanium is to work with, but the jeweller was excited about the challenge of it. The extra special part was that when titanium is heated to a certain degree, it turns blue, so I asked if they could somehow get at least one rope strand to be that blue colour so it would be woven into the rest of it. The crowning glory of the ring was the infinity symbol itself, because I added two garnets sitting in each loop so the ring really represented the two of us in the blue of the titanium and the red of the garnets. The result was perfect, and completely one-of-a-kind.

* * *

I have never in my life seen Taichi blubber. Oh my god who is this sap? Of course, I was feeling a tad misty, too. And red-like-a-lobster-faced. But Taichi? Biting of the bottom lip to try and hide the quivering, big crocodile tears pouring in torrents, stammering of my name and a lot of "Oh wow…Yama…" and "I can't believe…!" And the whole night he was practically another appendage he was so clingy and cuddly.

Not that I was complaining or anything.

We decided to have a small little party in the Digital World with just our friends and the Digimon present after we discussed how we wanted to make it all as official as we could get (short of running off to like, Canada or the Netherlands or something to get married). Besides, this would mean so much more. After we spread the word, and received confirmation that everyone would be there, we took a quick trip ourselves to talk to Gennai and the Digimon to ask them to help us set it up. You know, decorations, music, stuff like that. We wanted it on the beach – that same beach where so many of our big moments have happened.

Mimi told us not to worry about food, which made Taichi and I share looks of trepidation but that turned out well. Mimi is turning into quite the fabulous gourmet chef. Miyako and Izzy worked together with Gennai to figure out how to get music from our world to the Digital World for the occasion (it turned out to be surprisingly complicated, so they tell us). The Digimon did the decorating – it was really beautiful in that uniquely Digi-fabulous way – with various flora that, so far as I know, exists only in the Digital World. Flowers, vines, ivies, things like that were what made the place look festive. Sora talked us into letting her put together our outfits (don't ask) so we ended up dressed quite stylishly. Taichi wore a simple pair of black linen pants with a light cotton buttoned shirt in a vivid electric blue that did amazing things to his eyes and skin. He looked remarkably grown up, and I nearly swallowed my tongue when I saw him in it. I was far too used to him in track suits and t-shirts with shorts. In my case, Sora had a lot more to work with (considering she had my extensive stage-wardrobe to pick things from as well as my normal closet), but after much deliberation and "Here, Matt, try this on for me," a few hundred times, what she decided on was the same linen pants, linen-coloured rather than black, with a deep, bloody crimson red-coloured, silk buttoned shirt. She insisted that this should be one time – of all times – I needed to be in colour. Tai got a very familiar gleam in his eyes when he saw it, and I had a feeling that if we hadn't been on our way somewhere I'd have gotten hauled off to the bedroom – and I doubt the clothes would have lasted long enough to be worn again.

We each had words to say, and while they were important, they were just words. We already knew the sentiment and intention behind them. So then I presented the rings to Taichi, and there came the blubbering. After a few moments of that, he managed to get himself under control and took one of the rings from the little box to very emphatically slide it onto my finger. The look he gave me as he did it was so fierce and possessive I would have thought he was the one who was like a wolf rather than me. I took my turn, sliding the ring onto his finger in return, and we took a short moment to just admire them – and each other – before I found myself grabbed, pulled in, and kissed like there was no one else in the universe present and breathing was optional. His tongue was in my mouth and even if I'd wanted to say something or stop him I couldn't have. Instead I thought, _To hell with it_, and kissed him back with equal passion.

I barely even registered the cheering and cat-calls and wolf-whistles from our friends.

* * *

I guess, in reality, I could just go on and on with the story of our lives. But I won't. After all, the story never ends, even should we die. Others pick up the tale after us and continue on. But I look back on how Taichi and I finally pulled our heads out of our asses and got together, and I can't help but smile and shake my head at our collective cluelessness. I also sigh about the cliché of it all. But it's still our story, cliché or not. After all, if it wasn't something that happened that often, then it wouldn't be a cliché.

I used to curse Fate, and Fortuna, for how my life never seemed to go the way I wanted it to. I learned my lesson with Taichi, and now instead of cursing forces that know better than I, I thank them for their wisdom and ask for their continued blessings. Sounds stupid, but there it is. I'm not one to take for granted a gift when it's given.

Among our friends, Taichi and I have become role models for relationships. Idols, even, like the rock star I've been. It was kind of scary and daunting. The gang have continued to move on with their own lives, making new friends outside our circle and even having relationships with outside people, but in the end it always comes back to the Chosen. Years later, most of us have paired off with each other – not that it was much of a surprise. The only ones who haven't were Sora and Iori. Sora…well she's a whole other story that I'd have to let her tell, as I'd promised long, long ago that it was to stay between us. And Iori, well, I sometimes wonder if maybe it's because there just wasn't any of us left single – which is what happens when there's an uneven number in a group. Still, to his credit, it hasn't stopped him or even slowed him down. He's attacked his chosen path as a lawyer with all the focus he ever gave the fight against BelialVamdemon. Last I heard, he was tentatively seeing one of the foreign Digidestined he'd met on their travels to destroy the black towers. If there's anyone who can understand him, who can understand what he is – what _we_ all are – then it'll be one of them.

"Yamato!" Oh, the dulcet tones of my lover's voice shouting from the living room.

"What?" I yell back.

"Tell me you did not throw out the last of the pizza!"

Rolling my eyes, I get up to go argue with him about the edibility of three-day old leftover pizza.

Yeah…life goes on, and nothing changes.

* * *

**Kali Notes:** Whew! So I can finally say DONE. Thanks so much for all of you who've taken time out of your lives to read this, and even more thanks to those who took the time to comment and review. I truly appreciate it! I'm glad the fandom is still alive and kickin'! May we continue to find more ways to share our Digidestined delights! Thanks again, and remember: **Please R/R!!!!**

**Relevant Episodes: **Nothing specific this chapter!

**FIN ENDE OWARI**

_**~ Yami FireKali**_


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